AN: A strange idea that occured to me while falling asleep last night... I originally wanted to do it script-form, but since doesn't allow scripts, I wrote it in story form.

Please remember that this is parody, I'm poking fun at the characters, so there are character OOC-ness. This is done purely for fun, no character bashing is intended.

TALKING TO THE COUPLES
Episode One: Athrun and Lacus

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In a studio somewhere in the country of Orb, a camera started rolling. A black-haired young woman walked in, sat on the chair set out for her and looked into the camera.

"Hi everyone, welcome to Talking to the Couples the newest, hottest talk show where the couples tell all, and hopefully won't end up in couples therapy (although the clinic did pay us a hefty sum sponsoring the show). I'm your host, MapleRose. For our first show, we have invited one of the PLANTs' most popular couples, Athrun Zala and Lacus Clyne. Come on in guys!"

The camera shifted to reveal a girl with long pink hair and a boy with blue hair walking in and sitting on the couch opposite MapleRose.

"Welcome to the show," MapleRose gestured with a smile, "Thank you for coming."

"Thank you for inviting us," answered the boy named Athrun.

"So, let's start with the basic question, how did you guys meet?"

Lacus and Athrun exchanged brief looks as if deciding who to answer. Finally, it was Lacus who replied, "We met when we were very young, actually, I can't quite remember our first meeting. But our fathers brought us together and I think Athrun's father brought him over to my house."

"Was it love at first sight?" MapleRose asked hopefully.

A slight blush stained Lacus' pale cheeks. "Well, I'm not sure if I remember correctly, but I think that I thought Athrun was very nice and sweet."

MapleRose turned to Athrun, "And what about you Athrun?"

Athrun seemed startled. "Me? Uh, probably not. I mean, I think I was like seven, I still thought girls were icky back then."

The pink-haired princess turned to Athrun, surprise on her face, "But Athrun, didn't you tell me that you've always liked me?" She sounded almost hurt.

At her expression, Athrun quickly replied, "Oh I've always liked you, I just didn't think of you as, you know, 'more than a friend' until my teenage years."

MapleRose nodded. "I see. So I guess you guys were okay with the fact that you were engaged?"

"Well, it's not like we had a choice," replied Lacus, "But Athrun was pretty good about it, I mean, he gave me the cute Pink-chan!"

"I had no problem with it," Athrun added, "It makes all of my friends jealous," he grinned. Then at Lacus' incredulous look, he quickly added, "And Lacus was a really nice person, I wouldn't mind getting married to her."

MapleRose stifled a laugh at Athrun's nervousness. Clearing her throat, she asked the next question, a question that a lot of teenage fans wanted to know about. "If things were good between you two, why did you guys break up? I mean, you guys were the most popular couple in the PLANTs, the most eligible bachelor and the popular pop idol."

Before Lacus could open her mouth, Athrun jumped in. "My father broke us up, because Lacus went against his policies."

MapleRose sighed, it seemed that he was avoiding the issue. "But wasn't the emotional break-up before that?" she pressed. "Lacus was seen with another guy and Athrun was seen with another girl. What happened?"

This time, it was Lacus who answered. "Well, I found that Kira's much nicer and sweeter than Athrun."

"WHAT!" cried Athrun in disbelief.

Lacus continued matter-of-factly. "I found that Athrun seemed to be neglecting me lately, what with fighting the war and all. When I tried to comfort him on the Vesalius about Kira, he pushed me away, saying that he can't be happy because he's fighting a war. "Fighting a war", that's all he talks about these days! I feel that war was more important to him than I was. It was then that I knew it wasn't going to work out. So I took revenge on him by dating his best friend."

"…" Both Athrun and Maplerose's mouths hung open at that comment. Athrun opened and closed his mouth to speak, but no words came out. MapleRose whispered in disbelief, "Wow, I had no idea that Lacus was so…" she trailed off, unable to find the right word.

Athrun cleared his throat a few times and finally seemed able to find his voice.

Well, well I don't care!" he stuttered. "I mean, Cagalli's, Cagalli's much… uh, prettier? no, uh, nicer? no, influential? no, popular? no…"

Then, as if making the discovery of the century, he palmed his face and cried out, "Oh why did I ever break up with Lacus!" He turned to the pink-haired girl, "Come on Lacus, aren't I better than Kira? I mean, I gave you all of those Haros, and what did Kira give you? Nothing! So Lacus, see, I'm better," he pleaded.

Lacus sighed and shook her head. "Actually Athrun, except for Pink-chan, those other Haros are actually quite annoying. Couldn't you have made something else besides Haros?" Then she turned to MapleRose, "Also, Kira needed me more. I mean, Athrun had his father to give him the new mobile suit, and Kira, I needed to steal the Freedom for him."

"You don't mind stealing for him!" asked MapleRose in surprise.

Lacus replied with her signature sweet smile. "I was just returning him the favour for saving me from that Fllay and those other EA thugs." Her voice lowered to a mumble then, "How dare they take me hostage!"

Before MapleRose could comment, Athrun cut in. He seemed quite worked up over this. "Fine! Who needs you anyway!" he told Lacus indignantly. "This was all my idea anyway. I, I'm taking revenge on Kira for taking my fiancée by dating his sister! Ha! So there!" he stuck out his tongue at his ex-fiancée.

MapleRose sighed and shook her head and say almost to herself, "Dude, you need to work on your revenge schemes…I heard Fllay has some neat ideas…"

But neither of the couple heard that comment, as they were busy still arguing.

"That's fine with me," Lacus retorted. "As long as I have Kira. You can date whomever you want for all I care!"

"Maybe I should take Kira away them," mumbled Athrun half to himself.

"What!" Lacus exclaimed. "That's just so wrong on so many levels!"

"I agree…" the host nodded. Athrun moved as if to make a comeback, but before he could do so, MapleRose jumped in.

"Anyway, that's all the time we have for this show! Hope you've enjoyed listening as much as they've enjoyed sharing." She paused and looked back towards Lacus and Athrun, who had their backs to each other and not talking, and smiled sheepishly, "Or, maybe not…Anyway, tune in next week for our interview with Kira and Fllay!"

AN: yup, I decided to make myself the host. I have to say, it's rather weird to refer to myself in third person... yeah Lacus is waaay ooc, but that's why it's so fun to do :)

I've got nothing against Cagalli or AsuCaga, just thought it was fun to have Athrun stutter like that.

Anyway, comments, critiques, reviews welcome! Oh, and if anyone can come up with a better title for the show, please tell me!