For our words
Disclaimer: I DO NOT, and probably never will own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Summary: Sticks and stones may break ones bones, but words can always hurt you.
Donatello stared with distraught eyes at Leonardo. Their brother. They had caused this to their only big brother. The condition Leonardo was in, was anything but Ok. He was connected to many nutrient wires to help build back up the pounds of weight he had lost.
The eldest brother had always been the second heaviest, next to Raphael. Leonardo had started out a good 204 lbs in pure muscle. Now he was left a mere 99 lbs in human female weight.
The eldest brother had a large tube shoved professionally down his esophagus, traveling all of the way down to his stomach. The tube had a brownish liquid slowly traveling through, to feed the literally starved eldest brother.
IVs filled with more nutrient chemicals, water and blood were connected to both Leonardo's nearly paper white arms. Donatello held a clipboard in his grasp, skimming carefully over his brothers data for any changes. Nothing. Still the same way its been for the past 4 weeks.
Donatello sighed in disappointment due to the fact that nothings changed. Raising his head, the olive green turtle reached over and gently ran his fingers over Leonardo's many, and deep, self inflicted cuts, tears reasonably trickling his eyes as he studied both of the pale turtles
"G-d, Leo. How could we...how could we have done this to you?"
A loud, sudden beeping knocked the immediate youngest out of his trance. Donatello knew what that meant. Leonardo was full.
The purple masked brother smiled gently at this, placing his clipboard at Leonardo's bed side. Using both hands, Donatello disconnected the tube from the liquidated food, allowing the tip of the tube to be free. The olive green brother shivered as he grasped the tube.
Too many memories came back to him as he even simply touched the tube. The first time he had found out that Leonardo was starving himself dangerously, he had no choice but to immediately force feed him.
But knowing Leonardo, he refused from being controlled over. Using all of the strength he didn't even possess to try and fight against Raphael, breaking both wrists in the process. Donatello shook his head as the images continued to flash in his mind, replaying the whole situation all over again.
"GET OFF OF ME! LET ME F****** GO!"
"LEO! STOP IT! I HAVE TO DO THIS! YOUR GOING TO DIE IF I DON'T!"
Leonardo thrashed violently in Donatello's grasp, absolutely refusing to go into the lab. The moment, the olive green brother had mentioned feeding the forest green eldest, Leonardo completely flipped.
"RAPH! HELP ME! HURRY!"
Raphael came bolting into the living room, his eyes filled to the brim with a completely unexplained emotion. The immediate eldest hurriedly picked up Leonardo, throwing him over his broad shoulder as he sprinted to the lab, Donatello not far behind.
Leonardo continued to scream his heart out, banging on Raphael's shell, trying to yank his body out of the red masked turtles, too strong grip. His panic and fit only got worse as he was thrown into a chair, leaned back, and strapped down.
"NO! NO! DONNIE PLEA-...!"
Donatello didn't even give Leonardo a chance to say anything before a large tube was making its way down his throat. Leonardo gagged and struggled as the tube moved painfully down his esophagus.
The eldest arched his back in pure agony, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. His hands threw themselves up as far as they could go with his wrists being strapped and broken, saliva dripping hastily from each corner of his mouth. Leonardo screamed as the brownish liquidated food went down his throat and gagged as he felt it in his stomach.
The screaming lasted for so long, until it turned silent.
Donatello sighed inwardly, lowering his head to stare at Leonardo's covered eyes. The olive green brother lowered his hand to stroke his eldest's face, smiling sadly.
"Leo? I'm gonna take the tube out now. Brace alright, big brother?"
Leonardo didn't hear him at all, but his body jolted as the tube moved from the inside of him. His back arched, a choked muffled sound releasing from his throat as the long tube was pulled out.
Donatello kept strong concentration and quiet as he removed the tube, not wanting, at all, to hit something important inside of his brothers stomach. Once the tube was removed, Donatello immediately placed Leonardo back on the oxygen.
The fact that Leonardo was, now, so small and his plastron was so heavy, his plastron slightly crushed a part of his lungs, restricting his breathing a bit. Donatello gripped his brothers overly bony hand, stroking Leonardo's forehead gently.
"Leo. I'm so sorry. You've been unconscious for so long, and its all because of what we had been saying to you. I've always known you suffered from anything that had to do with worry, and sometimes even self esteem..but I continued to take advantage of that. Our opinion had always meant so much to you, but we failed you.
It wasn't right, Leo. We led you down a path of dangerous self harm."
Donatello looked back down to Leonardo's arms, both which were littered with many different self inflicted cuts from his own blades, and rubbed them gently, shivering at the bumps he felt.
"You gave yourself over 67 total cuts, big bro. And thats just on your arms."
The immediate youngest lightly pulled the heavy blanket from his siblings legs, his eyes automatically widening at the sight of the damage, even though he had seen it so many times.
"On your legs...over 74 cuts total. 56 small cuts on your right leg, and 18 deep ones on your left."
Donatello stared back up at Leonardo's eyes, which were covered with a wet towel.
"You can't even close your eyes, Leo. Your too dehydrated. All of the moisture in your eyes are gone.
I had to connect you to a constant supply of water. But it explains why you no longer have any more green in your skin."
Donatello reached over to gently grip Leonardo's almost, literal, stick of an arm and sweetly massaged his bicep.
"Your body isn't the same anymore, Leo. I'm still trying to get your arms back to at least the size of my hands cupped together. But your body is just too small."
Donatello had tears pouring down his face as he spoke to the deaf ears of Leonardo.
The immediate youngest brought the eldest's hand up and lips, placing a gentle kiss on each pale-white, boney knuckle.
"Im so sorry, Leo."
Seconds passed before a soft knock on the lab door was heard.
"Donnie? Can I come in, bro?"
Donatello stared up at the medical lab door with the still hard saddened face he held.
"Come in, Raph."
Raphael slowly, and quietly opened the door to the medical lab, and continued inside. The immediate eldest stopped smoothly in front of Donatello with the same expression as his little brother as he stared down at Leonardo.
The guilt built forcefully as Raphael took in every detail, every wire, every tube involved in his overly weak brother. Donatello shared the same despair, for they were the ones that caused Leonardo's downfall.
"So..uh..*clears throat quietly* hows he doin', Don?"
Donatello shook and lowered his head for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.
"He's not doing any better than he was 4 weeks ago. I fear he's getting worse, but it may be my imagination."
Raphael tipped his head to the side at his immediate youngest's words.
"Donnie, ya can't be imagin'n things like dat. We gotta be sure he ge's his strength back up. Not think of other ways he could die."
Donatello nodded slowly in understanding as he gently stroked Leonardo's knuckles with his thumb, bringing them back up to his lips for another soft kiss.
"Where's Mikey? How's he taking all of this? Any change?"
Raphael shrugged, shaking his head as he closed his eyes. Donatello knew Raphael wasn't always one of many words when he was stressed or worried, so it was rather simple to tell that what his emerald brother had said was "no".
"Any negati'e emotion Mikey got trippin' up in his head only increases e'ry damn day. 'Specially his anger. Little man's pissed what seems like 24/7."
"Oh."
Michelangelo had not been the same since what they had done to Leonardo.
Anyone wouldn't be, but the youngest had changed majorly. He was angry at everyone. Angry at everything. Angry at himself. Nothing nice no longer came out of the youngest's mouth, and fighting was 8 hours a day, daily with him and Raphael.
Donatello sighed as he stood slowly, stretching the kinks out of his neck and walked over to his immediate eldest with a gentle smile. Raphael held a bland expression as he stared back at his youngest sibling, before nodding and stepping out of his way.
"I'll be back in a little bit, Raph. I just have to go see how Mikey's doing. Its hard for the little one to deal with his emotions in hard times."
Donatello stopped at the door, his hand held on the door frame to turn and look back on Raphael, his eye ridge up in slight amusement.
"Ya know, big bro. You and Mikey are kinda alike in a way."
Raphael shot his head around, anger and utter disagreement glittering his features. But before he could speak his protests, his purple clad brother was gone.
The emerald turtle sighed, shaking his head in annoyance as he sat himself in the chair Donatello once occupied and studied his leader. Raphael couldn't even believe his eyes. He couldn't believe himself. He had caused this to his own damned brother.
"We went too far, Leo. We hella went too far."
The Sai welder reached over and gently stroked his brothers cheek, wincing ever so slightly as he felt almost EVERY bone in Leonardo's face.
"Damn, Leo."
Grabbing his brothers fragile hand in his own, Raphael put the appendage to his lips
And allowed tears he had no idea built, fall with no hesitation.
"M'so sorry, big brother. Im so sorry."
Raphael gently kissed Leonardo's hand, a silent sob escaping his lips. The red clad ninja suddenly chuckled at a random memory, remembering when him and Leonardo were able to be like this and not have his ego or his pride get in the way.
"LEO! LEO COME QUICKLY!"
In no time at all, Leonardo was at Raphael's side, panting in panic and his eyes wide.
"Raphie what's wrong?! Are you ok?!"
Raphael lunged for his brother, wrapping his tiny arms as tight around his big brother as he could.
Leonardo didn't have to say more, already knowing his younger sibling had, had a nightmare. The eldest of the two sweetly wrapped his arms back around Raphael, shushing him gently as he stroked his neck and head.
"Shh...its ok, baby brother. Shhhh...dont cry."
The eldest gasped as he felt Raphael literally pull him into the bed with him still silently sobbing. Leonardo smiled gently as he laid them down and pulled the blanket tightly around both of them and tucked Raphael's head under his chin.
"Don't worry, Raphie. I'll protect you."
Raphael sighed in defeat at the memory. It was a damned shame that a memory as brotherly as that was so many years ago. That last time he had ever given Leonardo a hug was when they were about 10. 8 fricking years ago. Raphael was deep in thought, until he felt the TINIEST squeeze to his hand.
The emerald brother gasped as he shot his head up, Leonardo's hand still held tightly, yet gently in his grasp.
"Leo?"
The eldest didn't respond, which downed Raphael's thoughts to believe it was merely his imagination. That is until he felt it once again, only a bit tighter.
It was silent for a moment. Silence hit in every direction. Raphael could not even hear the constant beeping of machines. His world and mind set was COMPLETELY on his big brother.
A loud beeping suddenly sprang throughout the med bay. The immediate eldest was, indeed, confused and surely frightened for a moment but remembered what that beeping meant.
Raphael chuckled lightly as he brought his big brothers hand up to his lips one more time.
"Ya hungry, big brother? Don' worry, i'll get Donnie. Hang tight, man."
Reaching over and covering Leonardo's ears, Raphael shouted for his little sibling.
"DONNIE! C'ME 'ERE!"
Donatello was in the room in a straight heart beat, his hand covering over his heart as he bursted in.
"WHAT?! WHATS WRONG?!"
Raphael's lips puckered the side, his eyes hooded at his brothers drama.
"Nothin'. Leo's hungry. Feed 'im."
The olive green turtle smacked his lips in annoyance, nudging his brother out of the way to reach the tube, and the package of liquid food.
Raphael had already sat himself on the other side of Leonardo's bed,
His eye ridges raised in wonder. Donatello smiled lightly as he hovered the tube over his big brothers mouth. Taking one hand away, the purple clad brother gently placed his hand on Leonardo's cheek.
"Ok, Leo. Its time for you to eat again. You ready?"
Donatello, like usual, did not receive a response, but did not want to keep his sibling starving any longer. Donatello lightly forced the large tube passed Leonardo's lips, and made his way down carefully. Raphael's eyes enlarged as Leonardo's hand suddenly tightened greatly in the immediate eldest's grasp.
Leonardo gagged loudly as the tube made its way down, his back arched sharply, the pain being immense as he cried out softly. Raphael winced hard as he could visibly see the tube make its way down.
"Damn. Oh Damn. Donnie, how much does that tube hurt 'im?"
Donatello didn't respond quite yet, until he was finished with inserting the tube and connecting it to the food source. The immediate youngest sighed, his eyes unseeing as kept his stare on Leonardo.
"It hurts him very much. But...seeing how he's unconscious, there's really no way he can show that."
Raphael slowly released his brothers hand, and gingerly placed it back upon the bed. One hard movement, and Leonardo's entire arm would be broken, from the shoulder down.
"Shit."
The red masked turtle stood harshly, and stomped out of the door, the guilt eating away at him too deeply.
Donatello watched as his brother left the med bay, harshly, but silently shutting the door in the process. The youngest genius lowered his head back down, the guilt also being too strong for him to bear.
Hope ya'll enjoyed. I'll see if I can get another chapter up ;) Read and Review