Title: A Way to Arda
Author: Peamaps
Sep 17, 2013
Summary: Elladan will do anything he can to save the love of his life, even if the one he loves doesn't know or even share his feelings.
Rated: G to NC-17, haven't decided yet
Genre: Romance, Slash, AU, Angst, Drama
Caracters: Elladan/Surprise Male Caracter, Arwen, Aragorn, Legolas, Celeborn, Galadriel, Elrohir, Surprise super evil caracter
Disclaimer: Although they live inside my head, these elves don't belong to me which is really unfortunate. They belong to the brillian and unique Sir J.R.
The three of them continue to gaze upon the only land they knew of. Full of dreams, grief but it also had been there they found reasons to give up everything just to save it. Arda was further and further away as the ship they built themselves took them across the sea.
When Arda finally disappeared on the horizon, Elladan passed his arm over his twin Elrohir's shoulder. The younger twin wept silently and the older brother dried his tears away with the back of his hand. Celeborn seemed to be the more affected of the three of them as only after a long while he came back from the edge of the ship to join his grandsons. The older elf embraced his beloved 'sons' - as he liked to call them - but his face showed nor grief or other emotion. Maybe because his older grandson watched him with a worried look, maybe because he's been prepared for this journey for thousands of years or maybe yet because he yarned to be reunited with his wife Galadriel, after a long time apart.
As the days went by Elladan would gaze upon Arda's direction with a longing look on his face:
"She made her choice Elladan," - Elrohir sat beside him. "She's with Estel now. Arwen could not live without him."
Elladan agreed silently. Elrohir mistook his longings but he would always mourn Arwen's parting. She had been selfish, he thought in the beginning when she shared her decision with her family - already so weary after much tragedy, but that was before he fell in love. Or rather before he knew he was in love.
His love was without hope: the one he yarned for loved Arwen. He tried at first to fight it, then to forget only to realize that his heart ceased to belong to his own master long ago. Maybe he loved him all his life, since he first lay his eyes upon the one he longed for.
"It's not going to be easy to tell Ada and Nanneth about how it happened." Elrohir's voice, so close now shook Elladan out of his musings, he had moved closer now. He consented silently, allowing the elf warrior to continue to think he guessed Elladan's thoughts.
"Our Mother will suffer greatly, our arrival will be the assurance that the worst finally came to pass." Elladan started. "But Father lost his twin to the same reason. I've seen it brother, he never got over it."
"I don't know how I will move on from this." Elrohir's voice shook and Elladan was cuddling him already, pulling the younger elf's head over his shoulder. He felt the elf warrior's body shake as he cried again, and couldn't hold his own tears, broken apart to see him like that. He wondered if Elrohir thought Arwen to be selfish as he once did or if he came to accept it, but he would only talk about all this one day, in a far away future when the loss of their dear little sister became more bearable. Elrohir fell apart after Legolas took Arwen to Lothlórien, already fading because of Aragorn's death.
Aragorn… He could hardly believe how little Estel's life was short lived. He, Elrohir and Arwen had made the most of their time with the mortal boy that came to Imladris as a fatherless soul to become then an orphan. He captivated the hearts of all there as a little boy, so brave, full of life and yet mourning after losing so much. He'd wake up the household with his cries in the middle of the night, and all of them: his father, Glorfindel, Erestor, his twin, his mother were right away to comfort the human child.
He then grew to be a leader. His name emerged with the confidence and pureness of heart that defined Aragorn so well. And then he met Arwen…
It was love at first sight they said. The tale of Lúthien that lured him to sleep for so long and made he dream became a curse when he saw history repeat itself with his beloved sister. Not for a moment he hated Aragorn or even resented him, but for a long time he seeked for ways to fix this. He couldn't bear loose his sister too, as he passed all Estel's years half mourning he would pass to ashes one day.
Too fast time passed. He saw beautitul Arwen flourish to life bearing three children. He watched his beloved nephew Eldarion grow and became the wise man his father was before him. Everytime duties allowed them Elladan and Elrohir were in Gondor. Arwen even picked and decorated a room specially for each of the. Sometimes the twins actually lived in the White City for straight two years at a time, wanting to make the most of their brothers' life.
He would never forget Estel, he loved that mortal child as much as he loved Arwen.
Elrohir seemed exhausted and he helped his twin to his bed, and sit beside it for a while watching the younger brother fall asleep immediately, the grief taking a toll on him.
The journey continued silently. They took turns to go up and watch the sea and if everything was in order as much to sleep, there was only one bed anyway. When it was time to eat they ate together, also in silence, each prisoner of their own thoughts. Elladan studied his grandfather but Celeborn never let any feeling he might be having show on his face. As the leader of his people he was used to this but he wished with his family he would open up. Elladan was sure that trip wasn't easy on any elf, and then he wondered if Celeborn could also be like this for their benefit, being strong for them specially with Elrohir crumbling since Arwen left the White City.
He didn't dare to think about Eldarion and his nieces. They surely could take care of themselves being confident and strong adults, but he saw in their eyes when the time came for their uncles and mother to leave. He would grieve for them later, someday. He would miss them always either.
So much loss… It seems they come with the gain. Arda was free to begin again. It was not the time for Elves but for Men. It was worthed, all of it. He'd do all over again. But the losses...those would haunt him forever.
They say the blessing of the Grey Havens come with a price. Many days later Elladan woke from a chair in time to see Elrohir jump from the bed at their grandfather's cries. They fled the stairs to meet the older elf who seemed a little distressed.
"There's a storm coming. It was not there just a minute ago, and now it's all around us."
"What should we do?" Elrohir asked, he knew nothing of ships.
"I don't think there's much to be done. All is set as better as it could be done and the ship was made in a way it would take us it self to the Havens. Now with this storm we can only hope we constructed it strongly well and that the Valar shield us."
They all went downstairs after checking if everything was in order to make sure and the worst begun. Wave upon wave, high as it would swallow them would hit the ship and Elrohir panicked. "I think I'm hearing crack noises!"
"No, it can be." Celeborn assured him, squeezing his shoulder gently. "We put much effort on its construction, and made it the way it has been done before, for thousands of years. Glorfindel came in a ship much similar to this. He too went through a storm or faced an angry sea."
"He described as what it looked like a hurricane Grandfather." Elladan raised his voice as the noise outside became louder and louder.
"It must had been worst for him, at least we are together." Celeborn reminded them. "He was brave to come alone."
"That must had been nothing compared to slaying a Balrog!" Elrohir grinned for a moment. The sight sent a thrill to Elladan's body. Elrohir's state had been worrying Elladan to death.
Suddenly the ship turned so they all went crushing against the wall. Elladan got up fast and unsteadily reached for his grandfather, checking if he was okay. Then he helped his twin to his feet.
"What was that?" He cried.
"All will soon pass." Celeborn guaranteed holding the side of his head where it had hit the wall.
Finally the weather changed and when they got out to look upon the sky all was clear and in a blue color they never saw before. They were mesmerized with the heavens that they didn't yet noticed what lay right ahead of them, visible, but still far.
"Elbereth, look!" Elrohir cried.
Still a distance away a green land spread around an island. Tears filled three pairs of blue-grayish eyes and they embraced each other, laughing.
"There's much to overcome yet, but at least we have a chance to be happy again." Celeborn kissed each top of the raven heads of the ones he loved. He finally allowed the tears to fall freely and Elladan got a glimpse of his grandfather without his mask of control and he held the elder elf. He must had been stronger for his grandsons, and he lost count on how many times he was grateful for what he did.
The ship seemed to not move because the end of the journey was at its slowest point now. Finally they saw tiny figures awaiting for them on the shore. Elladan's heart beat furiously inside his chest as his big eyes seeked for his mother, his father and grandmother. He saw Erestor first and he waved happily, almost jumping like when he was an elfling and was on some of his classes. Erestor's smile widened and he waved back, showing he saw it. When he finally saw her, a blonde, gorgeous and almost ethereal-like being he felt his legs give in and he held himself up with difficulty.
"Mother!" It was his turn to cry out loud. He waved at her. Celebrian looked like Galadriel, she wore a white gown that seemed to have a light of its own. Her hands covered all but her eyes as she cried without control. Elrond was too busy trying to comfort her and he was crying too.
The twins didn't wait the ship to come to a full stop and were flying down the ship, with Celeborn, Celebrian and many others yelling at them to calm down.
They ran with all that they had towards their mother and there was no one there that didn't weep at the moving scene. Elladan and Elrohir held their mother and the three of them wept as so many emotions rushed through their bodies. Happiness and grief mixed together and powerful enough to shake their bodies.
"My boys…." Celebrian let out a strangled whisper.
"Mother..." They replied. And knew she also grieved for Arwen. Silently Elladan reached between them seeking for his mother's delicate hands and lay the Evenstar on her hands. She didn't had to look at it to know what it was. A strangled sound of pure pain could not be held by her, even though she visibly tried and her legs buckled and the twins held her up. The sons and her husband helped her to the carriage waiting for them. Elladan and Elrohir let her sit with their father and they were worried as she seemed to pass out. They sat in front of their parents, exchanging looks with his father. Elrohir patted Elrond's knees, trying to comfort him when he too saw the pendant. Elrond's face contorted in grief and he lowered his head, kissing the treasure in his hands.
Elladan offered his shoulder and Elrohir lay his head there.
The trip home - a new one - was quiet.
It seemed his father had chosen to live near the sea for they reached their homes soon. Elladan looked outside the window while Elrohir could care less. He was forceful but gently to bring his brother out of the carriage, then asked his father to let him help his mother. Elrond agreed and guided Elrohir inside the stunning, beautiful home. Celebrian clung to her oldest son. The crying subsided but she still seemed weary.
Elladan put his arm around her waist and for a moment felt satisfaction at how much she changed. The last time he held her like that to take her anywhere in the house in Imladris she was much thinner, her life hanging by a thread.
The house was big, the architecture much like Imladris. He took a moment to look around after he helped his nanneth to sit on the sofa.
"We decided to live in here, but once you know more you can choose wherever you want." Elrond said, finally composed. He was going to lay the Evenstar in the middle table but Celebrian asked for it.
"Not even Erestor or Glorfindel live with us anymore." Elrond continued. "In here I decided I'm no Lord, just a regular Elf. They are still very loyal to our House but they found other works and just come here as friends."
"We don't have guards anymore then?" - Elladan asked.
"There are no dangers here in Valinor." - Elrond forced a very weird smile.
"It's okay ada. We are all grieving." - Elladan said in a low voice.
Elrond sighed. "I don't know how I'll live without my Arwen." -He whispered. "When I told your mother she was inconsolable. She even wanted a way to go back there. She's completely healed now and wanted to say good-bye."
"It wasn't beautiful Ada and don't ask of me to tell this tale just yet. One day when you and nanneth are ready… I'll fill the blanks on the rest of Arwen's journey... but not now. And please don't mention it in front of Elrohir, he is taking all this much harder than I am."
"You always been the stronger one, Elladan." - Elrond clasped his hand, a proud look on his gigantic eyes. "You are the pillar of this home."
"I don't know, maybe it's just because he's in such a state. I'm grieving pretty bad."
"No, you have a strenght that rivals of Elro's. Me too have always been the softer twin, the more sensitive."
"That is what I was worried about ada, I didn't want to mention but you lost family before, a twin at that."
"Yes, there is not one day that goes by without me remembering of Elros. But one day only the good memories remains my dear. In the future, when you finally heal you will remember of all the good times with Arwen and just feel grateful she was in your life, and everytime you remember about your long gone sister, you will always smile."
"I hope so, for Elrohir's sake. He and Arwen were so close..."
"He will heal. As will your mother. I reacted - I must say - in a worst manner than your younger twin. I just fell apart and for two weeks I just lay down without not even taking a bath."
"By the Valar, Ada!"
"Yes, but then I realized that I was being a burden. And that I had locked myself in my own grief, without comforting anyone else that were suffering all the same, Elros left a father, a mother… That's the only way I could get up and not fade myself, we gain strenght when we have to live for others. That's how you will help Elrohir heal. See?" Elrond raised his hands indicating the room all around them. "Elrohir is gone already to his bedroom. Speaking of it he doesn't even know where it is so we must assume he seeked for any and is now laying down with no plans of evern getting up. Let him grieve for a day or two, but them bring him back to life by gently making him also take care of you, show that you need him."
Elladan sighed, it was the last thing he wanted from his brother but he knew his father was wise. He was just too used to take all of Elrohir's pain and trouble to himself and save him of any heartache. He nodded and Elrond guided him to his room. Coincidentally that's where Elrohir lay, face down. He already slept deeply and didn't bothered to move even his outer tunic.
Elladan and Elrond chucked, a small sign that they would overcome all this...one day.
"I think it's better Elrohir and I share a room for a while." Elladan whispered. His father nodded and they parted with an embrace.
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