A/N How's everyone? This isn't A Wandering Storyteller, but Rivin shadow. My sister here decided to leave her fanfiction open so I decided there's time for a quick FMA fanfic. Don't worry, I didn't look at your PM'S or anything, Wandy. Don't kill me! :D

Ed: She's going to kill you. She has no qualms about killing Tucker. Why would she have a problem with killing you?

Rivin: Shut up shorty. (Uses Al as a shield) COME AT ME BRO!

Al: Save me brother!

Ed: Reviewers, this may get bloody. Neither Wandy nor Rivin shadow own FMA. Now, if you will excuse me… (Becomes angry and chases Rivin) COME BACK HERE YOU TALL ASS BASTARD!

When Brother's Away...

Ed sat in his room in Central, groaning at the box-shaped device in front of him. He couldn't believe how stupid everyone on Facebook seemed to be. All of his friends were looking to harm him in some fashion, from stabbing to wrench-throwing. He sighed as he read Winrey's nagging message.

Winry Rockbell: EDWARD ELRIC, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN AGES! HOW IS YOUR AUTOMAIL, ARE YOU TAKING CARE OF IT! IF I HEAR AS MUCH AS A SQUEAK FROM IT, I WILL DRAG YOU BACK HOME AND BEAT YOUR SORRY ASS WITH A WRENCH SO HARD YOUR AUTOMAIL WILL CRY! So, how's my favorite customer? :D

Ed sat there, afraid for his life. Jim Carey can't save him now. He wrote back, hesitancy in his typing.

Edward Elric: My automail's fine, shiny as ever! Maybe a few dents here or there, but it's okay! I swear there's no reason to beat me.

As soon as he sent the message off, a wrench flew from the computer into Ed's face. The collision was heard for miles.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL WINRY!"

Ed ran out, clutching where the wrench hit him. In his haste to hide, he left his Facebook wide open. Al, forgotten in the corner, walked over to the computer and laughed. He had a plan.

FMA

Ed came back much later, holding ice to his multiple wrench wounds. The house was completely silent.

"Al?"

Ed found a note next to the computer.

.

Ed,

Heard that some man had captured a poor squirrel. Be back tomorrow.

Al

Ed looked at the note curiously. He didn't know his brother to save squirrels from people (or evil reviewers). He sighed, sitting down and looking through his Facebook. What he saw mortified him. Not even Johnny Depp could save him now.

Married to Lust.

He opened the comments, still gaping at the first statement.

Lust: We are NOT married!

Greed: Hahaha good luck with that one kid.

Winry: I'VE GOT A FEW CHOICE WORDS FOR YOU ED. YOU. GRAVESTONE. WRENCH!

AL: ;)

He scrolled down, shaking his head at the next post.

Children: Truth

He started shaking in anger. Whoever thought this was funny…

Lust: You're next on my hit list.

Greed: That's wrong kid.

Truth: As a father to son present, can I have your body?

Winry: Ed… what are you smoking and why aren't you sharing?

The next post caused him to crush his mouse, throw on his coat and break the door down as he left.

Edward Elric: Hacked by Alphonse Elric. Have fun, brother. :D

A/N This'll teach my sister to stay logged on. Or it'll bite me in the ass later.

So how is it? Please R&R and check out Stupid Truth! By Ilvhstry. Reviewing that story may save me from a couple of bruises. Till next time!

Where shadows lie, darkness follows.

Rivin shadow