Title : One Choice
Author : Onesweetbell
Rating : M (For theame and of course a lemon)
Pairing : Bella and Edward
Written For : Maniacmotherland
Summary : A choice Edward made, altered the lives of every one who ever loved him. Will he be able to get back to them? Told all in Bella's POV
Disclaimer: I don't Twilight.
A/N The following story is a work of fiction. Names and places are not based on actual events.
I want to give a shout out to my Twify, who gave the bunny and inspriration to write this. Love ya!
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One Choice
It had been six months since I saw him last. Six months since we had said our final goodbyes. Six month since the last time we had been together intimately.
It had been three months since I got the call from his sister. Three months since I got the call from my doctor. Three months of pure hell, but also three months of joy.
It had been 48 hours since I received the call from his father. 48 hours of joy, elation, concern, anxiousness, and nervousness.
And now, for the last six hours, I have stood with Edward's family and our friends and various acquaintances in a small room with a couch and a water cooler and a soda machine. Stood there, just waiting. No one really saying anything beyond hushed whispers. We are all still in shock, I guess you could say.
I didn't feel like taking to anyone else; I was only concerned for Edward. How would he be? Would he be okay? Would he remember our last time together? And I suppose, most importantly, how he would feel when he finds out about… that?
"How are you holding up, Bella?' I heard Alice ask me.
I was standing in front of a window that ran the length of one wall, looking out over the airstrip that was covered in snow.
"As well as could be expected, I suppose," I turned to give her a faint smile, but it didn't reach my eyes. "I should be taking care of you right now. He is your brother after all."
"Yes, he is. And you are taking care of me, because you're here," she said while taking my hand in hers. "Bella, you're my best friend. I don't think I would have made it through the last three months if you had not been there for me. I owe you so much."
"No, Alice. No you don't. Like you said, best friends," I squeezed her hand gently. "You know I would never run out on you, like some people."
Alice nodded her head in agreement, and then looked over her shoulder at the group of people standing off to one corner. I knew who she was looking at, all too well. Edward's so-called friends, the people he had worked with. I wondered how he would feel once he heard how they had so quickly dismissed him to an early grave and moved on to the next big story. Even if that next big story involved nothing more the most recent celebrity to enter rehab.
How could they just give up so easily? It wasn't as if there had ever been an official confirmation of his death, but when there had been no contact with him for almost a month, they seemed to think the worst and moved on. Edward, of course, would never do that to anyone. He would be there till the last, the final word. He was no quitter, that was for damn sure.
Well, with his work he wasn't a quitter, that is. However, it hadn't seemed too hard for him to say goodbye to us. No, I shouldn't say that, because it wasn't true. He just couldn't stay in one place long enough to make things work for us, so that was almost as bad. I always wanted to kick back and relax, and he always wanted to travel and see the world. You see, Edward was a freelance journalist. He loved the excitement, the rush of a new story, a chance to get that one interview no one else would even try for. Me, I am more of a stay-at-home kind of girl.
Six months ago, the last time that I had seen Edward; he had told me and his family that he was headed to South America. He had a lead on a man that could get him in touch with a reigning drug lord. He had been working on this story for quite some time and was eager to see this interview come to fruition. We all gave a collective sigh when we heard his plans, because we knew that there was no arguing with Edward when he had made up his mind.
Don't get me wrong, Edward very was good at his job. He was honest and truthful, never went back on his word. He was one of the most sought-after journalists around the world. He could have had a job with any of the major networks, but he did not want to be tied down to the "rules of political bullshit" as he put it. He liked his freedom to say and ask whatever he wanted to.
Edward was also fair and honest in his interviews and never judged. He interviewed a lot of well-known people, even those that had been cast in a dark light, plus some underhanded and devious people also. But he just had a way of making them feel comfortable enough to be honest with him. Most of the time, the guest just let it all spill with only a little prodding from Edward.
He made one seriously bad choice, however. One bad choice, but that's all it takes when you live on the edge like he does. One wrong move, one bad choice. And that is why we were all there that day. Hoping and praying that he would come back to us, his family.
And maybe, perhaps, come back to me. Maybe it was the holidays that were making me get my hopes up. It was after all Christmas eve and that would be the great present if he did.
Waiting around like I was, feeling oddly lonely in a crowd, I thought back to the night Edward and I had said our final goodbyes, the night that we had gotten pregnant although we hadn't known it at the time. It was a memory that needed little prompting to surface once again.
It was in many ways a normal evening for us. Edward drove us back to my place after we left his parents. I began thinking that he probably had insisted on picking me up in his car so I wouldn't bolt after he had informed us all about his plans, so we would have to go home together. Sneaky little shit.
When we arrived at my place, I jumped out of the car, not waiting for him to exit the vehicle. I left the front door open as I made my way to the kitchen; I knew he would follow me in.
After placing my purse and keys on the table in the kitchen, I went over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine. I really needed a drink about then, because I knew the conversation that was going to happen next. Usually he said something knee-meltingly romantic and I balked at leaving him, but this time I was going to hold my ground. We've had this discussion before, a hundred times it seems, but this time, I was done. This time, this love affair was finally over.
The terrible truth was that, for the last couple years, I had been rethinking our relationship anyway. I had turned thirty this past year, and I had begun to feel like I had wasted the last ten years of my life with nothing to show for it.
Now, not all of that time was bad. For the most part, it was great being with Edward. Especially the sex. The hardest part was when I would go months without seeing him because he was working. And, let's face it, my biological clock was ticking.
Still, I never hated his work. It was who he was. It gave him his passion, his drive, his ambition, and I did love that part of him. But I wanted more. Hell, I deserved more than what he could give me. I deserved a man who would stick around for more than a couple months, for one thing.
Edward would always said "just one more assignment" or "this is the last time I promise". And for a while, he'd keep his promise, and we'd act like a normal couple. Then a month or so later, he would get another call and he "just had to do it". "A lifetime opportunity", he would say.
I loved the man with all my heart and soul; I truly did. And I knew I would always love him. But I simply needed him, all of him. I mean, how many more times was I going to let myself be put on the back burner? Call me selfish, but enough was enough.
Which was why I was at that moment guzzling down mouthfuls of pinot grigio, trying to figure out exactly how to break up with Edward Cullen.
Yes, I take responsibility for putting up with the neglect for so long. I felt he was worth it, and he still is. But there comes a point in one's life when you need to focus on what you want and need. And that was a family of my own. I wanted a husband and children. I have known for a few years that my wants and needs were not the same as Edward's. And I doubted if that would ever change, anytime soon.
Yes, so yeah… it was gonna hurt. It was gonna hurt like hell. But for my own sanity and peace of mind, I knew I had to let him go.
I wiped off the mouth of the bottle and then grabbed two glasses out of the cabinet and poured us each a glass full of the white wine. By that time, he had made his way into the house and into the kitchen. He stood there staring at me for a moment. He must have known something was up to take that long making it in from the car.
"Bella…" he started.
I quickly held up my hand. I didn't need to hear him to know what he was going to say. It was always the same thing anyway.
"Don't, Edward. Just don't," I said. I then picked up my glass and chugged half of it. Not a good idea to do that with wine, especially since I had already been nipping at the bottle previously, but I just need to calm down, and gather my thoughts so I could say what needed to be said.
After what seemed like hours but actually was only a few minutes, I finally spoke.
"Edward, I love you. I have loved you for so long; I don't think I will ever be able to stop loving you. But I can't do this anymore."
"Bella, please. I promise, I swear to God that this is it. This is the last one."
"No. No, it's not. You say that now, but you know it won't be." I shook my head. "Edward, look, I understand how important your work is to you and I actually admire that about you. But you have to know, I will always come second to it. It's not fair to me or to you either."
"Bella, please," he tried again, but I cut him off again.
"Edward, let me say this please," I demanded. "I haven't been happy for a while now. You know this. We've talked about this before. My God, Edward, I love you. I love you so much it hurts. But this… whatever it is between us… it hurts me even more. Obviously, it's not enough for you, and I accept that. But that means it can't be enough for me either. Logically."
He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it quickly. I guess he realized that at least some of what I was saying was true.
"Edward, sweetheart, all I want is for you to be happy and what makes you happy is your work, so I won't ask you to give that up. But I deserve to be happy too. I wish to God that this was enough for you, this world, but honestly it's not. I want so much more than you are willing to give me. And I think … no, I know, that this half-life we are living must end. It kills me to say this, but I won't be there to meet you at the airport when you get back."
I felt the tears that had been building finally spill over and run down my face. As I looked at Edward, I could see him fight back his own tears.
"This is hard, Edward. So fucking hard. I have loved you for so long. I don't know how to move on but I have to. I have stood back and watched all your dreams come true. But I need mine to come true also. And no matter how much I want to be with you, we both know that's not going to happen if I stay with you."
"I won't go. Not if it means losing you forever," he whispered as he walked towards me.
"Ha!" I sadly laughed. "And have you hate me for taking that away from you? No fucking way. Absolutely no fucking way. Go, Edward, and do your job and be the brilliant man that you are. I won't accept anything less from you. It would cheapen everything that we have or had. But, just go. Please."
"But I don't want to lose you," he wept. "I love you."
"I know you do, but it's just not enough," I softly added as I placed my hand upon his cheek and felt him lean into it.
The tears he had been holding back started to run over. It killed me to see him like this, but it had to be done. I did not want to wake up years from now, regretting having stayed with him.
He slowly opened his eyes and I could see all the pain he was feeling, but there was also understanding there as well. I knew in that moment that he knew: that even though both our hearts were breaking, this was the best choice for us.
"I will always love you, Bella," he said through his sobs, then wrapped me up in his arms.
I wasn't sure how long we cried or how we ended up in the living room, sitting wrapped in each other's arms on the sofa. But eventually, I was all cried out. I looked up at Edward's face through puffy eyes and was meet with a look that I was sure was the same as mine.
"I must look awful," I laughed.
"You will always be beautiful to me," he replied with a half-smile, then stroked my cheek with his long finger.
An involuntary moan escaped my lips. My body was, as usual, so in tuned to him that the slighted touch would set me off. How was I ever going to handle not touching him again? Would it be wrong to ask for just one more night? A part of me knew the answer to that, but I needed, no craved to feel his touch just once more.
"Stay the night?" I asked, my eyes pleading, hoping he would agree. But then I cursed myself. I had just broken his heart and now I wanted him one more time? How sick is that? I quickly corrected my mistake.
"No, forget it. I'm sorry to ask that of you."
His answer surprised me. He placed his finger under my chin and raised my face so I was looking him in the eye.
"I want to stay, even if it's for only tonight. Please, Bella. Let me make love to you one last time."
We lay in bed, side by side, just looking into each other's eye for a while. I finally brought my hand up and stated tracing his face. Lightly touching and caressing his jaw and cheeks, the lines and curves. For being thirty-five, Edward looked like he was still in his twenties. He was so handsome. You would think I was trying to memorize him, but the truth was I already knew all there was to Edward Cullen.
As I lightly traced over his eyebrow, I chuckled when I moved over the little scar there on the end of his left eyebrow.
"What's so funny?" he softly asked.
"I was just remembering how you got this scar."
"Ohhh," he finally said when the memory sunk in and he smiled. "That was quite a weekend."
Six years ago, Edward had surprised me with a weekend get-away to his family's cabin in the mountains. He had been chasing me through the forest, and when I had tripped over a big log that I was trying to jump over, he had fallen on top of me and had ended up catching a twig on the way down. Thank God, it had not gotten him in the eye.
I had ended up playing nursemaid the rest of the weekend. Well, actually, a naughty nursemaid. I had even affected a terribly cheesy German accent there for a bit, just for the heck of it. I was Ivana Stroplick and he was Herr Koch. It was a hell of a lot of fun, but it was a long time ago, and it wouldn't ever happen again. This made me incredibly sad.
When I traced over his lips, he puckered and gave my fingers a peck. I had always loved his lips. They were so full and oh-so soft; I could kiss him for hours. Just thinking about our long kissing session had my body tingling. I needed to kiss him badly, so I did.
I leaned in and quickly licked my lips in anticipation before my lips touched his. As soon as our lips melded together, I heard a deep groan coming from Edward. It was a familiar sound, having heard it thousands of times over the years. Funny how I knew the different sounds he would make when I would touch different parts of his body. But the sounds he made while he was inside of me were by far the best. I couldn't wait to hear them again, even if it was going to be for the last time.
I licked and sucked on his bottom lip when he opened his mouth to suck in a breath, and I took that opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth. When I felt his tongue on mine, I released a hearty moan because there was nothing in the world that could ever compare to his taste. The taste of his mouth, the taste of his body, even the taste of his breath—the very essence of him—was by far the best thing I have ever had in my mouth.
I could feel his hand on my body pulling me closer to him. As my breasts were crushed against his chest, I could feel his breathing pick up. I dug my fingers into the back of his head, gripping his soft hair, pushing his face and mouth further into mine. I wanted to consume him, to take his impression with me forever.
As his hand traveled up and down my back and side, he played my tongue like I was his own personal instrument made just for him.
Yes, this is how I felt every time and this is was part of what makes leaving him so hard. But I don't want to think about that right now.
Our legs tangled together and I could feel his arousal on my thigh. I wanted more, so I bucked my hips feeling him press against me. It felt good, but I wanted more still. I raised my leg bending at the knee and placed it above his hip so I could feel him closer to where I needed him. Edward knew what I wanted; he always seemed to know what my body needed before I did. So when he shifted his hips, his erection hit right at the exact spot and I moaned into his mouth.
I felt him push gently against my body, wanting me to lie back, so I complied. His mouth left mine and placed a trail of wet kisses down my neck and up to my ear where he sucked it into his mouth and nibbled. This act always seemed to give him the reaction he was looking for from my body because he did it again, alternating between sucking and lick then a soft bite. I was a panting wreck.
As I moved my hands down his chest, stopping to rub across his nipples with my fingertips, a move that I knew he loved. I felt and heard a groan deep in his chest as I touched them, in turn making noises of pleasure released from my own mouth.
As he continued to kiss and lick up and down my neck to my shoulder, moving across my collarbone, I brought my hands around to touch his back. I gently caressed across his shoulder, blades feeling him shudder, and then relaxed as my fingertips brushed his tight flesh. I wanted to feel every part of him, every twitch, every line, every muscle, every flex, even the mole he had on his back. I wanted to feel it all again, just one last time. Up and down I went slowly, from his shoulders down to his ass where I'd give it a little squeeze. I wasn't disappointed, knowing that he was loving every minute of my caresses, the way his breath would pick up and the little moans he would make told me so.
As I felt up every part of Edward's back, he continued with his explorations on my chest and grinding down on my sweet spot at the same time. Leaving kisses between my breasts, he moved to licking the underside of them then placed his mouth over one of my nipples, licking and sucking it. When he released one only to do the same with the other one, then blowing his hot breath making the wetness cool, in turn making my nipple harden.
He did this a few more times then started making his way down my chest towards my belly. Kissing and licking at my belly button on his way further south.
"Bella, I need to taste you," he panted with his face now situated between my legs.
As I grabbed onto his head gently pushing him to where I wanted to feel him, I grunted a forceful "Yes".
I could feel his breath on my lower lips before I heard him breathe deeply through his nose.
"You smell incredible, baby," he told me just before I felt him place a kiss on my clit.
Then I felt his tongue lick along my swollen folds before he took his fingers and spread me open. I arched my back when he licked at my center, moaning like a cat in heat. As he continued to lick up and swirled his tongue around my nub, I felt his finger circling around my opening.
"Oh, Bella, you're so wet. Baby, I love that you're like this for me."
I had to stifle a sudden sob that wanted to escape my lips. I knew this was the last time that I would ever feel him like this and I had to hold back a sadness that crept over me. I tried to concentrate on how he was making me feel in that moment, but it was very difficult. I wanted to stay with this man forever, but I knew it was impossible. The things he did to my body were unbelievable, but all these new emotions I was feeling were making it hard for me to just live in the moment.
However, as soon as I felt his fingers enter me, all thought went out the window and all I felt was pleasure as he fucked me with them, licking and sucking on my clit at the same time.
Soon, I felt the tingle start in my toes and the pit in my stomach disappeared as the wave of pleasure consumed me.
"That's it baby. Cum for me," I heard Edward say between licks.
I let go of everything I had been holding onto and cried out as the wave consumed me and the flash flew before my eyes.
I was breathing heavy, panting, trying to catch my breath; I opened my eyes to see Edward's face above mine. He was such a beautiful man, who knew me better than anyone, knew what touch drove me crazy, what his kisses did to me. How was I ever going to live without him?
"Baby, please don't cry," he whispered.
I must have let some of the tears spill and hadn't realized it as he wiped them off my face with his fingers.
"I'm sorry, I … no… it's just… I'm just overwhelmed..." I tried to say but was cut off as he crushed his lips to mine.
As I gasped, he shoved his tongue into my mouth not waiting for me to finish, but it wasn't needed. I knew he was feeling the same.
We kissed for a few more minutes, devouring each other, trying to get that last bit of passion, love or maybe even it was a goodbye.
I felt him lining himself up to enter me, and I knew this was it. This was the last time I would ever make love to Edward and I wanted to make every second of it count.
I pulled his face up to look me in the eyes and when he entered me we both gasped and moaned but did not close our eyes. He placed his hands on either side of my head and threaded his fingers into my hair and whispered.
"I'll love you forever, Bella."
Then he lowered his head and kissed me again. This time it was slow, keeping time with the roll of his hips as he pulled back and slid back into. Slowly over and over, but going as deep as he could. I threw my arms around his neck and back, pulling him closer to me as I wrapped my legs around his waist, thrusting my hips up as he moved back down into me.
When he pulled his mouth off of mine, I was gasping and panting for air as he left a trail of kisses on my jaw and down my neck. I felt him breathing fast and heard the moans of pleasure in my ears. I'm sure I sounded the same to him.
I could feel the muscles in his back clench as he moved, running my hands down to his ass, trying to push him further into me. I wanted more, so I tried to roll us over; he seemed to know what I needed and took over, pulling me on top of him.
I laid my chest down onto his, holding his face in my hands just looking into his eyes as my hips moved at the same speed he had started. I placed soft kisses on his lips then across his face, ending with his eyes.
I pushed myself up so I could run my hands across his chest. I needed to feel him right then. I was trying to absorb as much as I could of Edward.
I could feel his hands travel up my body first resting on my hips, pulling me down onto him while pushing up with his pelvis trying to get deeper also. One hand stayed on my hip while the other travel up further, crossing over my breast and up to the back of my neck. He pulled me down and crashed my lips onto his. Shoving his tongue into my mouth, tasting and sucking, leaving me breathless again.
I could feel the signs of my orgasm pending, but I wanted more. I wanted it to last longer. I didn't want it to be over so soon. I pulled back from his chest, but he followed me.
"I want to be completely with you, Bella, a part of you. I know you're close, baby, and I want to hold you in my arms as we come together."
Well, I couldn't say that it didn't appeal to me, that he knew my body so well. In fact, it turned me on even more. So I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer as I continued to move slowly up and down his length, grinding my hips onto his, over and over slowly until I couldn't take it anymore.
I started to speed up and felt him try to raise his hips up to me. We started moving faster with one another and the tingles started rising in my body, I knew I wouldn't last much longer.
"Oh God, Edward, I'm almost there. Please cum with me!" I cried out.
"Bella," he moaned. "Baby, yes… yes... Cum for me."
I threw my head back as my orgasm over took me and I cried out his name.
I heard my name pass through his lips a few times before I felt him stiffen and release inside of me. I pulled my head up and grabbed his face, placing kisses on his lips.
All of a sudden, I couldn't hold back anymore and the tears and sobs started. Edward had pulled me into his arms and laid us down where he held me the rest of the night until I fell asleep.
When I woke in the morning he was gone. He left a note on my pillow saying how much he loved me. And as harsh as it might seem, I had to get on with my life. So I did. Shower, coffee, paper, shopping, and then on Monday, back to work. I had a life and I went back to living it.
A couple days later, Edward flew out of the country and got himself set up at hotel, waiting on word from this informant. Soon enough, the arrangements were made for the series of interviews to begin.
Of course, I got all of this information from Alice. This time, Edward didn't call me like he usually did the first night he arrived on assignment. That was to be expected, considering all we had talked about the night before he left. A part of me wished that he would call me anyway, but at the time, I knew it was better he hadn't. We both needed a clean break.
Over the next couple weeks, Alice would call me every now and then with updates on him, but she was very cautious how much she told me. I had told her what had happened between us before Edward and I left, and even though she was saddened at the news, she never pressed for more information. She would just give me enough to let me know that Edward was okay, and for that, I was grateful.
Of course, all that changed three months ago when I was summoned to the Cullen house that fateful night and was told the news that would alter all of our lives forever.
When I walked into the living room, I found his whole family there. Both of Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme, who both had looked like they both had been crying, were sitting alone in the corner. Alice was there with her husband, Jasper. And Edward's older brother, Emmett and his wife, Rose. I was told that their two kids were at home with Rose's mom.
We all looked at each other with questioning faces. It seemed none of us, other than Carlisle and Esme, knew what was going on and the somber looks on their faces told us to expect bad news.
There were also two other gentleman there that I did not know. They introduced themselves as Special Agent Jacob Black and Special Agent Seth Clearwater from the FBI. I remember wondering why the FBI would be here in our little town in Washington State. What they had to say, however, I wished I had never heard.
They told us the story of how Edward had in fact meet with the drug lord and spent a few weeks with him and his group. It seems Edward had someone in the FBI that he had kept in contact with on a regular basis when he traveled. Especially when he was in hostile countries. His contact was set in place to help him if any difficult situations should arise. However, we were not privy to this person's name, being that he was protected by the government.
All had been going as planned with Edward and his contact until two weeks ago. That was when Edward fell off the radar. The contact waited a few days before he tried to get a hold of Edward. When he could not be reached by the end of the first week, Edward's contact was able to get in touch with the informant that had set up the interview with the drug lord. It took another week for this person to back with Edward's contact. The news he heard was not good.
Edward had indeed finished his interview. And the time he had spent with these people had, in fact, been quite positive-this message coming from the drug lord personally.
Unfortunately, there had been an opposing faction that was none too happy with an outsider learning their business. A month earlier, Edward had been picked up from his hotel by some men who worked for the drug lord that he was interviewing, and transported to a secret location. Then, on the way back to his hotel, Edward and the men who had been escorting him were ambushed by the opposing faction. The other men were killed on the spot, and Edward had been taken hostage.
I felt all the blood rush from body when I had heard this news. The first thing that I heard was someone asking if he was still alive. I don't remember who said it, but I do remember waiting to hear the answer.
It turns out that the faction had contacted The Cullens just the day before and were demanding a ransom be paid or they would kill Edward. These people, or monsters as I liked to call them, knew who Edward was and knew that his family would pay handsomely to get him back.
Carlisle spoke up about then and informed us that they would do everything they could to get Edward back alive. However, the FBI other plans. They wanted to flush out this unknown faction so they wanted the Cullens to stall the kidnappers.
Carlisle and the rest of the family were none too happy with this but decided to work the FBI for the time being. Needless to say, the next few weeks were hard on all of us. Especially when the story of Edward's kidnapping hit the evening news. Somehow, someone at the FBI leaked the story and suddenly the whole country knew. This did not make the kidnappers happy, and their demands increased. At one point, Carlisle received a DVD showing a battered and bruised Edward who refused to speak, but his injuries spoke volumes to his loved ones.
We were then told by the agents that this was a tactic that was frequently used to scare the families into giving in. Carlisle and Esme held firm and didn't respond to the threat, but we could all tell that the tactic had worked and they were scared for Edward.
A month passed and we received word that Edward had been killed because the ransom had not been paid. The kidnappers said that the family and that government were to blame for his death. We were told that his body had been dumped by the side of the road somewhere, and that any search to locate his body was futile.
Then we began hearing rumors that Edward was not dead but that he was still with the kidnappers until they could come up with another plan of attack to extort more money from the Cullens. Pictures of him were even being sent sporadically, but we did not know what to believe. We had to keep the faith and believe that he was still alive since there was no concrete proof that he was dead.
Once the news had come out about his potential death, people who had come out in droves for his miraculous return started to disappear. Some of those were people Edward had worked with, who gave the excuse that the show must go on. Alice nearly ripped the head off of one reporter in particular, Mike Newton, when he had said that Edward was old news and that all anyone wanted to hear about anymore was Lady Gaga latest item of non-clothing. I remember both Jasper and Emmett having to hold her back, and she is such a tiny little thing.
This went on for another month, and most of the people who had been hanging around town finally left. Some still were concerned, but had to go back to their own lives. A lot more people, however, had only been there to see the demise of the great Edward Cullen, as it turns out. Over the years, the petty ones who were jealous of his success, they had waited for this moment. Now that it seemed he was no longer in the picture, they were fighting with one another to see who would be the next big thing to fill Edwards's shoes. It was all pretty disgusting. I wished I could have seen their faces when it turned out that Edward was in fact still alive.
And that was when we finally got the message: that Edward was indeed alive. 48 hours ago, Carlisle was contacted by Special Agent Black. Edward had been found when he wandered into a small town and was recognized by a woman from the States who happened to be there with a tourist group. Even though he was pretty badly beaten, the lady still recognized him, having seen his various reports on the news. And so, Edward was brought to the local hospital and was coherent enough to get in touch with his contact before he passed out.
That was a week ago. The Cullen's had been pretty upset that it was almost a week later that we were contacted and given the news. But we were all still very grateful that he was coming home. Which was why we were all right then waiting on pins and needles for the plane to land.
Speak of pain, right then, I felt pressure in my stomach and a sharp kick. I placed my hand on my swollen belly and rubbed gently, trying to calm the baby inside of me. I was pregnant with Edward's child. I had found out the same day I found out that Edward had been kidnapped. I know it was pretty unbelievable that I wouldn't know until that late that I was pregnant, being that I was three months along. But I had been under a lot of stress, plus I dismissed all the signs as just being nervous about Edward.
Boy, was I wrong.
I was so stunned when I heard the news from my doctor that I sat in my car for nearly hour before calling Alice to tell her the news. Edward and I had always been careful, but that last night together, we had thrown caution to the wind.
Then, when the shock started to wear off, I actually started getting excited.
This was going to be my baby. I had wanted to have a family someday, but I never expected it to be this soon and let alone be pregnant with Edward's baby. This was something I dreamed about for many years. But Edward had never agreed, always putting it off, even at one point saying he never wanted kid at all, given all the terrible things that happened in the world.
Well, I can only imagine the look on his face when he finds out, when I finally get to see him again, I said to myself. I was sure he was going to be upset, but oh well. This was my baby and I was going to raise it myself. He had made his choice and I had made mine—a baby wouldn't change that.
But that was months ago, and now I am waiting with Edward's family for his return. Would his time in captivity change his mind? I couldn't be sure. It had certainly changed mine. For one thing, I wanted Edward alive long enough to know he was a daddy. I wanted him to know that the love that we had shared all those years together hadn't been completely a waste of time.
A little while later, I saw then heard the helicopter coming in and then touch-down on the tiny airstrip. Several agents ran out to help. It took a few minutes before I saw the bronze head of hair I so recognized, even though the hair was now a lot longer, emerge from the aircraft. Everyone was cheering but I barely heard any of them, the blood was pounded so hard in ears.
"He's here, Bella. Can you believe it?" Alice said through tears. I knew she was happy and I was too, but I was hesitant to feel the joy, because I wasn't sure what was going to happen next.
I had already decided that I was going to raise this baby on my own. Having Edward back wouldn't change that. But I wondered-and actually, if I was honest with myself-I hoped that once he knew he would change his mind and want to be with us. But of course that all depended on Edward and his upcoming decisions, and from where I was sitting, it would probably still be just me, myself and I alone, with my child. Even after his ordeal, maybe even because of his ordeal, we no doubt would still come in second to Edward's career.
I watched as the FBI agents escorted him across the tarmac being careful to not slip on the snow and ice, to another building across the way. As I took in his form, I noticed he had a bit of a limp which was probably why he was walking with a cane. Suddenly, he stopped and looked up to where Alice and I were standing at the window. I couldn't make out the expression on his face because there was a bandage still on his forehead, but he must have known I was there for him to stop like that. Well, I would like to think it was me, I flattered myself. Maybe there was something written on the outside of the building that caught his attention. And there probably was some glare on the window anyway. No reason to think Edward saw me at all, I told myself.
Agent Black mumbled something to us about how we could all go into the other room that had been set up for the press conference. Alice pulled me along with her, but I stopped to look out the window once more, he was already gone. And so, I grabbed my belongings and followed her into the other room.
On one side of the room, there was a little stage with a podium, and in the middle of the room, there were dozens or so folding chairs set up. Most of them were already been occupied. I'm sure all the reporters had been waiting for hours already, vying for the best seat.
While Alice and I opted to stay in the back, the rest of Edward's family were led to the front row. I really didn't want to be that close to him right now. For one thing, he would be able to see the bump that had formed, and in the middle of a media event was not the time or place to break that news to Edward. Thinking of my belly, I quickly draped my coat over my purse and held it out in front of me. Hopefully this would hide my stomach until I had a chance to be alone with the father of my child, and tell him that I was having this baby, one way or another.
Alice just shook her head at me.
"Bella, he's going to find out."
"I know, but not here. Not now."
Alice had known I was pregnant from the first day I had found out, of course, and we had planned on telling the rest of her family that night. But it had ended up being weeks later since other pressing matters had occurred that night—namely, the terrible revelation that Edward had been kidnapped.
When we finally did tell them, to say his parents were over the moon would be exaggerating. Considering what was going on, you couldn't blame them. Things had changed in the last 48 hours though. I had made them all swear not to say anything to him before I did. Reluctantly, they had all agreed. But I still didn't quite trust Esme not to crack in a moment of happiness and accidently let the secret out, and then apologize tearfully for the mistake.
So there I was, standing in the back of a room, waiting to see and hear from the man that had no idea he was about to be a father and the one thing that kept going through my mind was how long it was going to take before he left on another assignment.
A few minutes later, a man from the FBI stepped up to the podium and introduced himself. All I heard was hello blah blah blah, we are here today to celebrate the return of Edward Cullen, blah blah blah, and more blah blah blah. I suppose, being teacher, I should have paid more attention, but all I wanted was to see Edward with my own eyes.
Finally, after what seemed to be hours of mindless dribble, Edward was brought into the room. I rolled my eyes at the endless applause he received, especially from those who couldn't have cared less about him when he was gone.
What a crock of shit this is, I thought to myself. If only he knew what these people had said and done the last few months, Edward would be extremely upset and would probably tell them all to go fuck themselves. That thought made me smile. I wondered how he would react when he finally heard what Alice did. Probably hug her and tell he was proud of her.
When Edward stood up to the podium, he began to look around the room. There was a half-smile on his lips. I recognized that smile. He didn't want to be here, but he was doing it out of obligation. I thought it was funny coming from a man that lived in front of the camera.
I took in his appearance quickly while he scanned the crowd; I did not what him to see me ogling him. I could see a few faint bruises on his face and a healing scab or two. His hands which he had placed on either side of the podium looked the worse for wear. He still had bandages on his knuckles, reminding me of what they FBI had said about him scrambling through the jungle.
I happened to look back at his face. He was still very handsome underneath the bruising and swollen features. When his eyes landed on mine, he froze. In an instant, his looked changed to one I was quite familiar with and my breath hitched in my throat. That was the look he gave me when he was getting ready to devour me. My knees felt a little weak and I had to look away. Even though it had been months, my body still craved him.
He finally started talking; I'm guessing it was a rehearsed speech, perhaps coached by the FBI. He didn't say that much. Who he had been with or where he had been held, or any of the other details of the interview he had done, he claimed that they were all confidential. He repeated this over and over again, with that same half-smile. Even when it got to the press questions, he would gloss over them and move on the next person. I could see some of the reporters getting agitated by this. I guess the FBI did not what him to reveal too much information, since they were still working on trying to get the faction that had kidnapped him.
But the next question caught my attention. It came from a new up and comer, who I actually liked, Jessica Stanley. She was young and aggressive, but was not a heartless bitch like most of the other reporters. I just hoped that this job wouldn't jade her. She also reminded me a lot of Edward when he first started as a cub.
"Yes, Mr. Cullen, hello. Jessica Stanley, here. First off, I would like to say, most sincerely, that I have always been a huge fan of yours, and that personally, I was very happy to hear that you were alive and coming home… unlike some…" She then paused and turned her head to the side where Mike Newton was sitting. I couldn't see her face but the expression on Edward's face led me to believe that it wasn't very nice.
Yes, I knew I liked her for some reason. Fuck Mike Newton.
"Secondly, Mr. Cullen, what are your plans now? That is after you have recuperated and are feeling well. Will you go back to reporting and your impressive interviews?"
I waited for what seemed like forever to hear that answer. Edward chuckled and responded.
'Well, thank you. It's great to finally be home, Jessica," he started. Then he made eye contact with me again. "Actually, I'm glad that you are all here today to hear what I have to say next."
After a brief pause, during which his gaze never left my eyes, he continued.
"After the events of the past several months, I have come to reevaluate my life. Yes, I love being a journalist, but I think it's time I moved on to other ventures in my life. I have decided to retire. The time that I was held captive has giving me a new prospective on life and I would like to get back the most important thing in my life, that up until just now, I'd thought that I had completely lost. I just hope I'm not too late. That what was once lost can still be found."
"Mr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen. What does that mean? What did you lose?" Those where some of the questions that I heard before my heart started pounding so hard that I couldn't hear anything else. My gaze never left Edward's and it was only broken when the FBI man moved him off the stage.
I stood there in a daze, just wondering what he had meant. I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up thinking he had changed his mind about us. No, it was too late. Wasn't it? I had already made up my mind. But what if? No. no. Don't think like that. But what if?
"Bella. Bella," I finally heard Alice say.
I looked over at her and saw a big smile on her face. I suppose she would be happy that her brother was alive and back home.
"Did you hear what he said? He's retiring, Bella. That can only mean…" she started, but I cut her off.
"No, Alice. It doesn't mean anything."
She tried to say something else but was interrupted by Agent Black who told her that we could all go back to the other room where Edward was waiting. She tried to pull me with her, but I waved her off.
"Go, Alice. Go see your brother. I'm going to head home. Call me later?"
She nodded then left. I knew she was disappointed. She wanted me to be with her brother and for things to work out for us, but that was a dream which had already been squashed, burned, wrapped up and finally put to rest.
As they walked out, the baby started to kick up a storm. I suddenly need to sit down because I was feeling a little light-headed and I also knew that my bladder wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. Once I felt better, I would need to find a bathroom.
I did not know how long I sat there just thinking over the past few months and rubbing my belly to calm my baby. All of a sudden, I heard his voice and I think my heart almost stopped. I was glad I was still sitting, because I'm sure I would have fallen over.
"Bella."
I turned my head in the direction of his voice. There he stood, just inside the closed door and was starting to walk over towards me.
I sat there and watched as he made his way over towards me. I couldn't say anything. I was awash in feelings that I thought I had put away. The love I felt for this man was a strong as ever. I needed him like I needed air to breath.
As he sat in the chair next to mine, I could feel the tears dripping from my eyes making my vision burled.
"Oh, Bella. God, I've missed you so much, baby."
Then I felt his arms around me, pulling into him. I heard a thump and realized my purse had fallen onto the floor but in that moment I didn't care. I was in Edward's arms.
"Edward, I… I…" I tried to get it out through the sobs, but I couldn't say anymore.
"I know, baby. I know," he whispered into my ear.
But did he really know? Did he know how much I still needed him? How much I still loved him, how much I still wanted him? Did he know that my life would have ended if he had died? Well, at least my heart would have died; I still had his child that I would need to take care of. Just then, I knew I needed to tell him.
"Edward, I... have... to tell you … something," I tried to get it out.
"It's okay, baby," he cooed. "It can wait. I just want to hold you. Make sure you're real."
"But... Edward… you need to know."
"Shh, Bella. It just let me hold you, please. Then you can tell me whatever it is," he told me.
I could feel his hand move down from my back and I when I felt his arm on my side, I knew he could feel there was something there. And when I felt the baby kick at it, I knew he could feel it as well. He quickly moved his hand and arm off of me. I sucked in a sudden breath.
"Bella, what was that?" You could tell from his expression that he thought he was in a bad sci-fi flick or something. Like some monster was going to burst out of my ribcage at any moment.
I looked up at him to see that he was looking down at what had just moved.
Oh God, what was I going to say? How was I going to tell him? I just sucked it up and decided to tell him the truth.
"Ummm, that would be your son, Edward."
I had found out a few weeks ago that I was having a boy. I held my breath. I counted the seconds. I was on pins and needles waiting to hear what Edward had to say now.
"What? Wha… huh…how, how is that possible?"
For a smart man he was sure stupid.
"How do you think, Edward? We fucked."
"Yes, we did… but... I… uh... wha... when…?" he sputtered.
I placed my hands on either side of his face and pulled it up to look in his eyes.
"Six months ago, Edward. Remember? Our last night together?" I decided to put him out of his misery. "You didn't use a condom. We were both kind of not thinking straight that night."
"So… he… is mine?" he asked surprised.
I raised my brows at him. Did he actually think I would be with anyone else?
"Sorry. But I don't understand. How… I… I… It's mine? I'm having a son?"
"Well, actually, I am having a son. But yes, you're the father. Now I know you don't want kids and I'm not asking you for anything but…" and I was cut off as he put his hand over my mouth.
"This is perfect," he whispered, leaving me stunned.
"What?"
As he moved his hand from my mouth, he brought in down to the bump in my belly. As he splayed his hand over it, I could see a smile form on his lips.
"Mine," he said barely above a whisper. "Mine. My son."
I nodded but I wasn't sure if he saw me.
The next thing that came out of his mouth surprised the hell out of me.
"Marry me, Bella. Marry me and let's have that family you always wanted."
############
Six Years Later
"Come on you two. Time to get out of the tub," I told my children.
"Not yet, Mommy!" my little two-year-old Charlotte demanded. "More bubbles! Immediately!"
Her vocabulary was outstanding at this age, but what can you expect when both your parents are teachers?
Edward had kept his word and retired, but after Mason was born, he had decided he needed to do something with his mind and so he went back to school and finished his Masters and now teaches journalism classes at the local college. Who am I kidding? He is practically the entire journalism department, they were so glad to get him. He was certainly big-time news there for a while.
"No more, baby. Time for bed. If you hurry we will still have time for a story."
"Okay, Mommy," she said with a slight pout. I chuckled to myself, seeing that face. She looked so much like her daddy right then.
Charlotte had also inherited Edward's hair color like her brother, but it was long and wavy like mine.
"Come on, Char. Let's race to see who gets ready faster. Winner picks the book," Mason dared his sister. Even though three years separated them, he was such a good brother to Charlotte. Always looking out for her and helping and teaching her things. I loved watching them interact together.
Once they were both ready for bed and the story was picked out (Mason had let his sister pick it out even though he had finished getting ready first), I asked if they wanted to see if daddy was done with his meeting so they could say goodnight. Of course, both of them wanted to.
We made our way downstairs and I saw that the office door was still closed. I gently knocked; I hoped he was done.
"Come in," I heard Edward say.
I opened the door and both kids ran past me and jumped on their father while he sitting on the couch.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Charlotte screamed in between showering his face with kisses.
Edward wrapped them both up in his arms and laughed.
At that point, I noticed Jessica was still there.
"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt, Jessica. The kids just wanted to say goodnight."
"That's alright. We were just about done anyways," she smiled up at me.
I couldn't believe this girl from years back had come so far. After the whole debacle with Edward's kidnapping, Jessica decided that she wanted to venture into the freelance side of reporting. Edward had taken her under his wing so to speak. Turns out, she was very good at it. She reminded me a lot of how Edward did his work.
So, when she had called a few weeks ago, wanting to interview her mentor, it wasn't a very hard decision to make. Edward hardly gave interviews after the kidnapping and only those where necessary. But six years later, he felt that it was time to let the world know what happened.
Edward has been through years of therapy to help him deal with his PTSD. Sometimes, he still has nightmares, but they're not as bad as they used to be. He has told me that having his family around him helps.
"Just one more question, if you don't mind, Edward."
"Sure, Jess," he said through laughs as the kids had started to tickle him. "Okay, you two. How about you both sit still, and I'll let you stay for this last question?"
"Alright, Daddy," Mason said and climbed off Edward's lap and onto the set next to his father. Looking at the two of them together was like looking in a mirror almost, one was a younger version and the other older but they looked exactly alike. Father and son. And to think, I almost missed this moment. Thank God I hadn't.
The day that Edward found out I was pregnant had changed everything. He had wanted to marry me right away, but I had wanted to wait just to make sure he wouldn't change his mind. I was still very skeptical, considering how our relationship had been before—on and off, back and forth, up and down.
But when Edward had decided to go into teaching, I knew then that he would be sticking around so I married him and haven't looked back since.
"Well, do you miss it? That's the real question. Not the kidnapping of course. I mean the interviewing, the rush of pursuing a new target, the traveling? Do you wish you never retired?"
Edward turned to looked up at me and then back down at his kids. When I saw the big smile creep up on his face, I knew what his answer was. I had known for quite some time and was happy to hear it again.
"Honestly, no. No, I don't. I made a choice that day, and it is one that I will never regret," he told her. And it was clear that he meant it.
After Jessica had left, we both read to the kids and put them to bed. As we walked back to our room for the night, I wrapped my arm around Edwards's waist and leaned into him.
"So, still no regrets?"
He looked down at me with a soft loving grin and kissed my forehead.
"No, baby. Not a one. That was the best choice I ever made. You and the kids are my life and I wouldn't want it any other way," he told me as he held me in his arms. "I love you, Bella. Now let me show you how much."