Author's Note: Consider this a season 5 flash through time that we didn't see in the show! This probably happens before the episode 5x4. Although I suppose there really is no specified time line.
This one's for teh-Sara. :)
Obsession:
Juliet followed behind Sawyer. Currently, everyone else was taking a seat and resting, and they'd agreed to go and find some wood for a fire. Well.. technically she had volunteered and Sawyer had opted to go with her.
How was she suppose to think straight with him following her around? She wanted to get away from him, get some air from the group of nuts and instead he came right along with her. So now she found herself walking up a familiar hill, and she was just glad it was night-time, otherwise she'd be worried about reviewing a dreaded part of her life all over again.
Sawyer eyed her carefully. She wasn't saying a word, she just kept moving onward. "You doin' alright, Juliet?" he finally questioned. "You're runnin' through this area like you're afraid it might catch on fire."
Juliet turned and eyed him incredulously. Leave it to him to notice her rush to get through this area. "Listen James, I'm sure there's some things you don't want to share with me, just like there are some I don't want to share with yuh---"
The flash cut her off in the middle of talking.
"I sent Pickett and Tom to track their location and they came across this.."
Juliet froze instantly.
Sawyer looked on in shock as he heard Ben's voice, and then saw another Juliet following right behind him. He looked at her with slight confusion before looking back at Ben and Juliet number 2.
"I'm sorry Juliet."
"Sorry about what?" the other Juliet questioned, obviously confused.
But Juliet knew exactly what Ben was 'sorry' for. And as she turned to watch, she couldn't help the slight grief that came across her features.
Sawyer could only pretend not to notice her reaction. Obviously she remembered this clearly. But when her heard 'flash' Juliet's cries of 'oh my god' over and over was when he turned immediately to look down the hill as he watched her go running down there.
He glanced at the man.. impaled on a stick. And then at the real Juliet beside him, the tears in her eyes. He felt for her, because this was obviously somebody she cared for. He took her hand in his for a moment and squeezed, before he glanced back down and watched the 'other' Juliet touch the face of the dead man before her, as she tried to understand.
"What happened?!" flash Juliet called out to Ben above her. Her voice unusually wrought with emotions she wasn't used to showing.
"We don't know there weren't any witnesses.." Ben stated in a voice so cold and collected it actually made Sawyer feel weary watching the scene.
"I can only assume they found out he wasn't one of them," Ben stated, glancing, luckily, in the opposite direction they were viewing from. "Guess I should have listened to you."
Juliet bit down on her lip. She knew exactly what was coming, exactly what was about to happen. And for some sick reason, despite not wanting Sawyer to watch this.. she couldn't will her legs to move. She couldn't even will herself to look away from it all.
And Sawyer watched her.. clearly fighting with herself on whether or not to leave or stay and watch this all over again.
"Why are you showing me this?" the other Juliet questioned. And after a few moments of Ben's silence she asked, "Why did you bring me out here?"
"What, you mean instead of his wife?" Ben asked coldly.
Sawyer watched in shock as Ben turned to leave with that statement.
Juliet could only find herself able to look down and study the ground.
But Sawyer hadn't expected more. At least not until the other Juliet spoke again.
"You knew this would happen.." she stated through the tears. And watched as Ben turned to look at her.
Sawyer stared.. only able to keep his eyes on the flash Juliet's face. He'd never seen her face so distraught, so sad.. so filled with emotion in the entire time that he's known her.
"You sent him out here before you knew this would happen.." she said quietly. But her voice rose now with the emotion and tears. "You wanted this.. you wanted him to die.." she huffed out. "Why?" she asked in defeat.
Sawyer was stunned into watching.
Juliet found herself glancing at the shock on Sawyer's face. Instead she could only close her eyes as she waited for the answer she knew Ben would give.
"Why?" Ben asked in disbelief. "You're asking me.. why?!"
Sawyer admitted, this was the first time he'd ever seen or heard real emotion from Ben too. And suddenly he wondered.. did Juliet and Ben have a relationship together?
"After everything I did to get you here.. after everything I've done to KEEP you here.." he stated angrily.
Sawyer's eyes widened.
"How can you possibly not understand.. that you're mine."
The flash Juliet only had tears of disbelief in reaction.
And Sawyer felt the remnants of another flash coming on as he watched Ben's demeanor turn back to cold and calculating.
"Take as much time as you need.." was all they heard before the sky lit up.
Juliet was silent, even as the rain poured over them both now. She found herself only feeling more and more vulnerable after what had happened. Luckily for the rain, Sawyer wouldn't be able to see the tears as well.
Sawyer finally dared to look at Juliet beside him. He could tell from the red of her eyes she was crying, and from the way she held tightly onto his hand.. he wasn't sure what to do, what to say. So he did the only thing he could think of.. which was pull her to him and wrap his arms around the woman he didn't like very much until these flashes started.
Juliet stood stunned in Sawyer's embrace. She couldn't find it in her to embrace him in return, instead she only managed to tightly grip his shirt in her fists as she tried to hold it all in. She wouldn't break down, she couldn't. The last time after that incident, that'd she'd broken down even vaguely had been with Jack outside the Tempest. She wouldn't.. no she couldn't, let herself be vulnerable like that again.
Sawyer watched as she fought a losing battle to control what she felt. "Juliet.." he stated carefully. But he didn't get much out other then that.
Instead Juliet pulled away from him instantly and started walking. "We need to get back."
Sawyer watched. He could only be amazed at how brave her voice sounded compared to how he'd just seen her. That woman had pent up emotions that he wasn't sure should be anywhere but continued to be locked up like an animal in the zoo. But he also knew she needed to let it out.
So he took a couple large steps after her and grabbed her hand. "Juliet, wait.." he told her.
"Get off of me," Juliet growled out, pulling her arms from him and turning around. "Don't think that just because you saw that means you know me, James."
Sawyer's eyes softened in reaction. So her issue was with the fact he already saw her vulnerability? "I do know you," he told her. "But.. not because of that."
Juliet narrowed her eyes. "You don't know a damn thing."
"Really?" Sawyer questioned. "I might not know as much about you as you do about me, but I know.." he told her. "Why didn't you just tell us Ben kept you here?" he stated. "Why didn't you tell us he wouldn't let you leave?"
Juliet opened her mouth to speak.. but she couldn't find the words to come out.
"Exactly.." Sawyer stated. "You didn't care what we thought, Juliet.." he told her. "You let us believe we couldn't trust you, but look around Juliet!"
Juliet stared at him.
"You want to get the hell out of here just as much as the rest of us," he told her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You wanted to get away from him."
Juliet couldn't help the words that slipped from her mouth next. "I hate him.."
Sawyer stared at her in silence now. Although he was fairly sure she was talking about Ben. "I don't blame you.." he said carefully. But the response made her pull away again, to walk away again. He sighed and reached his arm out, taking her hand again.
"Let go," she warned him.
"I ain't lettin' go," he replied. "Don't keep runnin', just stop, for just a second stop.." he told her. "Let it all out."
Juliet turned, staring at him. She opened her mouth.. but again no words came out in response. She wanted so badly to just hit him right now.
Sawyer could already see the rage in her eyes. She definitely wanted to hit him. "You wanna punch me? Go for it. Slap me? Go ahead.." he told her. "Show me you're feeling something."
Juliet bit down on her lip. And as much as she thought it would feel great to kick him below the belt right now, she managed not to do so.
"For once, just once, Juliet.. let the self control go like you did down there with Ben. Show yourself that you ain't his. That he don't control you."
That worked.
Juliet wrenched her arm back and knocked him square onto his ass.
Sawyer rubbed his jaw. The girl had a helluva right hook, he couldn't lie about that. "Feel better?" he questioned as she sat down in front of him.
"I'm sorry.." she muttered out.
Sawyer chuckled. "No yer' not.. but I forgive ya."
Juliet simply covered her face with her hands. "I wish I could just kill him.. but I can't. Even now.. if I had the chance.."
Sawyer watched her carefully.
"After everything he's done.. to me, to you.. to everyone.." she muttered. "If someone handed me a gun and Ben was right there, just standing there, I couldn't do it."
Sawyer's eyes softened slightly. And that was what made her different from the rest of them. "And if he had a gun on someone else, and someone handed you that gun?"
"I'd shoot him," she answered without hesitation.
Sawyer smiled. "That is what makes ya' a great person, Juliet."
Juliet couldn't help the sniffle that came out as she wiped her eyes of the rain and the tears. And this time when Sawyer pulled her to him, she rested her head on his shoulder and simply let go.
Sawyer admitted.. this was beyond awkward for the two of them. Especially when a few minutes passed and her breathing evened out. He knew that meant she fell asleep, and he didn't have to heart to wake her up. So instead he lifted her up, carrying her back to the place everyone was resting. And when he arrived to see all the strange looks, his only excuse was.. "She fell."
()()END()()
Just thought Juliet needed to get some of those pent up frustrations out during those flashes. She doesn't have enough break-downs for my liking. Everyone else gets angry and upset, mostly we only see that from her in flashbacks.. or, a certain last couple episodes of a season.. *cough* season 5 *cough*.