DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these HP characters or settings, or any of the words/definitions mentioned in the following story.
oneirataxia: the inability to differentiate between dreams and reality.
It is a well-known fact that Remus Lupin is not a fan of Public Displays of Affection.
Truthfully, he doesn't mind when others kiss and cuddle and hold hands in public (though he does often feel like he is intruding on their private moments). He just doesn't do it himself.
Remus is a naturally private person and he does not like letting people into his personal haven – his personal haven being his relationship with his fiancé, Sirius Black. He does not like people putting their noses into his private affairs, like it is any of their business, and he does not like people seeing the parts of him that only Sirius should see. His love is between him and his fiancé, and no one else.
(Occasionally, he will hold Sirius's hand in public, but only around their friends and only if he feels that it is absolutely 100% necessary – like if it is cold and Sirius has forgotten his gloves, or if there is a particularly heart-wrenching scene happening in front of them.)
That said, Remus Lupin has no objections to Private Displays of Affection (private meaning: behind closed doors). In fact, he rather loves Private Displays because they are real and just between them; for him and Sirius alone. Truth be known, he is actually quite affectionate. He enjoys cuddles on the couch and morning kisses whilst Sirius makes breakfast. He enjoys spooning at night and sharing food when they order in. And he enjoys romantic evenings and holding hands across the kitchen table for no reason whatsoever. He enjoys showing his love for Sirius – just not in the public eye.
More than anything, though, Remus loves the quiet moments after making love; when he and Sirius are lying in bed, snuggling up together after their amorous activities, coming down from their joined high, sweating and satisfied and utterly content. Everything is so peaceful and quiet, and it is relaxing; as if they are the only two people left on Earth.
In those moments, everything feels surreal (perhaps because it feels so real) and Remus feels alive.
"What are you thinking about?" Sirius asks sleepily, breaking the comfortable silence of their bedroom, his elegant fingers running through Remus's (probably sweaty) hair.
Remus doesn't answer. He just lays still, his head rested on Sirius's broad chest and his hand splayed across the other man's hip possessively. Their legs are tangled, the white bedsheets are barely covering them, and they are a sweaty, sticky mess. But he is happy and comfortable, and he doesn't want to talk or move. So, instead of answering, he burrows further into Sirius's side and starts rubbing soothing circles onto Sirius's hip with his thumb.
"Re?"
Sirius actually wants an answer, Remus realises. So he replies, "Hm? Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking about this. This moment."
Sirius hums, his long fingers still twirling around in Remus's hair. "What about this moment?"
Remus shrugs weakly and admits, "Just... that I like these moments."
"I like these moments too," Sirius replies, his voice suggestive despite the fatigue there.
Remus huffs a laugh. "No, I mean... These moments; the moments after."
Remus can't see Sirius but he can tell that the other man is frowning when he asks, "Why?"
"Because..." Remus hesitates, but he decides to power on because he loves these moments between him and Sirius and he wants his fiancé to know that. "Because everything is so... peaceful. And real. And I just... It reminds me of why I love you so much."
For a long moment, nothing is said.
And Remus understands why. After all, it is not often that he says those words. Most of the time, he prefers to show his love through actions rather than words. It is not as if he never says 'I love you' but it is rare enough that the words still hold immense meaning whenever he says them.
And then Sirius says, quietly, sincerely, "I love you, too."
Remus just smiles and closes his eyes, placing a lazy kiss on Sirius's chest. In response, Sirius places a soft kiss on his temple and, with nothing more to say, they both drift off into a peaceful slumber.
In those moments, after their amorous deeds, when they are coming down from their orgasms, when they are snuggling up in bed together, sweaty and sated and blissed out, everything feels surreal and Remus feels alive. And he knows that Sirius feels the same way.
A/N: Short but sweet. Thanks for reading!
Written: January, 2019
Edited: January, 2019