Like every other important event, the change was beginning during one of the unsettled Ankh-Morporkian nights. It began with me waking up and being unoriented for a moment. But then I felt the comforting warmth from my stove, clean sheets underneath and close to me a very slender figure putting both arms around me and snoring quietly.

I blinked and opened my eyes completely. When my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I carefully raised my head and looked towards the window. The sky was full of clouds. Wind was howling around the corners. Rainfall was coming down, passing into snow here and there. In front of my window there was November which was called Ember on Discworld.

The year was coming to an end. Hogswatch, the most important event of Discworld, was getting closer. Hogswatch was very similar to Roundworld's Christmas Eve. Just the date, the last day of the year, was a different one.

I laid back again and took a deep breath. I taxed my brain to find out what had woken me up. But I couldn't say. The only thing I remembered was a chaotic dream making no sense at all. During my dream, I had been walking on some street and suddenly had been dropping off something.

Puzzled, I knit my brows. There had been dreams like that before. I had dreamed a mess, had woken up and had found it very hard to fall asleep again. But I had never found out where those dreams were coming from. They were different from the ones I was getting shortly before the outbreak of an illness. Those dreams were full of big and nasty spiders.

Rincewind's arms pulled me tighter to him. Softly, he nestled his nose against my cheek. I couldn't help smiling.

Since we had talked to Mustrum Ridcully, he had spent every night at my house. It was good that I lived quite close to Unseen University. In fact, Rincewind just had to cross Sator Square and Plaza of Broken Moons to come.

The wizard and I enjoyed the togetherness a lot. It was fine not having to sleep alone, fine to feel another body next to the own which would grant warmth and security. Usually, the wizard's presence helped me sleep peacefully. But the best thing was that we enjoyed tenderness yet took our time with everything beyond. In short, we were enjoying life.

Tenderly, I caressed the wizard's hands. Rincewind rubbed the tip of his nose against my cheek again and kissed my earlobe. I could feel his heartbeat underneath my shoulder blades. The even pulsing was soothing me. It took me a while but finally I fell asleep again.

Until the morning, I had forgotten the episode and during the day I didn't remember either. I was to busy. The business before the holidays was the most profitable for the Ankh-Morpork Times. The editorial office was in full swing. William de Worde looked after that everything went like clockwork.

"We have a reputation to keep. We are the only paper of our kind in town," he used to say more then once these days, "A blooper would mean the deathblow to us."

As soon I got home, there was housekeeping to do. I had to do the laundry, do the shopping and keep my house nice and tidy. It wasn't a picnic with the always present dirt on the streets of Ankh-Morpork. But I did my best to handle it, and after a while I found a way to.

The evening time I spent with Rincewind. Usually, he turned up when I was thinking about supper. We took turns to decide. Sometimes the wizard would bring food from Unseen University. The Luggage was coming along with him then. Every now and then, I would cook something for us. But either way it was sure that we would have at least one potato dish.

Unfortunately, the night-time discomposure began to cast a cloud on our contentedness. During the following nights, I woke up again and had much trouble to fall asleep again. In the third night it was so bad I couldn't stay in bed. I carefully freed from Rincewind's arms, put on my bathrobe and lit up a candle. Being wide awake, I decided to busy myself with something.

This year, I had resolved upon giving a Hogswatch present to every citizen of Ankh-Morpork who meant something to me. Concerning the most of my acquaintances, that was quite a piece of cake.

The wizards of Unseen University, for example, were smoking. The only exception was Rincewind. I had made big tobacco pouches of leather for them. They could be attached to the belt and closed by a big button.

Another pouch I had made for Corporal Nobby Nobbs who would never show in public without one of his home-rolled cigarettes. I had bought a box of premium cigars for Commander Samuel Vimes who was smoking as well. The Commander's wife should receive a new wig. A while ago, her best synthetic hairdo had fallen victim to the insatiable appetite of a dragon.

Lord Downey was easy to make a present as well. The president of the Assassins' Guild enjoyed drinking first-class alcoholic beverages. I had found him a couple of those and had designed the labels myself. Lord Downey used to write the name of the beverages backwards on his bottles. So his bar contained bottles labelled with words like Mur, Nig, Yrrehs, Akdow, Yksihw, Rueurqil, Trop, Cinesra or Nixot.

Yet there were some of my acquaintances who were not so easy to present, like Lord Havelock Vetinari, the troll Detritus or Death. The problem with patrician and the Grim Reaper was that I didn't have any idea what to give to them.

The patrician, for all I knew, owned almost everything. Death was an anthropomorphic personification who didn't have to take a bath or eat or sleep. Trolls are made of silicon which is why they can't eat ordinary food. They need ash, limestone, quarz or other minerals to be fed. So far I hadn't found a suitable solution.

I wrapped the last parcel, a new collar for Angua von Überwald before I looked out of the window and sighed. It was still dark out there, and I was sitting here, wide awake like after the first cup of coffee. And I still didn't know why.

A small creaking suggested that Rincewind had turned around while sleeping. I listened if he would wake up as well. Nothing happened.

I picked up my sewing basket. The everyday life of Ankh-Morpork had left its marks on a few blouses and skirts. They had fine cracks I could fix very easy.

Another creaking noise was made in the bedroom. Steps were coming closer. I raised my head and noticed a drowsy wizard standing in front of the table.

Rincewind rubbed his upper arms, scratched his ribcage, tousled the hair on his neck showing underneath the brim of his hat, combed his beard with his fingers and yawned heartily, all more or less at the same time. By now, he trusted in me so much that he was only wearing his knee-long underpants in bed. That was a thing I thought as a big compliment from the timid wizard.

The wizard sat down next to me onto the kitchen bunk. He rubbed his eyes and his face with both hands. As I knew from experience, he was receptive then.

"I couldn't sleep," I said quietly, "Did I wake you up?" Rincewind shook his head and yawned again.

"What's wrong?" he asked, "Did you have a bad dream?"

"I wish I knew myself," I sighed, lowering my sewing work. The wizard looked at me thoughtfully.

"You look pale," he said, touching my forehead and my cheeks, "But you don't seem to be ill." He caressed my hair. I couldn't help smiling.

"I'm not ill. I just can't sleep. That'll pass."

"Are you sure?" Rincewind sounded worried. Smiling, I touched his shoulder and said, "Always has. So don't you worry."

Indeed, the wizard seemed to calm down. He put his chin onto his hands and watched me searching for holes or cracks I might have missed.

"What do you think about a cup of tea?" he asked.

"A cup of tea would be wonderful," I agreed. Rincewind got up and went to the stove.

The question if I wanted a cup of tea was one of the most obvious signs for the fact how much I meant to him by now. Normally, wizards are known to be incredibly unwilling to work. Lift a finger for something that has absolutely nothing to do with magic? Voluntary, of all things? Only if there's no other way, and next time please don't ask again, thank you so very much!

Rincewind, however, didn't find anything against giving me a hand in the kitchen. He wasn't much of a help but he did his best not to cut off his fingers while peeling potatoes. I was grateful for his help.

We were a couple for 9 months now, and during this time the wizard's behaviour had changed. Of course, he was still more than ready to flee at the smallest indication of danger. He was still at his place in the lowest part of society, too. But deep inside of him, there was a certain amount of courage which was showing every time I was concerned. He would have stopped the rain from falling if I had asked him to. There were just a few things he wouldn't do for me.

A few minutes later he handed me a steaming cup. I noticed a small blister from burns on his right thump.

"Thank you so very much," I said and kissed his hand. The wizard smiled, "Cheers." The tea tasted strong and sweet. Rincewind watched me drinking and held on to his own cup.

"That has happened more then once before, hasn't it?" he suddenly asked, "That you can't sleep, I mean." I gave this a short thought before I nodded.

"The last time was last night, wasn't it? I have noticed you turned around a lot," the wizard continued thoughtfully. I nodded again.

"Did you have to work a lot during the last time? Or something like this?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I try to find out why you can't sleep."

"Oh. No, work was just as usual. Pre-holiday business. Nothing special."

The wizard fell silent for a moment and emptied his cup before he suggested going back to bed. I agreed because I had become cold. He arose and put the cups into the sink. I put the sewing basket away and hung the blouse on the back of a chair together with my bathrobe.

The wizard snuggled tight against my back. He pushed my braid aside and kissed my neck. His beard tickled. It took me hard not to giggle. Rincewind pulled me tighter to him and kissed my neck again until I couldn't stifle the laughter anymore.

"Please stop it," I managed to say, "That tickles."

"Does it? Well, that's all new to me," he answered and I could hear a hint of malicious joy in his voice.

"Liar," I told him off softly. Rincewind was always pleased about finding a new sensitive spot on me. I knew how much he enjoyed it to make me laugh by tickling. And he knew I knew about this circumstance. So he knew I wasn't really angry about it.

"Well, if you really do insist, I'll stop it," he agreed, drawling the words, "I almost forgot about your sensitivities." I just murmured and yet couldn't help smiling.

For a while, none of us spoke until Rincewind uttered a thoughtful sound.

"I remember something," he said.

"What?"

"You were talking in your sleep. The night before yesterday it was when I had to use the privy."

"Did you understand what I was saying?" I asked and frowned.

"Not really. I just could understand the word Bea. What's that? Or who's that?"

"Bea is or was a very dear friend to me. It was back then when I... you know... on Roundworld," I sighed. The wizard hummed in a thoughtful way and put an arm around my shoulder.

"I think I know what's wrong with you," he declared, "I think you're quite simply homesick." That was something I never would have expected to hear. I straightened up and looked at him flabbergasted.

"Homesick?" I repeated, "Are you sure?"

"I am," Rincewind agreed, straightening up himself.

"And what makes you think of this?"

"The way you behave reminds me of the time when I had been travelling around so much," explained the wizard, "There had been times when I couldn't sleep as well. Then, I didn't know why either. I just knew I was missing something. After a while, I realized what it was."

"What?"

"Familiar surroundings. You know, home and shelter and stuff. Things you see day in day out."

I gave this a thought. It was hardly believable. Yet it didn't sound wrong.

"I'm sure you're missing your friends," Rincewind continued, "And your family, I guess."

I tucked up my legs and put my arms around the knees. Then I nodded. Indeed, it had been long ago that I had been thinking of my few friends. Or of my mother, my brothers and sisters. Come to think of it, it had been when I had been living at Mrs Cosmopilite's guesthouse. I had thought of them when I had come to know that returning was impossible. Afterwards, I was ashamed for this.

"I would like to tell them somehow that I'm alright," I confessed hesitatingly, "I would like to tell them that I'm still alive."

The wizard didn't reply. I just heard him laying back again.

"I mean, I can't send a letter to Roundworld," I said, "Or drop a message in a bottle into space or something."

Still, Rincewind didn't reply. I turned around and saw him lying there, his head resting on his arms. His gaze was wandering off.

"Maybe you can," he finally said. I knit my brows.

"What do you mean?"

"I remember when we did something like this," the wizard said.

"You don't mean...?"

"Sending a message from Discworld to Roundworld, that's what I'm talking about."

That was information of great interest. Yet I couldn't imagine how that might have been possible as HEX had declared the way to be shut.

"How?" I asked.

"I don't remember the details," Rincewind confessed and looked at me with his blue eyes, "But Ponder Stibbons may."

"So we can talk to him tomorrow?"

"No, that may be not so easy, I think," the wizard objected.

"Why this?" I wondered, "You said we could talk to Ponder."

"Well, that is true but it might be difficult to talk to him tomorrow," Rincewind acknowledged.

"Will Ponder be busy tomorrow?"

"No, he won't be busy, I'm sure about this," Rincewind said and laughed quietly, "But we have to see him today. Tomorrow might be too late."

Confused, I looked at my clock and saw that Midnight had passed already. Now, I had noticed my error in reasoning as well. I shook my head.

"You're really impossible, you know," I moaned and laid back again. The wizard grinned. I rolled my eyes and couldn't help laughing yet.

"You should have told me where I was wrong," I objected. Rincewind grimaced, acting to be outraged.

"Me and missing such fun? Never ever, my Dear," he whispered, snuggled up close to me and kissed me.

Mercifully, the next day was Octeday, a day equal to Roundworld's Sunday. So the wizard and I could have a good night's rest. After having breakfast we went to Unseen University and straight to the Archchancellor's office. When Rincewind lifted his hand to knock the door trembled. A piece of wood spalled, making me wince and take a step back.

"Don't worry," Rincewind said unimpressed, patting my shoulder, "That was just a crossbow bolt. Ridcully must be bored, I think. He likes to do some aiming then, you know." He knocked. Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully opened the door. His crossbow rested in his hand. When he saw me, his face brightened up.

"Well, hello, Miss BeeJay. So nice to see you," he said and pulled the bolt from the door, "And Rincewind, you're here, too. Good, good. Do come in. Do you feel fine?"

"Yes, thanks, we do," I said. We took a seat.

"Well, what can I do for you?" Mustrum Ridcully asked. Rincewind and I exchanged a glance before I explained my interests to the Archchancellor who frowned and seemed to give this a thought.

"This is a thing I can't decide on my own," he said, "The best thing is if you tell this thing to the entire Council of Wizards, Miss."

I just could give him a nod before the Archchancellor arose and stepped towards the door. He jerked it open and yelled for the Dean who came by quite fast. Mustrum instructed the most portly faculty member to summon the other wizards into the Great Hall. Then we went there together.

All of the wizards gave me a polite and kind greeting. I sat down and began to talk. It resulted in the lively discussion I just had expected. Finally, Ponder Stibbons could convince the other wizards. Firstly, they had managed it once before. And secondly, it was worth a second try.

Together we went to High Energy Magic Building. HEX looked a lot larger than I remembered the thinking machine. There had been developments. In the middle of the pipes I could see a small round window, resembling an eye. When I stepped closer to the thinking machine, the eye turned a little bit. The writing arm trembled, dipping the tip of the quill into the inkpot.

+++ Good Day, Roundworld-Miss. So Nice To See You. I Hope You Are Doing Well?"

"Good Day, HEX," I answered, "Nice to see you, too. I'm fine, thank you."

+++ What Can I Do For You? +++

"I would like to send a message to Roundworld to tell my family and friends that I'm all right. They didn't get any word from me for a long time. They may worry."

The pipes of HEX were rattling for a while before the writing arm stirred again.

+++ Not So Easy To Do, Miss, I Must Confess. But That Can Be Done. +++

I turned around and gave Rincewind a happy look before I asked what HEX needed to send the messages.

+++ Just The Messages You Intend To Send, Miss. I Will Take Care Of The Rest. +++

"Hold it!" Ponder Stibbons piped in, "We can't do that just like that! It costs a pretty penny to send messages!"

"I'm sure I can pay for it," I tried to calm him down, "How much do I owe you for this, HEX?"

+++ That Depends On The Length And On The Number Of Your Messages. +++

A small lid opened a HEX' leading front. I reached inside and took out some sheets of paper and a feather quill.

+++ Write Down Your Messages, Miss. Just Like I Said, I Will Take Care Of The Rest. +++

A few minutes later, I had written down my messages. I wanted to tell my family and my friends that I missed all of them and that I was fine and in good hands. On top of that, I told Bea to contact Claudia, Nicole and some of my other friends and to give them my best regards.

"It's all written down, HEX," I said, "What now?" The lid opened again.

+++ Put Them In Here, Please. +++

I heeded the order and listened for a while to the rattling and clattering and jingling inside of the pipes. Suddenly, the sounds dropped away.

"What happened?" I looked at Ponder Stibbons. The young wizard shrugged.

"HEX seemed to be overloaded," he supposed.

The thinking machine promptly answered, +++ That Is Not Quite Correct. It Just Takes Time To Send The Messages. So Will You Please Give Me Some Time, Thank You So Very Much. +++

It took HEX almost half an hour to send the messages. We, except for Ponder Stibbons, went back into the Great Hall because the Dean suggested to have tea. Finally, the young wizard told us that the messages had been transferred successfully.

"According to HEX the transfer will be 40 AM $," he said. I broke out my purse and put the money on the table.

"We will let you know as soon there are news, Miss," Mustrum Ridcully said when I left. Rincewind walked me out, kissed me good-bye and smiled encouraging.

Days passed without news from HEX. Every evening I asked Rincewind about it, and every evening he answered in the negative. But then he showed up cheerfully. The Luggage scurried behind him and greeted me with a small knock against my knee which made my eyes water.

Grinning, the wizard waved a few sheets of paper. I took them and read the notices from my mother, my sisters, my youngest brother and my friend Beatrice.

All of them were very happy to have word from me and begged me to rewrite soon. My sisters and Bea told me about the members of their families.

I read the sheets over and over again, smiling happily. True cordial relationship has ever been a rare thing to me. I was relieved that no-one had forgotten me in spite of everything. Happily, I embraced the wizard. Rincewind kissed my forehead.

"See?" he said, "I told you it would work."

"Yes, you did," I agreed, smiling. Rincewind returned it and caressed my cheek.

"Come on now, supper time." The wizard unearthed a big pork pie from the Luggage, a big plate of chips, a bottle of red wine, orange juice and a bowl of chocolate pudding with custard. Of course, it pleased Rincewind a lot that I took just a small plateful of the chips. So he gave the most of the pudding to me.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you," said Rincewind suddenly. He swallowed and stiffled a belch.

"Ridcully said to ask you if you'd like to come to Hogswatch Dinner."

I was astonished by this. On every Hogswatch Night, Unseen University was having an extra big meal. All the wizards would attend it. Women wouldn't so far, for all I knew.

"How did he get to that idea? I thought women weren't allowed to enter Unseen University just like that?"

"Well, Ridcully respects you, I assume. After all, he has listened to you. Between you and me and the wall, that's really saying something," Rincewind said, "Ridcully has signified that it would be an honour to him if you would attend."

I smiled, "Well, if it would be an honour to him, I can't help but coming."

"You're right about that, my Dear. Besides, it would be my pleasure, you know." The wizard smiled. I got up, went to Rincewind's chair and embraced him.

Of course, this wasn't the first time to fall in love with a man. But I had never met a man like Rincewind. The best thing in him was the fact that he loved me the way I was. Besides, he didn't rush me in everything beyond caressing and kissing.

When we were lying in bed together, I felt his rawboned body close to mine. And for a minute I wished to feel this warmth and safety for all my life