Luke Danes awoke early Saturday morning to a loud clamor coming from downstairs. He immediately checked the bed for Lorelai and discovered she was missing. He tried to figure out where she could possibly be this early on a scorching summer morning. Luke reluctantly rolled over and out of bed and put on his shirt. Whoever was in the kitchen…well…he didn't want to have to think about it. He grabbed his spatula off the night table, the one Lorelai made him keep there for her own random reasons, and ventured down the stairs to the kitchen. To his surprise, it was Lorelai in the kitchen, running around tearing it apart, clad only in his boxers and a too small cami that was stretched too the limit across her 5 almost 6 month pregnant belly.
"Lorelai," he yelled in surprise.
"Luke she gasped jumping back in shock, "What are you doing?
"Well I heard someone down here and…" he rambled.
"You thought you could beat them with a spatula?" she asked, gesturing to the item in his hand.
"No...No!" He said flustered, dropping it on the floor, "Anyway, what are you doing, crazy lady?"
"Well, since you asked so kindly, I've been looking for my coffee since you so subtly switched me to decaff…AGAIN!" she said, hopping up awkwardly to sit on the kitchen counter.
"For the thousandth time, I am not going to watch you give our babies 2 heads each. That stuff is lethal!"
"Rory came out fine…" she argued.
"And look at her coffee habit. The tendency toward coffee of your offspring stops here!" As Lorelai pouted, Luke made his way across the kitchen to stand in front of her, hands on her thighs.
"One cup Lukie! Please!" she begged, hands on his shoulders, her gaze set on his.
"I'll give you something better," he said, eyeing her.
"What could be better than…"Luke cut her off, leaning forward and shoving her mouth on hers, as she tried to finish her sentence, throwing her hands in the air. He deepened the kiss and she relaxed, her arms snaked around his neck. This was their favorite make-out position because at this height on the counter, Lorelai was at exact eye level with Luke.
"Much," Kiss, "better," she breathed, wrapping her legs around his back. Their make-out sessions always progressed this way, and had become increasingly numerous as Lorelai's pregnancy and hormone increase continued. They would start in a random place in the house, then land on the couch and then finally, well…you know.
The passion between them increased and the counter became too uncomfortable and awkward, so, right on schedule, Luke was ready to move them to the living room. He decided to pick up Lorelai. Well, he tried to. He got two steps across the kitchen and almost dropped her. Quickly regaining his balance and breaking away from the kiss, he plopped her on the kitchen table. He tried to make it as if nothing happened, and began to kiss her again, but Lorelai didn't buy it.
"Luke" kiss, "Luke?" more kissed, "Luke!" she said pushing him back, "what just happened?
"I got tired. It is 6 am. I'm not in full Luke mode yet."
"Luke you get up at 5 am everyday and haul pounds of dead fish and cows into the diner."
"Okay, fine!" he chose his words carefully, "you are a little bit "different" than the last time I carried you."
"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear you call me fat," she said, crossing her arms over her protruding abdomen.
"Hey, I didn't call you fat! You're just a little more…" Luke thought carefully about how to phrase this, "round than the last time I carried you…" he said trailing off again.
"Hey, it's not like I pulled a Chuckie Finster and swallowed and watermelon seed and let in grow in my stomach…"
"Chuckie Finster?"
"Rugrats! The one where they eat watermelon and Angelica tells Chuckie that his stomach will explode to they go inside him to get the seed and…" she went off on a rant," Anyway! So not the point! I mean, I'm giving birth to you're babies after all," she said, poking him in the chest.
"Lorelai…" he warned.
"Hey, if it wasn't for me the Danes name would die with you…"
"Lorelai…"
"…And you'd probably still be 'I hate kids with Jam hands' Luke…"
"Lorelai…" he said more forcefully.
"…And you'd end up staying a Unabomber for the rest of your life, living over a diner, wearing flannel and baseball caps, and grunting one word answers at your customers…"
"Lorelai!" he exclaimed finally.
"Hey Luke," she said pulling him close again, "wanna know what'll make me stop ranting about your impending single life?" she asked, seductively trailing a finger down his chest. Luke already knew what was coming, but he played along anyway. "A nice" kiss, "steamy, "cup of coffee!" she said, giving him one more kiss and them pushing him back slightly, begging him with her eyes.
"Nice try," he said, letting go of her and stepping away.
"Please!" she begged climbing down from the table, "For all of our well beings! You see, when I have coffee, I don't whine! Don't you love it when I don't whine!?!"
"Yes..." he said, giving a little, and then quickly snapping out of his reverie of a non-whiny Lorelai, "No! No coffee! Not for you and especially not for them!" He said, gesturing and then turning to walk out of the kitchen.
"Oh come on Luke! One cup?" she said following him into the foyer.
"I'm going to work," He said grabbing his keys from the desk and his boots from the floor.
"In your pajamas?" she questioned.
"Yes," he said simply, opening the front door. Turning, he gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Goodbye crazy pregnant lady," he said, closing the door in her face, before she had time to say anything else.
Lorelai sighed and leaned her back against the door. "Oh well," she said rubbing her belly, "You guys will have the rest of your baby lives to get back at your daddy for me."