Unconditional Love:

(AU setting, 12 X Clara pairing)

When the Tardis lands in a vast underground complex beneath the surface of a frozen planet named Lorilia, the Doctor offers to help the workers who are constructing a prison world with their insect problem – and due to an error of judgement is bitten by a deadly Permafrost Ice Scorpion.

As the Doctor fights for life Clara is faced with the terrifying prospect of both losing him and being stuck beneath the icy surface of the bleak planet forever, and as she waits to discover the outcome she faces the fact that her feelings for the Time Lord run far deeper than she has ever dared to admit to him or to herself.

The Doctor survives, but Clara is told by chief medic Jace Earl that his recovery is uncertain – and there is a strong possibility the Doctor may never fully recover from the venom that has caused paralysis. When the Doctor tells Clara to use the Tardis to return to Earth without him, she reaches a turning point – and decides she will not be leaving the bleak underground facility without him.

As the Doctor becomes strong enough to continue his recovery away from the facility, Clara persuades him to leave with her in the Tardis, but the Doctor, still partially paralysed, is halfway through a long programme of treatment and his full recovery is still not certain, and it soon dawns on her that he needs a nurse - and she is not sure she can handle that task, because the Doctor is in a great deal of pain.

Then Jace Earl offers to travel with them, and promises to do all he can to help with the Doctor's recovery. But as the three of them leave together, Clara is in turmoil as she wonders if her best efforts will be enough to help the Doctor to full recovery – and she has still not told him how she truly feels, a matter made worse when it turns out Jace Earl is also hiding more than a secret or two...

Rated T

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, just love to write fan fiction!

Chapter 1

Clara sat alone in a starkly lit room where the walls were concrete just like the walls of the many tunnels beyond it. She tried not to think about the icy surface of the planet, or how far below the ground this complex lie – they were building a multitude of facilities here in this bleak place - living and working areas, factories, and on the other side of the complex, a vast prison for the worst offenders from the overflowing prison system on a nearby Earth colony planet.

She didn't want to think how far down she was, or how afraid she was for the Doctor, because both thoughts snatched away her ability to take in a proper breath.

Clara was afraid.

She drew in a sharp breath as fear reflected in her wide eyes and the events that had just unfolded played out again, like shards of recollection, but not the whole memory, because panic had blurred most of that:

They had landed in the complex below surface and the Doctor had seen no harm in taking a look around.

"This could be interesting," he had said.

Moments later they had met with some army officials overseeing construction work.

"I'm the Doctor and this is Clara," the Doctor had said as he made the introductions, and then the officer had told him of the trouble they had with a suspected rare nest in the wall.

They had said spiders.

The Doctor had said spiders too.

And then it had turned bad.

"Its harmless," the Doctor had remarked as he ran a finger down a wide split in the wall and wiped away a thick cobweb, "the ice scorpions that lived in the permafrost were wiped out when the foundations were laid for this complex."

And he had turned his head and looked at the man in charge.

"You wiped out a whole species, I hope you're proud of yourself."

"But the venom they carried was deadly!" the man had protested.

The Doctor had shook his head.

"No reason to kill them. I've met plenty of venomous people in my time but the human race is still thriving. The scorpions didn't need to be wiped out." He turned briefly to a soldier who stood close by.

"I'm ninety percent sure there are no dangerous creatures in here. If this nest contains scorpions they are the last of their kind, but that is unlikely and I'm willing to gamble on it. Put your flame thrower away, you've already destroyed an entire species!"

"Doctor...wait..."

He had turned and looked at her.

"Why are you looking so worried?" he had said to her, "Trust me, Clara, I know what I'm doing."

And then he had taken off his jacket and handed it to her and rolled up his sleeve.

"Be careful," she has whispered, and he had given a sigh.

"You're the one who takes care, remember? I don't need to."

And the Doctor had slid his hand into the gap, then pushed deeper.

Clara pulled back from the memory as she drew in another sharp breath and sweat ran down her face.

Her heart was racing and she didn't want to think about the Doctor dying or about the prospect of being stuck here in this underground complex beneath the surface of a frozen planet, miles from home forever – both prospects terrified her in equal measure.

Fear still reflected in her eyes, fear and shock as she shivered and her heart raced and it seemed with every breath the walls were closing in as what had happened next played over in her mind:

The Doctor had reached further inside.

Something had lashed out, the Doctor had staggered back, giving a sharp cry of pain as blood ran from a deep wound to his arm.

And then as he fell to the ground the man in charge barked orders, other workers prepared to rush the Doctor to sick bay while the soldier opened up the flame thrower and a burst of fire scorched through the cracked wall and something inside screeched...

She had looked down at the Doctor, on his back on the floor, his face as grey as his hair as he lay there motionless.

"Please don't die," she had said – or perhaps she had thought that, she could not recall if she had spoken aloud, but that had been the moment she had realised the man she loved was dying...

They had rushed him off to sick bay and she had hurried alongside him as he fought for breath and coughed and his grey complexion turned white. As he was taken through the doors of the emergency room his lips had turned blue.

And now she was alone in a tiny room, waiting for news...

It seemed like the kind of room they would put people in who were waiting for bad news.

The thought hit her again:

He could be dying.

She could lose him.

She might lose the man she loved.

She loved him and she had never told him...

She wasn't quite sure when she had fallen in love with the Doctor.

Perhaps it had been before he had changed, and then afterwards, she had got to know him again, and fallen in love all over again, and this time the love felt even deeper.

She had dated other guys and tried to put aside her thoughts of him that always came to her when she was home, while he was out there somewhere in time and space and she would wish for all the things that were out of her reach.

She had even told him once, in her own way – she had told him that he was her hero. It was the next best thing to an admission of love.

And now she was afraid she would never get the chance to tell him of what really lie inside her heart...

As she sat there she blinked away tears, knowing eventually someone would open that door and walk into the room.

It would not be the Doctor.

It would be a stranger, who would tell her news she was afraid to hear, because no matter what she was told, she knew it would not be the exact words she needed:

She wanted to be told that he was just fine, that he would be okay in a couple of hours. It was just a mild injury, nothing as bad as she had imagined, it had been worse than it looked.

And then the Doctor would walk into the room, say something about how she worried too much, thank her for looking after his jacket and then he would take it from her, put it on and tell her they were leaving.

That was all she wanted.

For the Doctor to walk in and be fine and for the both of them to go back to the Tardis and fly away, off into deep space where they would talk about what happened and she would poke fun at him for being so rash in his judgement and eventually he would see the funny side, and might even crack a smile.

That was what she wanted.

And it wasn't going to happen.

Clara still had his black suit jacket folded neatly on her lap. She looked down at it as she turned back the fabric and ran her hand over the red lining. That jacket carried the scent of the man and perhaps so much more – the Doctor's clothing was dark, smart and sensible, but that red lining... maybe it was there to remind him that he had another side, a secret dash of passion in his soul that his usually reserved self didn't let out very often.

She wondered if she would ever get to see that warm, passionate side of him, she had often thought she had seen a hint of it in his eyes, heard it in his voice...

No.

She cast that thought aside as she felt drenched in sorrow and understood the next time she saw him, he would most likely be dead.

Clara took in a slow, deep breath and closed her eyes as she tried to draw up her strength, because she was close to falling apart and she knew if she did she would be of no use to the Doctor, if the Doctor still lived to need a use for her...

"Please don't die," she whispered, and as she opened her eyes again she looked down at the jacket she held in her hands. She wanted to hug it close, to cry into it until her tears soaked through the black exterior and ran all the way through to the lining. But she knew tears could wait, because she was waiting and no matter how bleak the outcome seemed, until she knew for sure, desperation compelled her to hope.

She ran her hand over the pocket and felt something solid in there. She slipped her hand inside and ran her fingers over his sonic screwdriver, and then she hugged the jacket tighter, and a crazy thought came to her that if she was wrong about this and he walked in the door right now absolutely fine, he would not be happy to find out she had creased his immaculate jacket...

Clara smiled at the thought, then her heart ached and her smile was gone as she wondered how the hell she could smile about anything at a time like this.

She thought back to the day he had reminded her I'm not your boyfriend, and suddenly those words seemed to wound deeply, as if fate or life or destiny or whatever it was that really sorted the order of the universe was using her for a great big spiteful joke:

Find the Doctor.

Spread yourself through time and space to save him over and over.

Be his impossible girl, lose him to regeneration – and then get him back, with a new body and a new face and even a new voice, and fall in love with him even more deeply...and never get to tell him about it.

Was that the twist in the life of Clara Oswald?

Was she destined to spend the rest of her days here, trapped below the surface on a frozen planet, with the Doctor dead and gone?

None of this was fair.

Suddenly it seemed as if life could never be fair again, not if he was gone...

And then the door opened, and as she looked up her need to know was replaced with a sense of panic that made her want to put her hands over her ears and scream to drown out the truth, because she was about to find out; it was happening now and there was nowhere to run to escape from it...

The man who had entered the room was a little shorter than the Doctor, his build was quite heavy and from the stripes and insignia on his dark uniform she guessed he was a military doctor.

"Clara Oswald," he said, looking at her with dark blue eyes that carried either bad news or a natural tendency to carry intensity in his gaze, "I'm Dr Jace Earl, I'm the chief medic around here."

And he held out his hand, and Clara stared at it.

"But you can call me Jace," he added, "Hello? I'm up here?"

She was still sitting in the chair, looking at his hand but not reaching for it.

"Miss Oswald?" he said, softening his tone as he spoke again, "May I sit down? You look like this has all been a terrible shock."

She was still staring at him as he sat beside her.

She wanted to ask the question.

She wanted to know if the Doctor was alive or dead, but the words would not come.

Jace sat down in the chair next to her.

"Clara."

She blinked.

"Yes?"

That had come to her as a relief, she had finally found the courage to speak...

He was still looking at her intently.

"The Doctor pulled through, he's still with us."

She drew in a deep breath and as she let it out it seemed every muscle in her body let go of painful tension at the same time, and for a moment she wondered how she didn't just collapse and slide out of the chair, his words had just lifted a pressing weight from her chest that had made it almost impossible to breathe.

Tears stung at her eyes as she spoke up again.

"So...so he's okay? He's going to be fine, isn't he, tell me he is -"

"I can't say that, Clara. I don't make false promises."

The spark of hope that had just lit her eyes faded out, drenched dark by sorrow.

"How bad is it, then?"

Jace explained carefully, to be sure she took it all in.

"The venom of the permafrost ice scorpion is deadly in around eighty percent of cases. Of those who survive, most do not make a full recovery, and those who make a partial recovery sometimes never come off some degree of artificial life support. I'm saying the odds are against him, Clara. The venom is highly toxic and attacks the nervous system, it travels up the spinal cord."

Her eyes were wide as she stared at him.

"You're saying he might never get over this?" she said in a hushed voice.

"I'm saying, the odds are against a full recovery, but it is not impossible. He's not human, is he?"

She shook her head

"He's a Time Lord, from a planet called Gallifrey."

"That means nothing to me - but I do know from his scans that he has two hearts and a complicated cardiovascular system. Both his hearts arrested before treatment but we got them started again, and he's had a high dose of anti venom that seems to have stopped the progress of the venom in its tracks. Assuming he does survive, he is looking at a long recovery, he's going to need low dose anti venom injections daily for the next three months. At the end of that time, how ever he is, how far he has come in his recovery, will be as good as it is ever going to get."

Clara looked at him intently, trying to make sense of all he had said and still find something positive to cling to.

"So he could make a full recovery?"

"Possibly," Jace said cautiously, "But I don't want to give you false hope. If he pulls through the first twenty-four hours, he may recover to a degree – but its likely the paralysis could be permanent."

"Paralysis?" she said, her voice hushed as she stared at him in alarm.

"There is a strong possibility he may never walk again. I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything else because it will depend on how he responds to the anti venom. But we don't know what will happen next, all we can do is hope he gets through the next day – if he can make that twenty-four hours, he stands a good chance of survival. But he also needs to wake up, and all I can say on that is, the sooner the better. You can see him now, we've done all we can to make him comfortable."

He stepped back and Clara stood up.

"What do you mean?" she asked, "When he wakes up?"

"He's in a coma," he replied, "I can't say how long it will last. Come with me, I'll take you to him."

He was in a coma?

Clara followed Jace out of the room, and as she walked down the bleak hall towards a door at the end of the corridor she felt numbed by the shock of all he had told her...