So, I was in the mood for writing, and I have an unadulterated loathing for math, so I came up with this. It's Gelphie, one-shot, musicalverse, Shiz-era. Please r&r!
I'd like to dedicate this to TheWitch'sDorothy, who shares my loathing for math, but reminds me to do it anyway! Also, for being one of my bestest friends, and my duet buddy. A bit of the dialogue also came from her. :D
The sky was a light blue, perfect for Galinda's mood. She and her girlfriend were sitting under a tree, enjoying the nice day. Elphaba was reading a book, with her expression slightly frowny, informing Galinda that she had to be reading something dark. Galinda, who had been merely dozing on Elphaba's shoulder, poked Elphaba and smiled. But Elphaba was ignoring her, so she leaned in, closer, and closer, and closer until her lips almost made contact-
SMACK.
Galinda gasped and shot herself into a sitting position. She wasn't outside at all. She was inside. She wasn't just inside; she was in class. Thank goodness she had Elphaba, or she'd just have fallen completely asleep. Still, she didn't appreciate the manner in which she was so rudely woken.
"What was that for?!" she hissed, making sure her lip gloss was still on her lips, and she hadn't accidentally been making out with a desk or something.
"What?"
Oh, that innocent voice!
"Why'd you punch me?"
Galinda glared at the board, until she heard small, muffled laughter. Elphaba was keeping her lips together, and failing at keeping a straight face. Galinda's cheeks burned, and she turned away.
"You were falling asleep."
What class was she even in? Galinda looked around, and for the first time, realized that all the other kids seemed to be paying attention. Except for Biq. Biq was staring right at her, with a creepy smile. Galinda tried to force a polite smile onto her face, but she was pretty sure it came out like a grimace, because Biq's face fell considerably.
Doctor Dillamond sat towards the front of the class, pointing at several things on the board, but Galinda couldn't make them out. She probably needed glasses, but they weren't popular. And who cared what class she was even in?
"Miss Glinda!"
Keep calm and smile.
"Yes, Doctor Dillamond?" Galinda asked, forcing a honey-sweet smile onto her face. That old Goat taught History, right?
"Can you tell me what Theorem 6.17 is?"
Thee-what something-seven what? Galinda's mouth dropped open; was she actually learning something else? Was she learning a foreign language? Maybe something from the Vinkus. Some long-lost language or something.
"I'm, I'm sorry, Doctor Dillamond, but I am just terrible with foreign languages and-"
A shove under the table. Elphie. Galinda turned to look at Elphaba mid-sentence, who seemed to be muttering something under her breath. It sounded like "ometry", but she couldn't quite hear. What was an ometry?
"Miss Glinda, you should know we're in Geometry class." Oh. Guess that's what ometry meant. "What is Theorem 6.17?"
Galinda thought for one moment. Doctor Dillamond taught History, so why in Oz was he yapping about Geometry or ometry or whatever? She'd have to ask Elphie later.
"Ahh... Serum 6.17... ("Theorem!" Elphaba hissed) I mean, Theorem 6... something is that... a number plus a number equals a number."
The room was silent.
"Galinda, can you tell me what you said today in Geometry class?"
Elphaba's voice jolted her out of her concentration; she was painting her nails pink and green. One of her fingers slipped, and she was left with an uneven streak of green. A small groan escaped her, and she chucked the bottle at Elphaba, who was used to it and leisurely caught it.
"I don't know. I thought he taught History or something. Why was he teaching ometry?"
Elphaba put the bottle of nail polish on Galinda's vanity and sighed. "He was the substitute teacher for Geometry. Really, you should've learned Theorem 6.17 by now. We've been over it for the past two weeks and-"
"Well, I'm just not as smartified as you, Elphie! Actually, I take that back. I'm very smartified. This is Geometry Honors. I'm in Geometry Honors."
Elphie couldn't top that. There was no way.
"Actually, I hate to break it to you, my sweet, but putting the fancy title of honors was the only way they could squeeze it into this university. A college-aged person should be taking Calculus. I personally took Geometry when I was in eighth grade, and you know I'm only retaking it to help you."
Of course. Elphie and her smart responses. It was partially why Galinda loved her.
"Why's Biq in that class, then? He's smartified too," she challenged, marching up to Elphaba and looking up. There was about a one foot height difference, annoyingly enough. Elphaba chuckled, wrapping her arms around Galinda's waist, making chills run run through her.
"Boq is in that class to stare at you."
An even smarter answer. Galinda nodded approvingly, tossing her hair.
"Well, I am impossibly popular. after all. But I'm taken..." A small smile crept up to her lips. "Wanna kiss a little, Elphie?"
To Galinda's dismay, Elphaba shook her head and took her arms off of her. "No," she said. "You need to learn all of these theorems and postulates. We have a quiz tomorrow, and if you fail it, you'll be in detention."
Galinda suddenly gasped. Panic now because my life is ending. "No!" she wailed, throwing herself into Elphaba's arms. "What ever will I do?"
She could feel Elphaba's hands rubbing her arms, and kissing the top of her head.
"You, Miss Galinda, need to stop your drama and let me help you. If you study, you'll pass, and we can do whatever you want tomorrow... anything at all..."
Oh, it sounded tempting. It really did. With a final sigh, Galinda wiped away her 'tears' and flopped down on the bed, throwing open her pink notebook. Elphaba sat next to her, amusedly thumbing through the pages.
"So the comment "Shen-shen, what does the first word say? Is it organism or orgasm?" is related to Geometry?"
Galinda turned red, snatching the notebook out of her girlfriend's hands. She had forgotten to toss the note. Shen-shen, who sat near her with perfect eyesight, had later told her it was 'organism'. Galinda had later thought about where the word orgasm had come from. She decided it had come from her slightly inappropriate daydreaming.
"That's none of your business, Elphie. Just tell me those stupid theorems and then we can study orgasms... I mean, we can study organisms." Her blush deepened.
Elphaba rolled her eyes, but began explaining the theorem to Galinda. Apparently, there were two parallel lines...? Parallel meant that they never touched, right? Just like Elphie and her! Elphie never seemed to want to touch her! Was she not pretty enough?!
"And so the midsegment is equal to the sum of both bases divided by... Galinda? My sweet, what's wrong?"
Galinda's throat was too tight for words. Instead, she allowed herself to be taken into Elphaba's arms again, where she felt safer. Happier.
"What is it?" came Elphie concerned voice.
Sniff. Sniff. Sob.
"We're like parallel lines... you never want to touch me! I want to be like... like... like those perpendicular lines!"
Sniff again. Whimper. Sniff.
"Oh, my sweet, don't think that! Of course I want to be a perpendicular lines with you... but first, you need to learn these rules!"
Whimper. Sob.
"Why did they come up with so many rules, Elphie? I don't like them! I'll never get them, and my life is going to end, and I'm going to crawl into a hole and die!"
Sniff-ooh, kiss on her head. Definitely not parallel.
"You will not, Galinda, because I will not let you. I'll sooner let that Winkie Prince steal my book again. Tell you what, we still have a bit of time left. All we need is for you to learn this theorem and then the Segment Addition Postulate, and then we can do whatever you want! We can study... organisms. Or orgasms, if you'd like."
Galinda perked up. Yes. Yes. She was going to learn her stupid math until she got her reward! When Elphaba tried to explain this time, she paid attention.
"Okay, so... it's like, in a trapezoid, they have two parallel lines. Not like us at all. They're connected by... legs...? Yes, legs. The parallel lines are the bases. The midsegment runs from the midpoints of each leg... to each other. And the length of that midsegment is... whatever both bases added together and divided by two is!"
Elphaba nodded, looking calmer. "You've got it. Thank Oz."
Galinda was suddenly struck by a thought. "Hey! It's sort of like us! It'll be like our own kid! Think about it, Elphie. You're six feet tall. I'm five feet tall. If we were parallel-which we're not-then we would be the bases. I'm technically like the icing on the cake, and you're the base, but it doesn't matter. So, our kid would be the midsegment! If you're six feet tall and I'm five... that makes eleven feet! Divided by two... five foot six! Out kid is going to be our midsegment, with a height of five foot six! A trapezoid family!"
Elphaba was actually smiling, as she ran a hand through her hair. "Well, you understand it. Now, let's start the Segment Addition-"
"Ooh, what should we name our kid?" Galinda was daydreaming again. "If it's a girl, let's name it Lurline-"
A sigh escaped Elphaba. She truly loved Galinda, but the girl could just not focus sometimes. "We'll discuss it when the time comes. Now, the Segment Addition Postulate. Read that paragraph."
Galinda tried reading in the dim light, but it wasn't working very well. She tried, but after a moment, she set it aside, putting her nose in the air.
"What's wrong now?" Elphaba's voice held no concern this time, but amusement and exasperation.
"I can't read it, Elphie!"
Another sigh.
"Galinda, I realize you're blonde and this must be very hard for you, but you can read. Don't act like you can't. I see you with the Ozmopolitan all the time."
Yet another sigh.
"Elphie, blondes can be smart! And I honestly can't read it." She attempted squinting as hardest as she could, but she just couldn't.
"Nessa, Boq, and I are not blonde, and we show signs of intelligence, while you and Fiyero are both blonde and you've yet to... okay, I'm sorry. Why can't you read it?" A sudden thought dawned on her. "Galinda, do you need glasses? Are you a visual learner?"
Woosh.
The notebook sailed across the room, landing against the door in a thud. Elphaba prepared herself for a flurry of attacks of an extremely high-pitched voice. A voice that annoyed her and yet brought happiness to her days.
"Elphie! Does it matter? No! It doesn't! So don't worry. I can see fine."
Elphaba groaned. She was going to see to it that Galinda got an eye test later. But they just needed to get through the Segment Addition Postulate.
"Okay. Whatever. Anyway, the Segment Addition Postulate simply states that if AB is equal to BC, then AB plus BC is equal to AC."
Sounds of breathing.
A pause.
"Elphie? Are you trying to teach me that weird language again? The one that you said was called French or something, from the Other World? I haven't learned anything about French except for one thing; je ne comprends pas. I don't understand."
Well, at least she'd learned something. Elphaba brushed that adorable curl which always fell over Galinda's left eye, and tried to think of a way to explain it. Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck her.
"Okay, there's a line. It's called Elphaba Thropp. ET, for short. And there's another line called Galinda Upland. GU, for short. So think. If ET is equal to GU, then they would be congruent, right?"
Galinda nodded, understanding better.
"So if ET is equal to GU, then that means that the length of ET and GU together would be the same to EU."
Galinda suddenly got it.
"Oh," she gushed. "Say we're marrying each other. You're ET, I'm GU. And we're getting married. Well, when we get together, that would mean that both of us combined would equal the entire thing. Us! So it would be ET, you, plus GU, me, equals EU! Elphaba Upland! I love it, Elphie!"
She began squealing, as Elphaba chuckled, starting to take out a book. But Galinda wouldn't hear of it.
"Don't get into your reading sulks, Elphie! You promised me to do what I wanted after we were done! And I want to kiss you."
Elphaba let a small smile crawl to her lips. "If my sweet commands, then I must obey."
And slowly, ET met GU, and they became EU in the night.