a/n: The title of this story is taken from the Pablo Neruda poem 'If you forget me'

a/n: The title of this story is taken from the Pablo Neruda poem 'If you forget me'. Read it, it's quite lovely. WARNING: This is sad...

1. Safe Haven

Hermione Granger walked into her ward at St. Mungo's and headed for the nurses station. She straightened her uniform and tightened the grips in her hair to ensure no stray tendrils would distract her. She looked at the notice board beside the desk, and scanned the roster for the night shift. Checking her watch, she tutted softly and then turned as she heard the familiar click of heels on the pristine laminate flooring.

A young medi-witch approached her, her eyes wide and her breath coming in short bursts.

'I am so sorry, Madame Granger,' she panted.

'Megan, please could you explain to me why you continue to be late? This is the third shift I am aware of.' Hermione looked at the witch calmly.

'I had problems leaving the house. My son Thomas just won't settle with his Dad. He screams the place down as soon as he knows I'm leaving.' Megan's voice trembled slightly.

Hermione looked at her closely. Megan had dark circles beneath her eyes, and strands of long blonde hair were escaping from beneath her hat.

'Take five minutes, okay? Get a cup of tea, and fix your hair properly. We're fairly quiet at the moment,' Hermione smiled at her warmly and was rewarded with a grateful 'Thank you' as Megan headed towards the staff room.

Hermione sighed. Megan was a kind and helpful medi-witch, but she had gone as far up the ladder of her profession as she would ever go. Hermione knew the witch had no ambition to progress within her field, but that didn't stop her being very fond of her. Hermione could rely on Megan to undertake the basic care of her patients with a great deal of respect and efficiency.

Hermione was very proud of her acute ward, although there were very few success stories. A patient had to be very sick to be admitted in the first instance. But there was a sense of satisfaction in knowing a person had been given the very best care in their last hours of life. Ever since the war, Hermione had been determined to allow people to die with as much dignity as possible. She felt that, in some way, it compensated for the tragic way she had lost many of her friends.

Hermione lifted her clipboard and flicked through the list. At the present time, she had three patients. Two were elderly and were suffering from degenerative brain diseases, which neither muggle medicine nor magic could cure. The third was a more distressing case, a twenty-five year old wizard who had developed a rare form of haemophilia, which was causing his white blood cells to attack themselves. Not even a Blood Replenishing Potion could reverse the effects. The wizards' parents were keeping a constant vigil, and this was where Hermione's skills really came into play, in supporting those left behind. By drawing on her own experiences, she brought whatever comfort she could to those close to her patients, often staying with them after their relative had passed to listen, empathise and provide endless cups of tea.

Megan arrived back just as a red memo flew down the hallway and landed in front of Hermione.

'Oh, dear,' Hermione murmured as she lifted it, recognising the notification of a new arrival to the ward. She opened the memo and shook her head sadly.

'Which room is free?' Megan asked quietly.

'Room four, Megan, if you don't mind. It has a nice view from the window.'

Hermione folded the memo and pulled out her wand. She flicked it quickly and a new file appeared, ready to be updated with the new patients' details. Hermione looked up just as Healer Penrose arrived.

'Hermione,' he looked at her with his piercing blue eyes, his dark hair swept back from his forehead slightly and a grim smile on his lips.

'Edward,' Hermione smiled softly up at him, 'update me, will you?'

'Of course. It's a sad case. She's only thirty, but she's in the advanced stages of cancer,' he murmured.

'Cancer? Why hasn't she been treated?' Hermione was confused. Magical medicines had been able to cure cancer for years.

'She a muggle, Hermione. It's complicated. You should speak to her husband.. He's distraught, Hermione. I couldn't get him to open up at all,' he said.

Hermione nodded her understanding. Edward was a brilliant Healer, but his bedside manner was often misinterpreted. After a year of working together, he had agreed to leave the delicate discussion to Hermione.

'Which room?' He asked her.

'Four. I'll be in shortly,' she replied.

Healer Penrose turned and walked back down the hallway. Hermione lifted her quill and clipboard, attached a piece of parchment and walked towards room four. She paused and took a breath, then knocked softly and opened the door.

Healer Penrose turned to her, his face set.

'Madame Granger,' he said quietly, 'this is Lucy, our new patient.'

Lying on the bed in the centre of the room was the most beautiful woman Hermione had ever seen. Her pale face was surrounded by soft, straw-coloured hair and her eyes were half-open as she looked up at her, her lips upturned in a small smile. Hermione smiled warmly at her.

'Hello, Lucy. How are you feeling?' Hermione asked her.

'Tired. And a little confused. Where is Severus?' she asked her.

Hermione's eyes widened and she looked up at Edward, who nodded, his mouth set in a thin line.

'Her husband,' he murmured.

'Where is he?' Hermione tried to keep her voice neutral, but her brain was working quickly, throwing up a million questions and suddenly making this situation more complicated, and for Hermione, more personal.

The door of the room opened, and Hermione gazed onto the pale, drawn face of her former teacher. He didn't look at her, or at Edward. His eyes were fixed on the woman in the bed, and he walked over to her bedside, sat down slowly and took her hand in his.

'Severus,' Lucy murmured, smiling at him.

'I'm here, my love,' he replied in a whisper.

2. A Road Seldom Travelled.

Edward motioned to Hermione, and they walked to the edge of the room.

'Okay if I leave you to it? He won't talk to me; there was never any love lost. You might have more luck.' He frowned a little as he spoke.

'That's fine. I'll see you later?' She smiled softly at him, and his eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned briefly.

'Yes, of course,' he said.

Hermione turned towards the bed and pondered her approach. She wondered if he had seen her or recognised her. Ten years was a long time, and he had changed himself. His hair was shorter, for one thing, and his frame was wider than she remembered. He looked healthier, although his face was showing the trials of his wife's illness that was certain. Deciding to treat him in exactly the same way as any other relative, Hermione smoothed the front of her uniform and walked over to the bed.

'I need to take some details, if that's okay?' she said quietly.

'There is nothing to say. My wife is dying. It is your duty to make the process as easy as possible, am I right?' he murmured, not taking his eyes from Lucy's face.

Hermione sighed. His tone hadn't changed, that was obvious.

'Why didn't you bring her sooner, sir?' Hermione didn't know how else to address him. 'She might have been saved.'

Severus Snape took a deep breath and raised his eyes to hers. He considered her for a moment, his gaze taking in her neat appearance and her calm face, and he decided to tell her the truth.

'Her illness was far more advanced than we realised when we initially sought treatment,' he murmured,' but in addition…' he raised his eyes to hers and held her gaze meaningfully. Hermione gasped softly and realised he wanted to use Legilimency to tell her something privately. She dropped her defences and let him in.

'In addition…' he continued, his voice brushing her mind softly, 'Lucy has no idea who I really am. She knows nothing of this world.'

Hermione felt her eyes filling slightly as she felt his pain, then the gentle brush as he left her mind. She stared into his dark eyes sadly and nodded in understanding.

Hermione opened the door of her small house and smiled down at Crookshanks softly.

'Guess who I saw today, Crooks?' she murmured. He looked up at her and his whiskers twitched slightly, his gaze steady. He didn't really care, he just wanted something to eat, but he humoured her and rubbed himself up against her legs gently.

'Professor Snape,' she said in response, 'can you believe it?' Hermione bent and scratched his head absently.

There was a knock at the door and Hermione opened it with a smile.

'Hey,' she said warmly as Edward stepped inside.

'Hello,' he grinned and bent his head to hers. He kissed her, softly, then more deeply, and Hermione relaxed against him with a contented sigh. They broke away, smiling at each other, and Edward lifted his hand. He was holding a paper takeaway bag and a bottle of wine.

'Thank god I don't need to cook,' Hermione said brightly, and walked ahead of him into her kitchen.

'How did it go?' Edward asked her as he folded his lithe frame into a chair and started to open the wine.

'It was hard. I feel so sad for him, you know,' Hermione bit her lip and took plates form the cupboard.

'He's changed a bit, actually. Still looks like a miserable arse, though,' he murmured.

'He probably is, but at the moment, he's also a grieving spouse and I will treat him accordingly. I never had a problem with him, really. And he did help us to win the war, after all.' Hermione took spoons out of the drawer and sat opposite Edward.

'Can't imagine Snape in love,' Edward smiled a little quizzically as if trying to picture the image in his head.

Hermione thought back to the sight of Severus Snape stroking his wife's face with his hand softly, and sighed.

'I can,' she murmured, ' because he definitely is in love with his wife.'

3. In the Still of the Night

It was three a.m., and Hermione was curled in the chair beside Lucy Snape's bed, reading a Jane Austen novel. Apparently it was Lucy's favourite and Hermione had been reading it aloud to her, until she fell asleep. She looked over the top of the book at Lucy's sleeping form and smiled a little.

There were ethical issues connected with using potion therapy on muggles, particularly where they were unable to give informed consent. Hermione had got around this by stating that Lucy was too sick to give her consent and that permission had been sought from her next of kin. Realising quickly that there was no cure for Lucy, and that to keep her calm and pain-free was the only solution, Severus had happily signed the required documentation, not meeting Hermione's eyes as his quill scratched the parchment.

The door of room four opened quietly and Severus Snape stepped inside. Glancing up, Hermione smiled softly and stood to give him the chair.

'She's sleeping,' she whispered.

Severus nodded and sat down wearily, rubbing his face and sighing as he did so.

'How long do we have, do you think?' he murmured quietly, his eyes gazing on Lucy's face.

Hermione paused. She was used to this question from relatives, but hearing it from he old teacher made it sound different and more poignant.

'Honestly?' she asked him, her voice level. He looked at her with serious eyes, and Hermione knew he needed to know. 'I think about a week, going by past experience. Maybe a little longer.'

Hermione didn't say sorry. It was futile, and she had a role to play. 'I'll bring you some tea,' she said, and walked quickly from the room.

When she returned, she could see the trace of tears on Severus's face. She didn't say anything, but slowly put a steaming mug of tea on the small table by the bed, and placed a box of tissues onto the bed beside him.

'Where did you meet Lucy?' she asked him quietly.

A ghost of a smile crossed Severus's face. 'We work together. Lucy teaches English,' he said.

'Have you been married long, sir?' Hermione knew she was probing, but she knew that talking could help, as well as answering her own curiosity about his life after the war.

'Almost two years,' he said softly, 'I took some persuading.' He laughed a little and looked down at his wedding ring, turning it around on his finger slowly.

'I can imagine,' Hermione smiled. 'She is very beautiful.'

'Inside and out. She is the kindest, most gentle soul, I have ever met,' he breathed, and Hermione heard the catch in his throat.

'Why didn't you tell her, about yourself I mean?' Hermione stepped a little closer, into his eye line, and he raised his face to look at her.

'After the war, I chose to live as a muggle and did so for many years before I met Lucy. She joined the staff at the school I was teaching at, and we became friends eventually. It was just easier to keep up the pretence, and to be honest I enjoyed it. It certainly made life simpler,' he said.

Hermione let out a slow breath and held his gaze. 'Life is not fair a lot of the time. But it seems to have given you more than your share of unhappiness,' she mused, half to herself.

'On the contrary Madame Granger. For the past four years, my life has been blissful.' He smiled sadly, and took Lucy's hand in his. She started to stir a little, and Hermione checked her gently.

'I'll give you some time. Don't forget your tea, sir,' she murmured.

A soft laugh came from the bed. 'Sir?' Lucy repeated, her voice light with amusement.

Severus looked into his wife's blue eyes and smiled warmly at her. 'I used to teach Madame Granger some years ago,' he responded.

'Poor Madame Granger,' she smiled at Severus and squeezed his hand tightly.

Hermione laughed softly, ' he wasn't that bad, really. It was mostly pretend. But don't tell him I knew that,' she said in a whisper, and Lucy laughed again.

Severus caught Hermione's eye and raised an eyebrow at her. She returned his gaze, held it for a moment and then turned, leaving the room quietly.

4. Bridge over Troubled Waters

Two days later, Lucy Snape was sitting up in bed, propped up by thick, comfortable pillows. Her long blonde hair was hanging loosely around her pale, heart-shaped face, but it didn't detract from her beauty. She has two pink spots on her cheeks and her turquoise eyes, frames with soft lashes, were sparkling slightly as she followed Hermione's movements around the room. Her pale pink rosebud-shapes mouth was turned upwards into a soft smile, as it always seemed to be. Hermione lifted her glass and encouraged her to drink the contents. It contained a Calming Draught as well as fruit juice, and Hermione wanted Lucy to drink as much as she could.

'Are you in pain at all?' she asked her quietly.

Lucy shook her head gently. 'Not at all, surprisingly.'

Hermione smiled. 'That's good. I lie my patients to be comfortable.'

Lucy smiled at her a little and patted the side of the bed. 'Come and talk to me, Madame Granger,' she said.

'It's Hermione,' she smiled warmly, and then pulled the chair up close to the bed.

'Hermione. Pretty name,' Lucy murmured. 'Tell me about Severus. What was he like?'

'Before you met him? Well, I only know him as my old teacher, really,' Hermione smiled softly as an image of Severus in his teaching robes flitted into her head.

'He must have taught you Chemistry,' Lucy mused, running her tongue across her lower lip slightly.

Hermione's brain clicked into gear as she adjusted her vocabulary. It was Chemistry, not Potions.

'That's right. He was a very good teacher, but so strict. With most people, anyway,' Hermione laughed softly.

'But not you?' Lucy smiled.

'I was his best student. Not that he would admit it! He did say some mean things though. I remember one time; he said something really nasty about my teeth. I burst into tears,' Hermione laughed at the memory, and Lucy joined in, her laughter soft and almost melodic.

'His bark is worse than his bite,' Lucy said, her eyes warm as she thought of her husband, 'he's quite soft, underneath, although you would never know it. It took me such a long time to get him to talk to me. Imagine how hard it was to persuade him that 'we' would be a good idea,' she laughed softly.

Hermione nodded and bit her lip in thought. 'I was surprised to know he had married, actually. But now I know you, I can totally understand it,' she smiled at Lucy.

'He's a wonderful husband, but I am so worried about him, Hermione. I don't know how he will manage, afterwards,' she said. Her voice broke and tears formed in her eyes.

Hermione gently took her hand. 'You know, then' she stated simply.

Lucy smiled sadly,' that it won't be long? Yes, I know. I'm not scared for myself. But it will be so hard for Severus.'

'Yes. I think it will be,' Hermione sighed softly.

'Will you promise me something, Hermione? I wouldn't ask, but there is no one else, and you know him. Look after him for me. Don't let him wallow in grief. It's not healthy, and I don't want him to be sad forever,' she whispered quietly.

Her eyes started to close, and Hermione watched as she drifted off to sleep. She wondered if Lucy knew the enormity of what she was asking her. Looking after Severus Snape was not a task to be undertaken lightly.

Hermione placed Lucy's hand back onto the bedclothes, and sat, listening to her breathing. She studied her gentle face for a moment, then felt her throat constrict slightly. Without meaning to, Hermione had become emotionally invested in her patient, and she knew she didn't have long left. Lucy had brightened up over the last two days as was common in such cases, and Hermione would be surprised if she was still here after tomorrow. A soft tear slid down her cheek, and as she brushed it away with the back of her hand, she heard the door open behind her.

Severus walked into the room and looked at his wife's form on the bed. He then realised that Hermione was weeping, and a sob escaped his throat.

'No,' he croaked, and dashed towards the bed. He fell to his knees and clutched at the bedclothes, and his tears started to fall.

Hermione gasped, and quickly walked around the bed, rested her arm around his shoulders and bent her head to his.

'It's okay. She's just sleeping,' she murmured, squeezing his arms reassuringly.

Severus shuddered, and his head fell onto the bed softly, his sobs subsiding slowly. Hermione continued to hold him for a moment, then patted his shoulder.

'Let's get some tea. We could both use a break from this room,' she said, her voice calm and soothing.

Severus lifted his head and brushed away his tears. 'Forgive me, Madame Granger,' he said hoarsely.

'Call me Hermione,' she replied, 'and there is nothing to forgive. You love your wife. Your response is to be expected. Come on. Tea. I insist.' Hermione pulled on his arm a little, and Severus nodded.

As they stepped out into the hallway, Hermione waved Megan over to her briskly.

'Megan, Mrs. Snape is sleeping. I am taking her husband for some tea. Please ensure she is never on her own. If there is any change, summon me in the usual way,' she instructed calmly.

'Of course, Madame Granger,' Megan looked from Hermione to Severus quickly, and then walked into Lucy's room.

'Thank you,' he murmured, holding her gaze. He seemed to be in awe of her, and Hermione smiled softly at him.

'It's no problem,' she replied.

Hermione took Severus into the staff room. There was a room for visitors, but she guessed he would prefer some privacy. The room was cosy, furnished with two over-stuffed armchairs and a two-seater sofa arranged around a circular coffee table. To one side of the room was a small kitchen area, and Hermione walked over and set about making a pot of tea.

'Take a seat, sir,' she said quietly.

'Call me Severus,' he muttered. Hermione had her back to him, and she paused her tea making briefly. Calling Professor Snape by his given name would take some adjustment.

When she had finished the tea, she turned to see that he had taken an armchair and was sitting with his legs crossed. He had rested his head against the back of the chair, and his eyes were softly closed. Hermione realised she was becoming accustomed to his face, and she could understand why Lucy had been so drawn to him. He wasn't good-looking in the conventional sense, but he had an interesting face.

'Here you are,' Hermione placed his tea in front of him, but he didn't move. She patted his knee softly. 'Severus?' she said.

His eyes fluttered open and he looked at her calmly. 'It's very peaceful in here,' he said, sitting up straight and lifting his tea.

'I like to keep it this way. There is a Silencing spell to keep the noise out, and another to keep the room at a constant temperature. My nurses need somewhere to relax properly. They have a very hard job,' she smiled at him.

'How long have they been 'your nurses'?' he asked her, his lips twitching into a smirk.

'Five years. And I worked damned hard to get here, too.' Hermione bristled slightly. She knew she was the youngest witch to reach her position, and she had had to fight off plenty of criticism, not to mention rumours that she had been unfairly favoured due to her part in Voldemort's downfall. The truth was she had studied long and hard, and gained her promotion through effort and good grades.

'I wouldn't have expected anything less. You seem well-suited to your role.' He observed her as she recognised the compliment, her cheeks flushing slightly.

'Thank you,' she replied.

'What of the others? Potter? Weasley?' he raised an eyebrow.

'You don't read the Prophet now, I take it?' she asked him.

Severus shook his head, 'Not since I started teaching again.'

'Well, if you were still reading it, you would know that barely a day goes past without Harry's name being mentioned somewhere. He married Ginny Weasley and they have three children. I see him now and then, but we don't really keep in touch,' Hermione paused, not wanting elaborate on that complicated situation.

'And Ron? Well, we did get together for a short while, after the war. But it never felt quite right. He works with Arthur now, at the Ministry and he's married now too, to Lavender Brown as was. They have four children,' Hermione smirked as Severus rolled his eyes slightly, 'they all have red hair, too,' she laughed at the scowl on Severus's face. 'I thought you would like that,' she grinned at him.

'And you? Married to the job, or to some other lucky wizard?' he asked her quietly.

Hermione shook her head. 'Not married. But I am seeing Healer Penrose. It's been almost a year now, actually,' she smiled.

Severus nodded, ' He seems intelligent, if a little dry,' he murmured.

Hermione looked at him coolly and he shrugged. 'Just an observation,' he said.

Hermione smiled warmly at him and started to giggle a little. 'You know, you're absolutely right. Edward is a little dry. But he is very good to talk to,' Hermione held his gaze and sipped her tea, 'and that's not all he is good at.' Hermione winked at him and smiled a little, then averted her eyes.

Severus stared at her for a moment and then let out a loud bark of laughter, and started to shake as he chuckled, spilling his tea a little.

Hermione smiled at him. It was the first time she had heard him laugh. They drank the remainder of their tea in comfortable silence.

5. To Sleep, No More to Dream

Hermione and Edward were standing at Lucy's bedside. Edward was reading through her medical notes, while Hermione distracted Lucy by pretending to take her pulse. In her other hand, and out of Lucy's eye line, Hermione flicked her wand to carry out her diagnostic checks. Her heart sank and she caught Edward's gaze, shook her head and frowned sadly.

'I'll stay here while you get him,' Edward murmured.

Hermione laid her hand against Lucy's forehead. She felt cool to the touch and her breathing was becoming shallow. Over the past two hours, she had been drifting in and out of consciousness, and Hermione knew it was almost Lucy's time.

With a deep breath, she walked to the staff room, where Severus had gone for a break a few minutes beforehand. He had rarely left Lucy's side. Watching her as she started to slip away from him was draining him emotionally, and exhausting him to such a point that he could hardly function without Hermione telling him when to take a break, when to eat, and when to sleep. As she pushed open the door, she saw him leaning against the sink, his face drawn, dark circles below his eyes as he stared vacantly into space.

'Severus,' Hermione spoke calmly and cut through his reverie. His eyes met hers, and she knew by the firm set of his jaw that he knew why she was there. In two strides, he was at the door, and she held it open for him, following him as he walked the now familiar path to Lucy's room.

Edward moved away from the bed and allowed Severus to sit next to Lucy. He took her hands in his and leant forward, pressing his lips softly to hers. Lucy smiled, not opening her eyes, and whispered something to him. Severus turned to Hermione, his eyes swimming with desperate longing for a few days more with his wife.

'She wants you,' he said in a hoarse whisper.

Hermione walked close to the bed and leant her head close to Lucy.

'I'm here,' she said quietly.

Lucy smiled again and whispered, 'Promise me.'

Hermione gazed at her for a moment, and soft tears began to fall down her face. 'I promise. As much as he will let me,' she replied softly. She stepped over to Edward, who looked at her and frowned. 'Later,' Hermione murmured under her breath.

Edward nodded, but Hermione could see by his face that he wasn't happy.

'Call me, when you need me,' he nodded over to the bed and Hermione smiled sadly.

'I will.' She watched as he left the room and quietly closed the door. Turning, Hermione pulled the chair away from the bed and sat quietly. Waiting was all they could do. They stayed silent for a few moments, and then Severus lifted Lucy's book. He opened it at the marked page and began to read.

"The cruelty, the impolitic cruelty,' he replied, with great feeling, 'of dividing, or attempting to divide, two young people long attached to each other, is terrible; Mrs Ferrars does not know what she may be doing – what she may drive her son to"… '

Lucy sighed deeply, and the hand that Severus had been holding gently, slipped from his fingers and onto the bedclothes. He stopped reading and looked at his wife, he face set in a pale mask, and he slowly closed the book.

The sun was shining as they walked away from the graveside, but Hermione shivered slightly. Edward wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she smiled up at him gratefully.

A woman with fair hair and eyes the same as Lucy's walked up to them and smiled sadly.

'Madame Granger?' she asked her.

'Yes?' Hermione replied.

'I'm Anna, Lucy's Aunt. I wanted to thank you for the kindness you showed her. Her husband said you were a great comfort to them both,' she said softly.

'I did what I could. I know Lucy lost her parents, but she didn't mention you,' Hermione smiled sadly.

'I live in Italy. I tried to get back to see her. I was a day too late.' Anna let her tears fall down hr face.

'She was a lovely person,' Hermione murmured.

'Yes, she was,' Anna smiled. 'He made her happy, you know. I never understood it myself; he is an odd chap. But he was what she wanted. Poor man, he seems so lost, doesn't he?'

Hermione followed Anna's gaze. Severus hadn't moved from the grave and was standing like a tall, black statue, his hands clasped in front of him, his head bowed.

'I'll go. Edward, could you escort Anna?' Hermione looked at him meaningfully. They had argued over Hermione's promise to Lucy, but she was determined to see it through. He had no one else. Edward said nothing, but nodded.

Hermione walked up the thin, paved walkway between the neatly tended graves. She wasn't nervous about approaching him, because he wasn't her teacher any more. The past week she had spent with him had broken through those barriers. When she reached his side, she said nothing, but linked her arm through his, letting him know she was there. Her eyes scanned the various floral tributes and the pictures that had been drawn by some of the pupils from Lucy's class. On top of the still exposed coffin, there was a single white rose from Severus, and Hermione felt a tear run down her face. She could almost feel the waves of grief pulsing from him.

'I cannot leave her,' he whispered.

'You can, but you don't want to. There's a difference,' Hermione said softly.

'I don't know what to do,' he said.

'I know. I think that you just have to remember to keep breathing, then take it from there.' Hermione looked up at him, and he turned to face her. Their eyes met, and Hermione could see unshed tears in his eyes.

'Maybe you could start by saying goodbye?' Hermione whispered softly.

A low moan escaped him, and he started to sob. Gently, Hermione wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her. He didn't respond at first, but slowly, he raised his arms and hugged her tightly, allowing his head to fall to her shoulder as he wept uncontrollably into her chestnut curls.

Hermione didn't know how long they had been standing there, but when clouds started to obscure the sun and she felt telltale drops of rain, signifying the start of a summer shower, she gently pulled away from Severus and handed him the crumpled wad of tissues from her jacket pocket. He took them and wiped his eyes, then took a long shuddering breath.

'Forgive me,' he murmured.

Hermione stared at him for a brief moment, wondering why he wanted forgiveness for his grief. She would have been more concerned had he shown no emotion at all.

'Let's get you home,' she said quietly, linking her arm in his and pulling him with her.

Severus glanced back briefly, and then reluctantly started to put one foot in front of the other.

6. Tomorrow is Another Day

Hermione put down her quill and sighed deeply. Lucy's death had affected her more than she had realised at the time, and she often found her thoughts drifting to the young woman who had been so cruelly cut down just as her life was starting.

It was also making Hermione take stock of her own life, and she had just made a radical decision to take six months leave. She had discussed it at length with the chief medi-wizard and had assured him that she would return to her post. She just needed some space to breathe.

She also needed some time away from Edward. She bit her lip thoughtfully, pondering their current impasse. His proposal had come out of nowhere, or so it had seemed at the time. Then he had explained that Lucy's death had also made him think about his own life, and his own future. He wanted a wife and children, and life was too short to put that off for much longer, he had said to her. And Hermione could understand his thinking. But where Edward had the urge to settle and put down roots, Hermione wanted to grab life with both hands and go and experience some of the world, before domestic life took over. She also wanted a family and a husband to share life with, but not right now. And she had never seen herself walking down the aisle with Edward.

Shaking her head, Hermione folded the parchment and handed it to the owl beside her. She knew it was cowardly to tell him she was going away in a letter, but she knew that if she tried to tell him to his face, they would argue, and she really didn't want to part on bad terms. She glanced at the clock and stood up hastily. She was running late. She grabbed a handful of Floo powder and left.

Severus sat staring at his fireplace with a scowl on his face. He knew she wouldn't want to hear what he had to say, and he hated to let her down. But he just couldn't do it. It was as simple as that.

He let his gaze drift to the framed photograph above the mantle, and smiled sadly. His wedding day had been his happiest, but each day without Lucy made it feel like a different lifetime. In fact, there were some days he looked back and it felt as if he was watching somebody else's' life, as if Lucy had never really been his. He was scared he was forgetting her, and he looked at the photograph often, so he would always remember her face.

In the beginning, time had passed slowly. Nights had been spent in endless hours awake, staring at the ceiling, or pacing the house. Many a stray cat would find Severus Snape for company when he was walking at three o'clock in the morning, until eventually exhaustion would win out, and he would sleep for days on end. Well, he would have done if Hermione had let him.

Then there was the crying. It washed over him in waves when he least expected it, leaving him an emotional mess and his eyes red raw from brushing his tears away in frustration.

And then had come the anger. For a full week, he hated Lucy for leaving him, hated Hermione for trying her hardest to keep her promise and most all, he hated all of those couples wrapped around each other when he went walking, holding hands, kissing, smiling, laughing and generally being in love. Couldn't they see he was in pain? Didn't they understand that their happiness compounded his loneliness? No one understood how he was feeling, and his anger had boiled over during one of Hermione's regular visits. He had railed at her, shouted, used his wand to try and hex her, and she had stood there calmly and let him, until the fight went out of him, and he broke down in sobs yet again.

Severus jumped as Hermione stepped out of the Floo, and grimaced a little as she looked about the room.

'I still don't understand why you had to move back here,' she frowned at him, brushing the soot from her clothes.

'I couldn't stay in the other house. I told you that before. And besides,' Severus stood up slowly and towered over her slightly, 'it suits my mood.'

'It's only been five months, Severus. No one expects you to get through this overnight, but really. Holing yourself up here,' she shook her head, ' it's not healthy.'

'Did you speak to Edward?' Severus arched his eyebrow at her.

'Clever change of subject,' Hermione plonked herself down into an armchair, 'and no. I didn't. I owled him, actually.'

'Cowardly of you,' he murmured.

Hermione flushed slightly and stared up at him. 'I know,' she agreed, biting her lip, 'but I couldn't bear a scene, especially when he finds out you're coming with me.'

Severus hesitated for a brief moment, then took a breath, 'I'm not coming, Hermione.'

'What?' she raised her eyes and caught his gaze, 'but we agreed. It will do you good, and we both need a break. Don't be silly. You have to come.'

Severus's jaw set firmly and he scowled at her. 'You know, I am getting tired of you telling me what I should do and what is good for me. I do not think you promised my wife that you would brow beat me into taking a holiday I do not want to take,' he said slowly, a slight edge in his voice.

Hermione paled slightly and felt as if he had slapped her. He was right. The only reason she had visited him in the beginning was to fulfil Lucy's promise, but more recently she had hoped they had become friends and that he enjoyed her company as much as she enjoyed his. It seemed she had assumed too much. She stood up and grabbed some Floo powder, then turned to him.

'You're right, Severus. Forgive me. I think I have fulfilled my promise to Lucy, as I said I would. I hope you can find happiness again someday,' she nodded at him as he stared at her, his mouth open as he realised she was leaving without trying to change his mind.

'Hermione, I..' he started, not knowing what it was he wanted to say.

'It's perfectly all right, Severus. I understand. Perhaps I will owl you on my return, see how you're getting on?' she smiled at him a little, then Flooed away.

Severus stared at the empty space where she had been standing, and realised that he had just pushed away his only friend.
7. Changes

Hermione grabbed her rucksack and hooked it over her arm. She lifted her books, put her hat and sunglasses on, and pushed open the door to her rented apartment. She stepped out into the Spanish sunshine and smiled as she glanced up at the azure-blue sky. She stepped lightly down the stone steps and onto the dusty brown road, tracing her usual route down to the beach. Her hair was flecked with gold and bronze streaks, and her skin had taken on the healthy glow of an English girl who had lived abroad for just over a month.

As she neared the sea, Hermione stepped into a corner shop, lifting her sunglasses and blinking, as her eyes grew more accustomed to the darker interior.

'Hola, Marco,' she smiled at the elderly man behind the counter.

'Hola, Missy,' Marco grinned his gap-toothed smile at her and handed her two cans of diet fizzy orange and a take-away cardboard cup of black coffee.

Hermione grinned at him. 'You know me too well, Marco,' she laughed.

'Si, Missy,' he nodded, and chuckled at her as she handed over her euro.

Hermione put the cans into her bag and lifted her coffee, said a quick goodbye to Marco and stepped back into the sun. She walked to her usual spot on the beach, sheltered between a couple of large rocks, and threw her towel down onto the soft sand before sitting and looking out to sea. She sipped at her coffee thoughtfully. She was going to miss this, but she was missing home more. Tomorrow would have been Lucy's birthday, and Hermione wondered how Severus was coping.

Her initial disappointment and hurt that Severus hadn't joined her had turned to anger after the first week, and she had wholeheartedly thrown herself into her new environment in spite of him. More recently, however, she found herself wondering how he was getting on, and she had been tempted to send him a postcard. She thought against it in the end. He knew where she was staying; they had chosen the place together after all. If he had wanted contact, he could have found her.

Hermione lifted her book and opened it with a contented sigh.

She had left early the next day. It had taken her almost three hours to Apparate in stages, and she arrived home exhausted but grateful to be there. There was a small amount of Muggle post, mostly bills, but the letter that surprised her the most was the one from Edward. It had been left propped up against the mug tree on her kitchen counter, and inside the envelope, with the letter, was her spare front door key. She sighed deeply as she opened the parchment and started to read.

'Dear Hermione,

I cannot begin to express my feelings. It had taken me more than one attempt at this letter, as you can imagine. What were you thinking? You, of all people, should know that getting close to your patients in not healthy. Now, it would seem, you intend to take the place of Lucy Snape. That is beyond the call of duty in my opinion, unless you harboured a secret crush on your potions master that you chose not to share with me? Are you taking the opportunity to make yourself indispensable to him? I am sure you are well able to fulfil his physical needs, as well as his emotional.

You could have spoken to me.

I am enclosing your spare key. I will not need it in the future.

Edward'

Hermione stared at the page in shock, her jaw dropping as she scanned his words again. 'How dare he,' she hissed quietly as she crumpled the parchment in her hand.

Hermione couldn't believe it. Was that really what Edward thought? She mused a little and bit her lip. They had argued more than once about her continued contact with Severus, but there had never been an ulterior motive on Hermione's part. She liked Severus and enjoyed his company and conversation, but the thought of replacing Lucy had never crossed her mind. She was with Edward, and being unfaithful was not part of her make-up. In addition, she had never considered Severus in a physical way, although she was thinking about it now. She wondered how he was coping with that side of losing Lucy. She knew they had a very physical relationship and had been trying for a family before Lucy's diagnosis, and it was yet another loss for Severus to grieve over.

Hermione glanced at her watch. It was almost noon and she had considered getting lunch. Suddenly, she wasn't hungry, and there was somewhere she needed to go.

8. Many Happy Returns

Severus felt numb as he pulled on his jeans. His mouth felt a little fuzzy from the Firewhisky the night before, and the owl tapping his window was working itself into a frenzy.

'Fuck off,' he muttered under his breath, but he was so tired there was no force behind it. He struggled to his feet and opened the small window. The tawny owl blasted past him in a whirl of downy feathers, losing some in its haste. It hooted in a disgruntled way and Severus scowled at it.

'Just give me the letter. I'm in a worse mood than you will ever be,' he grumbled. The owl rolled its eyes at him, and he was reminded of Hermione's response to his sarcasm. He took the envelope from the owl without looking at it, his thoughts on the young woman who had supported him, or had at least tried to.

With a grimace, he acknowledged that his life had taken a downward turn after her departure. He only had to glance around the room he was in to see that. At least when he knew she would be visiting, he cleaned up a little, even if it was only cursory. Now, there were a couple of empty Firewhisky bottles sitting on various surfaces. There was also one under the sofa, but he had forgotten about that. A film of dust covered everything except his wedding photograph. It was the one thing he continued to dust each day. When Hermione visited he would also take the time to shower and shave, knowing that if he didn't, she would badger him until he had to shuffle upstairs and carry out his ablutions, then shuffle back down the stairs ready for inspection afterwards. With a sigh, Severus wished, not for the first time, that he had just gone with her. But it hadn't seemed right, going away with another woman so soon after Lucy. He knew his reasoning was twisted. Lucy had liked Hermione, and she was just a friend, nothing more. If she had been male, perhaps it would have been different. Running his hands through his hair, he realised he hadn't showered in almost two weeks and could almost smell himself. He would need to spruce himself up for today.

He stood and lifted down his wedding photograph. The confetti appeared to be in stasis, Lucy's blue eyes looking upwards as she laughed brightly, clutching his hand to her chest. He was beaming at her, his eyes never straying from her face. He wished now that he had employed a wizard and not a Muggle photographer, to capture the scene as it had played out. He remembered it vividly, the confetti falling, Lucy's melodic laughter, and then a cheer from the gathered guests as she had turned to him and planted a huge kiss on his lips. He had blushed, and she had teased him, but he hadn't really minded. He had just murmured that he wasn't a lover of public displays of affection, and she had laughed and kissed him again.

A small smile played on Severus's lips, and as he ran a finger down the edge of her cheek, a tear fell onto the glass. He hadn't even realised he was crying.

'Happy Birthday, my love,' he whispered softly.

An hour later, after a long hot shower and a badly needed change of clothes, Severus waked back into his lounge. He grimaced as the sour and musky smell of stale Firewhisky hit his nostrils. He lifted his wand and cleaned as much of the room as he could, Accioing the empty bottles and walking through with them to the kitchen. He still didn't use magic very often, but he was in a hurry today.

He glanced down briefly at the unopened letter that he had left on the sofa. The red wax seal, bearing the familiar Hogwarts insignia in sharp relief, told him all he needed to know. Minerva had been writing to him every month since she had heard about Lucy's death, and every month he read her missals and ignored them. He wasn't ready to experience much of the outside world yet.

He brushed his hair behind his ears. It had grown longer, and as he looked in the mirror, he realised that he looked much the same as he had done when teaching at Hogwarts. Despite the Muggle clothes – a shirt that Lucy had bought him for Christmas, and a pair of jeans they had bought together on a shopping trip – he still favoured black. At least he was clean shaven and looked half presentable, he thought, mentally shrugging. He glanced briefly down at Lucy, grabbed his outdoor jacket and his wallet, and left.

As he arrived at the Cemetery, it started to drizzle with rain. He lifted the bouquet of white roses and cradled them in his arms. He berated himself for not applying a stasis charm to protect them from the weather, but he was not the only person visiting the graveyard and he would look a bit odd if he started waving his wand about. He walked up the thin path to the top of the hill. Lucy's grave wasn't the most recent, but it was in a less populated part of the grounds. Normally, this meant that Severus could visit in peace and quiet, and think his thoughts in private. However, as he climbed further up, he noticed that there was already someone at the grave, kneeling and pulling up some stray weeds. As he walked closer, he could see that although her hair had been lightened by the sun, and that she had come out unprepared for the weather, her arms bared in a pale blue short sleeved T-shirt that showed off her obvious tan, Hermione had come to visit Lucy on her birthday. His stomach flipped over with warmth for her. She had been genuinely fond of Lucy, and she hadn't forgotten her.

As he walked closer he slowed his steps a little. He could hear her singing. Her voice was soft and light, nothing special, but she was able to hold the tune and the notes, although he detected a small catch in her voice.

'Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you…' her voice faltered for a moment and Severus watched her brush tears away with the back of her hand.

'Do you think she can hear you?' he asked her quietly.

Hermione brushed her hands on her trousers and stood, looking down at her handiwork.

'I like to think so,' she smiled, not looking at him.

Severus noticed that a bright red pelargonium had been planted to the right of the headstone, a rusty old trowel and an empty plant pot beside it.

'Did you plant that?' he murmured.

'Yes,' she sighed, 'I was telling Lucy about Spain and the woman who lived in the apartment below me. She had window boxes that trailed with red pelargonium. They were so cheerful and bright. I thought she would like it,' Hermione turned and looked at him, taking in his dour appearance, but glad to see he looked much as he had before she left, which meant he was at least eating.

Severus looked at her, his eyes compelling her to see that he was sorry for pushing her away. 'Are you back for long?' he asked her.

Hermione sighed a little. 'I don't know yet. Things have changed a little, so I might go away again. I was thinking about Italy, or maybe Greece. Are you well, Severus?'

'As well as can be expected, I imagine. I couldn't really say. You have been a better judge of how I am recently,' he twisted his mouth up in a small smile and she smiled softly back at him.

'Lovely roses,' she nodded at the bouquet.

'Lucy's favourite,' he responded, feeling awkward but not knowing what to say.

'I'll leave you to say Happy Birthday, then. Take care of yourself, Severus.' Hermione rested her hand on his arm briefly, then lifted her trowel and walked back down the path.

Severus watched her for a moment and then turned, kneeling to put his flowers on Lucy's grave. With swift slight of hand, he cast a semi-permanent charm on the roses. They wouldn't last forever, but they would still be here in a months' time. His hand touched the soft tufts of grass that had started to grow, and his gaze fell on her headstone.

'I miss you,' he said sadly, 'I miss you…'
9. Insomnia

Hermione was curled up in her chair, reading a book about traditional Italian culture. After making her destination choice, she had done what she usually did when a new subject presented itself and started her research. She wasn't leaving for another two days, but she was enjoying the preparation, and it also took her mind away from Edward.

He had sent her another letter, apologizing for the tone of his first one and explaining he had written in haste and hadn't really meant what he had said. He had wanted to remove it before she returned home, but because his spare key was in the envelope, he hadn't been able to. Hermione had pondered his words for a few days, before replying very sweetly, accepting his apology but pointing out that it was probably better this way. She had been away from St Mungo's for almost two months, and the more time she spent travelling the more she was enjoying it. And the less she missed Edward. Being single seemed the way forward, and she was having a really good time without him. She felt a small pang occasionally. Let's face it, Hermione wasn't one for one night stands and she did miss the regular sex. Fortunately, she had discovered Ann Summers and their very effective range of battery operated equipment, so her immediate needs were taken care of. The feeling of being held by someone, and the scent of male flesh as she snuggled into a well-formed chest… well, even Ann Summers couldn't help her with that one.

Hermione snaked her hand out and lifted the large glass of red wine to her lips. It was Italian and expensive, from the region she intended to visit, and it was like nectar on her tongue. With the homemade lasagne in the oven almost ready, Hermione was embracing her research with relish.

When the doorbell rang, Hermione was just lifting the very hot pasta from the oven. Resting it on top of the hob, she walked to the door and rehearsed a speech in her head. 'It's not a good time Edward, I'm about to go to bed, Edward'. She opened the door and gasped.

'Severus!' she said in shock. It was raining heavily, and he was soaked through, his dark hair hanging wet and dripping around his face. His eyes were unsure and Hermione could see the dark circles beneath them. 'For Gods sake, look at you. Come inside,' she muttered.

Severus stepped over the threshold tentatively. He had never visited her flat before, although she had invited him occasionally.

They stood in the hallway for a moment, and a puddle of water dripped from Severus's trousers onto the floor. Hermione glanced down and frowned slightly.

'You need to take your clothes off. How long were you standing in the rain?' she said briskly.

Severus shivered a little and looked down at his feet. 'I walked here from my house,' he said quietly.

'But that must have taken you an hour,' she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

'I didn't ring the bell straight away. I stood outside for a while,' he said.

'Why?' Hermione put her hands on her hips and felt her frustration start to rise.

'I wasn't sure what kind reception I would receive. And I did think that perhaps Edward would be here,' he looked down the hallway into the kitchen.

'Edward's not here. Let's get you dry, and then we can talk. I bet you haven't eaten, have you?' Hermione bustled past him and waved him up the stairs after her.

Like a sheep following a shepherd, Severus followed Hermione without argument.

They sat opposite each other at her kitchen table, eating the lasagne and drinking another bottle of the red wine. Severus was warm and dry after a hot shower, and Hermione had magically laundered his clothes for quickness, so he had something to put on afterwards. He was grateful, but they had barely spoken since he had entered the kitchen and she had put his food in front of him.

Hermione used the last bit of bread to mop up the pasta sauce and ate it with gusto, washing it down with a large gulp of wine. The alcohol was going to her head a little.

'Edward and I have split up,' she mumbled as she put the glass back onto the table.

Severus lifted his own wine glass and peered at her over the top of it briefly.

'Why?' he murmured, aware that she was a little tipsy. He had never seen her like this before and it was amusing him.

Hermione opened her hands wide in a 'can you believe' it gesture and said 'He proposed,' as if that was explanation enough.

'And that was a problem, was it?' Severus smirked as she scowled at him in response.

'Does it improve things, Severus? Getting married, I mean?' Hermione leant forward on the table, knocking her empty wine glass over with a clunk. Severus lifted it and smiled at her.

'It did for us. It depends what you're looking for, I suppose,' he mused.

'What was better? Did you argue less, or feel differently about each other,' she grinned a little lopsidedly, 'or did the sex get better?' Hermione snorted and put her hands over her face in embarrassment, and Severus laughed at her.

'You need coffee,' he said, and stood, trying to find his way around her small kitchen. He found an old jar of a non-descript blend and put a large spoonful into a mug.

'You didn't answer my question,' she muttered, turning and staring at him as he poured hot water onto the coffee, stirred it and handed it to her.

'No I didn't,' he chuckled, 'but because I know you won't drop it; we never had an argument that I can recall. Being married just made me feel more secure. According to Lucy, that was what I needed,' he smiled ruefully as he sat down.

'And the sex?' Hermione stared at him.

'Was always good,' he murmured and averted his gaze, sipping deeply from his glass.

'Did it get better?' she pushed him, not really understanding why it was important.

'Are you regretting breaking up with Edward?' he asked her, avoiding the question.

Not being able to hold Lucy and make love to her was the one thing he tried the hardest not to think about, and the main thing that kept him awake at night. Sometimes, the pain was unbearable, and it was this that had set him out walking tonight. He hadn't intended to visit Hermione, but his feet seemed to know what he needed better than he did himself.

'No, I don't regret it at all,' Hermione drank her coffee and her mouth twisted, 'Yuk, Severus. This is horrible. No, I just miss having someone, anyone. I miss being hugged,' she smiled sadly, 'and you do too, don't you?'

Their eyes met, and Severus knew she was seeing him, really seeing him, and that she understood him and all the confused emotions that made up his life right now.

'I should have come with you, to Spain. I'm sorry I didn't,' he said.

'That's okay. You can come with me to Italy, instead,' Hermione lifted the wine and poured herself another half-glass, not watching Severus's face.

'Okay,' he said, and reached for the bottle, pouring himself another glass.

10. Italy

Two days after Severus's impromptu arrival at her door, Hermione was standing outside his, waiting for him to respond to her knocking. They had agreed that she should Apparate rather than Floo there with her luggage, after a disastrous attempt earlier in the day when her suitcase became wedged at one end, with her arm stretched to it's limit at the other. The fact that she had broken down in a fit of giggles, making her totally incapable of dealing with the situation, had irked Severus no end.

Severus knew that taking a trip was probably a good idea. But he felt as if he was leaving Lucy behind, and the guilt had started to eat away at him since the afterglow of the red wine had faded. He hadn't said anything to Hermione. He couldn't let her down again. But his stomach was tying itself in knots, and making him even grouchier than was usual for him. He heard her knocking impatiently, and flung open the door with a scowl.

'I see Apparating proved a safer option,' he grumbled at her as she pushed her way through into the lounge and dumped her case with a bang on the wooden floor.

'I can do without your bad mood, Severus. I know going away for the first time without Lucy is going to be hard, but try not to take it out on me, will you?' Hermione said directly, her eyes flashing.

Severus glared at her. Damn this witch. She could see through him at every turn.

'I preferred you when you were my student, and I had the option of detention if your tongue ran away with you,' he murmured, holding her gaze firmly.

'I'm sure,' Hermione grinned at him, and the mood was broken. 'You won't make me miserable, Severus, no matter how hard you try. I've been really looking forward to this trip.'

'I'll get my bag,' he muttered, then turned and stomped up the stairs.

Hermione glanced around the room a little. Severus had done his usual lick and polish, but there were tell tale smudges of dust on the surfaces, and the insides of the windows were smeared with dirt. She wondered if Lucy had ever visited the house, but then remembered that she had had no idea of his life as a wizard, so the likelihood was that she hadn't. It was totally different to the house Severus had shared with Lucy, which had been bright and airy, and exactly the same as the other six houses in the small cul-de-sac. If Hermione hadn't been used to Hogwarts and the dungeons, Spinners End would have freaked her out completely.

Hermione's eye was caught by the familiar handwriting on the letter above the fireplace and she lifted it down and turned it around slowly. The Hogwarts seal was still intact, and she ran her fingertips across it with a small sentimental smile on her face. Even now, she missed her old school. She dropped the letter with a start, however, when Severus coughed loudly behind her.

'Gods, Severus, you made me jump,' she said, picking up the letter and putting it back where she found it.

Severus watched her closely, but said nothing. He hadn't told her about Minerva's correspondence, because he knew she would go on at him until he wrote back. And there were some things in his life he wished to keep private.

'I'm ready,' he murmured.

'Good,' Hermione smiled at him, then turned back to the mantle piece. She lifted his wedding photograph and handed it to him. 'Let's bring Lucy with us,' she said softly.

Severus paused and looked at her, his eyes softening slightly. He shook his head.

'No, I don't think so. I need to do this alone,' he replied. He pushed her hand back to the mantle and they replaced the photograph together. Taking her hand gently, he squeezed it a little and smiled at her. 'Thank you for the thought, Hermione,' he said.

'You're welcome,' she smiled at him and looked down to where he was still holding her hand. His flesh was warm, his skin smooth. It wasn't what she would have expected.

Severus let go of her hand and lifted his bag, 'Come on woman, before I change my mind,' he said.

Hermione followed him as he walked out of the door, wondering why she suddenly had a small knot in her stomach.

Monte Argentario was situated off the coast of Orbetello in Tuscany. It had taken Hermione hours of pouring over guidebooks and maps before she had chosen the place, but as they walked up the slight incline to the villa, she knew she had made the right choice. As they reached the top of the hill, she turned and looked down over Le Cannelle beach, with it's inviting turquoise water and lush green backdrop. She took a deep breath and smiled. It was almost too perfect for words. She turned to Severus, who was also taking in the view.

'Well? Good choice?' she asked him brightly.

'Good choice,' he nodded.

'Salve!' a female voice called down to them from the front steps of the villa, and they turned to see a young woman with long black hair waving at them.

'That must be Ines,' Hermione said, 'come on, I can't wait to see inside.'

Hermione walked up the steps and shook hands warmly with Ines.

'Salve, Ines, I'm Hermione, and this is my friend, Severus,' Hermione smiled at her.

Ines had the darkest brown eyes Hermione had ever seen, and her hair shone in the sunlight. She was wearing a simple white T-shirt and pale beige trousers, and on her feet she wore strappy leather sandals. Like most Italians, Ines looked very classy without even trying. She smiled at them both, flashing a row of perfect white teeth.

'Welcome to Villa Castalia,' Ines spoke in a rich deep voice and her English was perfect.

'It's so beautiful,' Hermione breathed as she gazed up at the red tiled roof. There were vines along the fascia covered in fresh, green leaves and small bunches of green grapes, and terracotta pots full of brightly flowering nasturtiums dotted around the narrow veranda.

'It is really something,' Severus said smoothly, holding his hand out to Ines. She shook it, and held onto it a little longer than was really necessary, and Hermione noticed a pink flush rising up her throat. She felt a slight twinge as she saw Severus smiling at Ines, and she lifted her head and proceeded to walk past them up the villa steps.

Ines walked behind Hermione quickly and pushed open a bright orange door. As they stepped inside, Hermione gasped. They had walked into a large open-plan lounge and kitchen area, with large French doors at one end. Ines walked through the lounge, resplendent with low, cream sofas, and threw open the doors. They followed her and stepped out onto a wide hardwood deck. In the corner was a table and another set of cream sofas and beyond it, the most amazing view over the cliff and onto Le Cannelle, and the deep blue sea disappearing into the horizon.

'This is my favourite part of the villa,' she said quietly, 'at night time, with the lights on, it can be very romantic,' she murmured, and flashed her eyes at Severus. He smiled softly at her, and then averted his gaze, looking out to sea.

'Can we see the rest of the house?' Hermione said, a little too loudly.

Ines turned to her coolly. 'Of course, follow me,' she said flatly, and Hermione trailed behind her with her shoulders a little slumped. Ines so obviously found Severus attractive, and Hermione couldn't understand why, but she just wanted to protect him. It hadn't even been a year since Lucy's death. Surely it was too soon for Severus to even think about being with another woman?

Ines showed them the bathroom, which was well appointed but basic. Then she opened a door to a large master suite. The bed was wrought iron, with a thick mattress and a light muslin canopy above. The window was shuttered, and when Ines opened it, it looked out onto a small garden, with a tantalising view of the small town below.

'Here you are, the bedroom,' she murmured. 'If there is anything you need, my number is by the telephone.'

Hermione glanced up at Severus, who had paled a little, then laughed softly. 'Is there another bedroom, Ines? Severus is my friend, but we are not a couple,' she said, a small giggle in her voice.

It didn't pass Hermione's notice that Ines brightened up at this piece of information. She smiled widely, aiming it mostly at Severus.

'I just assumed,' she said quietly, 'yes, there is a further bedroom next door.' Ines showed them the room, which shared a similar view. The bed was made out of rattan wood, and a large desk sat in the corner of the room. Severus put his bag on the bed, and looked around.

'This will be fine for me. You take the larger room, Hermione,' he murmured.

'Thanks,' she smiled, and then noticed he seemed a little uncomfortable. His eyes fixed on hers and she dropped her guard, knowing he wished to speak with her. She felt the brush of his mind on hers and then his voice, softly, almost a whisper.

'I need some time alone. Can you get rid of her?' he said inside her head.

Hermione nodded a little, and then turned to Ines.

'Please could you show me the kitchen before you leave? I'm useless with gadgets,' she fixed her with a warm smile, and Ines smiled back at her. Apparently, knowing that Hermione and Severus were not a couple made Ines more amiable. They walked out of the room, and Hermione turned to see Severus staring out of the bedroom window, before closing the door quietly.

Ines gave Hermione a thorough tour of the kitchen and showed her the supplies she had already put into the 'fridge for their first night. As Hermione walked her to the door to say goodbye, Ines paused slightly.

'You friend, he is very sad,' she said quietly.

Hermione stared at her in surprise. 'Yes, he is. His wife died recently. How did you know?'

'My Grandmother has the sight, and I have a little of her gift. I can sense emotions,' she said quietly. She looked at Hermione and smiled at her a little. 'He does not know what you feel for him, I am guessing?'

'Feel for him?' Hermione frowned, 'I am sure I don't know what you mean!' she laughed a little. What on earth was Ines implying?

Ines shook her head a little, and smiled at her. 'Call me if you need me,' she said as she walked down the path, raising her hand in a small wave.

Hermione shrugged and closed the door, then went to explore the contents of the 'fridge. She was sure there was a bottle of wine in there somewhere.
11. The Picnic

Severus awoke with a start. Sweat was dripping from his body, and part of the white sheet that was covering him was wrapped tightly between his legs, the rest of it hanging off the bed. He rubbed his eyes and pushed his hair from his face where it had stuck to his forehead. With a grunt, he kicked his legs free, swung them over the side of the bed and walked naked to the window. He pushed open the shutters and realised the sun was already high in the sky. Hermione had obviously given up on waking him and he couldn't blame her. He was being a miserable bugger.

Apart from the first night, when Hermione had made tortellini with fresh tomato and basil sauce that they had shared, together with a very cold bottle of locally produced white wine, they had spent little time together. He had been preoccupied that night, and there had been almost no conversation. His thoughts had been a confused mess, between missing Lucy and wishing she could be there to enjoy the villa, and also his acute awareness that Ines had found him attractive, and that he had responded to it, and so had a certain part of his anatomy. He had been flattered, and it had crossed his mind that he might entertain a flirtation with her. She was incredibly attractive, after all. But as soon as the thought came, he had started to feel guilty. He no longer wore his wedding ring. He had placed it on a ribbon around Lucy's neck on the day she died, and there it stayed. But he felt the ghost of it on his finger still, and he knew he wasn't ready to try anything new. That night he had slept fitfully, and images of Lucy haunted his dreams.

Hermione had tried to encourage him to leave the villa and explore the town for the first three days, but Severus hated the thought of mingling with people, so he put her off, preferring to stay behind and read in the garden. He knew he was being a poor holiday companion, and yet Hermione just accepted it with no complaints. As usual, he acknowledged with a frown, she was giving him time to grieve.

Severus closed his eyes and inhaled the heady fragrances from the heat-soaked blooms in the garden, and a memory of his dream the previous night came flooding back to him. He replayed a conversation that he'd had with Lucy. She was lying in her hospital bed, but instead of looking pale and sickly, her face was flushed and she had a healthy glow. She had climbed off the bed and forced him to lie down where she had been, and then she had told him that he was wallowing in his grief and it wasn't healthy. Then she told him that she loved him, but he needed to move on, and she wouldn't be happy until he was happy. Severus knew that it was only a dream. But he also knew that if Lucy had been standing in the room with him, that was exactly what she would have said. Perhaps moving on was a good idea, even if it was with slow, small steps.

Severus thought of Hermione and smiled.

An hour later, Severus walked down the hill into the small town and towards the seafront. He had an idea where Hermione would be, as she had mentioned it on more than one occasion. Sure enough, as he came closer to the street café near the harbour entrance, he could see her, a cup of coffee on the table in front of her, her head bent down as she read her book. He walked up to her and let his shadow fall across her page.

Hermione looked up at him and smiled brightly. She was obviously pleased to see him.

'Hi,' she said.

Severus gestured to the basket he was carrying and smiled back at her. 'A peace offering. I have been a poor companion, so I thought we could have lunch on the beach,' he said.

Hermione squinted up at him a little, 'you look almost happy. Has something happened?'

'I'll tell you on the beach. I have wine, so you had better keep up if you want some,' he winked at her slightly and she laughed. He would never let her forget the tipsy night in her house. He strode off in the direction of the beach and looked over his shoulder to see Hermione almost trotting to keep up. With a chuckle, he widened his strides and laughed as she started to curse him for walking too fast.

They arrived at the beach, out of breath and laughing, and Hermione punched him playfully on the arm.

'Not fair,' she panted 'I have shorter legs than you,' she grinned. 'Nice outfit, by the way.' Hermione looked him up and down pointedly. He had decided to dress for the occasion with cut off trousers and a short sleeved T-shirt in a pale blue colour, with matching deck shoes. Severus ignored her comment and pulled a picnic blanket from the top of the basket, spreading it on the soft sand.

Before long, they were drinking the wine and enjoying fresh Italian bread and cheese, with fresh fruit and olives. Combined with the surroundings, the azure blue sea and the incredible cliffs around the cove, it was almost a banquet.

'This is lovely, Severus. Thank you,' Hermione pushed her curls behind her ears, and Severus noticed for the first time just how beautiful she was. The sun caught the highlights in her hair, and her eyes reflected the light and shone amber. She was positively glowing.

'You look lovely,' he said quietly.

'Thanks,' Hermione smiled at him and blushed prettily. Edward had never been one for compliments, although he fished for plenty. 'Tell me then. What made you take the plunge and leave the villa?'

'I had a dream about Lucy last night. She told me in no uncertain terms that it's time to move on, and I am thinking perhaps she is right,' Severus gazed at her for a moment, and then reached for a juicy olive.

'It was only a dream,' Hermione smiled, 'but I think she's right, for what it's worth. She told me not to let you wallow in your grief.'

Severus stared at her for a moment. 'Those were the word she used?' he said.

'Yes, verbatim,' Hermione nodded and took a last slug of wine before lying back on the blanket and closing her eyes.

'That was what she said in the dream,' Severus frowned.

Hermione bit her lip slightly. 'There is such a thing as lucid dreaming, I think. It's a way of talking to those who have passed. I've heard of it, but I don't know if it's true or just another woolly science like divination,' she screwed her face up, 'you should investigate it. Maybe it really was Lucy.'

'Maybe,' Severus looked at her, pondering slightly. 'Can I ask you a question?'

Hermione looked up at him. 'Of course.'

'What did you think of Ines?' he murmured, averting his gaze slightly.

'She's stunning. And she fancies you,' Hermione stated.

Severus smiled a little. 'I was thinking of taking her to dinner one evening, before we leave. What do you think?'

Hermione looked at him without blinking for a moment and then closed her eyes again. 'I think you should do what you think is right for you, Severus.'

Severus smiled softly, 'I knew you would say that.'

12. The Last Night

For the next few days, Severus tagged along with Hermione wherever she decided to go. With the exception of the thermal spa, which he had felt very uncomfortable about, even though it had been relaxing, he had enjoyed himself very much. The highlight for them both had been the day trip to Rome. They had visited museums and art galleries, eaten in a small bistro, and ended the evening watching Madame Butterfly in an opera house that was off the beaten track.

The time had passed so quickly, and their friendship had grown. Hermione told Severus about her parents and their life in Australia, and also her frustration at the break down of her friendship with Harry, all due to his blind loyalty to Ron. Severus had listened and given her good advice, and found himself enchanted by her. There was a lot more to Hermione than he had realised, and they discovered they had many things in common. They shared a love of strong Italian coffee, and sitting reading for hours on end with no interruptions. They started to debate various subjects and he found her knowledge of potion making was almost as great as his, much to his surprise and delight. After the first two days in her company, Severus acknowledged that his grief for Lucy had stopped him seeing the real Hermione, and the fact that she was probably the best friend he had ever had. Even better than Lily.

Hermione was in the kitchen in the villa, cooking sardines for herself. She was about to toss the salad when she looked at the clock. Severus was going to be late. She took the fish off the heat and walked over to his room, knocking on the door.

'You will be late,' she called to him.

'I'm not going,' she heard him mutter on the other side. Taking a deep breath, Hermione pushed the door open and saw Severus pulling at his collar.

'You can't invite a girl to dinner and then not turn up, Severus. It's not gentlemanly. Come here,' Hermione said, as she stepped up to him and unfastened his tie, and then unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, 'much better.'

Severus scowled at her. 'This was a bad idea,' he said, running his hands through his hair.

Hermione looked at him, and her eyes started to fill with tears. He seemed so lost. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it softly, and he raised his eyes to her.

'Relax, Severus,' Hermione smiled softly, 'it's only dinner, and you already know she likes you. It's just a small step forward, that's all.'

Severus smiled down at her gratefully. 'You are such a good friend, Hermione. I would be lost without you,' he said quietly.

Hermione felt her eyes filling again and brushed away a stray tear. 'You have been a good friend too,' she smiled, and on an impulse, she reached up and kissed him softly on his cheek. Severus stared at her for a moment, and then Hermione broke away and walked towards the door.

'You really should get going,' she said, as she went back to her cooking. Severus followed her out of the room and paused, still staring at her.

'I will be back before midnight. We should drink the red wine later and celebrate our holiday,' he murmured as he walked to the front door. He was just about to step outside when Hermione called him back. He turned to look at her, his eyebrow raised in a question.

Hermione paused and shook her head slightly. 'Have fun,' she smiled at him. He looked at her, then waved briefly, closing the door with a bang as he left

Hermione stared after him for a moment. 'Shit,' she muttered to herself, and ran her hands though her hair, pulling at her curls in frustration. She had almost begged him not to go, and the words that Ines had said to her on the first day came rushing back to her. She plated up her sardines and salad, grabbed a bottle of white wine from the 'fridge and went to sit on the decking. It was a warm and balmy night, and the sun was setting slowly behind the cliffs. Around the deck, small lights came on, triggered by the lack of daylight, and a glow fell around the villa. Hermione poured herself a large glass of wine and started to eat, then stopped mid-forkful. The fork fell1 from her hand and her jaw dropped slightly. She was feeling jealous, and she didn't want Severus to be with Ines. She wanted him to be with her. Hermione rubbed her eyes in a bid to clear her head, but all she could think about was kissing his cheek, and her hands went to her lips as if she could still feel his smooth skin there.

Hermione felt confused. Was it lack of male company that had her feeling like this, or had Ines been right in her assumption that Hermione had feeling for Severus? He had certainly looked handsome tonight, she mused, but there was no way anything could happen between them. It would spoil their friendship, of that she was certain, and he didn't seem at all ready for another relationship at the moment. Hermione shook her head and laughed at herself. Lucy had been very beautiful, and Ines was stunning. There was no way she could compete with that. Severus would never see her as girlfriend material.

Taking a large gulp of wine, Hermione decided to finish her meal and shower to take her mind off things.

As the water ran through her hair, Hermione managed to convince herself that she felt nothing but close friendship for Severus, and that what she had thought was jealousy was in fact her over-protective nature. She just didn't want him to get hurt.

Feeling happier, she stepped out of the shower and into the bedroom, smothered herself in her favourite vanilla-scented moisturiser, and then dressed in her white sundress and bright pink cardigan. She dried her hair lightly with her wand, leaving her curls to tumble freely over her shoulders, and then sprayed on a little perfume. She didn't stop to wonder why she was making such an effort with her appearance. She checked herself in the mirror, and then walked back out to the deck.

As Hermione stepped outside, she gasped. Severus was standing staring at her, his eyes black and smouldering, his fists and jaw clenched tightly. Tentatively, she walked towards him.

'What happened?' she whispered, sensing he was as tightly coiled as a spring.

'I left. It was a ridiculous idea,' he spat out. He started to pace up and down the decking, and Hermione watched him in silence for a moment, sitting slowly on the cream corner sofa.

Eventually she said, 'something must have happened, Severus. Tell me.'

Severus stopped walking and looked at her. 'We ate. The food was passable. We talked a little,' he ran his hand though his hair and started to pace again.

'Then what?' Hermione said.

Severus stopped and stared over the cliff, not meeting her gaze. 'I walked her home and she invited me in. I really wanted to go in with her. She looked incredible tonight, and god knows I could do with a fuck, it's been so long,' he spat out hoarsely, 'but I couldn't do it. I looked at her and all I could think about was Lucy.'

His shoulders fell, and Hermione stood and walked over to him. She wrapped her arm around him gently and gave him a small hug. 'Go and sit down,' she murmured, 'I'll get the wine.'

Severus was slumped on the sofa with his head in his hands when she returned, and she poured him a large glass before sitting beside him.

'Drink it. It's too expensive to waste,' she laughed softly.

Severus sat up and looked at her sadly. 'You must think me a fool,' he murmured.

Hermione looked into his eyes and smiled at him. 'Never. These things take time, Severus. You just aren't ready yet, that's all.'

Severus took a drink of his wine, and then twisted his mouth into a wry smile.

'What?' Hermione smiled at him.

'I was just thinking, you always seem to there when I need you the most,' he smiled at her.

'That's what friends are for,' she grinned at him, 'although there are some things we won't need to share. Like when you finally get your fuck, for instance.' Hermione started to giggle and covered her mouth with embarrassment.

'Now you're laughing at me!' he exclaimed, and then started to chuckle a little.

'I'm sorry,' Hermione gasped, 'it must be the wine.'

Severus looked at her as she laughed and he grinned at her, his eyes flashing a little. As she stopped laughing, their eyes met and Severus held her gaze.

'You look beautiful tonight,' he whispered softly.

'That's the wine talking,' Hermione breathed, running her tongue over her bottom lip slowly.

Severus shook his head and moved his body around so her was facing her. Hermione held her breath as he lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek.

'I meant it, Hermione. You really are beautiful,' he whispered, moving her face closer to hers.

'What are we doing?' she whispered. She couldn't take her eyes from his face.

'Taking another step,' he murmured quietly, and covered her lips with his own.

13. In The Dark

They kissed.

Softly, Severus brushed his lips against hers, and Hermione ran her hands through his hair and pulled him closer. His hair was smooth and soft, and she caught a waft of bergamot and sandalwood, fragrances that made her think of him. His lips were warm and firm, and he tasted sweet, his mouth infused with a hint of red wine. With a low moan, she opened her lips slowly. His tongue probed her soft, wet mouth tentatively, and then with more desire, and they wrapped their arms around each other and pressed their bodies together, their hearts beating a rhythm against each other.

Suddenly, in the middle of the best snog Hermione had ever had, Severus broke away from her. He looked at her and she realised his eyes were wet, and his gaze betrayed his conflicting emotions as he pushed away from her and stood shakily to his feet.

'Forgive me,' he rasped, and walked back into the villa.

Hermione stared after him, trembling and pulsing from their heady kisses. She flinched slightly as she heard his bedroom door slam shut, but her throbbing crotch and the brush of her erect nipples against her cotton dress were clouding all rational thought. It wasn't just Severus who needed some form of physical release, and she was damned if she was going to let him walk away from what he started. With a determined look, Hermione stood and followed him.

When she reached his bedroom, she was determined not to knock. With a deep breath, and a silent prayer to Circe and whoever else might be listening, she pushed open the door slowly, stepped inside the dark room and closed it behind her with a small click.

Hermione could see Severus silhouetted by the open window. The moonlight was caressing his profile and shone silver on his glossy hair, and his nose, lips and chin were thrust into sharp relief. He was staring at nothing, his mouth set in a thin line and the muscles of his shoulders stretching his shirt taut against his back. Hermione felt a gush of moisture between her legs and wondered why she hadn't noticed how gorgeous he was before now. He didn't look at her, but he must have sensed she was there.

'You should leave,' he said flatly.

'You think so?' she said softly from the doorway.

'You have already accused me of being ungentlemanly tonight. If you stay, I am in no doubt you will feel the need to say it again,' he said, his voice thick with lust, desire or pain, Hermione couldn't determine which. Perhaps it was a combination of all three. He turned slightly and looked at her, and Hermione's eyes were immediately drawn to the erection straining against his fly.

Hermione took a small step closer, her eyes bright as she looked at him. 'What are you scared of, Severus? You know me. And you must know by now that I rarely do anything I don't want to do,' she said softly, her voice low and trembling slightly. She stepped closer to him and he matched her movement, taking in her swollen lips and her erect nipples, dark shadows beneath her dress.

'I am confused, Hermione. I feel I do not know myself. An hour ago, I turned down Ines, because my feelings for Lucy would not let me go any further than dinner. And yet I can kiss you, and want you, with no thought for my wife,' he whispered.

Hermione smiled at him softly and walked up to him, placing her hand on his chest. She looked into his eyes, and felt the beating of his heart beneath her palm.

'I'm safe, comfortable. That's why. Let me help you take the next step, Severus,' she whispered.

'I do not love you, Hermione. I would be using you, abusing our friendship,' he said, so quietly that Hermione could barely hear him. He was staring down at her, his eyes drinking in each contour of her face.

'Just kiss me, Severus,' Hermione whispered as she tipped her face to him, 'I'm so wet, and I could really use the fuck.'

Severus growled, and in a split second he captured her lips with his own. Hermione held onto the front of his shirt tightly. His kiss was so drugging she thought she might fall, and as he wrapped his arms around her, she pushed her pubic bone against his erection, and they gasped into each other's mouths. There was no holding back this time, for either of them. Severus allowed his hands to roam over Hermione's lithe body, and he pushed her cardigan from her shoulders as he bent to kiss the hollow of her throat, his tongue licking her salty flesh firmly. He gathered up the light fabric of her dress, and in unspoken understanding, Hermione raised her arms and let him pull it over her head. She stood in front of him in just her thong, her breasts smooth and pert, and larger than he had thought they would be. Her nipples were a dark caramel colour, and they puckered slightly as the cool breeze from the window washed over them. Severus gazed at her for a moment and then turned, closing the shutters and blocking out the small amount of light cast by the moon.

As he turned back to her, he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him to the bed. He sat on the edge of the thick mattress and pulled her in front of him, running his hands across her lower back and kissing the soft rise of her stomach. Hermione ran her hands through his hair and held him close to her, then gasped as she felt his tongue snake into her belly button teasingly. Severus pulled her onto his knee, and she straddled him slowly as he started to kiss her breasts. He suckled at her nipples, softly at first and then with more ardour, until she was moaning and keening his name in his ears. With a deft movement, Severus pulled her onto the bed behind him, then stood and removed his clothes. They could barely see each other, but it didn't matter. They felt each other.

Severus moved himself onto the bed and immediately rolled on top of her, kissing her passionately, his tongue thrusting hard into her willing mouth. His hand found the edge of her thong and he slipped his fingers under the slip of material and immediately inside her. She was soaking wet, and he groaned as his fingers slipped in and out of her tightness.

'Oh, fuck,' Hermione gasped, and began to shudder at his touch. Severus took a nipple in his mouth and sucked hard, while his fingers found her clit and ran over the top of it with a feather light touch that was maddening and wonderful at the same time. Hermione could feel her orgasm building, and she started to buck against him as he moved his head to her mouth. He sucked at her bottom lip and bit her a little, and she cried out as she came fiercely, her vagina tightening in spasm as he inserted two fingers inside her.

'So tight,' he hissed, his lust taking over. He grabbed her thong and pulled at it, ripping the thin elastic.

Hermione was woozy from her orgasm, but her hands ran down his back to his buttocks and she dug her nails in a little, before moving to his crotch and taking his thick hard cock in her hand. She squeezed him hard and whispered in his ear 'Fuck me.'

Severus raised himself up on his arms and used his legs to push her thighs apart. He looked down at her, and their eyes met. There was no disguising their need for each other, and as he rested the head of his cock against her entrance, he smiled at her.

'You asked for this. Remember that,' he hissed, and with a deep groan, he pushed his length into her firmly.

Hermione bit her lip and almost cried out in pain. He was a lot bigger than what she had been used to, and she squeezed her eyes shut as he began to move inside her. He started to grunt, and Hermione realised he was losing control. He started to thrust harder, and she winced slightly as she felt him nudging her cervix. A warm feeling started to flood her pussy as he increased his pace, and Hermione looked up at him. He has his eyes closed, and a thin line of sweat ran down his chest. He changed the pattern of his thrusts, twisting his pelvis slightly. The effect was mind blowing, and Hermione felt her vagina relax as he hit her clit with each delicious thrust.

'Oh gods, Severus, yes,' she said.

'Come for me,' he grunted, 'I want to feel you come.'

Hermione melted at his words and felt her orgasm building quickly.

'Don't stop, Severus, oh fuck, fuck,' she shouted, ' Yes!'

Hermione lost control of her body and bucked beneath him as her orgasm washed over her. She felt her juices spurt over his cock, and he stopped his thrusting briefly. Hooking her leg over his arm, he began to move his hips quickly, thrusting the tip of his cock into her over and over again. It felt incredible to her and she started to whimper with pleasure that didn't seem to end as he moved his thumb to her clit.

'Again,' he hissed, and as Hermione shouted out again, he thrust hard and exploded inside her, pulse after pulse of thick, creamy sperm coating her insides, his balls pressing against her pussy and throbbing, hot and warm against her. He panted and then collapsed on top of her, their bodies slick with sweat.

Severus laid his head on the pillow, his cock still inside her, and he began to weep. Hermione could feel his shoulders shaking. She kissed the bare flesh in front of her and held him until they fell asleep.

When Hermione awoke the next morning, she was still in Severus's bed; the sheet tangled around her, her hair a curly mess on the pillow. She turned and looked around the room.

It was completely empty.

Severus had left already.

14. Anniversary

Severus surveyed his house slowly and lifted a small stack of books, placing them into a half-full cardboard box. Almost everything he needed was packed, and anything he didn't need was going into storage in the attic.

A House-Elf shuffled into the room, his small ears pointing straight upwards, his eyes beady as he stared up at Severus.

'Is you ready to leave, Master?' he said quietly.

'I believe so, Gregor. You may take the rest of my things. And inform the Headmistress I shall be there shortly. There is something I need to do first,' he looked at the elf coolly. Gregor bowed deeply and shuffled back out of the room. Severus could hear the slight popping of his things being apparated away, and felt the tingle of elf magic for the first time in many, many years.

Severus took a last look around his sitting room, then lifted his wedding photograph and placed it inside his robes.

He left the house through the front door and didn't look back. When he reached the Apparition point, he took a breath, and then disappeared.

Severus walked up the path to Lucy's grave, sidestepping the puddles and walking quickly to avoid getting soaked by the downpour that had started as he left the house. He had protected the roses this time, and the small card fastened to them, which read simply, 'all my love'. He approached Lucy with haste. He had no desire to be reminded of this day, and had planned his move to Hogwarts purposely so that he would be distracted.

Bending his knee slowly, Severus laid his flowers reverently on the mossy grass-covered mound. He stared for a short moment at the headstone, tracing Lucy's name with his eyes slowly. It was unfathomable to him that she had been gone a year already. At times, it felt like she had died just yesterday.

As usual, the grave was neat and tidy, but it wasn't Severus's doing. In fact, he didn't know for sure who it was who maintained this peaceful haven for his wife, but he had a feeling that Hermione might still visit, a suspicion that was confirmed when he saw a small bunch of freesia's, tied together with ribbon and sitting just on top of the black granite headstone. A small card dangled from them, and Severus stood and lifted it. He recognised her neat, rounded writing, and smiled as he read, 'Fondly remembered, Hermione,' His heart sank a little as he read her name, and he was gripped by a sudden feeling of guilt and a vivid memory of their last night in Italy. He ground his teeth together and cursed himself for thinking of such things at Lucy's graveside. Gently, he caressed the granite that marked her resting place, and said a silent goodbye.

The guilt hadn't lifted as he arrived just outside the gates of Hogwarts, and the sight of the familiar towers and their rugged backdrop did nothing but compound it, as memories of Hermione started to force their way into his thoughts.

She had written to him numerous times after he returned without her from Italy. And on each occasion, he had ignored her requests for contact. He did however keep all of her correspondence, and had brought it with him. She had been nothing but frank with him in her letters, telling him to stop sulking, that they could just pick up their friendship and forget what had happened between them. But Severus wasn't blind, and he could read between the lines. She had laid her feeling bare on each page, and he wasn't sure he could give her what she wanted from him. Eventually, she had stopped beating around the bush and told him how she really felt. He frowned to himself as he walked slowly up the long sweeping path to the school, recalling her last letter, which had arrived a month ago. She had informed him that if he chose not to respond again, that would be the end of it and she would move on. The decision was his. He had been so close to writing to her then, to the point where his quill had been dipped into the ink. But his hand had started to shake at the enormity of what he had been about to agree to, and he had dropped the quill and turned to a bottle of Firewhisky instead.

Severus's thoughts were pushed from his mind when he saw Minerva, awaiting his arrival in the large entrance hall of his old stomping ground. Her face broke out into a huge smile and soft tears welled in her eyes as she walked up to him and took his hands in hers, gripping them and gulping gently, unable to speak. Severus was touched at her obvious affection for him, and he smiled slightly.

'Headmistress,' he bowed his head slightly.

Minerva McGonagall let go of his hands and slapped him slightly on his arm.

'Don't you dare, Severus. We have known each other far too long to allow formality to get in the way of friendship,' she said firmly.

Severus caught her eye and chuckled. 'I thought that would have the desired effect. No tears on my account, Minerva, if you don't mind.'

'Starting as you mean to go on, Severus?' Minerva pursed her lips together, but her eyes shone brightly. 'How are you?' she asked him. It was a loaded question and they both knew it.

'In need of distraction,' he said quietly. It wasn't just a distraction from Lucy's death he was referring to, but that was something he preferred to keep to himself.

Minerva smiled sadly. 'I am so very sorry for your loss, Severus. But as you are in need of something to do, you had better come and see the Potions dungeon,' she shook her head, 'the last incumbent caused chaos and I really don't know where to begin.'

Minerva started to walk purposefully down the hallway and after a few moments, Severus smirked and followed her with long strides, his robes billowing as he did so.

On the walls, the portraits looked at each other and shuddered.
15. Hermione's Heart

Familiar faces smiled at her as she walked back onto the ward, and she inhaled deeply. The fresh clean smell put her immediately into work mode, and through habit, she checked her hair was securely fastened and smoothed her apron, then walked to the nurses' station.

Megan greeted her with a huge smile. 'Madame Granger, it's lovely to have you back,' she said warmly, 'and you look great too. Nice tan.'

Hermione smiled at her softly.' Thank you Megan. It's nice to be back. Now, who do we have?'

Hermione wasn't in the mood for small talk or sharing stories of her time away. She was anticipating many questions, but she didn't want to be reminded of her holiday. In particular she didn't want to be reminded of Severus. She was in week four of her plan to move on, and she was failing dismally.

At first, she had given him space. She had understood how confused and guilty he would be, making love to someone who wasn't his wife. So, she came back from Italy with her head held high and her crotch still throbbing at the memory of their night together. She had written him a chatty 'it's okay Severus, let's just be friends' note, and then waited a few weeks. She had even taken another trip on her own, to France, from where she sent him a postcard, telling him she was having a lovely time but the coffee wasn't as good as Italy. But the truth was, she didn't have a lovely time. She had been miserable without him, and although she did all the things she wanted to do, it would have been so much nicer if he had been there to share it with her. It was when she returned to her empty house, and realised there was no letter back from Severus, that her stomach began to tie itself into knots and she finally started to acknowledge that what she felt for Severus was more than just friendship. And it devastated her.

She had taken to her bed with her quill and a sheaf of parchment, and written to him every other day for two weeks. She tried to keep her letters chatty and bright, telling him she was returning to work soon and it would be lovely to see him before she started back. She invited him to the Opera when she saw that Madame Butterfly was coming to Covent Garden. Then she got very angry, and called him a stubborn bastard, who had indeed abused her friendship. But the tears that had fallen onto this letter had given her away, and Severus had felt her pain as he read it.

And Hermione knew she had fallen in love with him then, and didn't write for three days. On the fourth day, she told him the truth. That she was in love with him, that she missed him and longed for him, but that this would be his last chance. If he wanted her friendship or anything more from her, he needed to tell her, or she would move on. Because she couldn't live like this any more.

Hermione still heard nothing, and a gaping hole of pain and rejection settled itself in her stomach and refused to budge.

In the canteen at lunchtime, Hermione picked at her salad half-heartedly and didn't look up when she felt someone sit down opposite her. A slight cough told her who it was, and she fixed a false smile onto her face and raised her eyes slowly.

'Hello Edward,' she said.

'Wow,' he breathed, 'you look incredible.'

'It's just the tan. It will fade before long, and I will just look the same as normal,' she laughed slightly.

'I've missed you, Hermione,' his eyes flashed at her and she got his meaning immediately.

'You've missed the sex, you mean?' she grinned at him and arched her eyebrow, and was gratified when Edward blushed deep red from his collar to his hairline.

'That was uncalled for,' he muttered and started to eat his curry and rice.

'I'm sorry. You're right. I was only teasing,' she said softly, and her spark in her eyes faded a little as she remembered that she missed the sex too. But not with Edward.

'Is there someone?' he said softly, not looking at her.

'There was,' she answered.

'Ah,' he replied.

Hermione stood and lifted her tray. 'Goodbye Edward,' she murmured, and then walked to place her uneaten lunch on the trolley. She walked back to ward slowly, chewing on her lip unconsciously and wondering how long it would take for the hole in her stomach to disappear.

The Invitation

Severus was in his private chambers. Although it had been almost seven years since he had left them, he had settled in as if he had never been away, and as he slid his books onto familiar shelves, they almost sighed with happiness at being back where they belonged. Severus had that feeling too, and he surveyed his rooms with sentimental pride. The only addition was his wedding photograph, which sat beside his bed this time. He didn't look at it every day now, but he was always aware it was there, out of the corner of his eye. He didn't think of Lucy every hour of the day, either, and felt an odd tinge of regret that he was becoming so occupied with his teaching that it was pushing her from his mind. But he accepted it, just as he accepted that reminders of a certain know-it-all met him around each corner of the school. Both situations he had to learn to live with.

He gathered up the parchments and his wand, left his rooms and walked the short journey to the Potions classroom, where he was about to introduce a new group of first years to the art of Potion making.

He shoved open the door dramatically, hair and robes billowing behind him as three rows of frightened faces looked up at him. He smirked and took a deep breath.

'There will be no foolish wand–waving in this class,' he began.

Minerva looked at Poppy over the frames of her spectacles and frowned.

'It's such short notice, Poppy,' she muttered.

'I'm sorry, Minerva, but it cannot be helped. I refuse to let just anyone care for Herbert. He is my only sibling and he refuses point blank to go into St Mungo's for fear he will never come out again. It has to be me,' she stated firmly.

'Very well. I shall have to write to Chief medi-wizard Arkwright and see whom he can provide for us in the interim. Promise me you will let me know if you have to remain longer than planned,' Minerva sighed deeply.

'I will. And thank you,' she smiled softly at her friend. Minerva just nodded as she whipped out a piece of parchment and readied her quill.

Chief medi-wizard Arkwright was pacing behind his desk as Hermione knocked. He plastered a caring smile onto his face and bade her to come in.

'Hello sir,' Hermione smiled at him.

'Hermione, please' he gestured to the leather chair in front of his desk, 'be seated.'

Hermione sat down, feeling a little non-plussed and wondering why she had been summoned. It was almost two months since she had started back at work and everything had gone smoothly, or so she thought. She watched suspiciously as the Chief medi-wizard flounced his garish robes and sat in front of her, his smile still fixed to his face. His smile never quite reached his eyes, and for that reason Hermione had never warmed to the man.

'How are you finding it, being back on the ward?' he said smoothly. He started to nod slowly before she had even opened her mouth.

'Everything is in order. It's just business as usual, sir,' she said, her voice expressing what she hoped was efficiency and control.

'Yes, yes,' Arkwright put his fingers together, 'and how are you, Hermione? I am aware that you and Healer Penrose are no longer keeping company.' He pursed his lips together and Hermione almost laughed at his obvious disapproval of their break-up.

'I'm fine, thank you,' she said quickly, not wishing to discuss her personal life with her boss.

'Yes well, I wondered if you fancied a sabbatical of sorts,' he said, aware that he had overstepped his boundary a little.

'A sabbatical? But I have just taken 6 months leave,' Hermione looked at him in shock.

'It would not be a holiday. Perhaps you should read this,' he handed her the parchment and she immediately recognised the writing.

She scanned the letter quickly and a small smile played on her lips.

'You want me to go to Hogwarts? But it's almost Christmas, I will be needed,' she said softly.

'Without wishing to point out the obvious, we did cope quite well while you away. Not that you were not missed, naturally,' he nodded in her direction and smiled slightly obsequiously.

'I'd love to go,' Hermione smiled brightly, ignoring his comment. Excitement started to build inside her. She hadn't been to Hogwarts in years, and the thought of seeing the school, and her old teachers again, was making her feel warm inside.

'Excellent!' Arkwright clapped his hands together.

Hermione smirked. He had known she wouldn't refuse his request, but she let him have his little victory. She would be spending Christmas at Hogwarts and that was the best thing that could have happened to her.

Minerva waited expectantly by her Floo and her face split into a wide smile as Hermione stepped out of the green flames.

'My dear girl, look at you,' she smiled and grabbed her for a huge hug.

Hermione closed her eyes and trembled a little at such an outward display of affection. It had been quite some time since someone had held her.

Minerva pulled away and looked at her with concern.

'Are you quite alright, Hermione?' she asked her.

Hermione swallowed a little and then laughed. 'Sentimental, that's all. Is it lovely to be back,' she glanced around the office with a smile.

'I have prepared rooms near the hospital wing, you know where I mean, of course,' Minerva smiled at her warmly.

'Yes, I remember,' Hermione smiled. 'I'll go now and get settled in, I think.'

'And we shall see you at dinner?' Minerva asked her.

'Of course,' Hermione smiled and turned to walk out of the office.

Before she could leave, however, the door opened, and the current Potions Master of Hogwarts walked in briskly, almost colliding with her.

Severus stopped and stared at her, and a lump formed in his throat as he realised just how much he had missed her. She looked more beautiful than he remembered.

'Hermione,' he breathed softly, not breaking her shocked gaze.

Hermione stared at him for a full minute, not believing her eyes, and pushed past him and out of the door, closing the door hard behind her.
Too Little Too Late

Minerva stared after Hermione in surprise. The room was still reverberating from the slamming of the door, and Severus closed his eyes slightly and felt the panic rising in his throat. He should have just written to her and damn the consequences, and he knew with deep certainty that his own selfishness had affected her more deeply than he had begun to imagine.

'What on earth was that about Severus?' Minerva demanded.

He snapped his eyes open and looked at her, pinching the bridge of his nose slightly.

'It was about me,' he murmured quietly. 'I have been a coward, and a fool.'

'Are you telling me that there is something between the two of you?' She stared at him in horror.

'Hermione is no longer a child, Minerva. But it's not what you think. However,' his shoulders slumped as he sank into the chair by Minerva's desk, 'I have not behaved well. And it would seem I am not to be forgiven easily.'

'I think you had better explain, Severus. Before I lose another medi-witch,' Minerva sighed with exasperation.

Severus looked up at Minerva sheepishly, and started at the beginning.

Hermione was shaking as she walked quickly to her quarters. She'd had no idea that Severus had been considering returning to his old post. He had never discussed Minerva's correspondence with her, had never sought her opinion. If had asked her she would have encouraged him to come back, certainly. But he hadn't needed her, obviously.

Reaching her rooms, she walked inside, unconsciously warding the door. She didn't look around the tastefully decorated space with its large window, comfortable sofa and large, inviting bed. She didn't notice the well-stocked bookshelves along the back wall, nor did she explore the ample bathroom with its luxurious bath and separate shower. Hermione was in a daze.

She sat on the sofa and stared into space. Her mouth was dry and her stomach was screaming with pain. She was under the same roof as the man she had longed for since leaving Italy, and it was almost unbearable. Hermione knew she couldn't stay, wouldn't stay. No matter how much Minerva tried to persuade her.

Minerva observed Severus across her desk and a small smile played across her lips.

'You will have to go to her, you know,' she said softly.

'I cannot. It's too late to make amends for what I did. And my wife has only been dead just over a year. It would be too soon,' he said sadly.

'Too soon? Stuff and nonsense, Severus. You had no idea you would fall for the girl, and you, of all people, should know that life is too short to pass up even the slightest chance of happiness. What are you waiting for? Lucy cannot give you permission, Severus. But I know she would want you to be happy,' Minerva whispered.

'I still love Lucy, Minerva,' Severus said softly.

'Of course you do. But it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. You do have room in your heart for Hermione, Severus,' Minerva said gently.

Severus looked up at her as her words sank in. Minerva was right, of course. He had been holding back, because his sense of right and wrong had told him it wasn't the time. And yet, he hadn't stopped thinking about her. Even during Potions classes his eyes would occasionally drift to the back of the classroom and expect to find her bushy head bent over her cauldron, her face screwed up in concentration. Everywhere he went, he was constantly reminded of her, forced to think of her. And he had missed her terribly.

He hoped he wasn't too late.

He stood abruptly and Minerva jumped in shock. 'I must go,' he said.

'To see Hermione?' Minerva asked him hopefully.

'Yes,' he said quietly, 'to see Hermione.'

Severus walked quickly to the hospital wing. His heart was beating madly, and the words 'I love you' sat on the tip of his tongue, ready to be blurted out if he had the opportunity. Knowing the witch as he did, she could very well have left already. Or she could be lying in wait, ready to hex him when he least expected it. The image of a vexed Hermione flashed through his head, hair flying, hands on hips, amber eyes flashing with ire, and he chuckled to himself.

When he arrived at her door, he paused briefly before taking a deep breath and then knocking softly. After an agonising wait, Hermione slowly opened the door. She peered up at him, and he could see by her bloodshot eyes and the telltale lines running down her face, that she had been crying.

'Can I come in?' he said softly.

'What for?' Hermione whispered, her bottom lip trembling.

'We need to talk, Hermione,' he said. He was shocked as he looked at her more closely. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and she looked thinner than he remembered. Her hair was almost wiry and no longer styled in sleek, smooth waves.

'What did you want to talk about?' she murmured, looking at his feet.

'Us,' he whispered hoarsely, as the enormity of his feeling threatened to overwhelm him in the face of Hermione's obviously vulnerable state.

Hermione gaped at him for a brief moment, and then stepped aside to let him in.

Your Lips To Seek

"I would never have come if I had known you were here,' Hermione whispered as she paced the room. 'I shall have to tell Minerva I am leaving.'

'You do not need to leave,' he murmured, watching her closely. He had never seen Hermione like this, and he wasn't sure what to do.

'Yes, I do. I cannot remain under the same roof as you, Severus. What do you expect of me? That I can sit at the same table as you in the Great Hall, work alongside you as a colleague, and pretend that your very presence doesn't make me feel weak with longing for you?' Hermione spat at him, and laughed a little hysterically. 'I cannot be with you and want you, knowing you do not want me.'

Severus could feel the colour fading from his face. Hermione was describing exactly how he had felt in the months immediately after Lucy's death, and he recognised that pain.

'I know how painful it is, Hermione,' he said quietly.

Hermione turned on him and her eyes flashed angrily. 'How dare you? You have no idea how I feel,' she shouted, her hair shaking around her shoulders. 'I want you to leave now,' she said firmly.

'I will not leave until you hear me out. Surely you can allow me that much?' Severus stepped closer to her, his eyes soft as he looked at her.

Hermione waved her hand in exasperation. 'Fine. Say what you want, but then go. I don't want to see you again, Severus. It's too hard,' she whispered sadly.

She turned away from him and walked over to the window. She watched as the smoke from Hagrid's hut rose and then dispersed into the sky. She didn't hear Severus walking to her, but she felt him, and she inhaled his familiar scent of bergamot and sandalwood, silent tears began to fall down her face.

Severus sighed deeply before he spoke. 'You accused me of not knowing how you feel. That was unfair, given what you know of my relationship with Lucy. There have been many nights when I have longed for someone I could not have,' he said quietly.

Hermione wrapped her arms tightly around herself. 'I'm sorry,' she said.

'You are also assuming I do not want you. I can tell you now; there is nothing I want more than you, Hermione. Nothing,' he whispered.

'You left me in Italy, lying in your bed like some cheap whore. You didn't answer my letters, even when I laid my soul bare to you. What else was there to think?' she sobbed, not fully understanding the meaning in his words, her heart beating its way out of chest wildly.

'I wasn't ready for what you wanted of me, Hermione. I tried to write to you, but I just couldn't. I am truly sorry for hurting you,' he said quietly. Hermione turned and stared at him and he looked at her with sympathy in his eyes. Shrugging, she walked over to the door and opened it wide.

'I'm not finished yet,' he snapped, frustration rising in his voice. He took out his wand and flicked it. The door flew from Hermione's hand and slammed shut, and before she had the chance to respond, Severus warded and silenced the room.

Hermione glared at him, her fists clenched by her sides. 'Are you staying just to torture me?' she spat out.

'Gods, witch,' he shouted at her and walked in two strides to where she stood. He pushed her against the wall, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly. Hermione gasped as their bodies' touched and she tried to struggle from his grip.

'What are you doing?' she gasped as she tried in vain to push him away. His eyes were dark as he stared at her, and he was scaring her with his strength, and yet she couldn't tear her eyes from his face, so close to hers, she could feel his angry breath on her cheek.

'I am trying to tell you that I love you, you stupid witch,' he growled, shaking her slightly.

Hermione stopped fighting and stared at him. Her jaw dropped and her mouth opened, and Severus took advantage of her quietness and covered her lips with his own, fervently kissing her and tasting her tongue with his own. A sob escaped her mouth and their kiss was tinged with salty tears. He pulled away and looked down at her, his face full of love as she clung to him and started to cry fiercely.

'I've wanted you so much,' she sobbed.

Severus held her to him and stroked her hair softly. 'I'm here. And I promise I am not going anywhere,' he whispered, nuzzling her neck softly. He kissed her neck softly and Hermione didn't even try to stifle the low moan of desire that came from her as he gently licked her most sensitive spot.

'I love you,' she whispered quietly, her fingers softly caressing his cheek.

'I love you too,' he said, smiling at her.
With Consummate Skill

Severus lifted Hermione and carried her over to her new bed. His eyes never left her face, and she giggled as he dropped her softly onto the mattress, followed her and covered her body with his own. They kissed like teenagers, wet passionate kisses, with tongues probing, exploring and tasting each other. Noises of growing desire started to slip for their mouths, and Severus groaned as his erection throbbed and pushed against Hermione's thigh. Her Muggle jeans were totally impractical for their current activity and Severus was eager to get her naked.

'Take your clothes off,' he hissed.

'You do it, if you want me that badly,' she hissed back at him, her hand reaching down slowly and caressing his balls. She ran her fingers up his length and he sighed.

'Very well,' he muttered, and grabbed his wand from his sleeve. 'Divesto', he said, and then laughed as Hermione gasped and began to shiver slightly.

'Gods, Severus, it's freezing,' she said. Severus flicked his wand and cast a warming spell over the bed, and Hermione grinned at him and relaxed. With a gentle push, she rolled him onto his back and looked down at him in awe, a twinkle in her eyes.

'I can't believe I am about to make love to my old Potions Master. I often wondered how many buttons you actually had,' she said teasingly, and then started to unfasten his robes. She knelt up beside him, her breasts swinging freely as she moved over him, her nimble fingers popping each button as he watched her, a sly smirk on his face.

'That has got to be one of the sexiest things I have ever seen,' he said hoarsely. The image of Hermione, naked, unbuttoning his robes, was now deeply imprinted on his brain, and would come back to him at the most inopportune moments many times in the coming years.

'You look pretty sexy yourself, Professor,' Hermione said in a low voice. Her hands drifted to his fly, and she giggled. 'More button's?' she laughed.

'Zipper's can be dangerous,' he murmured.

Hermione grinned at him as she unfastened his fly, then she paused as their eyes met. Their passion flared suddenly, and he pulled her to him, kissing her deeply and running his hands down her body slowly until her found her pussy. Her lips were wet and warm, and she sighed as he slipped his fingers through her folds. Severus kissed her face and moved his face to her breasts. He took each nipple into his mouth in turn, sucking, licking and caressing her with his mouth, pushing her body up the bed until her vagina was hovering above his face. Hermione gripped the headboard, and gasped as she felt his tongue start to snake around her pussy, lightly licking her juices from her lips, flicking over her clitoris and probing her core deeply. She threw her head back and closed her eyes as his hands found her breasts, his fingers caressing and tweaking her nipples. Hermione began to moan loudly, swirling her hips over his face as her thighs began to shudder around him. Severus gripped her hips to keep her still, and he moved his mouth to her clit, taking the engorged nub between his lips, and sucking and licking at her in a firm rhythm.

'Oh shit, yes, yes' Hermione shouted, and then came, her body bucking above him and juices spurting from her as he swallowed them greedily. Gods, the witch tasted good.

Sliding quickly from beneath her, Severus got rid of his own clothes before Hermione had the chance to relax, and he shuffled up to her as she leaned her head against the wall behind the bed. His cock was desperate for her, and in a swift movement he entered her and kissed the back of her neck lovingly. Hermione groaned as she thrust her bottom back against him, and Severus growled as he started to thrust his length into her wet pussy. She felt wet and tight, and it was pure bliss. Severus increased his pace quickly and Hermione came hard, her muscles tightening as she fought to support herself on the headboard. Withdrawing quickly, much to Hermione's disappointment, Severus pulled her around and laid her on the bed gently. He stared down at her, taking in her beautiful breasts and her drooping eyelids, and he kissed her gently as he slid into her. Slowly, and with firm, sure strokes, he brought her to the brink again, and they came together this time, Severus with his head back and her name on his lips.

Later, when they had lost count of the number of times they had made love, and the firelight flickered around the room, they talked, and made plans for the future.

Epilogue: Dreams May Come

They walked hand in hand up the path, and the sun shone down on them. A little way ahead a little girl with black, shoulder-length, curly hair was skipping and waving around a bunch of flowers in her hand.

'Lucy, be careful,' Hermione called her.

A small sandy-haired boy was holding onto Severus's free hand, and he looked up at his father gravely.

'Why does she have to skip everywhere?' he said quietly.

Severus smiled down at his son and whispered, 'because she's a girl, Freddy. And girls can be a bit silly.'

Hermione snorted, 'Yes, that's why boys like them so much. Isn't it, Severus?' She glared at him, and he winked at her with a smirk.

'Absolutely,' he said.

They reached the grave just after Lucy, who was standing seriously with her hands in front of her, having already placed her flowers over the grassy mound. Her face was crumpled into a frown of concentration, and Severus couldn't help but smile. He knelt down beside her and put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

'Why are you frowning?' he asked her quietly.

'Why is my name on that?' she pointed at the headstone.

'Because the lady who is buried here was also called Lucy Snape, that's why. And that's why we called you Lucy, too,' he murmured.

'Was she a nice lady?' Lucy squinted up at Hermione, who had moved close and put her hand on Severus's shoulder gently.

'She was the kindest, most gentle soul you could ever meet, and Daddy and I loved her very much. When you are bigger, we can show you a photo if you like,' Hermione squeezed Severus's shoulder and he smiled up at her gratefully.

'Mummy, the pelargonium's are about to flower,' Freddy said, his small hands lifting up the heads of hanging buds to show her.

'That's right, so they are,' she smiled.

'That will make Lucy happy when we are not here to talk to her,' Freddy said. He repeated verbatim Hermione's words and she laughed softly.

'You remembered, Freddy?' she asked him. He looked at her a nodded, and gave her a rare smile.

'Lucy loves them,' he said.

'Do you, Lucy?' she looked at her daughter and rubbed her tousled hair.

Freddy laughed. 'Not that Lucy, the other Lucy, the one who sleeps here,' he said.

Severus stared at him and his face went as white as a sheet. Hermione walked over to Freddy slowly and bent down to talk to him.

'What do you mean, Freddy? What other Lucy?' her heart was pounding in her ears.

'The lady with the yellow hair. She's very pretty. She is always here when we come,' he smiled softly.

'Is she here now, Freddy?' Hermione asked in a whisper. He nodded softly and pointed to a bench that sat a little back from the graves, just under the shelter of a group of trees.

''And does she talk to you, Freddy?' Hermione asked him gently, not even daring to look at Severus.

'Sometimes. She's happy that we come, but she isn't always here. She only comes when we do,' he said. He was getting bored now, and started to scuff the toe of his shoe against the dirt.

'Is she happy?' Severus's voice cut through and Freddy's head snapped up. He looked up, seemingly into thin air, and then he laughed a little.

'She says she is, now that you are,' Freddy said.

Severus nodded slowly. He didn't know what to say.

'Thank you, Freddy,' Hermione hugged her son close as tears threatened to fall down her face, and she smiled widely. He had such a special gift.

'Can we go to the party now?' Lucy asked Severus and pulled at his shirt to get his attention.

Hermione answered for her. 'Yes, we had better go. Let's say goodbye then,' she said softly.

They all stood quietly and Lucy said 'Bye Lucy,' and waved at the grass mound.

They walked down the path slowly, Hermione clutching Severus's hand, neither of them able to look at each other immediately.

Freddy stopped halfway down the path and turned, looking back towards Lucy's headstone.

He grinned and waved.

END