What film do you want me to get? JW
I don't mind. You can choose. SH
Right, I'll get Iron Man 2 then. JW
Iron Man? SH
You'll like it. It's Robert Downey Jr. He's… He reminds me of you. JW
I much preferred it when you forced me to sit through an episode of Merlin, going on about how Colin Morgan reminded you of me. At least he wasn't fat. SH
Robert Downey Jr. isn't fat. He's gorgeous. JW
Since we seem to be on the topic of gorgeous actors, I would just like to say one thing: Martin Freeman. SH
Oh, come one. The naked dude from Love Actually? He's… flabby. Like he's made of marshmallows! JW
I like marshmallows. And flabby is not a correct term. Nor is it in any way accurate. SH
He is also a Hobbit. I like Hobbits too. You're rather a lot like a Hobbit. SH
I'm not a Hobbit! My feet aren't even hairy! JW
You must shave them. SH
I do not shave my feet. I shave my face, nothing else. And I am not that short! JW
Yes, you are. Maybe you are just an unhairy footed Hobbit. SH
I don't live in a dark hole in the ground and eat twelve times a day. So in conclusion: not a Hobbit! JW
You could be a Hobbit. You're just in denial. SH
I'm not in denial, Sherlock. Hobbits aren't even real, they're fictional. JW
Hobbits are possibly the cutest things. Ever. You cannot prove that they do not exist. SH
Hobbits are not the cutest things. The cutest things are, by far, otters. JW
Otters are ugly. Hobbits are cute. SH
disagree. JW
Then you are wrong. There are three cute things in the world: Hobbits, Martin Freeman, and hedgehogs. SH
Hedgehogs? JW
Obviously. SH
…We'll continue this conversation when I get home. JW