Title: Time Machine

Summary:As long as I can be by your side, I'm sure the future will be even more beautiful than the past we had. Fluff. Oneshot.

Rating: T

Pairing: China x Japan

Warnings: None really. Fluff? And a little angst.

A/N: I don't actually write in first person, but I don't know what drove me to write this in first person. For anyone who is curious, I wrote this fic while listening to Time Machine by Hatsune Miku. This fic is my first time trying out first person writing, but I hope it's not too bad and you enjoy it anyway? This fic was completed some time back, but I completely forgot about it and just found it recently. Since it's the first day of 2012, I've decided to upload it to commemorate? Haha.

It is yet another new day that I wake without seeing your face beside mine. Though it hurts, ever just an aching pain when I remember our times long ago, I don't complain because I know that I will see your smiling face soon.

I know it takes longer to fly here from Beijing than it does from Tokyo, but I still take the earlier flight anyway. The world may not know, but you are the only reason why I am always early for every meeting, day after day. So that I do not miss a minute of your smile, and every little thing that you do from the very moment you walk in.

Today, you are early. A smile instantly lights up on my face as I watch you walk in – is that a panda in your arms? My smile slips for a moment; for I would give the world to be in that panda's place for even just one short moment. It hurts again, but its okay, because you are happy and that is all that matters.

The others soon file in and fill the room too, but I am almost oblivious to their presence. They don't matter. Well, I mean, they do but…you are the most important one in my heart. The meeting starts but even the words grow faint in my ears and I stop listening though I know America will want to copy my notes later. Its okay, I'll just make something up later. My eyes are for you and you only.

The meeting wears on. You seem restless throughout the meeting, is everything okay? The worry grips my heart, but I know that you will not tell me even if I asked, so I just leave my mind to wonder anxiously.

Do you know? The way you purse your lips when you think, or the excited gleam in your eye when you talk, or the soft smile that is on your face…they are simply indescribable. I smile silently to myself even as I continue sneaking secret looks at you. I'm still praying the day will come when I can gaze at you before I fall asleep and see your face once again in the morning, every morning. One day, I'm hoping with all that I am, I can look at you…and you will look back at me.

But for now, I content myself with these small glances. For how can I ask for more? I know I don't deserve it.

I draw the worn jacket tightly over me. England sees and asks if I am feeling cold. I shake my head, because the cold is one that is inside my heart, one that only you can warm. I look back to you once more. Do you notice? Notice that I'm wearing the same jacket you made for me so long ago? Because it's the closest thing that I can have to having your arms around me now. Still, I do not dare to ask for more. For how can I do so?

I who first turned against you.

I who first lifted the word.

I who drew first blood.

I who hurt you the most.

The tragedy of war that tore our love story apart. I have been saying a thousand 'sorry's everyday, do you hear them? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am sorry.

If only I could build a time machine to go back to those times where I could still be by your side.

Always. I've built machines that have fulfilled so many people's dreams…so why does this one wish of mine still continue to elude me? To go back to the time where we were still together, those happy innocent times, the time before everything was torn apart. That time of soft caresses, gentle kisses and warm smiles…

I still remember the beauty of those times, how each day had passed by like the pale roseate tint of a sakura blossom.

I still remember my first confession, our first kiss, and our first time, beside the deep lake where the silver moon flickered in, deep within your secret gardens.

How you had gently lay me down, all the while whispering reassurances into my ear and gently caressing my cheek to calm me down because it was my first.

How you had been so slow and gentle, always making sure I was fine even as the heat grew unbearable and your every move tore out incoherent cries from my mouth.

How we had eventually succumbed to the pleasure and every action became faster, became stronger, became more desperate…

Desperate for each other.

How you had panicked upon seeing my tears, thinking that you had hurt me somehow even though I kept stating that they were tears of happiness…

Finally, how we had spent the rest of the day basking in each other's presence, your arms wrapped securely around mine…and that breathtaking smile that you had given me.

That smile… My right hand has somehow crept up to grip my left arm tightly, painfully, but that pain is a mere shadow of the hurt that shot through my heart then.

The meeting is over now. I look up but I can no longer find you. Where did you go? Will you not even grant me one final glance? Reluctantly, I gather my things and follow the crowd streaming out of the meeting room. I see you once again in the corridor and my heart leaps, but you are so far away now… I turn to start off in the opposite direction, disappointed.

Then I hear your voice call out.

"Japan!"

Can what I just heard be true? I hold my breath and somehow manage to muster the last of my strength to turn around…Only to see you standing there, holding out a hand to me. I reach out my hand to brush against yours, longingly but uncertainly.

"Y-yes, China-s…san?"

I stumble over the honorific, because to use it makes you sound like a stranger, and you are anything but that to me. You stare at me with an expression I can't read. Nervously, I pull my hand back slightly.

Then you sigh and your hand takes mine firmly and you pull me to your side.

"Would you like to come over today?"

And you smile that breathtaking smile once again.

My heart stops and I can only stare in wide-eyed wonder. You laugh and then start to pull me along and I'm starting to suspect that you already knew my answer, didn't you?

As long as I can be by your side, I'm sure the future will be even more beautiful than the past we had.

-fin-

A/N: I actually think Japan sounds like a stalker in this …. Though I'm pretty sure that he probably actually is a real stalker. I mean, ninja skills and all. He would make a pretty good stalker I think.

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