First Bleach fanfiction, hope you like it!
"Hello minna (everyone)! Today for your entertainment, we have Kurosaki Ichigo-san, Shi- Kurosaki Issan-san, Inoue Orihime-san, Sado Yasutora-san, Ishida Uryu-san, Ishida Ryuken-san, and the not so preppy host, me!"
"So, we're for your entertainment?" Ichigo mumbled.
"What were you going to call me? Oh! I want to hug you!" Kurosaki-san exclaimed.
"Not preppy, huh?" Karin rolled her eyes.
Orihime waved happily while Chad, Uryu, and Ishida-san just sat there, being emotionless.
"Yes, you're for everyone's entertainment. You should know that by now!" I scolded Ichigo. "And I didn't say anything, Kurosaki-san. *cue whistling* And no, I'm not preppy. Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay this cheerful and smiley the entire show? Come on, let's get this over with, my face is hurting!"
"So, minna! My name is Thorn D. Cinni. Nice to meet you!" I said while looking at the readers. Then I turned to look at the "toys". "Please call me Cinni-chan. Okay?"
"Hai." Ichigo grumbled.
"Hai, Cinni-chan!" Orihime said enthusiastically. Everyone else just stayed quiet.
"Okay... so the Million Dollar Question is... *cue drumroll* How are Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu even part human? Karin-chan can barely see souls and Yuzu-chan can't see them at all!"
"What?" Ichigo looked irritated. "Why such a stupid question? Karin and Yuzu can't see souls well, what's the bug deal?"
I sweatdropped. "Ichigo-san... did you just say bug deal? And to answer your question. It isn't a big deal. It's just that many people are interested.
"Now, everyone! When you have an answer, please press the button."
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"Oh? An answer already? Okay, go... huh? Ichigo-san?"
"Yes, it's me, now let me answer!"
"Hai, hai. Go right ahead, Ichigo-san!"
"Well, wasn't this already explained during the story? Dad was a Shingami and mom was a human."
"That is in-"
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"You should let me finish!" I exclaimed angrily. "Fine, go ahead Goat Face."
"Hey! Only I call him that!"
"Ciiiiiinnnnnniiiiii-channnnnnn! Why so mean?" Kurosaki-san pouted and started crying.
"JUST GO!"
"Okay. I'm just going to correct Ichgio because I have no answer."
"Yes?" I urged.
"Masaki wasn't human. She was a full-blooded Quincy."
"That's correct! I was going to tell Ichigo that." I huffed. "Who's next?"
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"Orihime-chan!"
She looked up from her button. "Um... I was just playing with the button. I don't have an answer." She smiled brightly at me.
I shook my head. This was getting nowhere.
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'Who is it this time' I thought.
"Sado-san!" I smiled. He wouldn't say anything weird right?
"You just tore your shirt." He said.
I fell to the ground, completely speechless. Then, I crawled into a corner and cried, ignoring my "torn" shirt.
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"I don't care anymore!" I yelled, while covering my face.
"Thorn-san, there are still people reading. Get back over here." A voice said.
I looked up. Who had the nerve to call me by that name? I told them to call me Cinni-chan. Then, I realized who spoke. "Right! Let's get back to the show. It's your turn, Ishida-san!"
He shook his head, muttering about female mood swings.
"Masaki was a pure-blooded Quincy, and that idiot Isshin was a full Shinigami. It is not possible for Ichigo to be part human at all."
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"Uryu-san!"
"I'm contradicting. Yuzu can't see souls. Karin has just began seeing them. They must be part human."
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"Huh? Everyone already-"
"It is logic! There is no way the three Kurosaki children are part human." Ishida-san argued.
"I'm not a child!" Ichigo protested.
"Maa maa, minna. Calm down."
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BONK
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BOOM
BANG
CLANG
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"CALM DOWN!" I screamed, the preppy attitude finally wearing off. "I need to finish the story. Get back into position before I kill each and every one of you. And I mean it." You could feel the anger rolling off.
Everyone stopped and went back to their spots.
"So," I growled. "Anyone have a formal answer?"
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"Please go, baka-Strawberry." I said
"Don't call me that! Just Mashiro is enough." Ichigo-san sighed. "Bleach has no logic. It is not possible..."
I laughed. "Your correct, it doesn't have any! Whatever, let's just end this by saying you are right."
Ichigo smirked. Everyone else groaned.
"Hey minna, what's wrong?"
"We bet one million dollars he wouldn't win."
I sweatdropped.
"Ichigo-san is going to be rich."
He smirked.
Behind the Scenes
"So, Ichigo-san, can I have half your money?" I asked. "I did let you win, like you asked me to."
"Fine." He said, as he handed the money over. "But, it wasn't like there was a right answer, so technically I was still right.
"Nope!" I grinned while wagging a finger at Ichigo.
He scowled. "You said that you aren't naturally preppy, I don't believe you."
I stuck out my tongue at him. "You're just jealous you don't know the answer~" I said in a singsong voice.
"Then, just say it, you preppy freak."
I shuddered at the aura given off.
"Well, you're dad was in a gigai. In other words, he was human."
Ichigo stared at me incredulously.
"It was that simple?! Then, how did Ishida's dad not get it? He's a doctor!"
"Well, I'm the author of this story and I didn't think of it until the edit. Duh."
"What edit?"
"This entire scene was added after I read 'Everything but the Rain' again. And, I just wanted some of your money." I held up a victory sign. Ichigo sweatdropped.
"You are one manipulative freak."
"You're talking to me about this when you have Kisuke-san and Aizen? And, you haven't met Byakuran either."
"Fine, then. I don't care. Ja ne (See ya)."
"Oh, did I mention I know close to nothing about Biology? I'm just starting to learn it this year!"
Outside the door, Ichigo heard this and scowled. Thorn D. Cinni is an insane, stupid, little child.
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"I'm not a child!" I yelled.
So, how was that? That question has been bothering me for a while now.
Curse it! I didn't even reach one thousand words... how could I?
Just so you know... I'm really not over-cheerful like that at all... I can write myself like it though! I did a good job making myself sound like an idiot, right?
Please review~
edited: 6/3/14
I finally got my answer! Wow, when I read this again, I still sound like an insane idiot. (I still kinda am.)