AN: Influenced by El Tango De Roxanne from Moulin Rouge. Finchel, Fabrevans and Klaine are established relationships.
"C'mon Sam! We haven't got all day!" Mr Schue shouted from his desk in the middle of the seats in the auditorium.
After realizing that putting on a school production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show was fairly inappropriate for the age of the New Directions kids, Mr Schuester had decided that an even better idea was to put on a school production of Moulin Rouge. Rachel was positively thrilled; she had always thought she had been destined to play Satine and stressed that Finn should play Christian (Santana may have also snickered at the idea of Jesse St James playing The Duke, and Rachel may have turned red in the face).
However, Mr Schue had a different idea entirely;
"Considering you and Finn played Janet and Brad for Rocky Horror, I was thinking we could have a different couple play the lead, like Sam and Quinn for example."
Quinn was as delighted as Rachel had been when she had thought she was playing the lead and grinned wildly as Rachel huffed and puffed and argued with Mr Schue about how he was 'dismissing her talent once again'. Finn tried to calm her down as she eventually gave in and slumped back in her chair, sulking. Sam didn't really react in the same way as Quinn had; he wasn't really the new kid in Glee club anymore but he wasn't really in to being the lead in a musical, singing in front the entire student body – if they were willing to attend, that is.
Sam had had a lot on his mind actually, he had only recently told Quinn that he was bisexual, and thankfully she had no problem with it. However what he had with Quinn was strange; she was quite clearly using him to stay Queen Bee, and he was using her to shake off the 'new kid' label and become quite popular himself. There was no harm if it was mutual using; it meant no one would get hurt. Yet it did hurt. It hurt a hell of a lotbut it had nothing to do with Quinn. It was Kurt, Kurt and his stupid boyfriend, Blaine.
It would have been better if Sam wasn't dating Quinn because then he wouldn't have to cheat or try and keep up appearances. Sam and Quinn had never talked about mutually using each other, so even though it was clear that she was, Sam wasn't certain that Quinn was actually doing so. That and he couldn't just profess his love for Kurt whilst Kurt was quite clearly in love with someone else, and loving a dude when you were a dude was not something which was acceptable when you went to William McKinley High School.
And now, on top of all this, Sam was stuck with the lead in the play, playing Christian; the penniless writer who was helplessly in love with Quinn's character, when he most certainly wasn't helplessly in love with Quinn. What was worse was that it was only himself, Puck, Brittany and Mike on stage as they were to practice El Tango De Roxanne, which meant that everyone else sat in their seats staring up at Sam. Kurt even had the audacity to bring Blaine a long for this afternoon's rehearsal. The fucking nerve.
Brittany was playing to role of Roxanne and she would be dancing with Mike on one side of the stage. On the other side was Puck, playing the narcoleptic Argetinian (complete with large moustache) and Sam, who was still fiddling with the bow on his tuxedo.
"I'm not sure; this song is pretty emotional, I'm not very good at expressing emotion." Sam shouted back to Mr Schue who rubbed temple in frustration.
"Well think about it, you're in love with someone, painfully in love with someone, but you can't be with them. I mean, this person has chosen someone over you, even though you and everyone else know that you're the better guy for them. What are you feeling? Well, jealousy is the main thing, then anger and eventually sadness. Think about how much that would hurt, Sam, think about what that would do to you."
But Sam didn't have to think about it, because he knew; he knew it hurt and his eyes fixed on Kurt who was happily chatting away with Blaine who was obviously being obnoxious, even though Sam couldn't hear what they would talking about. His eyes watered slightly but not enough for anyone to notice.
"Whenever you're ready, Puck." And Brittany began to dance.
...
All the things Mr Schue had told him to feel, he felt it. Sam had seen Blaine and his father be shown around by Principal Figgins the other week, and he knew that one day soon, Blaine would be attending McKinley and Sam would have to put up with him every single day. It wasn't as if he hated the boy, it just pained him to see the dapper prep school kid because he was the guy Kurt was in love with; essentially, he wanted to be Blaine. It was a strange wish, but if that meant Kurt would love him, then so be it. Kurt had been at the side of Blaine when he was being shown around, like a puppy with his owner; it was kind of pathetic and sad at the same time. Why didn't Kurt look at Sam the way he did at Blaine?
Sometimes Sam did hate Blaine though, when Kurt wouldn't stop talking about how amazing he was. When he met him he wasn't that amazing; if anything, he was kind of smug. Blaine's face made him look like he thought he was superior, and Kurt only fuelled that ego by hanging on every word he said. At Rachel's party it was even more noticeable as Kurt didn't even bother to drink just so he could impress Blaine. Instead, Blaine made out with Rachel and still Kurt treated him like God. It made Sam angry, it made him think about Kurt even more and the green monster grew.
Sam cried only once, just once when he was alone at his home all before the financial mess they were in at the moment, where he still had his privacy to let out his feelings without anyone judging him. He wasn't really sure what he had cried about, probably something to do with the pain and the jealousy and why does Blaine get everything and he's left with nothing? He's left with loneliness and a cheating girlfriend and he didn't even want to think about what Santana was up to now.
He just wanted Kurt. He just wanted to be with Kurt and show him that Blaine is nothing compared to him. Blaine didn't care like Sam did.
After crying he had punched the wall. It had hurt his hand more than any damage he had made to the wall. He hadn't done it again.
Stupid Blaine and his hair and his uniform and his courage.
In his mind he was shouting now. Every time everyone went to breadsticks, the Lima Bean or even at other people's houses, his mind screamed 'I love you' and 'Fuck off Blaine' too many times to count. After a while his body would ache; yes, he was feeling physical pain as well as the mental pain.
He was wrong before; he hated Blaine, hated him,
...
The Glee Club stared at Sam as he stood staring back at them, out of breath. He hadn't realised what had happened; he had felt as if he wasn't really there and had completely forgotten that he was performing in front of everyone. Sam looked over at Puck, who was staring too, and then Brittany and Mike who were doing exactly the same.
After a few moments of awkward silence, the auditorium erupted with applause and shouting. Mr Schuester seemed ecstatic that Sam was finally able to sing something with so much enthusiasm, so much emotion. Sam gave a little smile over to the rest of the audience as he overheard a few of them comment on his performance;
"I didn't know he could sing like that!"
"I knew he had those lips for a reason..."
Sam's eyes finally rested on Kurt who had not stood up from his seat (like everyone else) and had not clapped either. Instead, he sat still, his eyes fixed on Sam. Sam noticed that thankfully Kurt was wearing a smile, only a small one as he still seemed shocked from what just came from Sam's voice box. Blaine hadn't noticed, neither did anyone else, but Sam had been looking at Kurt the whole time he sung his lines and Kurt had had no idea Sam felt this way towards him.
Sam didn't know what to do or say until Mr Schue kindly asked them all to leave the stage so Quinn could rehearse Diamonds are a girl's best friend. In fact, Sam hadn't looked to see what Quinn had thought of the performance. Once he walked backstage however where she had arrived, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him "That was beautiful" and proceeded to walk on stage in her sparkly top hat. Sam's eyes didn't follow her; he couldn't be around them all, not this time, he needed to leave, and fortunately there was a way out through a back door. He had just poured his heart out on that stage and all he was feeling right now was nausea, but not regretting what he had done.
Kurt knew now, and there was nothing Sam could do about it. He had done his part, and he wondered if Kurt even knew he had a part to play in this drama. For all Sam knew, Kurt thought there was nothing, and that Sam's just a really good singer, better than he thought he was. Maybe Kurt thought that by staring at him through the whole performance, Sam was just using him as an eye line; someone to look at. No, Kurt wasn't oblivious. He was so smart in fact, smart enough to know that Sam would be embarrassed to sit with the rest of the New Directions and watch Quinn's performance.
Instead, Kurt had made his way backstage and was leaning against a fire extinguisher.
They both stared at each other for a moment, and Sam stayed perfectly still as Kurt slowly walked over to him.
"I can't do this." Sam whispered. "Can't Mr Schue just give my part to Finn or something?"
"What? And have Quinn play Satine? You're opening Pandora's Box there."
"Who?" Sam scrunched his face in confusion and Kurt gave a little laugh.
"Never mind." Sam breathed a sigh of relief that Kurt wasn't angry or confused, he seemed to know exactly what was going through his mind without him having to explain. He couldn't imagine having to properly explain to Kurt how he felt. Instead, Kurt insisted he joined the rest of the students and watch Quinn, because apparently, Blaine kept talking through all the performances and Kurt needed someone else to glare at Blaine with him.
"The fucking nerve." Sam smiled.