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A Dean/Castiel fic.

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Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Supernatural.

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A/N: As I've been continuously adding to my list of Dean/Cas fics to write, this is/was number 23 on the list. I just can't get enough of this pairing ... that last episode was so hot! I must have squealed about a dozen times, and then quickly wrote down as many quotes as I could.

Anywhoo, this fic is a "missing scene" of sorts, just what I think could have happened when Cas started taking off his clothes (that was a squeal moment) and had the symbol carved on his chest.

As always, please read and review, I live for feedback!

Watching Castiel pull the tie off his neck had been more astounding - more arousing - than Dean cared to admit. But when he'd pulled the Exacto Blade out of his pocket and started in on his shirt buttons, Dean couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"What are you doing?"

Castiel glanced at him with near disregard before answering simply. "I am going to carve the sigil onto my chest to banish the angels in that room."

Dean and Sam both looked at each other at the same time with worried expressions.

"Have you done that before?" Sam asked the angel.

Castiel shook his head, continuing with the buttons on his shirt.

Dean shot his hand forward, halting the angel's actions. "Just stop for a minute," he requested. "What if this kills you?"

Castiel met Dean's eyes, telling him without words the same thing he'd said before.

He won't have to watch me fail. It hurt Dean more than he allowed himself to show that the angel felt so betrayed by Dean, had completely lost faith in him. He wished that he could explain that he had to do it, that he had to protect the world, protect Sam, protect Lisa and Ben and Bobby ... but the angel had stopped looking at him and removed Dean's hand from his clothes.

Castiel finally had all the buttons undone and removed the layers, placing the blade against his chest. He sliced it into his skin and began to cut, but then realized he was going the wrong way and tried to correct it, but he just made a bigger mistake. He sighed, pulling the knife away and waiting for his skin to heal so he could begin again.

"What's the problem?" Sam asked worriedly, shifting his feet and glancing at Dean.

Castiel answered, "I'm not used to doing this upside down ... I might need one of you to help me."

Sam looked between the other to, scratching the back of his neck. A few seconds later he started to take a step forward to accept the knife but Dean beat him to it, taking the office weapon from Castiel's grip. He forced himself not to ogle the angel's bare chest and refused to let himself reach out and touch - no, caress - it. He took a breath, purposefully not meaning the angel's eyes as he crouched a bit and touched the metal to the angel's skin, reaching out with his other hand and holding the angel's waist. For balance, he told himself.

Shaking his head slightly, Dean put more pressure on the blade, digging it into the skin and carving the sigil he'd quickly memorized.

He could feel the angel's gaze boring into him but he refused to look up until he finished, feeling sick at what he had done. Once the symbol was complete he stood back up, holding the knife out to the angel and finally meeting his eyes.

Castiel looked at it mildly before turning to slide on his clothing once more. "I don't need it anymore," Castiel told him.

Dean nodded, pocketing it himself and squirming on the inside while Castiel buttoned up his shirts again.

Sam cleared his throat, gaining their attention. "How long do you think it'll take?" he asked.

Castiel considered the question. "No more than a couple minutes." His eyes flickered towards Dean once before he made a beeline for the door.

"Wait," Dean spoke, stalling him in his tracks. He turned to his brother. "Sam, can you give us a minute?"

Sam eyed Dean knowingly for a moment before nodding and giving them some space, saying he'd check the perimeter.

Dean watched him walk away before turning back towards Castiel.

"Make it fast, Dean," Castiel said, looking away from him.

Dean sighed, moving so that he was right in front of the angel, making him look at him. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Castiel didn't respond.

"I know you don't get it, and you hate me and all, and I've let you down in probably the worst possible way, but I am sorry. I just don't see any other way to end this. I can't let what I saw in the future happen, Cas," Dean told him.

Castiel glared at him. "You're working under the assumption that what Zachariah showed you in the future was actually real. For all we know, he made it all up just to get you to say yes. Most likely, that was only one possible interpretation of the future given the path you were on then."

Dean shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Cas. I have to stop it. And this is the only way I can see that has a chance at saving at least half of the world."

"And destroying the other," Castiel countered. "You might be able to pick and choose a handful of people that get to live, but the people that die won't all be bad, Dean. Good people are going to die, and you're just going to give in to that. I didn't pull you out of hell for you to do that."

Dean shook his head, looking at the angel with defeat in his eyes. "Then you shouldn't have pulled me out at all."

Castiel looked steadily at Dean, reading his mind and knowing he meant what he was saying, but he wanted to hear it straight from him. "Do you actually mean that? You would rather be in hell, tearing people to shreds and being Alastair's bitch?"

Dean quirked his eyebrows at that but replied, "It would be what I deserve. I mean, you brought me back, and I still couldn't stop Sam from killing Lillith ... I couldn't stop any of this." He sighed, putting his hand on his head and brushing it through his hair. "Look, I'm not trying to turn this into some self-pity speech. I wish things were different, but they aren't. I'm sorry that I've made you lose faith in me, I really am. But in case something happens to you, I want you to know ... when I swore my allegiance to the angels, I wasn't swearing to them, or god ... I was swearing myself to you, to follow you. And if I thought that we had a plan that could actually work, I would keep following you," Dean told him honestly.

Castiel realized that he wasn't the only one who had lost faith in the person they'd depended on so much, and he dropped his head. "I'm sorry."

Dean shook his head, wanting to tell the angel not to apologize to him, but before he could speak Castiel stepped forward, brought his hand to the back of Dean's head and pressed lips to Dean's forehead. Dean's eyes drifted closed of their own accord, feeling the warmth from the angel seeping through him.

A second later Castiel was gone, and Dean opened his eyes slowly. He hadn't been able to return the action, hadn't been able to ask him why he'd done it ... he just stood there watching the door close and heard Sam walk back up behind him, ready to go in once the angel had dealt with the others in the room.

"You okay?" Sam asked him and Dean nodded slowly, telling himself that if any of them made it out of this, he would be having a serious conversation with his angel.

The end.

Another short one, but I hope you guys liked it.

Reviews are appreciated, flame if you must, but constructive criticism is much more useful.

Until next time ...!