Sesshomaru, My Sesshomaru

By: Aurora Collins

Disclaimers: I do not own InuYasha or any of the characters associated with it. I'm only borrowing the characters to amuse myself and hopefully others. ^_^

Ch. 1 Shattered Dreams

The trees were coming back to life with new leaves covering the branches and an array of colorful flowers filled the fields. The sweet scent carried on the gentle breeze, casting a soothing feeling over the little village by the river. Butterflies and hummingbirds were flittering everywhere as the somber winter mood lifted from the presence of spring.

Although the darkness of winter and the mood it casted did not leave everybody. A miko was at the riverbank, completing another load of laundry. She scrubbed at the material with cruel fingers until they felt raw. Feeling defeated, her head lulled down, holding back the apparent tears.

"Kagome," a voice called out.

Kagome's head shot up as she spotted Sango coming down the riverbank with her son in tow on her back. She barely saw the demon slayer anymore since the woman had three children to take care of. It was the same way with the Monk Miroku, since he had a family to provide for, he had to constantly work.

Kagome wiped away the one lost tear and forced a smile on her face, "Hello Sango. What brings you down here?"

Sango plopped down the basket of laundry and gave Kagome a concerned look, "I'm here to do wash, same as you."

Kagome felt embarrassed that she didn't realize the basket of clothes before. Maybe she was more down and out than she realized. "Y-Yes, of course," Kagome stammered.

Sango crouched down next to Kagome and affixed her eyes with the miko, "Kagome, I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but I can sense when something is wrong. What happened this time?"

Kagome gave a nervous laugh. She didn't like it how Sango could pick up on her emotions so easily. What was more disheartening is that the demon slayer knew who the culprit was, as she always did. Why did it always have to be a problem?

Kagome relented, "It isn't what you think Sango."

Sango didn't believe her, "Did InuYasha run off again for days on end? Did he forget to do a chore? How did he make you angry? Why is he so irresponsible!?"

Sango huffed out, "I mean, how could InuYasha still be like this? He's supposed to be an adult and providing for you. How are you two supposed to start a family?"

"We're just engaged Sango," Kagome sighed. Kagome wanted to admit what she was thinking, to get it all off her chest; but she didn't know if she could say it out loud.

Kagome kept silent for a moment as Sango finished her rant about how irresponsible InuYasha was. Everything she said had been accurate and InuYasha proved it on a daily basis.

The miko began to put her cleaned wash in her basket, "Sango, everyone is growing and moving forward. You and Miroku have three lovely children, Shippo is learning how to become a proper fox demon, and I am learning about herbs from Kaede and Jinenji; but the only person not growing is InuYasha."

Kagome gave Sango a saddened look, "I am sad because InuYasha and I keep arguing over everything. We argue about the proper time to marry, to settle down and have children, but he makes excuses. I have come to the conclusion that he is not ready for this and probably won't be for many years, possibly not within my lifetime."

Sango had never thought of it that way, but InuYasha was a half demon and he would age differently than a human. The half-demon would remain a juvenile for how long? Another fifty years? One-hundred years? The demon slayer became enlightened of the situation.

"What will you do Kagome?" Sango questioned.

Kagome did not even know the answer to that. She still loved InuYasha, but could she settle for what she had right now? Eventually she would want a family of her own and a place to call her home. Instead she was still living with Lady Kaede and Rin in the village. She had hoped that the past three years in the Feudal Era would have given her more time to be with InuYasha and make her dream a reality. Instead their relationship was the same as it had been when she was a teenager; now she was in her early twenties.

Kagome shrugged her shoulders, "I don't really know."

Sango wanted to ask more, but she could tell that Kagome did not wish to speak on it further. Kagome got up from her crouching position and dusted off her clothing. She picked up her basket and gave a sad smile to her friend.

"Perhaps I will see you at the festival next week?" Kagome asked.

Sango nodded, "Of course. Please take care of yourself."

As they parted ways Kagome felt more turmoil within her heart. Could she keep this up and still be with InuYasha? The only thing she could think of was breaking off the engagement. But then what?

When Kagome rounded the corner of the road she entered the village. When she looked up the hill where the Bone Eater's well was; she saw the continued construction of the Shrine. It would be the future Higurashi Shrine that she had grown up with. Never in her wildest dreams did she suspect that she would be the one to initiate the construction of it. She felt that warmth in her heart when she thought about her family and how much she missed them.

Her train of thought was interrupted when a figure jumped in front of her. The red flashed before her eyes and that frown showed fangs.

"Where have you been Kagome?" InuYasha asked.

Kagome held up the basket of clean clothes, "Obviously doing laundry."

InuYasha gave an irritated look, "Why didn't you ask me if my clothes needed washing?"

She was already feeling impatient, "Maybe I didn't feel like washing your clothes this time."

"But you always ask. In fact, you insist on it," InuYasha whined.

Kagome gritted her teeth, "Of course I insist on it. Your hygiene is terrible and I can smell you from here."

Kagome's nose crinkled to emphasize her point. InuYasha always ran around and never thought about taking a bath or cleaning his clothes. She could see the mud stains on his pants from where she was standing.

InuYasha took a step back and his face reddened, "Then clean my clothes."

She was about to lose her temper, "I am not your maid InuYasha. Clean it yourself. Now if you don't mind, I still have a lot more to do before the sun sets."

"And what do you have to do that is so important?" InuYasha countered as he followed Kagome down the path.

Kagome did not want to deal with this right now. InuYasha was so insistent and pushy all the time. She just wished that sometimes he would let things be and realize that things really were simple.

"I have to chop wood, gather herbs, clean the hearth, hang up the laundry to dry, weed the garden, prepare dinner, clean the futons and fix that leak in the roof, "Kagome surmised as they got closer to Kaede's house.

"You can always help me InuYasha. It would save me a lot of time," she insisted, hoping that InuYasha would take the hint and help.

InuYasha finally stopped and looked at anything but Kagome. Kagome gave him an exasperated look. He was going to do it again. He was going to make another excuse and leave.

"W-Well you see…, "InuYasha began with a stammer.

Before he could continue Kagome cut him off, her patience gone, "I don't care what your excuse is this time! You never help me! You always expect me to do everything for you and to be the responsible one! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of this!"

Kagome dropped the basket and walked up to the half-demon, poking her finger in his chest, "And I'm tired of you."

The miko caught her breath and took a step back. She felt the tears return to her eyes and they spilled over, "I love you InuYasha, but you're not ready for this. You're not ready for me."

InuYasha was speechless as Kagome continued, "We have been engaged for three years, yet we have not pushed forward to begin our life together. We barely spend time with one another anymore."

"When was the last time we kissed?" Kagome asked, staring at InuYasha.

He looked away once more, his face turning pink.

Kagome answered her own question, "Three months InuYasha. You should not be embarrassed about talking about a kiss or holding hands."

Kagome noticed his face get even darker. He was a teenager and this is how she acted when she was one herself. This is how her life would be with him and making this decision hurt her.

InuYasha barked out, "We can make this work Kagome! Just give me some more time!"

Kagome sobbed, "How much more time? Do you need ten years? How about twenty years? No? Then let's make it thirty. I am a human InuYasha. I only have so long on this Earth before I die and time is precious to me."

The half-demon took a step back, as if someone hit him in the gut. Kagome's bottom lip quivered as she turned around and made her way into the village. When InuYasha did not call out for her, she knew that he registered their conversation. Kagome hated to admit it, but ending their engagement took a weight off her shoulders.

Kagome kept herself busy until the sky began to darken. She did not want to think about her problems anymore and she did not want anyone to worry about her unnecessarily. The miko entered Kaede's house with a basket of vegetables from the garden to make dinner.

"Welcome home child," Kaede said as she took the basket from Kagome.

"Kagome is back!" Rin announced as she hopped away from the hearth.

Kagome smiled, "It is good to be home."

"Ye have been busy all day Kagome," Kaede chided.

"I had a lot to do today, but at least the roof is fixed now," Kagome laughed.

Kaede dipped her head, "Aye, but look at ye hands child."

Kagome looked down at her swollen fingers and realized how hard she worked today. There were nicks and cuts everywhere.

"Maybe, I should wash up," Kagome surmised.

Rin grabbed Kagome's arm led her to the medical supplies, "You should have asked for help."

She was being scolded by an adolescent teen, but Kagome could not admit that she did ask for help. The only problem is that she did not receive it. The miko relented, "You're right, I should have asked."

Rin smiled as she began to dress Kagome's wounds, "Sesshomaru is coming to visit next week. He said he would bring me a nice kimono for the festival."

"That is very nice of him. He has good taste in material. I'm sure this one will be just as pretty as the other ones," Kagome claimed.

Rin shook her head, "No, this one will be the prettiest."

Kagome chuckled, "You always say that Rin."

Rin just grinned up at Kagome and said, "Maybe he can bring you one. You haven't gotten a new kimono in a long time."

Kagome's eyes widened, "Sesshomaru has never given me a gift before and I would never expect to get one from him. He comes here to see you dear."

"I know that, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I will write him a letter right now," Rin announced as she finished Kagome's bandages. She rushed to her writing table and began the note.

"Y-You don't have to do that honey," Kagome rushed.

"I know I don't, but maybe getting a nice kimono will make you happy again," Rin clarified with finality.

Kagome sat back and looked from Rin to a knowing Kaede. Could they really tell that she was not happy? Did she wear her heart on her sleeve for all to see? She was perplexed, but said no more on the subject.