Redemption

(Reflections - Present)

Part One

She had thought that once everything had returned to normal, her heart might know peace. However, regardless of the fact that the darkness no longer overshadowed her every waking moment, Lightning couldn't let the past several centuries go. She had fought for so long, at the very end of the world and time, trying to prevent the destruction of humanity, to almost having to face an eternity trapped inside Chaos with Bhunivelze. That should have been her punishment, the price for her part in the releasing of Chaos and the ending of humanity.

Bhunivelze wasn't dead; how long Caius Ballad could contain him inside the darkness was anyone's guess, and the thought of another battle, of losing everything she had fought for... it was too much. And suddenly, like so many times before, he was there, blocking the shadowy nightmares. Once, a long time ago, she had tried to resist their connection, the threads that bound them together, but it was that bond that had enabled her to endure the impossible. Light truly hated the darkness, and that too disappeared at the flipping of a switch, her silent protector always coming to her rescue. Had she always needed saving?

"Stop," he growled, his familiar voice reaching through her mind-numbing terror. A strong, but gentle touch brushed against her cheek, a calloused thumb wiping aside the tears she hadn't realized were falling. Why was she crying again? Was that all she did anymore? Light turned her face into the palm of his hand, the agony of the past overwhelming her. If she had kept on fighting, she would have had no time to feel the pain eating away at her soul.

She wanted to say that she was strong enough to let him go, to allow things to return to the way things had been, but she couldn't and the sigh of irritation was her only warning before he selfishly claimed her lips, biting just hard enough to get her to open her mouth and allow him to consume her in a storm of determined possessiveness. This was the side only Light knew, their cursed immortality a burden they both shared. She knew if she didn't stop him now, where this would head, and like several times before, in their long past together, she was powerless against anything he wanted from her. Sensing her struggle to regain her control, he simply shoved her back, his heavier weight pinning her down. They all had choices, and in the end, she was his.

'Serah...' he heard her whisper in his mind.

'...chose Noel.' Very reluctantly, he pulled back, forcing himself to breathe in and out before rolling to the side and pulling her close, surrounding her with the strength she had come to rely on. She was exhausted, but Light feared the darkness and the nightmares that would soon follow. "Go to sleep," he gently demanded.

"I can't," she said, shaking her head back and forth. She was terrified of closing her eyes, hating herself that she couldn't hide it from him; hating herself that she couldn't hide it from herself either. Where had her tight resolve gone; where was the cold and emotionless Soldier girl? Or had she ever really existed? Grasping her chin, his arm firmly wrapped around her shoulders, he forced her to look into his eyes. He couldn't help himself, and kissed her again, his thumb holding her bottom lip as he nipped at it, and then lapped away the sting with his tongue.

He had loved this woman for as long as he could remember, and he'd probably continue to do so long after tonight. Why couldn't she see that she felt the same? He had to show her, and that was the only reason that caused him to end their kiss, to not take it to the next level. This wasn't about a quick fling, a sating of urges... He wanted all of her, and he'd have her, mind, soul, and then her body.

"I've got your back, Light. Go to sleep." He had always had her back, ever since the very beginning. The nightmares had started long before the Purge, but it was after the Purge that she had been incapable of closing her eyes without seeing the color red. Why, after everything she had done, had he persisted on fighting and waiting for her?

Touching their foreheads together, "I could tell you the answer, but you're not ready for it. Go to sleep," he whispered, tucking her as close as he could get her, shielding her from the world and herself.