a/n: and now. Time for the final book in the Gallifrey's Everlasting Hope series! Enjoy!
Chapter 1
"Hey River."
"Hey."
This had been the extent of conversations for the past 3 months. Ever since they lost Nathaniel, River had been downright depressed. Sure, she would put on a happy face and smile for the kids, but here in private with her husband, this was all he heard. No "sweetie", no "I love you", she had even lost the passion that burned like a fire inside her when they made love. The Doctor remembers one time she broke down crying during sex saying how she "couldn't kill another one...". The Doctor wasn't angry with her over any of this, it really wasn't anything she could control. But River was in a dark place. Everyone, even Rory, could tell.
The Doctor turned out the lamp by his side of the bed and rolled over to look at River. She was propped up in bed with a baggy t-shirt on, arms folded across her chest, and head laid back against the headboard. Her hair was in a messy bun, the way she usually wore it to bed.
"River..." The Doctor breathed, pressing his face against her arm and taking in her scent. Vanilla and honey, his addiction.
No response. Just a blank stare. It wasn't even directed at him though.
"River please speak to me." He sat up in his boxers. He climbed in the sheets towards her then straddled her, sitting in her lap.
"I have nothing to say Doctor." She swallowed. Her voice was shaky, obviously from trying to detain the stinging tears that he saw in her eyes. The Doctor cupped his face in her hands.
"River, you don't have to hold back in front of me. You should know that." He whispered, looking into those beautiful spring green eyes. River collapsed onto his shoulder, sobbing silently. He just patted her back and whispered sweet nothings into her ear while she wept. He wrapped his long legs around her lower back, closing the space between them. She raised her head and looked at him, mascara running from her now mossy green eyes.
"It's all my fault you know? Those 3 children lying in their beds were miracles in themselves, but we pushed it too far and the universe punished me for it. Us, really, but It's me and my stupid body's fault that I can't give you another baby. I don't feel like a woman anymore...or even a decent wife for you..." Her sobbing intensified and she started to make small noises into his shoulder. The Doctor twirled a strand of golden curl around his finger and rubbed her back.
"That's pure rubbish River. You have enough woman in you for the entire universe. That's true, they all are miracles, But it is not your fault. Never was, never will be. You are my wife, mother of all 3 of my beautiful children, and that is good enough for me." The Doctor kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly until she broke free and turned off the lamp. The Doctor got out of her lap and back to his side of the bed as she laid on her side. He cuddled up behind her, spooning her. He was just minutes from sleep when he heard River mutter the first "I love you" he had heard in 3 months.
"I love you too Riv." He smiled, content, as he drifted into sleep.