A/N: Hi everyone. Been awhile. Found this lying around and I sorta liked it. Hope you do too.
He snuck into the house, unnoticed. Not even the guard dogs managed to see or smell him.
Night bled through the shutters, dying points of light strewn about the floor. The familiar door clicked softly behind him, as he slowly delved into the house, careful footsteps barely thudding the creaking floor.
The shinobi sharpened his hearing. Hana's steady breathing. Tsume's breathing. And Kiba…
No snores, no breathing.
Once again, the dog-boy had been unable to fall asleep.
The intruder sighed, running a hand through his hair. Guilt wrought onto him desperately, but a part of him knew it was all for the better. Kiba hadn't been the same since. Hinata would've wanted better for him, and he was the only one who couldn't see it.
Shino knew the house well. He had been here many times, when Team 8 used to come and train or hang out at Kiba's house. He knew it as well as his own, because he himself had never been accustomed to the warmth emanating from the house. Shino's house…cold, calculating, quiet. And Kiba's home was so perfectly…perfect, that Shino couldn't help but falling in love with the place. He loved walking around the dog compound, meeting all the canines, with his teammates.
And now, every step tore him apart, ligament by ligament, tissue by tissue.
There's no way I can do this. He thought to himself.
And even so, with silent horror, Shino saw his thickly garbed arm protrude out, slowly, skin a startling contrast to the night, to the entrance to the attic.
Hinata would've wanted it. he reminded himself. Hinata would've told you to.
…What would have Hinata said?
Pain pricked behind Shino's eyes. He cleared his throat and straightened his glasses, which he wore even in the dark. He was a shinobi, but more than that, he was a friend.
Kiba had shed enough tears for the both of them, and Shino had to be the strong one, as he promised Hinata.
The attic stairs floated down ominously, thudding softly against the gnarled carpet. Shino swiftly fled up the stairs, and spread his arms wide. Hundreds of thousands of tiny bugs pulsated from underneath his jacket, to his fingertips, leaping off and onto the dusty floor, searching.
It wasn't long until he found the box.
Shino knelt down beside it, brushing away the dust, eyes intent and focused and determined not to let any emotions touch him.
It was for Kiba's own good. This wasn't healthy. He had to-they both had to- let go.
He flipped open the cardboard flaps, to see mound upon mound of letters.
They were all crumpled, each of their already torn envelopes with fresh tears again, from all the times Kiba had read them over. Each letter, so carefully preserved, the ink blurring from the constant rubbing of fingers against them, rereading, memorizing, her last words.
Shino poised a bug to strike, ready to devour the starchy paper, before something stopped him in his tracks.
This was Kiba's past, not his.
What right did he have to destroy it?
Especially…especially when Hinata…left a letter like that. Down to the flourish of her signature.
Shino Aburame made a mistake the day he decided to read Hinata's letters over.
Sept. 11
Dear Kiba,
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know you must be positively furious with me but…I didn't want to tell you. It was my burden to bear, not yours, and I can't begin to tell you how it pains me to know you had to find out from Kurenai.
Kiba, no matter what happens, I want you to know, even though you may think different, I will not let the cancer overcome me. I promise to be strong, for you, and above all, I will see you again, once all this chemotherapy is over.
Kiba, you've protected me all my life, and I am, and always will be, eternally grateful for it. Now, I want you to take care of yourself. Forget about me, move on, live. Remember to smile at Shino; he's quiet and brooding to you, but even he needs love in his life too. You two…my boys…you will always be Team 8, remember that.
I won't give up.
All my love, Hinata
Sept. 17
Dear Kiba,
Thank you for forgiving me. I'm glad to hear that you and Shino are well.
Chemotherapy has been…alright, I suppose. It's a terribly tiring process, but I know there are worse things. Tsunade says I'm holding up better than other people normally would, so I have hope. Apparently, the cancer has spread from my leg, up to my thigh, but the med-nin are doing all they can, and I am quite grateful for it.
Today, Sakura came to visit me. She brought over- yes, my favorite- zenzai. I was so happy to see her, you know. I told her what Tsunade said, and she actually started to cry, before leaving the room. Before she left, she told me she was hoping all the best for me, although I'm still not sure why she would cry.
Shino has been sending me letters as well, though not as many, not that I expect them from him though. He is so kind in sending them to me, taking time out of his missions. I hope you've taken care of him, and vice versa, like I've asked you to.
Kiba, once again, I'm proud of you. I know you went on that mission earlier, with Naruto-kun and Tenten. I heard about the success- I could hear everyone cheering outside. Keep doing well, I'm always rooting for you.
All my love, Hinata
Oct. 4
Dear Kiba,
I'm sorry about taking so long. I couldn't find it in me to pick up and pen and write. I was just so drained from all of the medical examinations, non-stop. I hope you're not too angry with me.
Sakura came again in the recent weeks. Sometimes, she brought along Naruto-kun, who was always so cheerful and…boisterous, I suppose, that he managed to cheer me up for a while. He brought daisies, once, you know. They're so beautiful. He told me they were a gift from Ino. My typically deadened hospital room looks so very bright nowadays.
My main nurse, Aiko, I may have told you about her on your last visit; she reads to me all the time, your letters, and sometimes other books. I don't know if I ever told you, but I love reading poetry so much. So calming for the soul, really. Just the other day she read me Edgar Allan Poe. It felt like, for the first time in awhile, that I was out of that hospital bed, in the woods, with you and Shino again. I do miss those days.
I heard from Shino you're going on another mission in a few days. I'll write as much as I can so that way you can read lots of letters when you get home!
All my love, Hinata
Oct. 7
Dear Kiba,
I kept my promise! And strangely enough, today, Aiko brought me a very mysterious package. It was this cute little book of poetry. Don't think I don't know it was from you, silly. You really shouldn't have, but thank you so much! I'd hug you if you were here right now!
The daisies have wilted by now, but Naruto-kun is always coming back to replenish them. Very sweet of him, really. It touches me to see how much you all care.
I miss you, Kiba. I look forward to your letters soon.
PS: Hanabi came today, as well. The reason she hadn't come earlier was that she was sewing something for me, although she hasn't said quite what. I wonder what it could be.
All my love, Hinata.
Oct. 19
Dear Kiba,
Congratulations! I heard you've been promoted to ANBU. You completely deserve it. You're such a hard worker, and when we became Chuunin, you were always the perfect leader for Team 8. I am proud, but I can't say I'm surprised; I always knew you'd do great things!
Tsunade stopped coming to tell me how therapy is coming along. I suppose she must be busy, but I suspect perhaps she doesn't want to see me anymore.
Neji brought along Team 12 today. Lee, what with all of his 'youth', managed to have me laughing within a few minutes. I haven't laughed for quite some time.
Aiko read me more poetry today. I fell asleep to the sound of Robert Frost. Thank you again for that book. It's such a wonderful companion when people can't come visit me.
The cancer has not stopped. It has reached my hip. But I won't back down. You always told me not to; I refuse to.
I won't give up, Kiba, know that.
-All my love, Hinata
Nov. 15
Dear Kiba,
I'm sorry I haven't written. I'm really tired lately. Aiko is sometimes my only visitor in a week. I miss seeing you and Shino, but I suppose you two are quite busy, so I really have no reason to complain.
We're halfway through the poetry book, although we're doing less every day since I fall asleep so often. Don't worry though, rest is good, as the doctors always say!
I haven't seen Sakura in a while, now that I think about it. I wonder if anything's happened. If so, I hope she's alright.
-All my love, Hinata
Nov. 30
Dear Kiba,
I'm afraid. The daisies are wilting on my bedside table, and no one will change them. Aiko asked if I would like her to remove them, but I told her no. Naruto will get new ones. He always does.
He will, right, Kiba?
-All my love, Hinata
Dec. 1
Dear Kiba,
Hanabi came today. She informed me that Tsunade had strict orders that no one, aside from family, was allowed to visit me. I am not sure why this is, but I won't question her; she is the Hokage for a reason.
I realized I haven't mentioned Akamaru for awhile, and, lo and behold, Hanabi had spent all her precious time sewing me a plushie of Akamaru! It's so very cute and soft, just like the real thing! If I think about it, I can sometimes imagine it barks.
I hope your last ANBU mission went well. Actually, I know it went well, because you're Kiba, and you refuse anything but the best.
Chemotherapy is getting quite dreadful. I really do think I hate it. My hair falls out, and every morning, I see clumps on the pillows. If only you and Shino saw me now, the fright you would have.
But, as I said, it will not beat me.
-All my love, Hinata
Dec. 25
Dear Kiba,
Merry Christmas. I remember spending one evening with you at your home for Christmas dinner. It was probably my favorite Christmas memory ever, even if that sounds cheesy.
I hope you like the bells I sent you. I know they're not much, but…they just tell me, that wherever you are, I'm with you too, and that is a comfort. I sent an extra set for Akamaru to wear as well, around his neck, so I always know the both of you are there.
Kiba…you are the last person I am sending letters to. It's like you're my only salvation. Seeing people put up Christmas lights and singing and just being...well, happy. Now I just know. No matter what happens, I want you know…
Nevermind, it's a tiny little thing. Happy New Year, while I'm at it! My New Year's resolution: to beat cancer, which I absolutely will.
-All my love, Hinata
March 2
Dear Kiba,
I haven't seen anyone in four months, besides Aiko. I think I'm going mad.
I'm sorry I haven't written. In case you haven't noticed, this is no longer my handwriting. I have asked Aiko to write it for me.
Your poetry book is finished. I will miss Aiko reading it to me.
The flowers from four months ago are still there. Naruto still hasn't changed them.
They're so dead. Wilting. Grey.
I'm scared, Kiba. I want you to be here. Protect me like you always do, again, please.
-All my lovelovelove, Hinata
April 4
Dear Kiba,
I saw Sakura and Naruto again today. Before I could say anything, Sakura was sobbing into my sheets. And told me everything.
Tsunade lied. The chemotherapy has failed. I have 2 months.
Naruto still hasn't changed the flowers. Please come visit me now.
-I love you, Kiba
April 30
Dear Kiba,
Thank you for coming to see me. Immediately after you left, Aiko told me to write down what it felt like to see you. She said recording moments like these are important.
So I said, the feeling I have when I'm with you is…
I can do anything. I'm in love, and always will be, in love with you, Kiba Inuzuka. I wanted, and still want, to spend whatever life I have with you, and I want to be happy again. I love you. I want to just shout it. I love you. I LOVE YOU.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
-Every ounce of my love, Hinata
PS: It's been over six months since I got into the hospital. I wish I remembered what the grass smelt like.
May 1
Dear Kiba,
I will marry you. I will. Yes. YES.
I'd marry you, right here, right now. I love spring. I love you. It's not much, but I'll give everything I have, to you. Take me as I am. I love you.
-All my love, forever and ever, Hinata
May 14
Dear Kiba,
Yesterday was the best day of my life. I'll never forget it, and I'll make everyone remember it.
All the teams came, and it was wonderful to see them all again. It was like this light and I forgot that I couldn't walk and that I didn't have hair. Just so much…light. Flowers and music and happiness and hugs and so much love. Almost like a dream. I went back and wrote every bit of it down but it still didn't convey what I felt. So I wrote this instead
.
It's good, right? What we all felt, I think.
I haven't stopped daydreaming about it. I wish you'd come home sooner. I know you have ANBU but I'm always waiting. I can't stop seeing all of it. Just thinking about it, I feel like a little girl.
What can I write other than that I am happy. Utterly happy. Utterly in love.
-Forever, Hinata
May 16
Dear Kiba,
It will all be over soon. You won't even be back in time for it. In a way, I have planned this. I lived through all the happiness a life can hold, simply because of how blessed you all are towards me. And you won't even have to see it.
I am grateful. And you should not be angry. There is a saying;
Don't get sad it ended, be grateful it happened.
I love you, and everyone knows it. I know it. I will think about it every second I am still here and even when I'm not. And you will too.
-Hinata
May 17
Dear Kiba,
I'm sorry.
-Tsunade
Shino stopped reading, and wiped the wetness from his cheeks. He ordered his upper lip to stiffen, and hastily grabbed the entire pack of thinning letters. All the care Hinata's hand had written, all the times Kiba's fists clenched these letters…
Suddenly, a bird began to sing. Shino froze, and realized he had to make his decision now.
And he could see it.
A bald, pale girl, lying in a white bed, stubbornly holding a pen to paper. For months.
The wild boy that tore them open and memorized them until it was like the words were etched in his eyes.
But not anymore.
He steeled himself, and passed by Kiba's room, and ignored the silent sobs from within. He snuck out, and the rest seemed to pass by in a daze. The indigo sky lightened with streaks of rainy grey, and before long a light shower began to dampen the entire city. The streetlights flickered on, and with unsurprising rapidity, Shino sprang through the treetops.
Shino ran to the farthest cliff, where the edges of Konoha overlooked one of the deepest passages into unbordered territory.
An endless chasm of foliage extended forward, shrouded by the light mist of a now soaking storm.
Where is the morning… he thought to himself idly.
He opened him palm to look at all the aging letter, the consistently curvy brush strokes. Extended his hand and just let go.
And like that, every word, every moment, got swept into the breeze, into the rain, into darkness. He watched for hours until even he, even he, was completely sure they were truly gone forever, and that Kiba would never find them again.
He was bitterly satisfied with himself and returned home, vowing to never even speak of think of what he had just done again. To be frank, he had completed what he set out to do well. Except for one.
August 13
Hi Kiba!
Thanks for inviting me to the festival! I'm sorry I didn't thank you sooner, but you know with all these crazy missions sometimes, right?
I've been feeling a little weird lately. Nothing to worry about though, I doubt it's anything serious. I'm sure it'll get better though.
You know something weird that happened? Today, Hanabi confessed something to me. Two years ago, apparently she destroyed all of our mother's memorabilia. I asked her why, because they were always so close, and because it's against Father's orders. Those items had always been so precious.
And Hanabi said it was because even after so long, it caused me too much pain for anyone to bear any longer. That it was slowing me down and I couldn't stop thinking about it. And that's why she did it, even if it hurt herself. For me.
I was angry, but what can I say other than that I also love her for it. And to be honest with you, I do feel lighter.
I really do, Kiba.
-Hinata
A/N: R&R, thanks. No flames.