I laid there, watching her as she peacefully slept, snuggled against my body. She was beautiful, despite the sex hair.

Ever since she stepped into G-Major that first day, I knew she was going to be a handful. I knew she was going to effect me. I knew she was going to turn my world upside down.

I just never imagined that she would effect me this much. That I would change this much for her. I gave up all the outrageous partying I had done, just so she would approve of me.

To think of how much I've changed since my BoyzAttack days. Its only been a few years, but it felt like a lifetime ago. I can't believe I was ever like that, no wonder Jude hated me in the beginning. I was a complete ass. My nights, filled with one night stands and drinking into oblivion. I think that was because I felt I had no escape. My life was filled with constant watch of paparazzi, and my career was bottoming out, my solo career had failed and all I had left was producing. Having not even went to high school, I didn't really have no other choice of work.

When a friend of mine, Georgia Bevans asked me to produce an artist for her, the winner for singing contest, Instant Star, I obliged. I owed her. I wasn't thrilled about the idea, but I did it. That was when she walked in, the rambunctious attractive red head that hated boy bands and the likes of me.

But obviously, things didn't stay that way for long. The night of her first performance at the Vinyl Palace, to my surprise, she kissed me. The fifteen, boy band hating "punk chick", kissed me. That night she threatened to quit. I, luckily, changed her mind.

My annoyance of her gradually decreased. What can I say, she grew on me. Her positive attitude, and beautiful voice, was enough to turn any grump around. Though there were a few times that things got the best of her. Like her best friend Jamie saying how bad her song was, and that one day at her parents farm house, when she undoubtedly caught Sadie kissing me, and not to mention all the hurt and trouble I caused her. But yet, she still pulled through at times, and she still had that positive attitude of hers. I wish I was more like her, strong and confident.

I remember when I first started falling for her…at the farm house. We were singing. I swear, if her sister hadn't have shown up, I would have kissed her. I'm not joking. But I hated how things had turned out that day. I was unbelievably jealous when Shay came in and swept her off her feet. That's when I truly realized, at the time, my extreme, I guess you could say, affection for her. I wanted to protect her from a guy who I once was. How ironic.

Then, there was the night of her 16th birthday party. I never planned to kiss her that night, hell I never planned on Kwest finding out about how I felt for Jude, but he just did and if she had been just a few years older, then yes, I would have acted on my feelings sooner.

Her one wish was for Shay and me to get along. I obliged, though I hated the kid. She even wrote a song and planned to sing that night for him. On her birthday…But those plans didn't turn out too well. 'Cause that jackass cheated on her with Eden. I saw it coming.

So after having a little talk with Shay, I went outside to check on her. It was raining, but she didn't care, her heart had just been broken. She said, "Tell me I told you so." But I didn't. I just took off my jacket that went with my suit and draped it over her shoulders. Then that's when it happened, a few moments later, I kissed her. The cheating bastard made her doubt her beauty, her attributes, everything in her that would make a guy want her. She asked me what was it that made her so easy to give up, so she can fix it. God, she thought she was easy to give up? For Shay well that's a different story, but for me, that is very difficult. I've tried, believe me, I've tried to stay away, because it was wrong on so many levels for me to even look at her the way that I did half the time. Instead of answering her with words, I pulled her towards me stating she was asking the wrong guy, then pressed my lips against hers. Best moment of my life, except for now of course. But after that… worst moments of my life.

As we ended the kiss, an elderly man and a young woman I suppose was his granddaughter opened the door. I quickly pulled away. The two went back in. My body turned to Jude, but I couldn't face her, my eyes averted downward. I told her she should go, and that I'd see her in side. I saw, there was shock and hurt in her eyes, and she was a little hesitant. When she finally went in, I leaned against the railing, I couldn't believe I had done that. After spending another moment outside, I felt I had enough rain for a lifetime and went stealth fully back into my office. I sat at my desk and pressed my wrist against my forehead. I mentally berated myself until I had enough courage to search for Jude and face her. I had to tell her.

She wasn't in the lobby with the dwindling crowd, she wasn't back outside. So I searched the studio and saw her staring at an old recording machine. My heart was heavy that evening, and that month afterward. I struggled with small talk about what happened in the alley. "I think we both know what you want to say. It was a mistake right, just a pity kiss? You don't feel the same way I do because I'm just a kid? Just say it." She said. That was no pity kiss, who pity kisses someone like that? And that was not a mistake. But I had to tell her to agree it never happened. I wanted to continue being her producer. I wanted to continue to work with her, continue to her face in the afternoons after school. But the only way I thought that could happen was to go along and say that what had happened between them in the alley had to be forgotten and not brought up again, it could jeopardize them both. I know I let my guard down slightly when I was telling her this, my voice cracked a little and my eyes were a little watery. I cared for her too much, and I didn't want to lose her. And I never thought I'd feel this way again, not after Angie. She agreed then left me standing there.

The next day she was at G-Major, I acted a little like it didn't happen, but she called me out on my shit. No matter what I do to her, she still has that fiery attitude. Though I had to try to remind her to keep quiet about what had happened

After her Under the Mic performance, I went to really apologize to her. The song she sang was incredible, but it really affected me, I didn't know I had hurt her that bad. That was the last thing I wanted to do… She, of course, told me to get over myself, not every thing was about me, then slammed the door in my face. That was some nice rejection to start off your evening. I so beyond deserved it.

Soon enough it was time for her record release party. The album finished, me and Jude gradually were heading back to being good friends again. Everything was going good, until Jude found out that I was possibly dating her sister Sadie. It just happened. I guess Sadie was like an escape to keep my mind off of Jude, or since Sadie was her sister, she was like the closest thing I could have until I could actually be with Jude.. I didn't know. As I look back now, I know it was wrong to be with Sadie, to use Sadie like that. I didn't really like her, not like I liked Jude. Sadie was the type of girl I usually went for, except this time the girl had brains. I mean Sadie's attractive but I just wasn't attracted to her personality like I was with Jude.

Kwest had asked me if I was over Jude when we were talking about how I freaked out a little when Sadie mentioned the word boyfriend. Kwest clearly saw that I wasn't.

So Jude found out. Sadie found out that I had kissed Jude on her birthday. She sarcastically asked, "What did you trip and fall on my sister's lips?" Well that's a funny way of putting it. I was just about dumped at that moment. I went to the bar where I saw Jude sitting at. I leaned against it and said as a continuation of what I said before Sadie stormed off, about why Jude was doing the Shay tour. I told her the Shay tour was a bad choice. She responded with not only a "You don't get to tell me what to do right now, Tommy" but also a "These last few weeks, I let myself fall for you again, I thought you were falling back." There was that stinging in my chest again. She thought I was falling for her again? Girl, I hadn't stopped. And she was falling for me again? Damn, I was lucky I kept it together for at least a little bit that night, it was in a public venue. "Do you care about her…more than me?" No, no I don't, so I answered with her a "You can't ask me that." I guess she caught on and asked, "Who do you want? Can you make up your mind?" They were calling her up on stage. I was so close from giving in. I think she saw it in my eyes. When she was up on stage singing the beginning lines of Temporary Insanity, she was staring straight at me, trying to relay a message. I just couldn't take it. The look in her eyes, the guilt of everything I have done to her, and the possibility of someone catching on, I left. I had also need to make amends with Sadie. Sadie was my best choice right now, Jude was out of bounds, and no matter how much I wanted to I just couldn't. So I used Sadie to take my mind off of Jude, but really that didn't work out so well…

That summer, I had experienced the most terrible 6 weeks of my life. I thought I could handle not seeing Jude for that long. Thought it'd keep my thoughts from her. But her absence made me think of her more than when she was actually here. I missed hearing her sing, besides the song tracks and cds, I'm talking about actually singing in person. Not to mention that Darius took over G-Major. I know D thought he was helping Georgia but all he cared about was money and power. And ever since he became Jude's manager, I feared for what he was going to do for her 'career.' Especially at the time, since he was actually in charge and around more often. My job, as well as Jude's, had been in danger. Many people weren't buying her CD, though tour sales were very good. I think Darius only cares about money, and himself. He is the definition of greed. Search it in a dictionary and you'll find a picture of his big, shiny, bald, self. With all the work I had done, I barely spent any time with Sadie in Italy like I had promised. One week. One week and it didn't feel right. I gave Sadie what she really wanted. But all the while, no matter how wrong I knew it was, and on so many different levels, I pictured Jude instead of her. I had to keep myself from calling out her name for Christ sake.

When I got back from Italy, I found out that Jude was in a relationship with the scrawny best friend of hers. Of course he had to nerve to go around and brag. Doesn't he know that's one way to lose a girl. She must have gotten together with him when she left. I mean the kid is in love with her. Not sure how she feels about him. But I must have drove her that crazy if she turned to him.

After having little contact over the whole span of the tour, the day she came home I was there. I wanted to apologize, but Jamie was there, standing right there at the door. She didn't even look my way when she first stepped off the bus. When she finally turned to me, I really felt that awkward tension, and she felt it too, I saw it in her eyes. We awkwardly greeted each other with a hand shake and a miscalculated hug. We ended up bumping our nosed into each other. She joked about it and practically begged me to go to breakfast with her. I wanted to, I really did. But I had business to take care of and I didn't want to unload all of that all on her.

Darius ended up making her sing a cover, though that didn't turn out as he planned. She had to listen to Jamie and sing one of her new songs, which was an amazing song by the way. Darius was so pissed. I kinda was to, ya know. I told her to do what Darius said. I just didn't tell her we could have lost her job if she didn't go along with it.

She ended up doing the Instant Star Finale, which was a thousand times worse. But, my god, that space suit outfit that she had on, she looked amazing in it. Though the fake blonde wig was a little odd, that suit really accentuated her curves. I had to keep my eyes on her face and not let them wander even a little bit.

The next day I picked her up for work. After promising Sadie I'd make time for her, because I had been paying almost no attention to her the whole time she was back, I looked at Jude. She dyed her hair blonde. I could tell it was done from a box, it still had a slight redish tint to it. But I couldn't help but stare, she looked good, really good as a blonde, unlike that fake wig she had on the night of the finale. Once in the car, I praised her for her courage in sticking up with all the crap Darius had sent her way. Then I admitted that I flat out missed her. Though, just my luck she had finally fell asleep. Out of all the times she could have fallen asleep she chose that moment. I don't I guess I was kinda glad that she did, it would have been slightly awkward after admitting it.

I remember the time she met Patsy, crazy Patsy. Who, might I add, got her drunk and arrested for defacing a billboard. I then heard Andrews broke up with her after she didn't try to save his job. She had been having trouble singing the whole day, and I told her to go home, and return when the frog was out of her throat. She was just blowing off some stress.

The next week Liam, the new head of finance, decided it best to bar her from G-Major, and recording for four months, putting her on the back burner. She came up with a wonderful idea about making a bootleg to get her music out there again. Though, I messed it up with my playfulness that session when it was the only time available. She and SME found a place on the east side, we ended up recording the bootleg on our own there, it tuned out really great. That song got us back in the studio again.

Then Kat and her ended their friendship, I know that really affected her. Then her immature friend Spied got together with her.. Yes I was jealous also, but I tried to hide it and tried to encourage her. Then came the time when she pushed me into the hot tub at her supposed mother's birthday party turned disco party. She was trying to make things right between me and her sister. (They walked in one morning and saw that one model walk out of the studio I was in with my jacket on. Nothing happened but Kwest and Portia made Jude think otherwise, so she pushed me into the hot tub after saying, "I trusted you Tommy. I took your side…You were suppose to be different, you were suppose to be the one I believed in. Stop lying to me and go home." She left the backyard and took Sadie with her.

She just pushed me in to the hot tub and called me out on my shit. It hurt that she didn't believe me that nothing happened.

Even though I liked Sadie, I was kinda glad the whole relationship was over. It took too much to please her. And it really wasn't right playing her like that. I use to do it the past and the past was repeating, especially me hurting the people I care about.

After that, Jude and I completely ignored each other, besides when things needed to be said during studio time. We then got into an argument, that's when Darius came in and took her out in the alley, for what I hoped was, to talk some sense into her. I went to hospitality for some coffee and came back to find that she fired me off her album and replaced me with Kwest. I was livid, how could she have fired me, we make great music together. I guess being her birthday I was too hard on her.

So I went to the rehearsal space to talk and I guess apologize but my luck ended me in the room below it, trapped. Stupid me, I left the cell phone on the passenger seat of my car.

So when I heard noise above I started hitting the pipe yelling for someone to get me out of the room. Turns out it was Jude, just the girl I wanted to speak to. But of course she fell for the same thing I did and we were both trapped in the room. Together. Alone.

Not so good especially with our current situations and my private feelings for her. She brought up what happened on her 16th birthday, the day I tried to ignore and not bring up because I would lose me resolve.

With nothing else to do, and her still hating me, we wrote a song together… In the song she basically flat out called me a liar. I helped with the lyrics none the less. The part I added was "tell me you love me like a star, tell me you want me wherever you are, tell me you breathe me till your last breath. Liar, liar."

On the couch we talked. I practically begged for her to believe in me again. I told her Sadie and me weren't right. When she asked why. I told her she knew exactly why. My eyes showing my emotions. Being trapped in that room alone with Jude for that long really broke down my resolve. She's the only one who can do that to me.

After saying that she moved closer to me. My heart began beating twice, three times as fast as it was before. Her lips captured my attention. She sat their just staring at me until I couldn't take it anymore. My arms wrapped around her as I pulled her close to me, my lips collided against hers. It felt like heaven feeling her lips against mine. It has been exactly a year since they have been there.

It wasn't long before my lips journeyed from her mouth, to her jaw, to her neck and the other places of her body. And it wasn't long til we were both exposed to each other for the first time. She was just as I imagined, beautiful.

This morning, as I got dressed, I never imagined I would make up with Jude. I never imagined that we'd write a song together while trapped in a completely abandoned room just below the rehearsal space. And I never imagined that I would make love to Jude tonight. Boy how life has other plans for you. I would have waited to make love to her at least closer to her 18th, and it would have been in a bed, preferably mine with dimmed lighting and all.

I ran my hand threw her hair. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, inside and out. I kissed her forehead. I'll never regret this night. Never. I feel her stir against me and groan slightly. I looked down at her as she looked up at me.

"Hi…" I whispered and smiled slightly.

"Hi…" She returned, also with a smile…

"I love you," I told her for the first time. I know that shocked her.

She looked at me, wide eyed and shocked. Then she smiled…. "I love you too…"

I kissed her once before she laid her head back down on my chest and fell asleep.

Thinking back on all that has happened between us, I smiled. I wrapped my arm around her back and held her close as I fell asleep.

I savored it while it last, because I knew someone would be looking for us and that's what happened a few hours later.