Jeff woke up to the hallways literally exploding in eight part harmony. Kurt, his roommate who still wasn't use to the Warbler's random singing, groaned before flopping back into bed. If Jeff had learned anything from rooming with Kurt, it was to never wake the boy up without coffee in his hand. Today, however, was the GAP Attack, as Blaine Anderson had named it, and knew that if Kurt didn't wake up now, he wouldn't wake up in time to look absolutely perfect for the GAP Attack.
Jeff swung his legs out off the bed, before walking over with fake swagger to Kurt's side of the bedroom. "Yo, Hummel, get cho ass outta bed now!" Jeff knew Kurt secretly liked his gangster swagger, or the lack of it Jeff thought in his head. Kurt smiled, and Jeff ruffled his hair, sitting on the edge of the bed. Exasperatedly, Kurt said, "I'm up! I'm up! Geez!" Kurt sighed, fixing his hair. Jeff laughed at the counter tenor, before getting up to take a shower.
"Not so fast Jeff! I call first dibs!" Kurt sprang out of bed, before bolting to the shower. Jeff protested, but Kurt was way too fast for him. Sighing, Jeff flopped back in his bed, think he'd be able to snooze for about ten more minutes, if not more seeing as Kurt took the longest shower ever.
Too bad Trent and Thad had to walk in and scream, "ITS GAP ATTACK BITCH!" Which startled Jeff, and he let out a very girly scream. Thad and Trent bursted into laughter, as Jeff clutched his pounding heart. Blushing a deep scarlet, Jeff rolled his eyes at the two trouble makers, who promptly left the room after wards, most likely to tell who screamed at that high.
"NO WAY!" Jeff heard David jump up, most likely. "DUDE! I THOUGHT IT WAS KURT!" That and Trent really laughed at that. Jeff sighed, knocking on the bathroom door. "Kurt, open up! I gotta shower!"
"Jeff! My hair is a mess!"
"So is mine, bro. USE SOME GEL TO STYLE IT!" Jeff retorted, to which Kurt replied a small little huff followed with a 'fine' before he turned off the shower. Jeff practically bounded into the shower, pushing Kurt out of the way. Kurt clutched the towel around him, protectively, before shutting the door to their dorm, which was wide open.
"Jeff, why the hell did you open the door?" Kurt called to the boy in the shower.
"Thad and Trent opened the door, and then they screamed at me, so I let out the girlish scream at them!" Jeff yelled to Kurt, turning on the shower. He heard Kurt giggle, "I thought it was one of the boys making ruckus in the hallway!"
Jeff grumbled to himself, before hopping into the shower, hoping no one would make fun of him for his abnormally high pitched scream. Of course, with the Warblers, they were bound to at least make fun of him for it for a few hours or so.
He walked out of the shower, and put on his uniform. Jeff was getting into the zone. He fake swagger walked over to Kurt, who looked a little more than bummed out. Putting on his best gangster face, Jeff sat down next to Kurt.
"What up my brotha? Something got cho down?" Kurt smiled at Jeff, before shaking his head.
"Nothing I can't handle. Thanks Jeff." Kurt got up, hearing Wes scream down the hallways, "WARBLERS! TO THE WARBLER-MOBILE NOW!"
Kurt turned around to Jeff, arms crossed, hip jutted out, "And, by the way, you are far too white to be gangster." Jeff sighed, getting up, a smile on his face.
"Says the boy they use to call Porcelain." Kurt gasped, his cheeks turning red.
"How'd you know that?"
"My cousin is on the Cheerios. Brittany S. Pierce." Jeff laughed at the brunette, who slapped him on the shoulder, a smile on his face. Jeff grinned back, opening the door for Kurt. Rolling his eyes, Kurt walked with poise and confidence out of the room. Jeff slapped Kurt's butt, to which Kurt blushed a brilliant red.
"Jeff, you sure you're not gay?" Jeff laughed at Kurt's response. He nodded, "Pretty sure I wouldn't have gotten laid with Erin if I was gay. You see, Kurt, I have this thing for-"
Kurt turned a darker shade of red, covering his ears, before going, very childishly, "LALALALALALALALA!" As to drown out Jeff. Thad came over to Jeff, before pointing to Kurt. "What's that about?"
"I slapped him on the butt. He wanted to know if I was gay." Jeff shrugged. Thad looked at Jeff, before snickering.
"When you scream, -!" Jeff covered his ears, following Kurt's suit all the way to the bus, where he was Thad-free.
Hallelujah, thank you Jesus.
The bus ride there was filled with Blaine psyching himself out. Kurt sighed, looking over longingly at Blaine, who was bouncing up and down, looking incredibly nervous. Jeff nudged the brunette, silently telling him to go talk to him. Kurt gave him a look, before sighing, getting up to talk to Blaine.
David sat next to Jeff, before glancing over at Blaine and Kurt, Kurt obviously calming Blaine down. He gave Jeff the one eyebrow thingy, and Jeff sighed.
"Kurt's in love with Blaine." Jeff stated the fact, like it was something David should know. David rolled his eyes at the blondest of the Warblers. "Duh. And we all assumed Blaine was equally in love with Kurt. That curly haired boy is such a dummy sometimes."
Jeff gave David a look. "Says the boy who asked the dummy how to impress a girl freshman year. A girl who turned out to be in love with Wes. And you thought she was in love with you."
"I REGRET NOTHING!" David exclaimed loudly, jumping and pointing at Jeff. Jeff rolled his brown eyes at David. Wes looked at the two, before walking over.
"David, would you please keep your voice down? We need peace and quiet to sing properly. I would say we'd warm up, but Thad didn't want to bring the piano in here."
"Wes," David spoke calmly to his best friend, "We are Warblers. Peace and quiet only come when you threaten to throw the gavel at someone. Or bang it really hard."
Wes sighed, pulling out the gavel from his pocket. He promptly smacked the seat with it. The bus settled down, within half a second.
"Damn gavel." David flopped next to Jeff, as Wes led the bus in vocal warm-ups.
"Damn gavel indeed, David." Jeff agreed with the second in command, before taking his part as Tenor III and following Wes in warm-ups.
He looked over at Blaine and Kurt, who weren't warming up, however. Blaine looked a lot calmer, and Kurt looked a hell lot happier.
"David, we have two sexually frustrated teens on our hands." Jeff whispered to David, who shrugged.
"You mean Trent and Thad?"
"No you idiot!" Jeff sighed. He'd have to do this on his own.
Figures.
Jeff had to admit, the dude Blaine was crushing over had an insane amount of hair. Like, insane. He snuck a glance over at Blaine, who for a split second looked like he was going to run. Kurt, however, pushed him back, and whispered something to him that Jeff couldn't read. Lip reading was not his forte. Singing, however, Jeff was good at singing. Wes instructed them to look casual, and Jeff made his way to the sunglasses, trying on various pairs.
The pink sunglasses caught his attention, but Garrett gave him a "Bitch please." look. Jeff grumbled, before trying on some of the aviators, looking fly. Or, at least he thought so. Garrett rolled his eyes at the boy, who started bobbing up and down to the beat of the song, before they started singing. Soon, the Warbler's started singing. Jeff joined in on his part, bobbing to the music, winking at some of the customers. He knew how to work an audience, believe it or not. Jeff and Garrett watched from the corner of their eyes, and saw Blaine making his way over to the sunglasses. He grabbed the pink pair Jeff had been spotting, and Garrett looked at Jeff, who was wearing aviators. Jeff straightened his tie, before following Blaine's lead. Behind Blaine, Jeff noticed that Garrett and him looked like bodyguards behind one insanely cool celebrity.
Jeff saw the confused look, and almost flattered look, on the shaggy GAP dude's face. It was cute, but Jeff knew Kurt liked Blaine more than Wes was attached to that gavel of his.
"My father's last name…" Blaine carelessly threw the glasses over his shoulder. Jeff knew that GAP dude would not be impressed with Blaine throwing his merchandise over his short self like that. With confidence, Jeff caught the glasses, before holding them awkwardly in his hand. He danced around, before placing the sunglasses in his blazer pocket, hoping he'd remember to return them afterwards.
He, however, kept the aviators on.
Wes made the signal to do the 'You the shh…' line, seeing as everyone was loving the Warblers impromptu performance. Jeff saw Blaine was climbing on furniture, and made his way over to the spiny circle thing Blaine was standing on. This was so not part of the performance, but improvisation was fun, Jeff decided.
Hell, this whole thing was practically improvised.
Jeff, at the most awkward angle imaginable, spun Blaine around on the spiny circular thingy. Jeff, as Blaine kept on singing, made his way over to the sunglasses to put back the aviators, forgetting entirely about those pink sunglasses he had in his blazer pocket. He set them back quickly, before making his way to the only choreographed part of the performance. He danced his part flawlessly, or so he assumed. The Warblers high fived one another, and a few bromance hugs commenced (David and Wes, mostly.). Jeff was riding on a performance high-
Which is why when the alarms went off due to some pink sunglasses that resided in Jeff's blazer, and undignified scream was let loose from his mouth, similar to the one this morning.
Thad and Trent snickered. Jeff blushed, before buying the pink sunglasses.
"Dude, you cannot rock pink sunglasses." Nick commented to Jeff one Warbler practice. Kurt nodded, quickly.
"Doesn't go well with your skin complexion." The fashionable counter tenor said. Jeff rolled his eyes, which were hidden behind said sunglasses, before perching them on the top of his head. Wes banged the gavel, before glaring at Jeff to take off the out of dress code accessory. Jeff sighed, placing his offensive pair of sunglasses in his blazer pocket.
Wes said that they were going to be performing 'Animal' by Neon Trees for Regionals. The group of boys exploded into hoorays and fist pumps, as well as fist bumps. Jeff and Nick did a little bromance hug, and Kurt and Blaine grinned wickedly at one another. Jeff grinned, too.
His little Kurt was finally going to get some action! With one of the most dapper guys in school!
Jeff was also kinda tired about Kurt whining all the time over Blaine, and if that meant less hours about how 'expressive those sweet hazel eyes were' then by all means, let it happen.
But then Blaine looked away, and Kurt's pretty little face crumpled.
Jeff sighed, knowing that tonight Kurt would be talking about.
He'd be talking about how Blaine needs to man up and tell Kurt to kiss him already.
Shit. As much as Jeff loves Kurt, and as much as he loves the fact Kurt wants to get some, Jeff cannot look Blaine in the eyes after those conversations.
For, when Kurt's really riffled up, he holds back no detail.
None.
Zippo.
And as a straight man, there are some things Jeff never needed to hear about Blaine in a certain context.
Shit.
Jeff wore his sunglasses all day yesterday. Even worse, Blaine decided that that would be the day he'd pester Jeff, Kurt's roommate, about Kurt after Kurt decided to talk about how amazing Blaine was last night.
Jeff was the color of his sunglasses by the time the day was done.
"Jeff, as much as I love the sunglasses, you need to stop wearing them. They look horrendous on you, and I will no longer let my roommate commit such acts of fashion violence." Kurt announced, loudly, one day. Actually, Jeff's third day with the sunglasses. Surprisingly, he had grown very attached to the plastic item. With a fake tearful goodbye, Jeff handed the sunglasses over to Kurt.
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it Jeff?" Kurt smiled at the tenor. Jeff nodded, before pretending to cry. Nick patted Jeff on the back, saying it was best for everyone. Jeff sighed, his head bent in faux melancholy. Wes and David gave each other a look, before rolling their eyes at the semi-dramatic blond Warbler. Jeff pouted, before sitting back down.
"You took away my awesome pink sunglasses." Jeff pouted. Nick laughed, before ruffling his hair. It stuck out at odd angles, and Jeff didn't move to fix it.
Nick sighed, "How Kurt can stand you is beyond me."
Jeff stuck his tongue out, "I'm awesome. I give him great advice."
Kurt giggled, "No. He thinks he gives good advice."
Jeff sighed, before turning his attention to Wes. He looked at Kurt, who was looking down at the sunglasses, before looking at Blaine. An idea formed in his head.
"Kurt," Jeff, whispered, "Blaine looked kinda nice in those sunglasses. O Wise Fashionable One, how about you give em to our star?" Kurt's cheeks turned pink as Jeff said this.
"What do I say?"
"We shall discuss this later, O Wise Fashionable One." Jeff grinned.
"Fine, O White Gangster One." Kurt sighed, and Jeff inwardly fist pumped into the air.
Kurt just called him gangster.
That so made up for taking his pink sunglasses.
The next day, Kurt and Blaine were holding hands in the hallways.
And Blaine was wearing the pink sunglasses.
Not many people can say they accidently stole pink sunglasses, found out that two sexually frustrated teens are in love with one another, and get them together in the span of four days over said sunglasses.
But Jeff could.
Jeff most certainly could.
"Thanks Jeff!" Kurt thanked his roommate with a quick hug, before running outside to meet Blaine.
Jeff grinned.
"What was that all about?" David asked Jeff, who rolled his eyes.
"It's because I can actually make up good plans that work. I got them together!"
David laughed at that. "No, Kurt gave Blaine those pink sunglasses, and then confessed his true feelings with a chaste kiss on Blaine's lips. And Blaine responded by kissing back and taking the sunglasses." David rolled his eyes at Jeff, whose mouth was agape and slightly slack jawed.
"See ya Jeff." David bounded away. Jeff's eyes followed the tall Warbler.
Shit. He didn't get any credit.
Ever.
"Kurt…" Jeff shook his head, knowing that there would be a small war in the room tonight.
He was either getting those pink sunglasses back or credit for getting those two over sexually frustrated teens together.
For sure.
Riker Lynch, Jeff the Warbler you guys! The full title of this story is called Stolen (Pink Sunglasses) but I didn't wanna put the pink sunglasses part in there...Yeah... I saw that Jeff the Warbler caught the glasses and that's really where this whole thing came from...I'm not going to lie. I've been sick, so I'm also not really all the way there...But, I do love Jeff now. More than I did before. He will forever be gangster in my mind. Always. He will always be shipped with sunglasses too. Jeff/sunglasses.
Also Keff. (Kurt/Jeff friendship.).
Always. Forever Jeff. EVERYTHING IS JEFF AND NOTHING HURTS!
Reviews? Maybe? What if I give you a cookie? Cookie? COOKIE! (Seriously, I'm really sick and will regret most of this Author's Note...most likely.)
GLEE TUESDAY! KLAINE SINGING ANIMAL! (I have listened and my heart went SQUEEE!)
I LIVE A JEFF/RIKER LYNCH APPRICIATION LIFE DEAL WITH IT!
(I'm going to stop writing this AN in fear of my sanity. Okay!)
LOVE!
-Madi