A/N: This took forever to write. I just couldn't think of a good ending and I'm still not happy with this one but we'll see what you guys think. Just as a note this was entirely written on my iTouch. Took longer but gave me something to do when I was commuting.
It was all he wanted. To be around her, to be near her. He was thankful that she had let him stay because he wasn't sure he could go home. He hadn't wanted to tell Emily yet and being with Gillian was so much better.
After the hug and brief kiss on the check she led him to the spare bedroom. They stood just outside the door for a moment before he scooped her up in another hug. He held her for what seemed like eternity. He really wasn't ready to let her go and she held him back just as tight. Funny enough, his thoughts drifted back to the women at the bar and what he had told her. He wondered if he could be Gillian's ideal man. Cal wanted to be. He had wanted to be for awhile now, even more so as the divorce progressed.
He felt Gillian begin to pull back and started to as well. But she stopped when he was far enough to look into his eyes.
"I was really scared today Cal," she admitted to him.
"I know love. I'm so sorry you had to go through that," he said with an apologetic frown.
"Me? God Cal, I wasn't scared for me. I was scared for you. You were the one with the gun pointed at your head," she couldn't believe him, thinking only about her well being.
"I know. That's what I meant," he said. "I was scared that you would see me shot. That you'd be the one to go and tell Emily and Zoë. That you'd be the one left behind to run everything."
She looked sad and it really wasn't hard to see.
"But we both know you're already running the whole thing. I just poke in once and awhile," he added with a small smile, trying to make her feel better.
That's when she flashed him the tiniest of tiny smiles and he knew she would be okay. He began to pull away to make his way into the spare bedroom when it was her turn to pull him into a hug. He didn't care if he spent the whole night just standing there with his arms around her. It felt like he was finally somewhere that was home. It was a something he hadn't felt in a long time.
They stood there again for a long while before Cal decided that they should move this somewhere more comfortable. His feet were starting to get tired and her feet must have been too. He gently guided her to the bed and sat them down. He gently pulled back from the embrace to lay her down and she willing allowed him to. She didn't have the will to do anything but let him guide her. He got her lying down and bent down to take her shoes off, closely followed by his own. He shed his jacket and the items in his pockets onto the floor. When he looked back up she was just lying there, staring at the distant wall. Her eyes had watered over from being open so long and she looked disenchanted. Like all the wind had been knocked out of her.
Cal moved up to the top of the bed and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and turned off the lights. She slipped her arms around him and held on tight.
"Cal?" she asked softly.
"Yeah, love?" he asked quietly.
"Don't ever do that again please?" she begged him.
"Not planning on it love," he said with a small amount of humor.
"Good," she said as she pulled him even closer if possible.
"You should really let me look at your head before we both drift off to sleep," she said a few minutes later as as sleep was settling in.
"Alright love," he said without much protest and she pulled away from his embrace. Gillian made her way into the hallway and down to the bathroom where she retrieved the necessary items and made her way back.
By the time she had returned, Cal had sat up with the pillows propped up behind him and he looked snug as a bug. She turned the lights on before she sat on the edge of the bed as he scooted forward to meet her halfway. She moved his hair out of the way to see the cut more closely. It was long but mostly shallow and Cal seemed mostly unaffected by the whole thing. She wondered if he was just pulling her leg when he had backed away earlier from her reaching hand.
She began to clean the cut with an alcohol swab and he only flinched slightly from the cool touch. The cut looked slightly bruised and there was some dry blood on the edges. She wiped it away with the cool swab and a gentle hand as he seemed to relax while she tended to him. She worked slowly but surely wiping away the old blood and cleaning the wound which made Cal grimace a little. Gillian got the antibiotic ointment out and applied it to the cut with a cotton Q-tip. Then she gently applied the band aids to his head and smothered the edges down with her finger tips. She pressed a kiss to his forehead right below the cut in an impulsive action that had suddenly overtaken her and she really couldn't fight the emotion at this moment. Not after a day like this.
She moved back and turned her head to the side to start picking up the trash from dressing his wound as he stopped her by gently grasping her wrist. She looked at him with surprise and he pulled her closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her again like they had earlier but this time it felt different than before. After a brief moment he pulled back enough to look her in the face. He studied her, looking for any indication that she would hate him for what he was about to do.
He slowly moved his head closer to her and chanced a brief glance at her lips and in the process he unconsciously licked his own. He was now close enough to feel her breath on his lips and he waited a brief second to give her time to pull back. To deny him what he was about to do. But she didn't. He closed the gap between them, gently and surely pressed his lips to hers.
It was sweet and simple and oh so wonderful he thought. It wasn't much of a kiss but it was a first kiss and the first kiss was always the best. She responded by apply her own pressure back and he took this as a good sign. He wasn't going to press his luck by venturing further than this kiss and he pulled back when he needed to breath. He figured that if she wanted more than she would pursue it.
When he opened his eyes to look at her face she still had her eyes closed and a content smile on her lips. He was happy with the result that he had caused. Gillian opened her eyes slowly hoping that this wasn't a dream and it wasn't. Cal was sitting there, looking at her with an open and clear face. It was something she hadn't seen in a long time. She felt wonderful when he had kissed her but some doubt lingered. Gillian wondered how far he wanted to go, or for that matter how far she wanted to go. But he seemed content to just sit there looking at her. Talking might help her decide what to do next.
"Cal, what was that?" she asked without trying to sound accusatory.
He took a second to contemplate his answer. The truth didn't always work but he felt that in this instance if he lied she might never trust him again and he surely didn't want that. But how could he explain how he felt to Gillian when he couldn't even explain it to himself.
"I don't know. What were you thinking when you kissed my forehead? Whatever it was, it was probably the same thing I was thinking," he said truthfully. She looked at him intensely.
"I think I understand," she said with a smile on her face. He had felt the overwhelming urge to be close to another human and she was glad that had been her and not someone else. She turned to finish picking up the garbage and moved to leave for the bathroom.
She obviously didn't understand if she was leaving him. He wanted her all. He craved her and she was walking away from him. He had messed up somewhere. But she hadn't looked mad or upset. Just understanding was written on her face. Maybe she had misunderstood what he meant. That had to be the reason. Well, then he would just have to make her understand exactly what he wanted. There was no more being indirect about what he felt for Gillian. He got up and followed her into the bathroom.
"Hey love?" he asked quietly with her back to him while she was putting the items back in the bathroom cabinets.
"Yes?" she answered with question.
"I think you must have misunderstood me," he said with some hesitation in voice.
At this she turned around with a questioning look on her face. She was a little stunned to say the least. But one look at him told her that he felt vulnerable and uncertain. She wouldn't crush him when he was this open to her.
"I think I must have," she said tentatively. He looked like he was on the verge of doing something dangerous now. Something they both could regret.
He took the two steps necessary to close the gap between them and in the same motion he wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her close and tight to him fearing that she would flee. For a split second Cal hesitated but one look at Gillian and it was over.
He brought his mouth down to her lips swiftly and the rush of emotion he felt at the contact was overwhelming. If he thought the first kiss was amazing then there was no adverb to describe this moment. He poured everything he felt for Gillian into the kiss and she responded with the same heat and passion. For the first time in a long time he was floating. Just utterly floating without a care at all because of this woman. This woman in his arms that he had so much to tell.
There came a moment that they need to break for air and they didn't pull that far apart, only resting their foreheads on each other. Their breathing was heavy and they both had grins a mile wide plastered on their faces. The air between them shared as they both gulped in the oxygen to replenish their deprived lungs.
He broke the silence first.
"I have so much to tell you. Things I want to say and express. But not right now. Tomorrow I promise, love. When we're rested and over the things that have happened today. Plus, you know me too well. I can't help but leave you in suspense," he whispered in her ear.
She nodded in agreement. Today had been long and all she wanted was sleep. To sleep in his arms is what she really wanted.
"Come to bed with me," she almost begged him. "Wrap your arms around me until we fall asleep."
"I can do that love," Cal said with such affection she couldn't help but go slightly weak-kneed.
He took her by the hand and led her out of the bathroom to her bedroom. He pulled the covers back and pulled her down to the bed. Cal tucked Gillian into his side and she fit so snug. This what he really and truly had wanted earlier.
"Tomorrow love, I promise, we'll talk," he whispered again.
"I know Cal. I trust you to keep that promise," she whispered back.
The tiredness of the day overtook and soon they were blissfully asleep. Moonlight drifted in through the curtains to illuminate both of their faces which contained smiles.
Tomorrow was another day full of promise.