What is a Hero?
It was just in an ordinary day in Brookland Comprehensive. Or not so ordinary as Alex Rider was (for once) present. The boy in question was sitting in his new seat (the seating plan had changed whilst he had been absent). Mrs Collins, Alex's English teacher had placed Alex at the back of the classroom. Alex got it he wasn't there enough to be given a seat where she could help him. And when Alex was there he always seemed way ahead of the class anyway so he didn't really need the teacher's help anyway.
Harry knew that she like all the staff and all the students considered Alex to be a delinquent. The students were convinced that he was a drug dealer or a drug abuser. Alex just ignored the rumours about him knowing they weren't true. After Jack had died Alex had tried to adapt to a civilian life with the Pleasures in America. It didn't work. Alex missed his work and England too much. After just one summer Alex had come back to Brookland where MI6 had given him a place in the school and MI6.
But now he got paid for all missions under Blunt and all missions under Jones. Alex had great friends in MI6 and the SAS. Alex hadn't spoken to Sabina since the day he had left. Alex understood that the Pleasures hadn't wanted anything to do with the dark and dangerous world that had almost killed Sabina and Edward. Alex understood that being involved with spies was dangerous so he let them go. At the present Alex only had one friend who was a civilian. And that was Tom Harris. Alex may be the teenaged super spy but Tom was just weird.
There was no other word for Tom Harris. But Alex loved Tom's completely unique view on the world. Tom could make Alex laugh all the time, although, Alex had learned not to leave Tom and Eagle alone together. That was a recipe for disaster. Especially with sugar or energy drinks. Alex would think that Snake as the unit medic would know better than to leave the alone with those products. But apparently not Alex shuddered when he remembered walking into Snake's kitchen to see Tom and Eagle literally bouncing off the walls.
Let's just say that Snake lived to regret that, mainly because he had to buy a new kitchen, but also because Alex destroyed him again and again at hand-to-hand combat training. By the end of those two weeks Snake looked like he'd had black, blue and yellow paint tipped over him. The other four got their kicks out of Snake having the shit kicked out of him by a fifteen year old for two days until Alex had turned his skills on them. The other units at SAS camp preferred to stay well away from him. Not that Alex blamed them; he was completely ruthless.
Alex may live on his own – not that the teachers knew this thinking he lived with Ben – as was one of his conditions he had insisted on in his contract with Mrs Jones. Mrs Jones hadn't been happy with it at first but when reminded that if he could look after himself whilst on almost suicidal missions cooking and cleaning would be simple. Mrs Jones eventually saw reason (and Alex's newly acquired knife). Alex was damn scary when he wanted to be. Of course, most of that was just an act. Most of it!
Alex had bought a new house not far from Brookland. No matter the rumours which would be the same whichever school he went to (apparently he couldn't quite yet). Alex knew that the teachers there would feel a little bit of pity because of his uncle and although most of the students were unpleasant at least he had Tom. But he still spent a lot of time off school. It was December and now he had spent several weeks in September off and few weeks at the end of November and the start of December off.
The teachers hated that and had called Ben in several times. Ben just nodded and said that Alex was likely to spend more time off as he had a weak immune system. Mr Bray hadn't been happy about this but couldn't find anywhere that the man and boy were lying to him. Alex liked spending time with Ben and K Unit which was why he and Tom spent so much time at their various homes around London. Alex now loved his life. He still missed Jack a lot and he was glad that he didn't have to live in his old house with all the memories of Jack.
No he would not think of her now. She was dead that was all there was to it. He knew he was to blame no matter what anyone else told him and he feared the same would happen to Tom his one civilian friend he had left. But Tom refused to leave even when Alex had told him that if he stayed around Alex he would get killed because of who and what Alex was. Tom rather predictably didn't listen to a word Alex had said. Not that that was too unusual. Alex had accepted it after Ben had talked to him but he was still uneasy about his friendship with Tom.
Today in English Miss Collins the young, new, single, heart throb to most of the Brookland males had come in. She was wearing a floral violet dress that was completely unpractical considering the temperature outside and even less practical high heels. Her blonde her bobbed in its curls and had all the males Tom included. Tom was a few rows in front of Alex obviously focussing solely on Miss Collin. Alex rolled his eyes at his friend's behaviour and his teacher's obliviousness. She obviously was no spy.
'Today I would like you all to write an essay on what it means to be a hero. You can use well known figures of figures that are personal to you to write this essay. I would like it to be handed in by the end of class and be between one and two pages,' Miss Collins said.
Alex could have groaned. Anything but that! Alex had even seen Tom glance back at him. Alex knew Tom was under the impression that Alex was a hero because of everything he had done in the line of duty, and blackmail. Alex didn't think he was a hero at all, surely heroes didn't, wouldn't, murder. He had been told several times that taking lives in the line of duty wasn't murder. But Alex wasn't as convinced as other people. Alex looked around at his classmates that were already scribbling hurriedly away whilst Alex hadn't even started.
'Alex you know you can't write without your pen,' Miss Collins had said.
'I was thinking,' Alex replied.
Alex had heard the laughter at his classmates and the look of the pity that Tom had given him. Alex wasn't scared of the teachers after all they weren't holding guns or machetes. Heck Alex didn't even respect the teachers; they'd never seen, experienced or risked what Alex had. Alex didn't think he was a good man – boy – but he certainly was. What? Not a hero that was for certain. But then what? A spy and soldier he knew that. But why did he think he deserved more respect than others? He'd killed people but so had many murderers. He'd save lives; but more than that he had lost almost everything that he had so that others could survive.
Was it the sacrifice of his innocence, family, friends and humanity he wanted respected. Yes that was it. But although he had lost his innocence and instead of seeing the world in black and white like the rest of his peers naively saw the world he saw it more honestly in shades of grey. Wasn't that better? He got to see things as they really were. His family had known what they were risking and had given it up even Jack. And his friends; he had lost children as friends (but Tom) but that showed what kind of friends they were to turn his back on him because they didn't understand.
Tom hadn't even before Alex had told him the truth about himself in Venice. He'd accepted that something was going on even though he didn't know what. But he unlike the rest of Alex's so called friends hadn't turned his back on him. Then Alex had re-met Ben and they'd got on and worked brilliantly together so had become tight. Ben understood Alex more than anyone in the world. It had been Ben who had reintroduced Alex to K Unit. Wolf and Alex had made piece in Point Blanc. Eagle and Fox had reserved judgement and the newbie Jaguar had reserved judgement until he found that Alex was up to his standards.
And that was that. Alex picked up his pencil thinking of what he could write about heroes. But he didn't know what there was to write. How do you write about something you don't believe in? Heroes Alex didn't believe in anymore than he did in magic and destiny. There were heroic deeds and there were evil deeds and everything in between. But there were no such things as heroes that Alex was sure of. Alex frowned if he had been any other teenager he would have been chewing on his pencil. Alex started by looking up a dictionary for the definition of hero.
The definition of hero:
A man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.
A person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.
Alex started his essay easily enough wondering if Miss Collins would mind that he had used a dictionary definition in the essay. Alex hoped so but didn't not. Alex frowned at the fact that a hero could be based on abilities. But what abilities was it talking about? And courage that was easy but if you used your courage to kill people then you weren't a hero. As for noble risking your life for other was noble but it what if that "hero" went on and murdered someone else would that person still be counted as a hero?
There are no such things as heroes!
There are heroic deeds and there are evil deeds and everything in between. But a man who has once saved one persons life can then turn around and kill another person. Is this man a hero? Is this man a villain? Is he both? Is he neither? Or is it just deeds?
It is commonly thought that spies and soldiers are our countries heroes because they protect us from the evils of the world. But as Friedrich Nietzsche says "Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one". Isn't this what happens to military personnel all over the world? Oh yes they protect civilians but in the end they will become just as bad as those they fight. For example, at Guantanamo Bay American soldiers were willing to torture terror suspects to get the information they needed.
Can we say these me are heroes? No of course not they have tortured. Can we say that those who work in the Black ops who are employed assassins are heroes? They may save people but their methods are highly questionable. This is the same as spies everywhere. It is only the side that that so called good and bad people belong to that differs not the methods. Can we really use the excuse an ends to a means? Or does that make us as bad as the people we fight? What is a hero? I believe there is no such thing as heroes.
A hero is like magic and destiny exists only in the realm of storybooks, children and people who do not or cannot see in the real world, naïve people. There is no point in believing in things like heroes it only gets you hurt in the end. It is far better to see the world as it is. Because in the real world unlike the movies the good guys can die in horrific pain but the bad guys often walk away their plans having succeeded. Bad guys are not bald men in black suits stroking white cats like in cartoons. It is almost impossible to tell an assassin from a normal civilian. It is that what makes them so dangerous.
Alex placed his pen down having finished and realised that somewhere in his essay it had changed from an account to what heroes are not to a personal account of his experiences. Alex looked it over but realising that nobody could tell where his rather depressing thoughts had come from. Alex waited in silence until he had to hand Miss Collins the essay at the end of the lesson. Alex knew that his essay like everything else about him was likely to be a world away from everything else about him.