Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood; it belongs to the Beeb and RTD.
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Janto – naturally.
Warnings: Slash. Angst in this chapter but I bring happy endings!
The ice cold water shot down in rows and rows, battering Jack Harkness constantly in the severe darkness. The rain pelted into him like millions of silver bullets, trying it's best to soak him to the bone. The eerie white glow of the moon had been blocked by dark black clouds that had rolled in from nowhere. Jack shoved his hands further into his pockets and followed the gravel path until he reached a small abandoned park. One lone bench was placed to the left of the play area and sat, eyes staring into nothing, was one familiar young man. Ianto Jones seemed to not notice the rain hitting his body, or the sharp wind that lapped his coat around his ankles as he breathed out ice cold mist. Jack paced over slowly. Ianto never looked up into the rain to see who was there; he could see the blue coat flapping in the torrential weather and smell the pheromones that radiated off Jack's skin. Jack was stood just to the side of the Welshman so he could be clearly seen in his peripheral vision. He braced himself for the onslaught of anger and irritation that was soon to be directed at him from the younger male.
"You left." Those two words spoken so broken and ghost-like were enough to surprise Jack and he paused for a second before answering.
"I had to."
"Who for? Did you ever think about the rest of your team when you just up and left us so soon after all that devastation?" The hollowness was still there, mixed with irritation, "Where, I'm sure you remember, you died for a long time and we didn't know if we were going to lose you or not? It turned out that one way or another; we were going to without a doubt lose you that day. Not one of us, not even Gwen, can ever live up to your Doctor."
"What's Gwen got to do-" Jack saw Ianto's 'leave it' look and he hunched his shoulders, staring at the ground, "I needed answers, Yan."
"Don't... just don't Jack, please" Ianto's desperate pleading made his heart and throat clench, "Torchwood 3 was shattered because they had lost their most important member. We struggled to piece the team back together, all of us reluctant to take a lead in anything." Jack saw Ianto's beautiful blue eyes fill with tears and he swallowed tightly, "Nobody wanted to replace the great leader Captain Jack Harkness. And that's not even your real name! How about giving them some answers for once? We know less about you than we do the whereabouts of Torchwood 4!" By the end, Ianto was breathing heavier and now Jack's eyes pricked with fresh hot tears.
"I'm so sorry, you have to believe me," Ianto stared at the floor hollowly and Jack ran a hand through his dripping hair, more than upset, "Yes, I left once. But lightening doesn't strike twice, Ianto."
"It does," His blue stare pierced right through Jack, "But only if that person is too dumb to move away."
A few seconds of silence ticked away, the sound mimicking Jack's strangled heartbeats that seemed to echo in the empty park.
Jack spoke up after a while, his throat constricting, "And you're one of the smartest people I've ever met." The older man didn't even care how much his voice was cracking, how hot tears streamed down his face onto his coat, how the cold rain was soaking him to his core. All he cared about right now was Ianto. How that whenever he was out of sight, he worried about his whereabouts. How that when he left, he felt lost and alone. How much he really meant to him and how much it would hurt Jack if Ianto left, like something savagely ripping a part of his soul away from him. He didn't want that to happen after the Year That Never Was. Ianto was the only person Jack would want to talk to about the Master's torture and his countless deaths that stripped him bare.
Jack looked up through his teary vision to see that Ianto had stood up and was looking hesitant. It looked like he was contemplating something carefully. Ianto slid his emotionless mask back on and walked to Jack, framing his face carefully.
"I'm sorry too," He whispered, before leaning up to kiss him. Warmth tingled through Jack's cold lips as Ianto's mouth moved gently against his own. The kiss was loving, but Jack realised it was desperate. Tears leaked from Ianto's closed eyes as his hand rested behind Jack's neck, pulling his as close as possible. And that in itself made Jack force to suppress a sob as they explored each other's mouths. Jack knew this was probably going to be his last kiss with the younger man. Even though he knew he wanted Ianto in his life, not everybody could have what they wanted. The older man didn't know what he or Torchwood was going to do without him. Eventually, Ianto broke away. He stroked down Jack's cheek bone, not knowing what was rain and what was tears. He squeezed the other male's hand and continued, "But that doesn't change anything." And then he turned and walked away. Away from Jack, away from Torchwood and away from his meaning of life.
Jack watched his retreating back before he fell onto his knees on the wet ground, whether it was from weakness or just the boat load of emotions that had been pushed onto him suddenly. He rested his head in his arms on the bench and sobbed openly. He cried for the Year That Never Was, he cried for the Doctor, he cried for his team, he cried for Ianto, but – most of all – he cried for himself. For the memories of his past, for the mess he was in at present and for the bad visions he had for the future. Jack knew what Ianto had said was justified. People who didn't move on from Jack often got hurt in the line of fire or his non-existent feelings many times over. But Ianto was different. He knew about that hardships of Jack being immortal and being the leader of Torchwood brought to daily life. Jack was just too damn coward to mention that.
When he was morbidly shattered from crying and his eyes had dried up, Jack dragged himself off the ground and began to wander aimlessly around Cardiff. Subconsciously or not, he had eventually walked to Ianto's flat.
He let himself in with his ever-present key and breathed in the familiar scent. But the young man wasn't there any longer. Ianto had left all of his things behind when he had walked away, to start his life again, like pushing the reset button. The sluggish Captain kicked off his shoes, took off his coat and fell onto the familiar soft double-bed. He curled up tight on his side and stared out the window at the rain. Before more tears had a chance to spill from his eyes, he fell into a fitful sleep. And Jack was sure he dreamed it, but he thought he heard a door open and close before darkness overcame him.
Okay, I know it sounds angsty but I come with promises of fluff! Please review and add to alerts!