I'm not dead - just so you know. :D Anyway, I figured I'd post this to let you know that. It was a Christmas present that I wrote for FallInLoveTonight - and it may have taken me longer than I wanted, so - hence why it's posted five days after Christmas.
disclaimer; I don't own Johnny Cade - never will, unfortunately. And I didn't write the quote, I have no idea who did - I found it on xanga somewhere, if you know the originator please let me know :D
Merry Christmas!
And hopefully you'll have a great 2010!
From Me to You.
emilyannexx.
[1234]
"Here comes the cold. Break out the winter clothes and find a love of your own. When it comes to December it's obvious why no one wants to be alone at Christmas time."
[1234]
I really thought that I disliked the kid – with his greased hair and that old jean jacket of his. And, the scar – that awful scar on his childish face. It just turns a person, doesn't it? I mean, how could it not?
I honestly felt bad for Johnny Cade, I really did. I couldn't help it, just like he couldn't help being who he was.
That's what I thought two years ago, before I ever even actually talked to the guy. It wasn't long until we were fatefully partnered together for science lab. (Fatefully may have been a slight exaggeration – but you never know, it could've been fate.) Up until then, I hadn't even thought about the fact that there was chance Johnny didn't even know who I was.
"Rosalyn Marsh," I simply told him as I set my books down next to his while I slid onto the stool across the table.
He didn't look up – and I wasn't even sure he acknowledged what I said. (later on I mentally slapped myself – I knew he was a quiet kid, his body just screamed it, and I was too oblivious to notice it.) I decided he had, and wasn't sure how I felt about his response, well, lack of response.
"..as in, that's my name," I couldn't help but cough when he looked up from the lab table at me.
"I know," Johnny said simply before picking at nothing again.
Those two words confused the hell out of me. And, those two words changed me. I knew there was something about Johnny Cade that intrigues me and fascinated me to no end. There was always something more to it.
But, Johnny Cade mostly confused me overall.
We came to know each other inside and out. I told him things that I never dreamed of telling anyone else. He put trust in me, and opened up – and I really had no idea why.
Funny thing, though, I don't even know if we were friends.
[1234]
I (along with most the kids around this side of town) learned from an early age not to make a huge deal about Christmas. And, I was probably around eight when my mother first told me that Santa Claus actually didn't exist. (I guess she didn't want me to be too disappointed that year when I only found five small presents under the tree with the name 'Rosie', my name, on them.)
One thing about Christmas, that was really the only thing, which really mattered, was family. (Well, and as you grew older, really good friends.)
I guess I considered myself lucky for that. My family was close. My family was kind. Most importantly – my family was really loving.
Something I knew a lot of other kids didn't have.
Kids like Johnny.
It was Christmas Eve, so the weather wasn't my idea of great. It was cold, cold enough to need a jacket or two – but of course I wasn't dressed properly. I hardly ever was in weather like this.
I made my way closer to the abandoned lot, not one of my favorite places in the world – but a place I found myself going more and more every month, I knew I would find Johnny there, I normally did. And, when I didn't, I knew he was at the Ponyboy Curtis' house, so I never continued looking for him. As I approached, I saw his figure, and continued – for a reason unbeknownst to me.
"Hey," I said softly, and I made my way over to wear he was sitting. Johnny nodded at me in recognition as his hello, which I never understood why guys thought this was a proper greeting. I sat across from him, and wrapped my arms around myself in attempt to keep work – despite the little fire that Johnny had made sometime before I arrived.
"What're you doin' here?" He asked me out of his own curiosity.
I shrugged in response, how was I supposed to know what I was doing there? My feet led me here, and I supposed it was to find it. "I guess to see how you were doing, I don't know." Sifting a bit, I reached into my back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes – a habit I knew I should quit, and a habit I knew plenty of guys found unattractive with girls (even though they did it themselves, too), and offered one to Johnny after taking one myself.
"Thanks, Rosie," He took one after thanking me.
Nodding, as I lit mine. "Tell me you aren't going to sit out here all night, Johnny. There are only so many ways to attempt to keep yourself warm in weather like this." I knew that wasn't really the only reason, but I knew he didn't want my pity – I couldn't help it.
He shrugged, and I figured that he didn't even think about leaving the lot until I said something. "I don't know, maybe. And I ain't cold." That was a blatant lie if I had ever heard one – but I knew he couldn't help it, and he would never admit that the cold bothered him to me.
I rolled my eyes and looked at him. Christmas may not have been the best time for him, okay – so, no time was ever the best for him, but no one deserved to be out in the cold on Christmas Eve. "That's bullshit, Johnny Cade."
Johnny looked at me and said nothing. Something he did a lot.
I looked back at him, but eventually gave in and continued talking. I wasn't one to stay quiet too long – and it tended to get my in trouble at times. And, that may have been why Johnny finally talked to me – out of pure annoyance and to get me to shut up.
"At least come over and grab something to eat. Mom just finished making apple pie, it's cooling now," I paused. "I'm sure it's cooled by now. Besides – no one can resist a slice of apple pie."
I got up in attempt to motivate him.
Johnny stayed where he was and flicked ashes off of his cigarette before he spoke. "Your mom made that pie for you Gram coming into town in the morning for Christmas. I can't eat that."
I laughed at him, literally. "Johnny! It's just pie – so what if it's missing a slice. If you want, I'll even say Bruce did it." My older brother did have a habit of eating more than he should, so it probably wouldn't even be a complete lie in the morning.
Johnny still didn't move, but looked back at me. "You can even think of it as my Christmas present to you, without the whole 'to Johnny, from Rosie' gift tag."
He smiled, and I could tell that there was a laugh hidden somewhere inside of him – so I walked closer and stood him front of him. "Please, Johnny? You don't want me to have to return it, would you!"
I knew it was childish for me to play the Christmas-card, considering the fact that I wasn't even sure if he was going to be celebrating the holiday, but I figured it had to have been worth a short. I reached out my hand, to help him up – not that he needed it, though, it was more out of a kind gesture since he would have pulled me down as I tried to help him up.
He shook his head as he stood up. "I don't think its returnable," Johnny said and let me lead his towards my house.
I shivered during the short walk, so about halfway home Johnny threw his arm over my shoulder in attempt to keep me warm. "I still this it was bullshit when you told me 'it ain't cold.' How can you not be cold!"
Johnny looked down at me as we walked. "You get used to it after awhile. Kind of like water in a swimming pool."
"Pool water seems to get colder to me after awhile. That wasn't a very good analogy – leave those to me, okay?" It was probably the most random conversation to be talking about pools in the season of snow, but it wasn't the only conversation we had had like it. That one of the many things that confused me most about the kid.
We reached my house in record time, probably because I was cold, or many because Johnny really wanted my mom's apple pie. (On his defense, she did make the best apple pie on this side of town, but she never made it enough.)
Two steps up my porch steps, I stopped when I realized Johnny wasn't right behind me anymore but was still standing at the bottom on them. I rolled my eyes and walked back down to stand in front of him. (I should have stayed where I was, I would have had a better height to look at him.)
"The porch monster isn't going to gobble you up when you step on the first step," I told him. "It's the boogey man under my bed you really have to worry about."
He looked at me, and shook his head – again. I was beginning to wish that he would do something other than shake his head at me.
I was beginning to become frustrated with him and his shaking his head habit. "Then what is it?!" …I hadn't really meant to yell, but it came out that.
Johnny spoke softly. "I didn't get you a gift, Rosie." He said simply.
I stared at him in shock. "It's pie – that was made for my Gram, really. No big deal." I guess we really were friends.
Again, he shook his head. And, proceeded to clear his throat. "Rosalyn Marsh, I guess I'm your gift…" He told me.
I looked up at Johnny Cade, and wrapped my arms around him. "Merry Christmas."
Okay, so, maybe we might have been more than friends.