Hey, people, it's me, Sarah. Aggh, I know I haven't been updating Her Last for AGES. I got the plot out but the words just don't fit. Arrgh. Please don't stone me! Anyways… Um, this is my new fanfic, it's kinda silly. But read and review anyway!
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Things They'll Never Say
Snape: Hannah…
Harry: It's Harry, stupid!
Snape: Whatever. Anyways. Harry… I… I am… your FATHER…
Harry: wibblewibble Oh DADDY! runs to Snape in slo-mo
Snape: Son! also runs to Harry in slo-mo. Both have been mysteriously transported from the dungeons to a field of sunflowers
Author: Oh my GOD, these special effects are RIDICULOUS!
Bill the Special Effects Guy: Sorry. turns a few knobs and both Harry and Snape are back in the dungeons
Harry: snivels Oh daddy… I LOVE YOU! A/N: ungay, people. UNGAY!
Snape: I love you too, Harriet—
Harry: Harry.
Snape: DAMMIT, STOP INTERRUPTING THIS CHEESY MOMENT OF MUSHINESS ALREADY! softens As I was saying… ah, screwitall. Here, take a hundred point because now we have established the fact that you are NO LONGER HARRY POTTER and you are now officially HARRY SNAPE A/N: oh god that sounds so wrong! , we get… PRIVILEGES! YAY PRIVILEGES!
Harry: YAY!
Meanwhile…
Draco: Oh CRABBE,I've never felt this way before! dances Why, I'm feeling so happy I think I might… I think I might break out into SONG!
"I…FEEEEEEEL…
PRETTY! OH so PRETTY! I feel pretty and witty and G—"
Ron: "—ORILLA!" slaps a black censor bar over Draco's mouth
Draco: frowns … That wasn't part of the song… Anyways.
"PRETTY, and WITTY, and G—!"
Ron: "—RUMBLE!" slaps ANOTHER bar over Draco's mouth. Basically, Draco keeps trying to say "g—"
Ron: --ATE!
Author: Dammit, Ron, I'M the author here!
Ron: Sorry. So Draco keeps trying to say… GATE until his whole face is covered in the black bars
Hermione: I hate everything.
Ron: Mudblood.
Hermione: Buuurrrrn. throws a flame thrower (though I'm not sure how exactly she managed to get that into Hogwarts) at Ron
Ron: AIIEEE!
Harry: … I like Hello Kitty. :D
Ron: Duuuude. Are you dyslexic or something? You can't say :D out loud, it has to be in asterisks.
Harry: oh yeah
Ron: Oh God…
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And that's the end of chapter one. Yes, I know it makes no sense whatsoever. I wrote it in a fit of extreme randomnosity and insanity. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!