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The Anxiety of Lian Harper
Lian's little heart continued to go pitter patter against her chest. Her eyes flushed with overt anxiety not common in a five year old. She bit her lower lip as she stared at the clock adorned on the kitchen wall. Only one thought was in her head.
He's late.
Yes, her daddy was late. Roy Harper, a.k.a. Arsenal, was late, and it scared the heck out of his little girl. You see, Lian's daddy is a superhero. He doesn't have any special powers like the Flash. He's not an alien from another planet like Superman. And he certainly doesn't come from an island of immortal Amazon women like Wonder Woman (although I'm sure he wishes he did). He's an archer, just like his surrogate dad, Green Arrow, and a bunch of others too.
Lian has grown up knowing the kind of danger her daddy gets in on a daily basis. She's watched him be brave and tough just like her Aunt Donna, Uncle Dick, Uncle Wally, and Uncle Gill-I mean, her Uncle Garth. She's very astute for a little girl. But that doesn't stop her from worrying. It never does. Looking up at that clock certainly isn't helping matters.
Now she's in the kitchen, pacing back and forth as her little imagination goes into overdrive with so many horrible things that could be happening to her daddy right now.
What if it's the Fearsome Five? Shimmer, her brother Mammoth, Gizmo, Psimon, Jinx, and Doctor Light. Not Doctor Light! Daddy used to say that he was a big stupid head who the Titans always beat up because he was silly. But then he got scary. Please don't let it be Doctor Light! He's not at all like the lady Doctor Light, and he almost hurt Mia and Uncle Ollie that one time! He could blind daddy!
But, but what if it's the Terror Titans? Cassie told me about them. They kidnapped Miss Martian and Kid Devil that one time, and they almost killed Rose! They, they say that the Persuader's axe can cut through anything. And that snake guy, Copperhead, what if he wraps himself around daddy and chokes him to death?
Or, or what if it's Rose's daddy, Deathstroke? Would he really try to kill daddy? He told me that he used to be a friend of the Titans. But, but he was the one who had that Terra girl spy on the Titans. Uncle Gar always gets sad when he thinks about Terra. I hope it's not Deathstroke. He's not a very good daddy.
Lian sighed as she tried not to look at the clock, but she did anyway. Time moves on, and still no daddy.
What if it isn't a bad guy who fought the Teen Titans? What if it's someone else? Like, oh no! What if daddy's fighting the Joker? And, and he sprays daddy with that yucky laughing gas and he won't be able to stop laughing?
Or, what if he has to fight Lex Luthor? He has so many weapons, there's no way daddy could stop him!
Wait, what am I saying? Of course daddy could! He can use any weapon! He could beat Lex Luthor in a jiffy and save Superman if he had too! And Superman would be so happy he'd invite daddy to join the Justice League, and we could live in that big space station on the moon!
She smiled a bit at the idea, now Lian was considering if her dad was late because he was helping someone. That's the kind of guy he is.
What if he stopped to help Aunt Donna? Maybe it's that ugly Dark Angel lady again. She once made everybody forget who Aunt Donna was. She's really mean! And daddy really likes Aunt Donna, so he'd really want to help her if it was stupid old Dark Angel.
Or maybe it's those Titans of Myth. They were kinda like Aunt Donna's aunts and uncles, but they weren't nice either. They killed her sister and made her forget about all her friends. I feel bad for Aunt Donna that she has such mean aunts and uncles, not like me. But I don't think she minds. She's got daddy, and Wonder Woman, and Uncle Dick, and everybody!
Or maybe he's with Uncle Wally. He's got the funniest super villains with such silly names! Weather Wizard, Peak-A-Boo, Captain Cold, Golden Glider. Oh, but, not all of them are funny. Like that creepy Murmur guy or that Zoom daddy once told me about. Or Gorilla Grodd! Gasp! Daddy said he used to EAT people. What if he's trying to eat daddy and Uncle Wally for dinner?! Eeewwwwwwwwww!!! Or, or what if he turned daddy into a gorilla?! Then I'd have a big monkey for a daddy.
(She already does)
But then, then we could live in the jungle with all the tigers and lions and elephants, and we could live in a tree like Tarzan! Oh, but I don't think daddy would like being a gorilla. None of his clothes would fit anymore, and I'd have to live with a naked gorilla daddy.
Hmm, I don't think he's with Uncle Garth. If he was, he'd probably be under the sea. But daddy can't breath under the sea, so Uncle Garth would probably have to give him gills. Or turn him into a mermaid. Wow! A mermaid! Like Ariel! Well, not exactly like Ariel, daddy's a boy. Wait, that's just silly. Daddy would probably put on scuba gear like those Sea Devil guys I once heard about. And what villain would they be fighting? Black Manta? Actually, now that I think about it, Uncle Garth and his daddy have got really silly super villains. Oh, but, what if it's Uncle Dick he's helping. Oh no. Uncle Dick and his daddy always go up against such scary villains. NONE of them are nice or funny, not even that crazy Harley Quinn. Oh I hope it's not Catwoman or Poison Ivy. What if daddy says the kinds of things he used to say to Aunt Donna when they were dating? No more daddy. Catwoman would probably feed him to a giant panther, or Poison Ivy could put him insider a giant Venus-Fly-Trap! Wait, does Catwoman even HAVE a giant panther? Where would she keep it?
Or, Two-Face! Yeah, he would tie daddy to a giant coin and flip it! He'd squash daddy like a bug! Or the Mad Hatter! He'd make daddy drink his tea with that nasty stuff in it and poison him! Or worse, he'd make him dress up like a character from Alice! Like the March Hare or the White Rabbit! And he'd force daddy to stay at his tea party forever and forever and I'd never see him again!
Lian tried to stiffle her tears as more nasty thoughts crept in.
What if he's in the sewers fighting Killer Croc? He'd be really stinking when he came home. Or what if his back's been snapped by Bane? He'd have to live in a wheelchair like Oracle! Eaten by Killer Moth? Frozen in a block of ice by Mister Freeze? Melted into a puddle by Clayface! Not that! Because then I'd have to carry daddy around in a cup for the rest of my life and be careful not to spill him or goodbye daddy!
But what if he's not helping them? What if he was kidnapped? Or taken someplace? What if Vandal Savage found him and is trying to steal his inside parts? What if Felix Faust turned him into a tree? I don't think I could leave with a tree for a daddy? He'd have too many squirrels and they can bite. What if the Brotherhood of Evil kidnapped him, took his brain out, and now the Brain is in my daddy's body and I'll have to carry daddy's brain around in a jar! Or what if the Brotherhood of Dada trapped daddy inside a painting, like they did with France? Or what if the Psycho Pirate is making daddy scared? Too scared to come home? Or what if the Fourth Reich has him, and Captain Nazi's gonna kill him just because daddy was raised by the Tachini tribe? Stupid Nazis! Leave my daddy alone!
Lian fumed at that thought.
What if he's on a top secret mission, with Rip Hunter and Booster Gold, and they've traveled back in time. My daddy could be fighting with the Shining Knight in Camelot! Riding on flying horses and fighting dragons and saving princess! Or what if he's a pirate? That'd be cool. A swashbuckling hero who fights on the seven seas, drinking rum and finding buried treasure, with Corsair the Pirate Queen as his girlfriend. But I don't think I want a pirate queen for a new mommy. Or, or what if he's in the Wild West, with Jonah Hex? Daddy's not a cowboy, he's an Indian. Or he could be in London with Sherlock Holmes and Watson! My daddy's a really good detective, he'd show that Sherlock who's Number One!
But, maybe he's not in the past, maybe he's in the future! He could be with the Legion of Super-Heroes, the ones Superman told me about. They have so many members, they even have one who can inflate into a ball! That's cool, but my daddy's cooler. But I wouldn't say that in front of Superman, they're his friends and I don't wanna be mean.
But why time travel? What if, what if he fell in a hole and he wound up on another Earth? He could be fighting the Crime Syndicate of America! Which would mean he would have to fight bad versions of himself and Uncle Dick and Aunt Donna and everybody! What if there's a bad version of me out there? What if he had to fight her? But there would also be a good version of mommy.
Lian's mother is none other than Cheshire, an assassin infamous for having blown up a small country called Qurac. She didn't live with Roy and Lian, nor had she married Roy.
Oh no, please. Don't tell me he's fighting mommy again. I hate when they fight, I hate it! I know mommy's done bad things, but she's my mommy. Please, please don't let it be mommy.
Or, if he fell in a hole and he's not on another earth, what if, what if he's in the bad place? You know. H-E-L-L. Daddy doesn't like it when I say it, but he says it a lot. He could be up against Neron and Etrigan. What if Neron tried to get Daddy to sell his soul? What if he got zapped by a Zeta Beam and he's with Adam Strange, or Uncle Hal and the Green Lantern Corps, fighting Sinestro or Krona or the Manhunters? Or he could be on Apokolips, and he could be fighting Darkseid! And the Green Lanterns are so impressed they give daddy an honorary Green Lantern ring. My daddy would make a cool Green Lantern, but green is Uncle Ollie's color.
Uncle Ollie! I almost forgot about him! What if he's with Uncle Ollie right now? What if they went on a road trip? No, daddy wouldn't forget me. Would he? Of course not. But, but what if he did? What if they crashed the car? What if they got hurt? What'll I do? What'll I do?!
Lian couldn't hold it in any longer and she started to cry. She put her face in her hands and started to sob as she sat on the kitchen floor.
Daddy, where are you?!
"I'm home!"
Lian looked up as she saw her dad come in through the front door, still dressed in super-hero attire.
"DADDY!"
And with that she ran into her dad's arms so fast he nearly fell on his back.
"Whoa! Easy, princess. What's wrong? Why're you crying?" He asked.
"I thought, I thought you weren't coming home." Lian said as she tried to wipe away her tears. She looked at the clock. "You're late."
Roy looked at the clock and felt bad, then he started to wipe away some of the leftover tears on his daughter's face and kissed her on the forehead.
"I'm sorry, etai yazi, I didn't mean to make you worry." He apologized.
"Where were you?" Lian asked.
"I would've been home sooner, but there was a line at the drive-thru."
He held up dinner for the two, a take-out bag from Big Belly Burger.
"Hungry? I even got you the toy." He said in a sing-songy voice.