Now that everyone was back at camp, safe, they had to learn to carry on. Without the ones that had been lost and the pieces of their souls that went with them.

They had all been through so much but they were coping, all in their own ways. Many of them shared tents and beds with others now. Everyone had nightmares and it was better to deal with them, with someone who would understand then to do it alone.

So people often walked around in pairs now, unwilling to lose sight of one another. Jasper and Monty spent every moment with each other and Jasper was more protective of his friend than usual. Monty didn't mind and was pleased to spend his days beside his best friend.

Raven and Wick were together now which made sense because they understood each other and Wick made Raven laugh in a way that Clarke had never seen from her before. They were good for each other and Clarke was happy for them.

Octavia and Bellamy didn't like to be apart for long either though Octavia shared her tent with Lincoln and Bellamy stayed in his alone. Clarke loved seeing the siblings reunited and often felt jealous of their family bond, one that she would never have.

She knew that Bellamy was having a rough time though and they had only been back at camp for a day or so. She didn't know what happened to him in Mt Weather but she knew he was exhausted and that he hadn't yet gone to bed.

She went to the dining area and saw him at a table dazedly stirring around the mush of food on his plate. Octavia was looking at him with concern and looked relieved when Clarke came over.

"Hey Clarke's here! Bell why don't you let her check you over?" Bellamy looked up at Clarke like a little boy that finally found his mother in the supermarket but shook his head at Octavia's request.

Octavia looked sadly at her brother and took Clarke's arm to lead her away from the table a bit.

"Could you give him something to make him sleep? He's exhausted but he refuses to go to bed and I can tell something's up with him but he won't even talk about what happened in Mount Weather. I'm worried Clarke."

She nodded and smiled reassuringly at the young girl. "Okay I'll see what I can do."

The girls went back to the table and Octavia knelt down beside Bellamy.

"Hey big brother, Clarke's gonna take you to bed okay? You need to sleep and she can help so do what she says and get some rest okay?" She kissed his forehead and he lent forward for a hug resting his head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him.

"It's alright Bell, Clarke's gonna take care of you and I'll see you when you wake up."

She released him from the hug and Bellamy looked up at Clarke with such trust. He still looked a little dazed so Clarke took hold of his arm and led him back to his tent. Once inside she sat him down on his small bed and began taking his boots off.

"Clarke?" She looked up at his scared expression and couldn't help brushing his hair back before beginning to pull his heavy jacket off his shoulders.

"I'm right here Bellamy. It's okay you just need some sleep." He nodded and watched her as she finished with his jacket and pushed his shoulders gently to get him to lie down.

He lay down and curled his legs up, feeling small and scared. He didn't want to sleep, not when he knew the nightmares were waiting. He hadn't told anyone about what happened, he was supposed to be strong, a leader, and leaders didn't get scared of sleeping alone.

He didn't realize he was crying until Clarke wiped the tears from his cheeks. She sighed as she pulled the blankets up around his shoulders and rested a hand on his head, playing with his curls.

"It's okay to need help sometimes Bellamy."

He sniffed a clutched at the blanket trying to calm down. Clarke had to strain what he heard next, he was whispering like if he said it quietly it would be so bad.

"I killed a man with my bare hands. I had to, I know that but I killed him and-" Deep breath.

"Clarke he had a son. He was so little and he asked me if I knew his dad because his dad was training to be ground patrol. He was so excited and I almost threw up when I realized. I took his family away. He's still in pre-school and he doesn't have a dad anymore because of me."

Clarke was crying now too and she moved the blanket back to slip her arms around him. She cradled the shaking boy and held him so tight like she could protect him from this pain if only she held him right.

He shook with such despair that he had been keeping to himself for too long. His body was so exhausted that he didn't have the energy to pretend anymore.

After he settled down, more exhausted than before, she carefully got into the bed with him and let him curl inter her. He pressed his face to her neck and breathed in the scent of safety. He felt her hand find his as he asked "Do you think my mum would forgive me?"

"Of course she would. She would be so proud of you, you have taken care of Octavia and made her strong. You have taken care of this entire camp and saved countless lives. You were willing to die for the people you care about. Of course she would Bell."

She rubbed a hand on his back felling his shuddering breaths slow.

"You can sleep now. I'll be right here with you and I'm not gonna leave."

"Thanks Princess."