Roxanne has been watching the other three kids for fifteen minutes, making notes in the notebook that she brought to the park with her. They're playing some sort of superhero game, she's pretty sure; the one in the white shirt has been running around, chasing the other two: a blue boy with an oversized head and a fish in a spindly robotic body.
She'd wanted to ask to play, too, but she'd known the answer she'd get: girls can't play. Or even worse: you can't play.
Other kids don't like her very much, Roxanne knows. They get mad when she tells them they've got something wrong, tell her that she's too bossy.
So she hadn't asked to play with the three kids.
She's playing anyway, though, sort of—she's watched a lot of Superman; Lois Lane is the best. Roxanne is pretending to be a journalist, reporting on the superpowered battle. That way, it doesn't matter if the other kids don't pay attention to her. They won't have to include her, this way. They don't even need to know that she's playing.
(Roxanne thinks maybe the blue kid does know what she's doing, though; she's seen him watching her.)
The robot-fish kid takes off running in one direction; the blue kid in another. Robot-fish makes it to the underneath of the tall slide—they've been using that as 'base'; Roxanne's decided it's the Evil Lair.
The kid in the white shirt runs after the blue kid; Roxanne's pretty sure that was the blue kid's plan, from the way he glances repeatedly at the robot-fish kid until he makes it to base.
Roxanne makes a note in her notebook.
White-shirt kid is almost on blue-kid; he's got a handful of pebbles in his pocket and is trying to pelt blue-kid with them.
"Eye lasers!" White-shirt says, throwing another pebble.
Blue-kid laughs and dodges the pebbles, rounding the swing set, cutting close to the see-saw, where Roxanne's sitting alone.
"Innocent bystander!" the blue kid shouts, and grabs her hand, pulling her to her feet, and then in front of himself.
He's holding her lightly enough that Roxanne could break free easily; it's really the surprise that stops her from doing it.
"You should have run when you had the chance!" the blue kid says to Roxanne.
White-shirt kid throws another pebble, but it goes wide. Blue-kid laughs and Roxanne, surprised, laughs, too.
A sudden look of rage comes across the face of the kid in white; he picks up a rock—not a pebble, this time; it's a lot bigger, and throws it with great force at Roxanne.
She doesn't have time to flinch; the blue kid twists them around and the rock collides with his head instead of Roxanne's face. He falls, letting go of her.
An expression of fear and surprise flashes in the face of the kid in white; he moves quickly to stand over the blue kid.
"…ow," the blue kid says, sitting up with a wince. There's a bruise coming in on his temple, already, purple against the blue.
"I win," says White-shirt, looking relieved and covering it up with a triumphant expression.
"What is wrong with you?" Roxanne demands, smacking him with the notebook.
The blue kid is rising to his feet; Roxanne helps him up.
"Thanks," he says, looking surprised.
"Thank you for not letting me get hit in the face with a rock," Roxanne says, with spiteful emphasis.
White-shirt folds his arms, turning red and frowning.
"She's not even playing," he says.
That comment strikes home; Roxanne feels herself flush, her stomach twisting.
"Yes, she is," the blue kid says quickly, his eyes on her face. "She's the damsel in distress. There has to be a damsel in distress."
"Is it time-out, now?" asks the robot-fish kid, peeking out from under the slide.
"Syx," the kid in white whines.
"It's Megamind," the blue kid says, drawing himself up and striking a villainous pose. "Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!" He drops the pose. "Only it's Syx, really," he says to Roxanne. "And this is Metro Boy," he says, pointing at the kid in white who's still pouting. "His name is Wayne, actually. And this is my minion."
The robot-fish waves one of his metal hands.
"His name really is Minion," Syx says. "What's your name?"
"Roxanne," she says. "Roxanne Ritchi. I'm a reporter, though, not a damsel in distress." She brandishes her notebook.
Syx grins, looking delighted.
"You can be both!" he says. "Like Lois Lane!"
Roxanne, who had been opening her mouth to argue, closes it at the mention of Lois Lane.
"I don't want her to play with us," Wayne says.
Roxanne glares at him.
"I do," Syx says. "Minion does, too; don't you, Minion?"
Minion, who had been making a flower chain out of the dandelions that grow by the see saw, jumps, surprised.
"Oh! Um—yes!" he says.
"So that's two against one," Syx says, "And I'm not playing unless Roxanne plays."
Wayne looks like he might argue more, but then Syx's chin goes up and Wayne throws his hands in the air in defeat.
"Fine," he says, with bad grace.
"Okay, you take me to jail, then," Syx says. "And then Miss Ritchi will do a post-rescue interview with you."
Wayne perks up just slightly.
"The jungle gym should be the jail," Roxanne says. "Since the bars look like prison bars."
"Ooh, yes!" Syx says excitedly.
(He escapes from the 'jail' during Roxanne's interview with Wayne, and then he captures her and has her lie down underneath the swing set while he pushes the swings back and forth above her—they're blades, swinging closer and closer to her, he says.)
They play the superhero game every day that summer; sometimes with other kids and sometimes by themselves. One of the days when there are other kids, Syx blends the game with freeze tag—he's got a freeze ray, he proclaims, and Wayne has to melt the ice on each of the 'innocent bystanders' with his laser vision to un-freeze them, and then make it to the merry-go-round in time to save Roxanne, who is being 'permafrozen' from the feet slowly upwards.
(Wayne makes it, but only because Syx counts extra slowly.)
All of the other kids like Wayne; he's the one they ask to play with. But it's Syx who thinks up all the plots for the superhero game, Roxanne notes.
And even when there are lots of 'innocent bystanders', the only one Syx ever pretends to kidnap is Roxanne.
Once the school year starts, it's harder; Syx and Wayne and Minion all go to a different school than Roxanne. But Roxanne's mother is relieved enough at her daughter having friends not to protest too much about the fact that they're all boys, and so they still get together on the weekends to play the game.
They dress up as their characters for Halloween. Minion's robot body gets added buttons and gears and big hairy shoulder pads. Wayne's mother special orders a superhero outfit for him, white and gold, with a big M on the front of it and a cape with a fluffy collar. Minion makes Syx a uniform, too, in blue and black, with a lightning bolt sewn to the front of it. Roxanne gives him an old costume cape of hers, from when she dressed up like a vampire one year.
She wears her most professional looking outfit: a brown skirt and a white button-up shirt, and she carries a microphone that she made out of a plastic ice-cream cone, from her old toy kitchen set.
The four of them finish trick-or-treating early and then play a game where Syx steals all of their candy and Wayne has to save it and rescue Roxanne. Then they stuff themselves on candy and laugh together until almost midnight.
The next summer, Roxanne's dad has moved into an apartment building near the lakefront; the four of them play the superhero game on the shoreline, mostly, where there are less kids to join in. That's okay with Roxanne, though, and she wears her bathing suit almost every day that summer.
"It's not fair," Roxanne says, wiping furiously at her tears. "I don't want to move to stupid Wisconsin!"
"You'll come back this summer," Syx says.
"But what if I can't; what if they won't let me?" Roxanne says, hating the fact that she's still crying, that she's crying again. She's so angry, but all she can do is cry.
"They'll have to let you," Wayne says.
"Your dad has partial custody, remember," Minion says, handing her a tissue.
"He doesn't even want me," Roxanne says. "He's just letting her take me; he doesn't even care—"
"They'll let you come back," Syx says. "Or—or Megamind—will just have to come to Wisconsin and kidnap you."
Roxanne gives a watery laugh through her tears, surprised and half-unwilling.
"Promise?" she asks, voice wobbly.
"Promise," Syx says.
Roxanne throws her arms around him, then reaches out to pull Minion and Wayne into the hug, too.
The superhero game changes after that, by necessity. It's Syx who suggests the new format: they each take turns at writing a story in one of Roxanne's notebooks, and they mail it back and forth.
Minion's stories are usually short, and he struggles with spelling, but the plot of the story is always well thought out. Wayne's stories focus mostly on the fighting, and on things getting destroyed—there's a lot of comic-book-y "Zap!" "BAM!" "Woooosh" type of stuff. Syx's stories have blueprints of the doomsday devices and deathtraps in the margins, and usually a drawing of the four of them, as their characters, at the end.
Roxanne types hers up like newspaper clippings and pastes them in the notebook.
She does get to come home that summer, and they get to actually play again, the old way. It's—well, it's a little weird at first; they're thirteen now and Roxanne feels sort of silly running around pretending to be a damsel in distress. But it's hard to be uncomfortable in the face of Syx's sheer enthusiasm, though, and pretty soon Roxanne forgets how old she is and is able to throw herself into the game again.
When she goes back to Wisconsin, they go back to mailing stories back and forth.
"Don't you think you might like to go out with some friends?" Roxanne's mother asks, a little desperately.
"My friends are in Metro City," Roxanne says flatly. "I'm going to the library to print this off."
"She doesn't get it," Roxanne says later, on the phone with Syx. "Just because she was—miss homecoming queen here, she thinks I should be happy here, too."
"I'm sorry," Syx says, and Roxanne presses the phone close to her ear.
"It's okay," she says. "I'll be okay. Tell me what you're planning for the next part of the game."
Syx laughs.
"Nosy reporter," he says. "I will tell you, though. I'm thinking of having Megamind ask Miss Ritchi to be Evil Queen."
Roxanne feels herself flush hot, for no apparent reason.
"Wh—really?" she asks.
Syx hums in agreement.
"I actually did want to ask you about it," he says. "I wanted to know what you thought her answer would be. I mean, it's no, obviously, but—what sort of a reaction do you think? Is she offended? Amused?"
"Uh…" Roxanne says, "…weirdly flattered?"
"Really?"
"Yeah," she says, winding the phone cord around her finger, "but she's not going to let him see that, of course. So she probably acts like it's just ridiculous. Wait, how does he ask her?"
"'A mind as brilliant as yours is wasted on Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes,'" Syx says, his voice dropping into the sly, smooth tone he uses sometimes when he's playing Megamind. "'Won't you let me make you my Evil Queen, Miss Ritchi? The two of us, working together, could conquer this city within a week; you know I'm right.'"
Roxanne feels herself blushing again, but she draws herself up, straightening her spine, the persona of Miss Ritchi falling over her, easy and comfortable.
"'Oh, please, Megamind,'" she says, in her Miss Ritchi voice (it's clearer, more certain than Roxanne's own), "If I wanted to rule this city, you'd just be dead weight.'"
Six laughs, clearly delighted.
"'You're just trying again to get me to tell you Metro Man's weakness. Give it up, Megamind; it's never going to work.'"
"'So there is a weakness,'" Megamind's voice says, and she can almost see him, smirking at her wickedly.
"'If you say so,'" Miss Ritchi says, in a voice that clearly indicates she's just humoring him.
"Ooh, I like this," Syx says. "Just a second, let me get a pen—okay! Okay, let's keep going. So then he says…"
They play the game the real way that summer again.
Wayne can't write as often, the next year; Syx ends up taking some of his turns. He doesn't just come up with stories, now; he's building a whole language and mythology for Megamind's planet.
(it's not anything from Syx's actual planet; Roxanne asks.)
"What's this?" Roxanne's girlfriend asks, pulling the latest superhero game notebook from beneath Roxanne's pillow and flipping through it.
Roxanne violently represses the urge to tear it out of her hands and stuff it back in its hiding place.
"Um, it's—just a game that me and some of my friends back hom—uh, back in Metro City—play," Roxanne says vaguely.
Sara raises her eyebrows.
"This is a game?" she says. "This looks—way too complicated. Who is Megamind?"
"Nobody!" Roxanne says. "It's—it's just the character that Syx plays."
Sara's face goes stony, the way it does, sometimes, when Roxanne mentions Syx.
"Ah," she says. "Syx. So that's what's with this."
She turns to notebook so Roxanne can see what she's pointing to: a sketch of Alte-re, and Alte-re's constellation, with a description of the goddess.
Roxanne flips the notebook shut pointedly.
"It's not a big deal," she says.
"He likes you," Sara says.
"We're friends; I told you," Roxanne says. "It's not like that."
"He invented a religion based on a group of freckles on your hip," Sara says flatly.
Roxanne puts the notebook down on her desk, puts a book on top of it.
"That's just the way Syx is," she says. "He gets preoccupied with weird details; it doesn't mean anything."
"Rox—"
Roxanne kisses her to make her shut up, and thankfully Sara doesn't bring the subject up again.
(that night, at least)
The thing with Sara is practically over, by the time Roxanne's mother (and Sara's mother) find out about it.
And it was never really that big of a deal anyway; the two of them always knew it was just a matter of convenience, really, that the two of them happened to be the only girls who like girls in the whole town.
(Sara calls herself a lesbian; Roxanne doesn't, and she and Roxanne fight about that, too, about Roxanne being bisexual. Sara insists that Roxanne's just fooling herself, trying to play both sides.)
Anyway.
Their parents find out about it, and suddenly it's a huge deal, a scandal practically on a scale with Romeo and Juliet, which is dumb and ridiculous.
Roxanne does tell Syx, Minion, and Wayne, when they ask her why her mom sent her to live with her dad. She's all set to argue the bisexual thing yet again, but she ends up not needing to. Wayne looks a little awkward for a moment, but Minion just nods and Syx—
"I think I might be, too," Syx says.
"What, really?" Roxanne says.
Syx shrugs.
"Boys and girls are equally aesthetically pleasing, yes?" he says.
"…yeah," Roxanne says.
There's a short silence.
"Okay, so are we gonna play the game, now, or what?" Wayne asks.
So that's…a thing.
Roxanne finds herself watching Syx extra closely, finds herself scrutinizing his interactions with other girls and with boys, trying to see if he stares at anyone, if he seems…interested.
Syx comes over to her house one day unexpectedly, and sits cross-legged on her kitchen table, an odd expression on his face. Roxanne watches him as she works on her homework, wondering if she should ask what's bothering him.
"Wayne tried to kiss me," Syx says abruptly.
Roxanne very nearly snaps her pen in half, a sudden wave of anger/jealousy/possessiveness rushing through her.
"Tried?" Roxanne hears herself ask, as if from a distance.
"I dodged away," Syx says. "And. And also maybe sort of screamed."
"…and now you're regretting it?" Roxanne finds herself asking, wanting to scream herself.
"Well, I'm thinking the screaming was probably an overreaction," Syx says miserably. "He looked really upset and now I feel bad. But I don't like him like that and I feel like I should apologize. For that. Maybe. And also for screaming. I was just—I was just caught off guard! We were just talking and then all of a sudden there was leaning and—and looming and leaning and I didn't know what was happening!"
Syx gives her a look of frantic despair.
"…okay," Roxanne says, feeling numb with relief.
"Will you come with me so I can apologize?" Syx asks.
Things are rather fantastically awkward between the four of them, after that. It's slightly better, when they're playing the game, when Wayne forgets to be upset and throws himself into the game. Even so, though, the battles between Metro Man and Megamind are a little more violent than they used to be.
"Maybe we should play around a table," Roxanne suggests. "You know, like people do for D&D?"
Minion makes a noise of agreement.
"Yeah, whatever," Wayne says.
Three months later, he gets a boyfriend, which—on the one hand, it's good that he's over his crush on Syx, but on the other hand, it really cuts into the time for the superhero game.
They work around it, though, and in another month, when Wayne and his boyfriend break up, things are back to almost normal between the four of them.
The table stays their new normal, though.
Roxanne doesn't like Hal Stewart. At all. He's basically the worst.
Unfortunately, he's also the only person Roxanne knows who has both a camera and a video editing system.
Roxanne smiles into the camera and does her best to ignore Hal behind it.
"This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from downtown Metro City," she says.
"That's so cool, that game thing," Hal says later, handing her the VHS tape. "Maybe I could play with you guys sometime?"
Roxanne hands him a ten dollar bill and forces a laugh.
"Uh, yeah, maybe, that'd be—fun," she says, not meaning it.
It's all so very worth it, though, when she plays the VHS tape for Syx, on his birthday, when she watches his face light up.
"Guys," Wayne says, fidgeting uncomfortably, "I don't think I can make it to the game this week…"
"Again?" Roxanne says. "Wayne—"
"Been practicing a lot with the band lately, you know," Wayne mumbles, "and there's football and—"
(Roxanne resists the urge to roll her eyes. Wayne's 'band' is the most terrible garage band in the history of the universe. No amount of practice is going to change that.)
"—and don't you think that we're a little old to be doing this?" Wayne says.
"Too—too old?" Syx says.
"But it's fun," Minion says.
Wayne fidgets even more uncomfortably and doesn't answer.
"Okay, so let's do the notebook thing again for a while," Syx says. "Until your band—gets on its feet and you're able to come to game night!"
The next story that Wayne writes, Metro Man dies.
Roxanne is furious; Minion is angry, too—how could Wayne do something like that without asking them, first? They've always discussed any big developments before they get put down in the notebook! And now all of a sudden Metro Man's weakness is copper (copper, seriously?) and Metro Man is dead.
Syx is distraught.
"But I didn't want to kill him!" he says. "Megamind didn't want to kill him, not really; he wasn't supposed to die—"
"It's okay," Roxanne says. "It's okay, Syx; shh—it's—it's just a game. It's not real, it's just a game."
Syx's hands tighten into fists. He takes a shaky breath and wipes away his tears.
"And maybe Wayne is right," Roxanne says, "maybe we're done with it, yeah? We're not kids anymore; maybe we've outgrown this…"
Syx goes perfectly still for three seconds.
"No," he says, "No, no no—I can fix this; I can fix it, I can. You—the guy, the one with the camera, the one who said he wanted to play—"
"Hal?" Roxanne asks, making an involuntary face.
"Yes! Yes, Hal Schtewart," Syx says (and she can tell he's still upset, by the mispronunciation; Syx's words start to slip when he's really emotional). "Do you think he'd—still be willing to play?"
And Roxanne hates Hal; he's creepy and she doesn't like him at all, but she looks into Syx's anguished eyes and she finds she can't say that.
"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, I'll ask him."
Hal sucks.
Oh, it's not that he isn't enthusiastic about the game; he is—he even includes little sketches of his own, costumes and things like that.
The problem is that he's terrible at playing with other people. He doesn't have a grip on characterization, and he won't listen.
"She wouldn't say that," Roxanne points out, and Hal writes it anyway.
"Megamind…wouldn't do that," Syx says, and Hal writes it anyway.
"Megamind's Minion isn't quiiiite that stupid," Minion says, with a forced smile, and Hal writes it anyway.
He actually makes Roxanne not want to play the game, and that is—frankly, unacceptable.
"And now Roxy kisses Tighten. 'Oh, Tighten; I'm just so happy!' Oh! Oooh! They should totally get it on at the top of Metro City Tower; that would be soooo hot—'"
"Yeah, no, that's not happening," Roxanne says flatly. "I'm not roleplaying a sex scene with you, Hal. Miss Ritchi pushes him away."
"What?" Hal says, looking genuinely baffled. "But I'm the hero. You're the damsel. That's how it goes. Are we having our first fight?" He laughs. "This is so us; we're like an old married couple."
Minion stares at Hal, his toothy mouth hanging slightly open. Syx stares at him, too, looking horrified.
"There is no us, Hal," Roxanne says, speaking for both herself and for Miss Ritchi now. "There will never be an us. Can we please get back to foiling Megamind's evil plot?"
"Ugh, this is boring," Hal says. "Being a hero is for losers." His eyes light up with a spiteful expression. "Tighten should team up with Megamind!"
"Wait, what?" Syx says.
"Oh, no," Minion says beneath his breath.
"You want to team up?" Syx says, a look of dismay on his face. "Wh—no! You're the hero. I'm the bad guy. I do something bad and you come and get me. That's why you're here!"
"Whatever," Hal says. "Tighten flies off and robs a bank."
Syx makes a noise of distress.
It's a disaster.
"Megamind punches him with the battlesuit."
"Tighten punches through the battlesuit and totally sets him on fire with his laser eyes."
"Megamind's Minion left a button with a note that says 'press in case of emergency'," Minion puts in. "It's an emergency escape hatch."
"Fine. Tighten flies after him and then he sets him on fire with his—"
"Failsafe! A—a giant copper ball!" Syx says. "Of course Megamind set up a failsafe! Ha! 'That's right; it's made of copper! The same metal used to defeat Metro—'"
"Tighten punches through the stupid copper ball!"
"You can't do that!" Syx cries, slamming his hands down on the table. "That's not how you play the game!"
"Game over," Hal says, with a smirk.
"Why don't we call it a night!" Minion says loudly, with a slightly manic smile.
Well.
Desperate times.
"Wayne," Roxanne says, "we're finishing the game today and you have to be there."
"Roxy—"
"No, Wayne," Roxanne says. "You will do this for me or I will come to every single one of your band's performances and I will stand at the front of the crowd and boo."
Wayne recoils.
"You wouldn't," he says.
"Oh, but I would," she says.
Wayne makes a face, shifts from one foot to the other.
"Come on, what do you need me for?" he asks. "Metro Man is dead, Roxy."
"No," Roxanne says, shoving the backstory she scribbled down at Wayne. "Read this. It all makes sense! Stupid Hal and his punching through copper is what gave me the idea, and it's brilliant! I've already given Minion his copy; Hal isn't going to know what hit him."
She laughs.
Wayne reads the sheet of paper over while Roxanne waits impatiently. Then he gives a low whistle beneath his breath.
"Wow," he says. "That—that actually is pretty smart." He frowns. "You gave Minion a copy? Did you give Syx a copy?"
Roxanne shakes her head.
"No," she says. "No, it's a surprise."
"Megamind getting to be the hero…is a surprise for Syx," Wayne says slowly.
Roxanne flushes but holds her ground.
"Yeah," she says. "It is."
"Roxy," Wayne says gently, "don't you…think you should try to get over him, too? I know it's hard, but—"
"He's not something I want to get over, Wayne," Roxanne says flatly. "And it's not like I'm going to kiss him out of the blue."
Wayne flushes, now.
"Roxy! That was years ago and—"
"I don't want to get over him, Wayne," Roxanne says. "I'm not—I'm not expecting anything. With this. I just—I just want him to be happy. Okay?"
There's a pause.
"Yeah," Wayne says, "yeah, okay. I'm in."
"Right," Roxanne says.
She's wearing a Miss Ritchi outfit, has her makeup done carefully. She told Minion to bring the best Megamind cape, and even Wayne dug out his old Metro Man cape and has it around his shoulders. Only Hal is wearing normal clothes.
"So it turns out that Metro Man's weakness isn't actually copper, and he isn't really dead. Metro Man—want to tell everyone how you faked your death?"
Wayne clears his throat, straightens his shoulders.
"Okay—okay okay okay. It all started at the observatory…"
Hal gets redder and redder, angrier and angrier, as they go on with the game. He looks ready to flip the table (she thinks maybe it's only Wayne's presence that's stopping him).
"You think it's sooo funny," he snarls. "Let's all laugh at the really cool guy, huh? Well, you won't be laughing for long. Eye lasers!"
"Behind you!" Roxanne says.
Syx blinks, then his face lights up in understanding.
"The invisible car! I run for it—"
"Tighten grabs Megamind," Hal gives a nasty smile. "That's the last time you'll make a fool out of me."
"I made you a hero," Syx says. "You did the fool thing all by yourself."
Hal's face goes positively purple. His fist flies out and hits Syx in the face.
Syx falls from his chair onto the floor.
Minion, Wayne, and Roxanne all jump to their feet, but Syx holds up a hand.
"I'm at the invisible car, now," he says softly, with a sharp little smile. "The punch sent me flying."
"Fine, hide," Hal says, on his feet, now, too. "Think you're so smart. I punch through the door and tear it off the car."
Syx gets up to his feet and moves slowly around the table opposite Hal.
"Miss Ritchi picks up a broken road sign," Roxanne says beneath her breath, picking up her notebook.
"All out of tricks?" Hal says. "Tighten throws Megamind straight up in the air as hard as he can. Enjoy your flight."
Roxanne takes a sharp breath, forgetting about intending to hit Tighten with the road sign (and Hal with the notebook).
"Megamind—"
Syx blinks, then his eyes go wide.
"We're in the downtown plaza," he says quickly. "Aren't we? There's a fountain. That's what Minion's next to."
Roxanne looks at him, trying to think why—and then it hits her, too.
"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, we are. Megamind is falling right over the fountain. Miss Ritchi runs to it—"
She runs the few steps to the coffee table, next to where Minion is lying on the ground, from where Tighten crushed his robot body.
"Oh, who cares!" Hal says. He moves over to the coffee table.
(over his shoulder, Roxanne sees Wayne shift as if to move after him; she shakes her head at him slightly and he stays where he's at.)
"'Say bye-bye, Roxy—" Hal says.
"De-gun," Syx says swiftly.
"What?" Hal turns to him. "What are you talking—"
"Megamind dehydrates himself while he's falling, rehydrates in the fountain, grabs the defuser gun, and defuses Tighten! Yeah that's right; because thing about bad guys? They always lose!"
Hal gapes at him for a long moment.
"Oh, screw this," he says finally. "This game is stupid!"
He stomps out of the apartment, the door slamming behind him, and Roxanne laughs delightedly.
"You did it!"
"We did it!" Syx says, eyes wide, a smile starting. "We won; we won; we won! Oh my god, he was awful; I'm so sorry I suggested having him play, Roxanne—"
"Great job, buddy," Wayne says, offering Syx a high five.
Syx, after a moment, gives him one.
"Ahem," Minion says. "i would just like to point out that I am a fish out of water, here."
"Minion!" Syx says, kneeling beside him.
"''I can't see—it's—cold and warm—and dark and light—'"
"'It's me, Minion,'" Syx says, in his Megamind voice. "'I'm right here.'"
"'We've had a lot of adventures together, you and I,'" Minion says, playing up feebly.
"'We have, Minion.'"
"'Most of them ended in…horrible failure,'" Minion says, and Roxanne's lips twitch in amusement as she kneels on his other side. "'But we won today; didn't we, Sir?'"
"'Yes, Minion, we did. Thanks to you.'"
"'We're…the good guys, now.'"
"'I..I guess we are.'"
"'Oh! Oh, I think I'm—I'm going, yes I'm going far away—"
Minion makes a sequence of frankly awful noises and then falls back in his headpiece as if dead.
There's a moment of silence.
"Oh, come one; Minion can't die!" Wayne says. "You can't make me come back to life just so that Minion can die!"
Syx laughs and taps a finger against the glass of Minion's headpiece.
"No," he says. "I pick up Minion and put him in the fountain and he's fine, right?"
Minion opens his eyes and does a flip in his headpiece.
"Guess I just needed a swim," he says.
Roxanne laughs.
"What a drama queen," Syx says affectionately, rising to his feet.
Roxanne stands up, too.
"So! How about the kiss!" Wayne says.
Roxanne looks at him, aghast, feeling heat flood her cheeks. She looks quickly at Syx, who is staring at Wayne, too, his eyes wide and his ears and cheekbones burning pink.
"The—the what, now?" he stammers.
"Oh, you know! Hero saves the day, hero gets the girl, big kiss, they fly off into the sunset; don't look at me like that Roxy; you know what I'm talking about!"
"Wayne, I swear—"
"I don't make the rules!" Wayne says, "Hey, Minion, there's something in the elevator that I wanted to show you?"
"The elevator?" Minion says blankly, clearly not getting the hint.
"Yeah, buddy, the elevator, come on," Wayne says, dragging him through the door.
It shuts behind them, and Roxanne and Syx are left alone in the apartment.
"I'm sorry," they say at the same moment.
Roxanne blinks.
"You're—why are you sorry?" she asks.
"The whole—the—the kiss thing. I know it's—the whole game has never really been fair to you, with the—the damsel in distress—bit, and—and I don't want you to think that—there's any—um—pressure to—that. With. With me."
Syx looks desperately uncomfortable by this point. Roxanne reaches out and puts her hand on his arm and he stutters into silence.
She takes a breath, heart fluttering against her ribcage, stomach flipping over and over—takes a breath and straightens her spine, calling up Miss Ritchi, and her confidence.
"Megamind," she says.
Syx looks at her for a moment, and then his shoulders straighten, too.
"Miss Ritchi," he murmurs.
"I'm very proud of you," Roxanne says. "And I'd like to kiss you, now. If you'll let me."
Syx's lips part.
"I—yes, but…you—you don't have to do that," he whispers, his eyes wide and worried.
"I know," Roxanne says.
She moves closer to him, slowly, reaches out and places the fingertips of her other hand against his cheek.
"I want to," she says.
Syx leans his cheek slightly into her hand.
"—which—which one of you is talking, now?" he asks softly.
Roxanne laughs breathlessly.
"Both of us," she says.
"Oh thank god," Syx says, and laughs, too.
They're both laughing, still, the first time that they kiss.