Nakamura Shungiku's characters.
"Saga-sempai…" Ritsu's nose seemed slightly stuffed and he seemed to be trying his best, even in his sleep, to get any air in. His stopped breathing for a long moment and Saga squeezed his nose gently in worry. Ritsu shifted and muttered unconsciously. When he let go, the boy was breathing clearly again.
Saga sighed happily as he brushed Ritsu's hair back, and looked at the features of the boy.
Ritsu's delicate face was lit up slightly by the setting sun. His long, pale eyelashes fluttered every once in a while as air went into his lungs and his chest lifted a little, causing Saga's heart to beat just a little faster. He wanted to laugh at his own stupidity, but he only managed to grin stupidly. Ritsu's light brown hair seemed to be closer to a pale gold in the light and even as he slept, he smiled contentedly with rosy cheeks.
Saga looked at that smile and felt his heart fill up to the brim.
His hand unconsciously slid over the boy's cheek, to feel that warmth that the boy seemed to exude like a little ball of sunshine.
His mind wandered.
He hadn't meant to push Ritsu to do anything. The boy's hands had been shaking slightly back then, but even so, he had agreed. And that made Saga fall in love a little more. Despite his fear, despite any hardships, the younger boy would always rush head on and somehow make it through.
And the fact that the boy loved him so much that even when he was scared, he would brave it, made Saga's teenage boy heart squeal a little. He hadn't wanted to try to push him into it, but all the same, he was greedy for more. He wanted to know how far, how deep, he could push. If he could go to the very edge and Ritsu would still continue loving him.
At the same time, he didn't want to hurt him.
He couldn't.
Saga's slim fingers lightly slid down Ritsu's neck to trace his collar bone and then he place a soft kiss on Ritsu's beating chest. It was warm.
Each short moment he spent with Ritsu made a small square of warmth. A small picture, a happy memory among empty, lonely ones, sewn into cloth and they built up one by one to make a quilt. And he was warmed up to the tip of his toes by the boy's unconditional love.
Saga's hand reached out to slide his fingers into Ritsu's curled up fingers and he squeezed them tightly.
He remembered the warmth on those slim, delicate hands that reached out to him and the soft pink lips that kissed him. Even more so, he remembered the gentle light that shone in those watering green eyes that looked at him as though he was the most wonderful thing in the world.
And he admitted it.
Maybe Ritsu loving him did make his ego feel better.
Maybe the way Ritsu was so loved and protected made him jealous.
But the one emotion that never failed to overflow in him when his eyes laid on Ritsu, was love.
It was love that made his heart start beating after 16 years of silence. It was love that made his stomach churn and burn. It was love that relentlessly tugged at his heart strings. And it was his love for Oda Ritsu that made him feel.
He was embarrassed. He was angry. He was happy. He was flustered. He was overwhelmed. He was in love. All these emotions awoke to finally meet him.
And there was only one person he could blame.
The corners of his lips curved up and he slid his fingers through Ritsu's silky hair.
He would have to wake him up soon, but before that, he had to try it.
Try out those words in his mouth. So foreign, so comfortably fit.
I love you.
They overwhelmed his mind and broke into his thoughts every moment of everyday.
I love you.
He whispered them softly, cradling them like a child on his lips.
"...Ritsu...I love you..." ...more than anything, anyone in this whole world...
He left the last few words unspoken, but it would be alright. They had all the time in the world.