The door was shut. Lucy was once again shut out of Narnia, uncertain of when she was going to return. Perhaps that is what made Narnia a bittersweet memory and her life a waiting game. Every day, she would wake up thinking, 'Maybe today? Oh, please let it be today.' But that day would pass, and still she would go to sleep at night in her narrow boarding school bed. Oh, to be Queen of Narnia once more! To feel as if she was worth more than just a little schoolgirl.
When in Narnia, she felt alive in a way Lucy knew she would never feel in England. Lucy felt as if she could take on the world. Of course, that was easy with Aslan. When she was with him, she felt somehow as if, no matter what, everything would be fine. And it always was. He was her hero.
She couldn't understand how Peter and Susan could take the thought of their never coming back so calmly. Well, maybe she could. Susan was always like that. Never batting an eyelid at anything. But Lucy thought that Peter would have made more of an effort than he had. The very idea of not going back to Narnia! How could Peter go on? She would never understand.
So, she was back in England. And every day, she would hope. Hope that today would be the day. The day she could go home.