The Doctor, the Daleks, the RRA and World War Two

Disclaimer: I wish I owned the doctor, but I do have a clone, so it's all good XD

Summary: the doctor and Amy arrive in WW2 London, a couple of meters away from a very familiar purple box. Winston Churchill is formally introduced to the RRA and they join the Doctor to see the Dalek. The doctor's reaction is nothing like that of the RRA. The Dalek is officially screwed.

…

"What?"

The Doctor stared incredulously at the purple box as the door started to open.

"And as for the treaty of Versailles –"

"Mysty! Shut up about history, Dammit!" Voldy yelled from the door, "We're not here for a lecture, we're here to pick up Deannie and Mira."

"We're here,"

"Then who are we picking up?" Voldy sounded puzzled

"No-one" L.C replied, "we're here to visit Robin and his gang.

There was a sudden banging noise and the box juddered.

"I thought you said you were the last one of your kind?" Amy whispered.

"I am," the Doctor replied distractedly.

"So what is in that box?" Amy asked, "It's exactly like yours but –"

"Purple," the Doctor replied, "that TARDIS is purple which means… they're back."

"Who?"

"I think," the Doctor said slowly, "It's time for you to meet some friends of mine – I think they've had a problem with the steering. Again."

A dark blonde head poked out of the door, accompanied by a fan-girl squeal before both the doctor and Amy were brought to the floor.

"OH MY GOD!" Voldy squealed, "Guys! We're in world war 2 AND THE DOCTOR AND AMY ARE HERE!!!!"

"They know who I am?" Amy asked, shocked

"They… like to keep up-to-date" the doctor replied carefully as some 20-something other girls came rushing out and joined in the hug-tackle.

"Translation; we watch doctor who regularly and WE LOVE YOU GUYS!" the girls chorused

"Mine!" Nova exclaimed.

"I want a clone!" several of the other girls yelled almost immediately after.

"Girls, I do have to meet Mr Churchill," the doctor chuckled; the girls jumped up and hauled the doctor and Amy to their feet.

"What're we waiting for?" Annie giggled; "Let's go!" they ran to see Mr Churchill.

…

"Who are your charming friends, Doctor?" Mr Churchill asked as Voldy and Josie launched at one of the scientists and started explaining to him the infinite complexities of time and space.

"So logically," Josie was saying, "Time cannot be linear as you think it is, because anything that is changed in the past can affect the future and cause an alternate reality, meaning that everyone's destinies will be completely different from the ones they had before the alteration in the timeline."

"You've been spending too much time with Spock," Voldy commented.

"He's my husband of course I have." Josie replied.

The Doctor chuckled as the pair then went on to discuss how laser frequencies could be altered to produce different affects, which lead on to Voldy's theory of gamma radiation lasers set to a frequency of 115Hz. Amy listened without the slightest idea what they were talking about.

"If we set the frequency to 115Hz," Voldy insisted to the scientist, who refused to believe that such a thing was possible, "It could break through a carbonised steel shell of up to 100 metres thick and scramble the equipment without causing any damage to living tissue!"

"She's right," the doctor replied, "I've seen that theory used in the 24th century against klingons. Very effective; completely disabled the weapons and engine systems."

"Ha!" Voldy grinned triumphantly, "I told Spock it'd work! Lucas is always right!"

"Who's Lucas?" the Doctor asked.

"Long story," the RRA replied, rolling their eyes at Voldy, who just shrugged and grinned back at them.

"Chekov said it'd work as well," she added, as if that settled the matter.

"Hang on," the doctor suddenly realised, "Where's Jack."

"In a shed someplace probably," Voldy replied, "with a few pot plants. Why?"

"Why's he in a shed?" Amy asked.

Before the doctor could explain, Annie chipped in.

"Because of the unfortunate Davros incident."

"What?" the doctor was disgusted, "When?"

He immediately wished he hadn't asked; Annie launched into a very detailed description of how Voldy, annoyed with Jack, accidentally locked him in the same shed as Davros and, as a result, some rather scarring events took place, all of which Voldy had successfully erased from her mind until that moment, when she screamed and hid behind Amy and the doctor.

"Don't ever mention that again, Annie!" she whimpered, "Ever!"

"Sorry Volds," Annie grinned, "almost as bad as troll?"

"Worse!" Voldy replied, still hiding behind the Doctor, "And Doctor… can I steel your jacket?"

"No!" the doctor exclaimed, "My jacket."

"But –"

"No."

"If he wants to keep the jacket, Voldy," L.C reasoned, "He should keep it"

"Can I borrow it then?"

"No!"

Voldy stuck her tongue out at the doctor.

"Well, what's this amazing new weapon you're on about Churchill?" Maple asked the dumbfounded Prime Minister.

"Umm… well it's a new robot designed to –"

Annie made a quiet comment to Voldy about Daleks, causing Voldy to squeak and hide behind Amy, who was further from Annie than the Doctor was.

"I'm shocked at you Annie!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"Says the man who ruined the so-called virgin queen's reputation," Voldy sniggered, "Naughty doctor."

"That was different" he replied, "We were married,"

"Still bad doctor," Voldy giggled, "one of my friends wanted to know if you were like that with Rose," she cackled as the Doctor turned red; the other RRA girls glared at Voldy who was trying, and failing spectacularly, to look innocent.

"I think you've been spending too much time around Jack, Voldy," Paula said seriously.

"Locking him in the shed maybe," Voldy replied, grinning.

"Anyway," Maple said before anyone could make any more strange comments, "Weapon. Spill."

"It will help us win the war," Churchill replied, a hint of pride in his voice as he lead the unconventional group to where the "weapon" was stored, "ladies and… gentleman… I give you, the robo-soldier!"

"I am your soldier," the Dalek said.

"Is that what I think it is?" Josie asked.

"If by that, Josie, you mean 'is that a Dalek in green camo paint with the UK flag underneath its eye?'" Voldy and the doctor replied, simultaneously, "then yes; that's exactly what it is,"

"Did they just do that?" Paula asked.

Voldy shrugged, "great minds," was all she said.

The RRA just shrugged and ignored the comment.

"They're nasty alien things," Maple stated to Churchill, "And you're using them as soldiers?"

"They will help me win the war,"

"Yeah," Voldy snorted, "That's like when Galloway went to pet that little Decepticon and it shot him in the head," she altered her voice so it was a high-pitched squeak, "'There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just an iPod!' BANG!" Churchill jumped and Voldy's voice reverted to its normal tone, "the iPod is running away, Maple, Paula and me trying to catch it and poor old Lennox left to deal with the paperwork."

"I always knew my iPod was really a Decepticon," Maple added.

"I had photographic evidence," Voldy grinned; "that was fun."

"I'm not going to ask," the doctor decided.

"Best not," Josie replied, "they've been going on like this ever since they saw the second transformers movie."

"That movie," Voldy giggled, "is awesome"

"Not when you three keep going on about it," Josie replied.

"I am your soldier" the Dalek said again; Voldy calmly went over to it.

"You have been charged with desertion," she told it.

"I am your soldier," it replied

"Kill yourself!" Deannie suggested; the Dalek turned towards her.

"The female is rude," it stated, "Exterminate!"

"If," Voldy put a hand over the Dalek's eye, "you don't want to die a slow and painful death I'd suggest you leave my sisters alone."

"Only one has a genetic similarity to yours," the Dalek replied, "I will exterminate the others,"

"Right!" Voldy ripped the eyepiece and weapons from the Dalek, "then we'll just have to torture you for a bit won't we?" she and the other RRA girls dragged the Dalek into their TARDIS. Tortured screams could be heard from the inside a few moments later. Voldy poked her head out of the door.

"Coming?" She asked, "there's enough room for an honorary member and I'm sure Churchill would like to see his robo-soldier in the… flesh, as it were," she sounded faintly disgusted, "And you, Doctor, might be interested to see the sorts of technology we've pinched from other universes since we last crashed into you… sorry about that by the way," she beamed and dragged them all into the purple box, giving them a grand tour of the whole thing before swinging a rather menacing-looking door wide open.

"And this," she announced grandly, "Is the torture room,"

"You have a torture room?" the Doctor asked.

"You don't?" the RRA responded; the Doctor noticed that the Dalek now strongly resembled a pincushion.

"What are you doing to the poor thing?" Amy asked, shocked at the calm way the RRA girls were ignoring the tortured screams of the Dalek.

"It's called first-hand voodoo," Voldy explained, "developed by the Chinese before the whole A.D thing that the priests got spectacularly badly wrong. We paid them a visit once when L.C was teaching Mysty how to drive the TARDIS and picked up more than just that idea."

It was then that everyone noticed the cats.

"Deannie's cat torture," Voldy grinned, "like Chinese water torture only more annoying because it's cats yowling all the time… very funny affects on Edwin, if I remember rightly."

"You do this often?" Amy asked.

"Oh yes," Voldy replied calmly, "we've got a few people who we keep permanently alive to torture all we like… I tend to test my potions on them most of the time."

"They must've done something very stupid," the doctor commented.

"Yeah, they did." Voldy cackled; "they decided to exist."

After a few more hours of torturing the Dalek, the RRA sent him back to his ship with a note pinned to his eye saying, "it's not just the Doctor you need to fear… sincerely, the RRA" before having to tape Voldy's mouth shut so she'd stop going on about transcendental engineering and time travel. After all; they all wanted to talk to the Doctor.

When everyone had lectured Churchill on the illnesses that smoking could cause and had caught Voldy (who had been freed by Maple), Paula and Maple, who had located the randoms crate and eaten several packets before running around crazily and setting fire to things, the RRA bid farewell to the Doctor, Amy and Churchill before departing, promising themselves that they'd get to Sherwood this time.

Knowing the RRA and their TARDIS driving skills, the Doctor severely doubted it.

…

Ta-da!!!!!!!!!! And yes, this was meant to be posted before Saturday afternoon. It's now checks 5 minutes to one in the morning of Saturday, which means it's 17 hours and 50 minutes until Doctor who! Yay!

Review! You know you want to!