Hey guys! This is my first entry for Whumptober! Teeeeeechnically it was supposed to be under 1000 words, but... eh. That was just to avoid people overworking themselves, so it's fine, right? Yeahhhh
Okay, so this fanfic fought tooth and nail with me to first, not be written, then, to be written, so this has been a painful ride. If I'm gonna be honest, this really hurt to write, so I hope this will impact you guys too. (:
Alrighty, warnings contain spoilers so if you aren't worried, just scroll down to the horizontal line.
Warnings: implied character death
"You can't honestly be doing this Pidge." The words were harsh, but the underlying concern was evident.
Pidge let out a huff at her brother's words. "Yes, I am. We all are." She glanced away, unwilling to see the fear in his eyes. "We have to. "
Matt, however, was having none of it. "Look at me, this is suicide Pidge. There's no coming back from this!" His words were rushed and panicked, desperate for her to understand.
Pidge had to swallow down the guilt that his words brought to her. If anyone else brought that tone into her typically light-hearted brother's voice, she would have kicked the quiznak out of them. Now, it was her though, and she wasn't going to back down either. "You think I don't know that? I'm extremely aware that every time we go on a mission we might not all return. That's how it always is. That's how it is every time you go on a mission too. It's just..." She let out a breath, physically caving, " just a part of the job. "
Matt hated the defeat in Pidge's tone. His sister was always too stubborn for her own good, never giving in and never giving up. The fact that she was doing both right now sent another wave of fear through him. "Well, it shouldn't be! You're a 15 year old girl, Pidge! You should be home worrying about prom and homework and what you want to do with your life. You shouldn't be out in space fighting evil alien races and trying to stop planets from blowing up." Okay, Matt knew he sounded a little whiny, but it was true. Pidge had completely missed out on the normal childhood activities. It wasn't fair.
Pidge just gave him a revolted look, though. Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Oh, sorry Matt. I'll just be sure to quit my role as paladin so I can go home and think about what dress I want to wear to prom."
Matt ran a hand over his face. "You know what I mean! This isn't your responsibility! For once, just let somebody else do it." His voice took on a pleading tone, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "...I can't lose you." His voice broke on the last word and he stared at her, begging her to realise how true that was.
Some of the bite left her voice at this, but the fire remained in her eyes. "Trust me. I know how hard this is. I know how hard it is to send your sibling off into space without knowing if they're going to return and it sucks, okay? But it's what needs to be done. I let you and Dad go. Now you need to let me go." She squared her shoulders, knowing that that had been a low card to play, but she held her ground anyway. She had known this wasn't going to be a pretty talk.
And she was right. It seemed Matt's entire body was ready to explode. "That's different, Pidge! You didn't send us off to space thinking that we were going to die. It was just a space exploration project!" He glared back at her. "And we both know that you didn't accept anything, you just couldn't stop it." Okay, so another low blow, but he couldn't help it. Too much was riding on this fight.
Pidge threw her arms up in frustration, her voice raising to rival her brother's. "Well then don't accept it, but you can't stop it either. I don't want to do this, but I have to. If we don't go, everybody on that planet is going to die. Five lives for the price of billions is nothing! You know, I can't believe how selfish you're being about this." Her voice was laced with disgust.
Matt's gaze darted around the room, incredulous. "Selfish? I'm just trying to save you! Please, just for once in your life, let me protect you."
Pidge huffed. "It's a little late for that, Matt. We're at war. And I'm a key player. So if this is my duty then this is what I'm going to do, okay? I am not going to fail my team." Her words were spat and she briefly hoped Matt knew this was all a cover up of her fear, but she knew that there was no way she'd convince him to let her go if he knew that.
Matt glared back at her, putting his arms up to block the doorway. "Well I'm not going to let you go." The anger had disappeared and was replaced with pure determination.
Pidge knew her brother's challenge face like the back of her hand, but she had never seen him look this fierce. It didn't matter though. The outcome was still the same. Crossing her arms, she responded, "You think you can stop me?"
"You think I could live with myself if I didn't try?" His words were clipped, but honesty rang through them.
Pidge let out a breath. Gosh, this hurt. "Matt-"
He shook his head. "No Pidge. I'm not gonna let you do this."
Hating that it had come to this, Pidge painfully pulled out her bayard. She fought to keep her hand from quivering. "Yes, you will."
Matt didn't even glance at the weapon, his eyes staring through her own. "You would never hurt me." There was no fear in that statement, no attempt to convince her of something. It was just a statement, one that he had no doubt in.
His confidence made it even harder for Pidge keep herself from shaking. She licked her lips, finding her mouth suddenly dry. "Not more than I need to. But right now, you're not giving me much choice."
Matt didn't break from her stare, his eyes narrowing in dubiety. "What about Dad? What about Mom?" He knew he was running out of power cards, but he didn't know what else to do at this point.
Pidge knew what he was trying to do, though, and she refused to play along. Gritting her teeth, she spat. "Mom already thinks I'm dead."
"And when she founds out you weren't?"
Pidge held her her head higher. "She'll be proud that I died a noble death." Wanting to get off the subject, she quickly took a step forward. "Now move. I have to go."
Matt just pushed her back through. "I'm not moving."
"Then, I'm sorry." Pidge activated her bayard by her side and brought it up.
"Pidge..."
Pidge couldn't deny the shaking of her hand now, and she felt her eyes fill with tears. "I'm sorry Matt. I really didn't want our last goodbye to end like this, but I guess I should have known it would." The first tears leaked from her eye, as she set her bayard to stun and jabbed her brother in the stomach. She closed her eyes at the cry of pain it ripped from him. "You've always been the best older brother I could have asked for." Her voice was shaking and tears were streaming down her face now, but she knew she had to say this.
Matt groaned, trying to stand, but barely managed to push his torso up. He shook his head, denial filling his strained voice. "No..."
Pidge bent down and wrapped her arms around him, continuing as if Matt hadn't said anything. "So just... keep being awesome, okay? Take care of Mom and Dad for me."
"Please..."
Matt's voice was getting more desperate, but Pidge knew if she stopped now, she would completely break down. "And Bae Bae too. Remember, no more than five treats a day, no matter how much he begs." She pulled back, trying to crack a smile, but her quivering lips ruined the attempt.
"Pidge..."
Pidge pushed herself up, quickly wiping at her face. She tried to keep her voice chipper, ignoring her wavering tone. "And we never know! Maybe this is all unnecessary and I'll be back in just a few vargas." Her face began to collapse and she quickly turned to face the door.
Matt's heart stopped, his breathing turning ragged. "Wait!"
Pidge glanced back with a sad smile. "No Matt, it's time for me to go, but I'll see you later, okay?" She turned away and went to leave.
No, no, no. If Pidge left this room, he would never see her again. He would lose his baby sister.
"KATIE!" The yell sounded like it came from his deepest core, vulnerable and desperate. Pidge couldn't ignore it, despite knowing it would be easier if she did. Her eyes met Matt's shimmering ones. "Please, you're my baby sister. I'd do anything for you, just please, do this one thing
for me." His shoulders heaved as tears fell to the ground.
Pidge couldn't deny hearing his last request, so she listened in silence as her brother tried to collect himself. It looked physically painful to try to speak and when he did it was just one anguished plea. "Stay."
Matt stared up at his little sister, begging her.
Pidge's eyes were swollen from crying as she stared back. She had never been able to refuse him when he asked her for something vulnerably.
She had never seen him more vulnerable than he was now.
Swallowing a sob, she squeezed eyes tight. "I'm sorry Matt." She turned towards the door, stopping with her hand on the handle. "...I love you."
Before Matt could respond, Pidge had left, leaving her broken brother on the floor, unable to do anything but sob. He hadn't even been able to tell her that he loved her too. She was gone, just like that.
A few vargas later, Matt was able to move again and wasted no time rushing to the control room. Coran was standing there, his posture more defeated than Matt had ever seen it.
At the sound of his running, Coran turned around. Their eyes met and, after a moment of complete silence, Coran slowly shook his head. Matt's heart fell.
He was too late.
Hey!
So, if I did this correctly, I hope you're hurting right now (in the least sadistic way possible). (;
Okie, but I really adore scenes of writing when there's no winning and each character is desperate to get the other to agree with them. Honestly, I want to act out this scene. That being said, it's kinda draining, so while there will probably be more high-stakes fights like this, they'll probably be sporatic.
Anyways, that's all for this fic! The prompt was "Stay.", which was fun to play around with! Don't worry, more Pidge angst will be coming with Fragmentation and future fics!
Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings if you'd like to review!
Remember, y'all are amazing and loved!
-Sakarrie (: