Title: Hostage Crisis

Rating: K

Summary: The Master's use of a certain robotic dog as a hostage backfires terribly ... Set in Tom Baker's era, but with Delgado's Master coz he's awesome.

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I just finished watching all the classic episodes on YouTube - that is, all those that haven't been removed yet...

Author's Note: I was thinking about how K-9 calls the Doctor "Master", and this was born...

Hostage Crisis

As he stood in his TARDIS, the Master smiled to himself. He had in his possession a weapon capable of destroying the universe, and one of the Doctor's companions as a hostage. Unfortunately the said-companion was what looked like a robotic dog and not a helpless young girl, but he was sure this wouldn't be a problem.

"Ha! I can't possibly fail now!" he exclaimed. K-9, despite his kidnapping, appeared undeterred.

"Based on my calculations, there is a 98 percent chance that the Master and the Mistress will rescue me," he stated. The Master turned to K-9, confused.

"What are you talking about? I'm the Master," he corrected.

"That may be the name you choose to take, but the one you know as the Doctor is my Master," replied K-9. The Master shivered.

"How dare he allow himself to be referred to in my name!" he cried. "You – dog – from now on you will only address me as Master."

"Negative! I am programmed only to know the Doctor as Master," said K-9. The Master cleared his throat and bent down to face K-9.

"I am the Master," he said calmly, "and you will obey me. You will obey me…"

"Sensors indicate that you are attempting to use the technique of hypnosis to influence my decision-making," analysed K-9. "I advise that this is an inefficient method, as I am a computer programmed to think by logic and follow my programming." The Master let out an exasperated sigh.

"Just shut your cake-hole," he muttered.

"Query: cake-hole?" inquired K-9. "I do not possess such a hole."

"It means mouth, you stupid machine," said the Master.

"I do not possess a mouth either," answered K-9. "Furthermore, I have an in-built database of practically all knowledge of the history of Earth and its surrounding planets up until the 51st century. If I were 'stupid' I would not contain such information."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" screamed the Master. K-9 was silent.

"Finally!" exclaimed the Master. Just then, a video-message came through on the scanner screen. It was the Doctor, with Romana behind him.

"Hello there Master," he said with a grin. "How are you getting along with my dog?" The Master attempted to remain calm.

"There are already a number of aspects of your life that I find unusual Doctor, so I won't bother asking why you travel with a computerised animal," he said.

"Indeed," remarked the Doctor. "K-9?"

"Yes, Master?" said K-9.

"Paralyse the Master with your nose-laser," said the Doctor darkly. "That's that Master, not me." The Master's eyes widened.

"Battery power – insufficient," said K-9. The Master smiled, but the Doctor was not beaten yet.

"Really," he said. "In that case, go into a detailed analysis of, er…"

"The changing parliamentary structure of Great Britain over time?" suggested Romana.

"Good one, Romana!" said the Doctor. "Yes, what she said."

"Affirmative Master, Mistress," answered K-9. "The first mode of parliament was laid down in…"

"Now," said the Doctor as K-9 kept talking, "we can negotiate. If you don't get rid of the universal destructor, I will be forced to…"

"To what, Doctor? Kill me? Banish me from the galaxy? Turn me in to the Time Lords?" mocked the Master.

"Oh no, none of that," said the Doctor with a twinkle in his eye. "If you don't destroy it, I will be forced leave K-9 in your hands."

"What?!" spluttered the Master. "But you can't…"

"Bring me the weapon, or you'll be keeping K-9 forever," repeated the Doctor. "You have one hour to decide." He grinned. An infuriated Master turned to K-9, who was babbling on about Margaret Thatcher, then turned back to the Doctor.

"You may have won this round Doctor, but next time you won't be so lucky!"

The End

Hehe I love K-9...

I always get a buzz from writing Classic Who. Plus I've officially established Tom Baker as my favourite Doctor. Anyway, please review.