StarTricked by htbthomas
Summary:
When Penny meets Wil again, she's completely charmed. Can she prove to Sheldon that Wil is not as evil as Sheldon claims? Or is Sheldon right?
Notes:
For Big Bang Big Bang 2010. If you're looking for finely-crafted prose and deep character exploration... you aren't going to find it here. ;) This is a totally fluffy, silly lark, 15K-worth. Thanks so much to my betas, allthingsholy and you_speak_lies, who helped me tighten this up. And I would never have finished without my writing buddies (fictionalknight, dragonbat2006, athenesolon and ishie) pushing me along.
~o~o~o~
"But we can't!" Penny whispered urgently, tugging on Sheldon's sleeve. Explosions sounded all around them, and she flinched back behind the kitchen island. "We're running out of time. We have to get out of here!"
"That is exactly why we must," Sheldon said, looking down, refusing to move. "What if this is the end of the world? What if we never see each other again?"
"It certainly will be the end of the world if you don't move!" She took his hand and pulled him forward, toward the door.
The papers flew out of his hand and he crashed into her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Penny!" he protested. "We just–!"
Penny gave him an annoyed look, then her face suddenly softened and she stared into his eyes. "Captain..." Her eyes closed as their lips drew closer together.
Then Penny broke away, bursting into laughter. "I can't practice this scene with you, Sheldon! I just can't take you seriously."
"I agree," he huffed, and then bent to pick up the scattered script pages from the floor. "I don't know why you insisted I read the Captain's part."
"It would be a lot easier if you didn't break character all the time," she shouted over the sound effects just before shutting them off. She continued in a more normal tone, "'Penny'? You couldn't just follow the stage directions?" She flopped onto her couch with a sigh. "Besides, Leonard's at the lab, and I don't want Raj to practice with me smashed. You remember the cat food commercial?" They both shuddered. "Who else do I have?"
Howard burst through the door, script in hand, exclaiming in a loud voice, "Captain! Lieutenant! The shields are collapsing! We must esc–" He noticed Penny sitting on the couch and Sheldon tidying up. "Did I miss the cue again?"
"Yes," Penny and Sheldon said in unison.
"Crap. Sorry." Howard came to sit in the chair beside the couch. "I don't know why I have to play the red-shirt part anyway." He leaned toward her and suggested, eyebrows waggling, "I'd be much better as the captain."
She turned back to Sheldon. "You see what I'm saying?"
~o~o~o~
She never even got to audition in front of the casting directors for the part of the lieutenant. She tried to console herself with the fact they probably wanted a big-name actress for this pilot, or even a small-name actress. Penny London was just a no-name waitress, who liked to drown her failures in a cappuccino at the bookstore down the street after the lunch shift.
She had only taken a few steps into the bookstore when she stopped in her tracks. At 2:30 on a Thursday, the line for the Starbucks was never that long. She suddenly noticed the elevated noise level in the store, and the sign beside the door advertising a book signing.
Curious, Penny wandered over. She might as well; surely the coffee line would get shorter sooner or later. She glanced at the sign advertising the author. She didn't recognize the book cover, but the author's name, Wil Wheaton, had this caption: "Former star of Star Trek: The Next Generation."
The name seemed really familiar. Lord knew she'd sat through enough episodes of every single Star Trek series while she was dating Leonard, even 'that abominable prequel,' as Sheldon called it, even though it was the one she actually liked the best. But it was more than just seeing him on television.
It was, she realized with a start, the guy from the bowling alley! The guy who'd told her about his ex-girlfriend, which helped her realize that she couldn't lead Leonard on any longer.
Wil Wheaton: the guy Sheldon hated more than Barry Kripke, more than Leslie Winkle. Granted, Sheldon flat out disregarded most of the people he met, even outright disliked them. But Sheldon hated Wil more than anybody in the whole world.
Most of her memories of that night were colored by her breakup with Leonard. Sure, Wil had seemed competitive, but no more than Sheldon usually was about, well, everything. She was a little more than curious to see what was so awful about Sheldon's 'nemesis.'
Maybe she should get a copy of the book and have it signed and give it to Howard or Raj. She grinned wickedly. Maybe she could give it as a gag gift for Sheldon. Nah, he'd probably give her a strike just for tricking him into touching it.
She took another glance at the Starbucks line, hoping it had gotten shorter but it actually seemed to be longer. People must have had the same idea – get the book signed, go get a coffee. Penny shrugged and got in line for the book signing. She could figure out later who she would give it to.
As she got closer to the beginning of the line, she kept trying to get a better look at Wil from around the guy waiting in front of her, who had to be half-giant. It wasn't until she was five people away that she finally got close enough to watch him interact with people. He was pleasant, making small talk with each person who gave him a book to sign. He had a nice smile and a sparkle of real intelligence in his eyes. This was the big, bad, evil Wil Wheaton?
Before she knew it, it was her turn. She stepped up to the table, and picked up a copy of the book off of the stack beside Wil. "Can I buy one here to be signed?"
He said with a slight smile, "That's why they're here." Then he seemed to really notice her for the first time. He tilted his head slightly, puzzled. "I know you, right?"
He'd realized it immediately. She tried not to be embarrassed. "Yeah, Penny. We met at the bowling alley, like, six months ago?"
"That's right – you were on the other team, the 'Wesley Crushers.' For a while, anyway." His smile grew wider. "Are you a fan of my work?"
She quirked one corner of her mouth. "Actually, I'm getting this for someone else."
"A boyfriend?" He pulled the book toward him, opening the cover.
"Oh, God, no," she said a little louder than intended.
He laughed. "All right. What do you want it to say, for this someone-else-who-isn't-a-boyfriend?"
"How about..." She didn't know who it would go to in the end. "'All my best' or something like that."
He began to write, and then paused before signing his name. "You don't want me to address it to anyone?"
"Um." She bit her lip and leaned in conspiratorially. "Can I tell you a secret?"
He scooted forward, grinning. "Absolutely."
"I have no idea who I'm going to give this to," she admitted in a whisper.
He whispered back, "Then why are you getting it signed?"
"Well, when you're friends with a bunch of science fiction geeks..." She added apologetically, "No offense."
He grinned and winked knowingly.
"I find it's best to get this stuff when you can." She tapped on the opened page for emphasis and moved back a step.
He laughed. "All right, all right. One 'All my best, Wil,' just like you asked." He finished signing his name with a flourish, and then closed and handed her the book.
"Thanks."
She hesitated for a moment, not sure why she wasn't moving on. Maybe it was because Wil was just so nice! Sheldon was absolutely crazy, as if she needed any more proof.
Wil tilted his head slightly. "What's wrong?" he asked.
She suppressed a jump, covering quickly by sighing at the length of the Starbucks line, which had grown even longer. "Oh, nothing. I guess there's no cappuccino in my future." She gave him a shrug and a wave, starting to walk toward the exit.
"Wait!" he called, and she turned back. "I need a break. You want coffee?" He spread his hands and smiled. "I've got connections."
~o~o~o~
Wil certainly did have connections. They cut right to the front of the line, and no one even complained. A friendly wave to the other customers was all it took. Penny was secretly impressed. Maybe one day people would let her in front of them. Right now she had to fight to be noticed by her regulars on Taste of Italy Night.
Wil set down his three shot full cream vanilla latte and threaded his fingers together. "How did you ever end up being friends with a bunch of sci-fi geeks? Do you work at CalTech, or go to school there?"
She took a sip. "Me? Oh, no. I waitress at the Cheesecake Factory a couple doors down." She gestured at her yellow uniform. "Or did you think this was some sort of fashion statement?"
He held up his hands in mock-apology. "Forgive?"
"Buy me a cappuccino? I'll forgive anything."
"I should have known. You're too young – unless you're some kind of child prodigy. I've never met a genius who seemed this normal, though." He winked at her. "I tend to run into the ones like Sheldon."
She laughed. Wil really was charming, despite his geek background. He certainly didn't seem evil, but that was Sheldon for you, always overreacting to everything. Plus, Wil was in the business. Who knew what connections she could make? If she got to know him, she might even get a lead on a few acting jobs.
"Anyway. The guys work there, Leonard and Sheldon are my neighbors. The closest I get to working for CalTech is as Sheldon's personal taxi service." She set down her mug with a click against its saucer. "And the pay sucks."
He laughed.
"The other two guys, Raj and Howard, are over all the time. We spend a lot of time together, the five of us. Just yesterday, we were watching a DVD that Raj brought over." Before she knew it, she was off on a story about the argument Sheldon and Howard had over the realism of giant sentient robots, and he didn't interrupt her once. He was a great listener.
"You know what, Wil? You're really nice."
He grinned. "I try to be. I think that's the way to approach life."
"Huh." She shook her head gently, and teased, "To hear Sheldon tell it, it's your highest goal to make his life hell."
"He says that?" He looked truly puzzled, which didn't surprise Penny. The rivalry between the two of them was probably completely one-sided. Wil added, "I'm surprised you had a coffee with me."
She winked. "I made sure to test it for poison first."
"Good call." He chuckled, then glanced at his watch. "I'd better get back before they stage a book burning." He rose from the table, and placed his hand on hers. "This was fun. I'd love to take you out sometime. Tonight, if you're free?"
A tiny thrill went through her. This had started out as a friendly cup of coffee, and now he was asking her out. She could bring up the acting career at dinner, if the time was right. "Sure. I'd like that, too."
She slipped her hand from beneath his and fished a pen out of her handbag. After scribbling her phone number on one of the napkins, she slid it toward him. Instead of taking it, though, he pulled a Droid from his pocket and entered the number with a few taps. "Talk to you soon, Penny."
"Later." She waved, and watched him walk back to the signing table. She could feel the jealous stares of the people around her. It felt good.
~o~o~o~
"I bet you'd really like Power Girl if you gave it a try, Penny," Wil was saying as they climbed the stairs to her apartment. "It's got a lot of humor mixed with the action. Peej is fun-loving and independent – she kind of reminds me of you, actually."
"Really?" She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. It was because she'd made a crack at Power Girl's costume that they were discussing it at all.
"Not because of her looks, I promise." He eyed her up and down before adding, "Though you're every bit as much of a knock out."
She would have given Howard a death glare for that remark – it was Howard who drooled over his copy of Power Girl every month – but coming from Wil it seemed sweetly flattering. So instead, she grinned and said, "Thanks."
They ascended the last few steps and were at her door. "This is me," she announced.
"Already?" He sounded disappointed. "I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye."
"Well," she started, with a lowering of her lashes. "You could come in for coffee." She was pretty sure he would understand what that meant, even though he was one of Stuart's friends.
"As much as I'd like coffee, I can't."
"Oh." She grimaced inwardly – she knew it was too early to bring up acting when she mentioned it over dessert. She covered her disappointment by digging for her keys. "You probably aren't ready–"
He put a finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to his. "I am. Almost. You know, like I said, it's the first time I've really gotten out there again after my wife and I split up." He looked down at the ground for a moment.
She really liked this guy. He was sweet and funny, not to mention connected. But did she really want to be the rebound girl? She'd done that way too many times herself, most recently after things with Leonard ended. "I totally understand." She patted his hand. "Thanks for a nice night."
She turned to open her door, but he stopped her. "Can I," he pulled her toward him and gently covered her lips with his in a tender kiss, "take a raincheck?" he said as he pulled away.
She found herself unable to speak for a moment. Finally, she managed, "For the coffee?"
He nodded a farewell and went down the stairs, her eyes following him.
She didn't hear the sound of the door opening to her right, or the footsteps that came to a halt soon after. She was too lost in her thoughts of what might happen next.
"Wow."
"I hardly think that my presence in the hallway is worth astonishment. You, of all people, should know that my final load of laundry finishes at promptly 9:53pm."
Her mouth quirked upward and she turned toward Sheldon, who was carrying an empty laundry basket. She didn't bother explaining her earlier remark to him. "Oh, believe me, I know." She finished getting her keys out, and unlocked her door.
"Were you out on a date?" he asked politely.
"Yes. In fact, you'll never guess who–"
He cut her off. "Actually, I didn't really budget small talk into my schedule. I was just–"
"Being polite, I know."
He made a noise of disgust. "If you knew, then why did you insist on trying to tell me? It seems like a waste of time for both of us." He took a step down the stairs. "I must go retrieve my shirts from the dryer." He gave her a short glare. "I hope you're pleased that I might I have to use a higher setting on my iron tomorrow morning."
"It's the highlight of my day," she deadpanned.
He scoffed. "You really need a life, Penny." He turned abruptly and trotted down the stairs.
Penny shook her head, and said under her breath, "Bazinga."