Disclaimer: I don't own A Great and Terrible Beauty. Although I wish my life was even an iota as exciting as Gemma's is.
I am Gemma Doyle. Girl in the mirror. Seer of visions. A girl to be courted, slighted, used, a girl one step away from disaster. A girl with so many choices, but unable to act upon them.
It sickens me that my father, known for his "equality" and friendship with the Indians, would disown me if he learned that I kissed an Indian boy, not once, but twice. And I welcomed it, cherished it, and needed it.
It sickens me that Ann, unable to find her voice to defend herself, can speak up to land me in jeopardy.
It sickens me that Kartik thinks that I will forgive all the ways he insulted me, and just become his friend.
It sickens me that he gave up his life for me, and I am still not fully grateful.
It sickens me that Felicity still seeks her father's approval.
It sickens me that she uses me so.
It sickens me that my friends are not loyal to me. They do not have my best interests at heart, and I cannot tell them so.
It angers me that Pippa thinks it my fault. She chose to do it.
It sickens me that I cannot voice these thoughts. They will remain inside me.