Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, if I did; Jack and Ianto would be locked in my room and wouldn't be allowed to come out until they made cute little man-babies! Mwahaa...

Summary: A series of short stories and oneshots on what the Torchwood team get up to in private.

Jack slowly woke up to a banging head. It felt a bit like a percussion band playing inside his brain. The second thing he noticed was that there was a warm body next to him. He filtered through the foggy memories from yesterday and recalled that the Torchwood team were having a drink at the hub, they must have gotten a bit too drunk and... Oh. Well, anyway, Jack dragged himself groggily out of the warm double bed and began to stomp down the stairs sloppily in the familiar warmth of Ianto's house. However, his foot got caught behind the other and he tumbled down the stairs head first, almost breaking his neck. When he landed at the bottom with a loud thud, he groaned and rubbed his aching head. He heard a muffled noise from the top and peered up, squinting.

"Need help there, Jack?" Ianto deadpanned, mouth twitching.

"I wanted a coffee, I have a headache." Jack pouted.

"Well, you'll find the coffee machine in the kitchen, not at the bottom of the stairs," The pout deepened. Ianto chuckled and walked down the stairs, his hand outstretched towards the older male, "Come on, klutz."

Jack glared but took hold of the proffered hand, "Shut up, Yan." He grinned.

Ianto laughed again, Jack always acted childish and immature in the mornings. Add a hangover into the mixture and you get this.

"So... coffee?" Jack suddenly brightened and very nearly skipped into the kitchen.

-ooOoo-

"Come on, Jack." Jack grabbed his coat from where he flung it last night – on the floor next to the sofa – and sprinted out of the door after the Welshman. He nearly ran straight into the other, however, when he realised the younger man had stopped dead.

"Ianto?" Jack paced around him and saw what he was looking at, horror-struck. Jack gulped as he took in the SUV's appearance. There were several large scratches down the right side, as if they had brushed against something at a high speed. The right rear window was cracked, but that wasn't the worst of the damage. The front of the SUV was mangled into almost two separate pieces; it appeared as though you could fit a lamppost through the front of it. Jack felt a pair of stormy blue eyes burning a hole through his forehead.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Ianto forced out through gritted teeth. The Welshman began to advance on Jack with a dangerous expression. Jack was suddenly glad that Ianto didn't have his gun with him. He held up his hands in apology and backed away.

"Sorry, I was drunk I don't remember it!" Okay, so that was a lie. Still, a little white lie never hurt anyone right? Especially when Ianto was in a rampage and it was directed at you. Ianto in a rampage was not good. Ever.

Ianto turned away from his boss and ran a hand through his hair as he stared at, what was left of, the SUV. He began to mumble things to himself quietly. After a few seconds of this, Jack got curious.

"What are you doing?"

"Estimating how much it will cost to repair all of this."

"And?" Ianto let out a long string of profanities in Welsh. Jack cringed and watched as the younger man opened the driver's door, some broken glass crumbling to the floor.

"Were going in that?" Ianto raised his eyebrow.

"Do you see any other way we can get there in," Ianto checked his watch, "10 minutes?" An image of him on a cramped public bus swung into his mind. He quickly clambered in the passenger side. The older male opened his mouth to ask a question when Ianto cut him off.

"You think I would let you drive after one look of the SUV?" Jack quickly clamped his mouth shut and they drove to the Hub in silence.

-ooOoo-

Ignoring all the incredulous stares they got from everybody, the two males drove down near Roald Dahl Plass. What Jack saw next made him mentally facepalm. Ianto looked at all the scaffolding and builders and sped up towards the garage, parking the broken SUV in one of the many empty spaces. They both got out and walked out in silence, there was a pause, and then:

"You drove the SUV into the water tower?!"

Please review and add me to alerts! x