The sunset was exceptionally extraordinary that evening. From the roof of the Gallagher Academy, Cammie could see the light and colors exploding across the sky in a myriad of red and yellow and orange and gold as the sun began to take its leave on the rolling Virginian hills. Birds chirped in the cool evening air, and a deer bounded across the meadow in the distance. An utterly fantastic sight.
She remembered the summer afternoons when her dad would take her off their Nebraskan farm to the nearby park. They would bring a picnic and forget about it in favor of eating their weight in sweets. Pretend to throw a Frisbee around for hours while simultaneously playing pranks on the nearby civilians. They would laugh and smile and he would teach her spy moves Rachel would murder him for, but it was okay because they were in their own little world.
And at the end of everyone of those days, they stayed to watch the sunsets. The sky's would streak in reds and yellows and oranges and golds just like it did now, and she remembered it being so breathtakingly beautiful that, when they left for the night, a tear would streak down her face.
She looked at the sunset in front of her, and sees absolutely no beauty in it.
"If you keep glaring at the sun like that, you're going to go blind. Didn't take you for a masochist, Gallagher Girl."
Zach's standing behind her. Cammie doesn't know how long he stood or even how he knew he was here, but she doesn't protest as he sits down beside her, both of their feet now hanging over seven stories of empty space. Instead she points an accusatory finger at the empty sun and simply says, "It's not beautiful."
He raises a skeptical eyebrow at her, "Which part? The sunshine and flowers and those pesky birds singing in the distance? That one damn cloud getting in the way of the otherwise clear sky?"
Her eyes roll, but she doesn't turn to look at him, "All of it. Its not beautiful."
"Why?"
"Because my dad's gone," she said in a carefully controlled voice, too steady to not have been forced. "He's gone, and he took all the beauty with him."
There, she said it. Cammie couldn't find beauty in anything anymore. Not in elaborate dresses or her extravagant school. Not in sunsets. Beauty was gone from her world, and Matthew Morgan was entirely to blame.
A large and warm hand envelops her own small and cold one. "Don't be ridiculous. It hasn't gone anywhere. There's beauty in everything. You're just not looking in the right places. Don't be so morbid."
"I believe a pot/kettle idiom is required here," She answered dryly.
His lips twitched and he squeezed her hand, "You know what I meant."
She continued to stare confused into the sunset, wondering how she could find something so extraordinary utterly unimpressive. "What do you think is beautiful, then?"
"You." Zach answered without skipping a beat.
She threw her head back and laughed, a heartless, empty sound. "Yeah, about as beautiful as grass. As in, you can find it anywhere."
"No," He shakes his head, his eyes fierce"You don't get it. You're beautiful for the way you're eyes crinkle when you smile, and the cutest dimple appears on your right cheek. You're beautiful for the way you bite your lip and wring your hands when you're thinking about something important. The way you stamp your foot when your mad, and the annoyingly stubborn look that comes into your eyes when you've decided on something. The way you snore like a truck driver in your sleep, and how you're the worst morning person I've ever met. The way you can never pass up M&M's because your sweet tooth is never satisfied. The excited expression on you face whenever you successfully disappear into a crowded room or find a new secret passageway. The fond smile that you save for your family and friends. Your voice when you speak about your grandparents. You're beautiful for the way you miss your dad. For the way you cry for him every night."
He lifts her hand, and presses her palm against his chest, and she looks at him for the first time. "You're not beautiful despite your plain looks. You're beautiful because of them."
They sat like that for a few moments, staring into each others eyes. Cammie could feel his strong, steady heartbeat through his shirt. She counted them until she could find her breath again.
"Macey's laugh," she blurted, looking back towards the sunset.
His eyebrows knitted, "Come again?"
"Macey's laugh. The way she snorts before throwing her head back and laughing extremely loud. It's so carefree and rare. It's beautiful."
His expression turns comprehending before a small smile stretches its way across his face. He sweeps his hand in a 'go on' sort of gesture, "And?"
"And... the way Liz paces when she's thinking really hard. And the way Bex will always be far too strong to ever let anyone see her cry. It's beautiful too," Cammie said, feeling strength return to her voice. "The way my mom can always tell what I'm thinking. The way Abby and Townsend skirt around each other, too stubborn to admit what everyone knows. The way Anna never gives up. The way Joe will always try to make up for his mistake, regardless of the consequence. And.." She trailed off again, looking away again.
"Yes," he asked, his voice softening even more.
"Your eyes," She said quietly, "The way they pierce through me. The way they're filled with so much fire and passion in them. The way they make me feel understood and loved. The way my dad's eyes used to. It's all so, so beautiful, Zach."
And then he's crushing her to his body and she's weeping into his chest. Tears run down her pale cheeks and her shoulders wrack with heavy sobs as she cries for her father because he won't be around to witness beautiful things with her anymore. She cries because regardless of how much she didn't want it to, the world would always keep spinning, even if her dad wasn't there to go along spinning with it. Salt stains Zach's shirt as he holds her, murmuring comforting words over and over in her ear.
Eventually she runs out of tears, her sobs reduce to sniffles, and he begins to lead her back inside. As they continue their trek across the roof, she looks back, only to see the sunset is almost entirely gone. She isn't sad though. The sunset had had its time, and now it was time to go. Just like her father.
She would find other beautiful things, even if sunsets meant nothing anymore. After all there was beauty in everything.
"And Zach?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't tell anyone I snore in my sleep."
"But Sarah, this doesn't follow the fanfiction Cammie who's 'Drop dead sexy' and 'perfect'! You can't do that!"
Yes. Yes I can.
~Sarah