Apples, Lucy thought, were entirely underrated. Sure, they weren't meat or potatoes (her two favorite foods – unless takoyaki didn't count as meat, in which case it had second place!), but after two days of drifting inside a barrel, they were pretty close to getting third (or fourth) place. They were crunchy, juicy, sweet and, as was being proven, filling.
Off to the side, Coby continued blubbering about Alvida-something-or-other. "Blah-blah-blah…join the marines!"
Lucy paused in her chewing, "You want to join the marines?" She took another look at him, evaluating his sorry stature and soft face. Certainly not someone Gramps would be happy about receiving, especially not after his depressing speech about not being brave enough. She didn't get why her heart twinged in his presence – it made sense around Shanks and Ace, but this kid? "You'd never make it with that attitude."
He nodded sadly, "I know."
She was suddenly overcome with a ferocious desire to hit him, which she curbed with a decisive, "I don't like you."
He facefaulted, "So blunt…"
"I have a dream, too, though," she said, taking hold of the straw hat on her head. It had, remarkably, retained its fairly good condition despite constant exposure to sun and sea spray. She'd been careful to always have it tied around her neck securely if it wasn't on her head. She used to hate the feeling of a collar, which the string imitated, but she'd eventually gotten used to it for the sake of the hat. "I'm gonna be the Pirate King."
Coby gaped, "That's impossible! You'd need – power, wealth, fame! Every pirate in the world is trying to become the Pirate King!"
She nodded seriously, "So am I. And I'm gonna."
"And, anyway, wouldn't you be the Pirate Queen?"
She punched him. "King!"
"Ow! What's wrong with being a Pirate Queen?" he asked, rubbing his arm and looking at her with apprehension.
"What's wrong with a girl being Pirate King?" she challenged, "King's the most important, right? I'm gonna be the most important." She grasped the hat firmly, "I will accomplish my dream."
Coby watched her, something like awe lighting his features and making them a lot less pathetic than usual. "If you can say something crazy like that, then…then I'll become a marine! I'll become a marine and I'll arrest Alvida!"
Crash! "Just who is it that you'll be arresting?"
Lucy put the hat firmly on her head and got into a ready stance. "Yo, Coby. This ugly hag the Alvida you were talking about?"
Pink locks trembled as he looked at her, "Hey, w-wait, don't say things like that, you'll get her angry! She's…" he hushed, for once looking her in the eye. Something in his face changed, and he shut his eyes tightly, not willing to see what sorts of results his next declaration would bring, "She's the ugliest old hag in all of East Blue!"
Veins erupted all over the mammoth woman's face, giving the impression she was very close to exploding. Lucy chuckled, "Good for you, Coby. My grandpa's a marine, and I watched him train sometimes. Let me show you some of his moves," she said.
And then the party started.
[-M-]
"So…where to now?" Coby said, staring at her with a bemused expression she was coming to associate with everyone who'd seen her fight. They were all so surprised that a girl could hold her own.
"Where was it you said this Roronoa Zoro guy was?" she asked, pulling out a map and looking it over. Then, realizing it was upside down, flipping it. Then, realizing it was of a completely different area of the sea, wadding it up and tossing it into a corner of the small boat.
"H-Hold on!" Coby said, waving his arms to get her attention.
"You say things like that a lot…" Lucy said, pouting.
"You can't just walk up to him and ask him to join your crew! Besides, he's a pirate hunter. You're his target!" The pink-haired boy explained, fisting his hands in front of him and clenching in frustration with her.
She smacked her lips, "I'll just have to change his mind. I have a good feeling about him. The way the name just rolls off the tongue – Zo-ro-o-o."
"If you do that, he'll definitely kill us," Coby said, giving her the stinkeye.
"You don't have to come!" she said, finding the balled-up map and throwing it at his head.
"It was either you or Alvida's ship with all the pirates still on it!"
"Then you'd better stop complaining! Big baby!" she made the nastiest face she could at him, then lowered her hat over her face and reclined for a nap. Her companion sighed and followed her lead.
[-M-]
As soon as her eyes fixed on the man tied to the post, Lucy's heart ached so badly, she put a hand to it in surprise. Coby gave her a worried look, "You okay? You don't have a heart condition, do you?"
"You guys are annoying! Get lost!" Zoro said loudly in their direction.
"I'm…fine," she said, eyes going back to where the pirate hunter hung by his arms. She examined him more closely. It was a fairly breezy day, but she was wearing a shirt and shorts, and her hat was meant to keep the sun off her head and out of her eyes. Zoro's attire, on the other hand, looked heavy and hot: the shirt clung tightly to his torso, his dark bandana must've been making his scalp much hotter than it would've been had it been off, and his ridiculously dark pants were tucked into shiny, black boots. He didn't shift to let her check, but she guessed his arms were red and raw from the rope.
The sound of wood hitting stone came from her right, and she and Coby turned to see a little girl climb a ladder over the wall, quick as a fish, then drop a rope down (it wasn't secured properly at all, but the kid was small enough that it didn't matter as much as it should've) and slide into the enclosure, pressing a small package tightly to her chest. She ran over to the prisoner and presented two fluffy-looking rice balls proudly, smiling with genuine anticipation of the man eating her meal.
"I'm not hungry!" the man protested, "Get going before you get killed!"
The girl simply took a few steps closer and began trying to feed the bound swordsman, but was interrupted by the sound of the gate – the only conventional way in and out of the stone pen – opening.
Lucy caught a "Thank goodness" from Coby, the idiot probably thinking something about how great marines were, but she focused more on the conversation her ears could pick up.
"Bullying kids now, Zoro?" asked a skinny, blonde teen from in between two . He'd tried to dress himself into adulthood with a snazzy silk suit and gold chain, but it was thrown off by his unattractive bowl haircut and obnoxious way of walking. "Let's give these a try – see if they're good enough for my prisoner," the boy plucked an onigiri from the girl's kerchief, ignoring her attempts to keep them away from him, and took a bite. "Phlegh!" he spat it out immediately, "What's this shit? These aren't even good enough for my dog! Onigiri are supposed to be salty!"
"I…I wanted it to be sweet, since sweet things taste so nice," the girl said a little defiantly, but looking unsure about the remaining rice ball.
The blonde took this opportunity to knock the food out of her hands and rub it into the dirt, "Save the cooking for the adults, little girl. You!" he snapped his fingers at one of his guards, "Throw her out."
The man's shoulders tensed at the order, looking at the wall and the air the girl would catch if he threw her over. Her light weight wasn't such a good thing now. Lucy made eye contact with him and gave a subtle thumbs up, bracing her legs against the wall and opening her arms, ready to catch. The marine gave her a grateful look and tossed the girl as gently as he could in her direction; her rubber body was the perfect cushion. Without a thank you, the kid climbed off and immediately ran back to the ladder, bumping into Coby, who took her by the shoulders and restrained her from entering the pen.
"That guy was Captain Morgan's son." His gaze was troubled, "Seeing that…left a bad taste in my mouth. How could a marine act like that?"
"A real one would never," Lucy assured him, "They suck, but marines've got more pride than rubbing a little kid's onigiri into the dirt. We'll get Zoro eventually, but for now, we have to take her home."
Coby looked at the teary girl and offered her a hand, which she took gratefully, and began walking to the pub. After debating it a moment, Lucy climbed the ladder back up to the wall.
The marines weren't around anymore, so she dropped onto the dusty ground and walked over to the pirate hunter. "Public humiliation. You must be really strong."
"Mind your own business," he said. His jaw was swelling a bit on the right – he'd been hit, too. She wished she'd given him a once-over before hopping the wall; she could've gotten a wet cloth for his face first.
"How long are you supposed to be here?" she asked, eyeing his boots. They really did look uncomfortable. First thing she was doing when they got him out – dumping him in the ocean. She wasn't a fan of saltwater anymore, but she bet it would feel fantastic for his stuffy feet.
"I said mind your own business."
"Well, see ya," she said, turning around.
"Wait. The rice ball – give it to me."
"What rice ball?" her gaze landed on the thing on the ground, "Are you kidding? That looks worse than no food. It's a dirt ball now."
"You know what? Forget I asked."
"Don't get your panties in a twist," she picked it up, blowing some of the grit off, and fed it to him. "Bet that idiot was right about the taste."
"No," the swordsman smirked, "It was delicious."
Lucy smiled back, "I'll tell her." Then she took his bandana (and, wow, that was some green hair!).
[-M-]
She was out of breath, but the words got out, anyway. "Join my pirate crew."
"You have too much free time on your hands. And give me back my bandana." Zoro replied.
"They're going to execute you! Join my crew, or I won't let you go." Big fat fib, since her heart felt like it was being strangled by a python and she absolutely couldn't bear to let anything happen to this man in front of her if this was how she reacted, but it worked. Once the green-haired man got over the shock of hearing his own death sentence, he gave a scoff.
"You're the daughter of the devil, you know that? Fine. But I can't leave without my swords – they're in the tower."
"'Kay!" she said, and stretched her arms to propel herself to the base.
"Oi! Free me first! And what the hell's up with your arms?!"
[-M-]
Helmeppo was a useless sack of dog shit, but his wimpy frame made it easy to drag him through the building in search of his room.
"The hell are you keeping his swords in your room for, anyway?" she asked him while she ran, "They're supposed to go the evidence room or the armoury!"
"Why do you know so much about marines?" he asked her in between whimpers of pain over love taps from the walls or the floor.
She kicked him, "Stop asking questions! Like I'm gonna tell you! Now, which one's your room?"
"Up ahead."
She burst in, looking around for any katana, then was overwhelmed by… "It's pink."
"So?"
Her grandfather could pull off pink – he had, a few times, when she got the urge to do tea parties when she was little. Shanks could – 'real men don't care' and all that. She wasn't sure why, but Ace didn't like to fool around with dressing up and went for the somewhat lazy abs-out, durable-shorts-only approach to dressing, though she could bet, if he ever decided to, he had enough testosterone to pull off pink, as well. Helmeppo, however…
"Is Zoro gonna want these back?" she asked, "I mean, you cleaned them after you got off, right? Are they safe?"
"I didn't do anything like that to them! I just thought they looked cool!"
"Sure," she said, "Denial is the first step. The power to you, man, don't try to be what you're not. I just wanna know – "
"I didn't do that," the teen said, red-faced and looking about ready to die, "Just take them and go."
She gingerly took them, then made her way to the window and jumped.
[-M-]
"What the hell?"
Coby only afforded the sight of Lucy jumping out of what must've been a sixth-story window a glance before he returned to the job of getting Roronoa Zoro out of his bindings. "You'll get used to it," he said. "These are really tight – I'm really starting to dislike how the marines run things around here."
"You and me both," Zoro said, shaking his hair to keep it from tickling his forehead. It was oily and stayed put – if he had his bandana, he wouldn't be having this problem. Stupid rubber girl.
"Here you go! I'm not sure which is yours, though. Also, you should know that there's some chance Helmeppo did the nasty with these."
Zoro choked on nothing. "The fuck?"
"He said he didn't, but I'm not buying it. He kept them in his room." Lucy shrugged.
"I take comfort in knowing that that isn't enough evidence to conclude anything, and will trust Helmeppo on this one," Coby said, looking anywhere but at the swords.
"You and me both," Zoro repeated, looking more than a little disgusted. "And you! Give me my bandana back!"
"Yeah, yeah," Lucy said, pulling it out of her shirt.
"What's it doing in there?" the pirate hunter yelled, face turning even redder.
"My sports bra's beginning to stretch out; I needed it to keep things from bouncing," Lucy explained, fastening it over the man's head before he could move and push her away.
"Then use something else!"
"This was free!" she said defensively, "You're just unlucky."
"Hate to break up the flirting, but we've got company," Coby said, done untying Zoro and pointing at the gate, where Captain Morgan, in all his axe-handed glory, was walking menacingly towards them, a group of marines surrounding him.
"I've got this," Zoro said, tightening the bandana, "Let me show you what a real swordsman can do, captain."
Her heart clenched so tightly at that, she couldn't respond. Just nodded and prepared to jump in in case those rifles were put to use.
[-M-]
Lucy gave a surprised squeak as Coby pushed her down, then inwardly groaned when he looked immediately apologetic. She jumped up and pulled back for a punch, "You're gonna get it for that!"
He gave a cry – her fist smashed the sharp edge of his glasses right into his face – but fought back, weak punches hitting her arms and stomach, but avoiding her breasts and face. Still, it was enough for the marines to assume they were fighting for real.
In a few moments, she and Zoro were cooling their heels in a boat drifting farther and farther away from the base.
"You know where we're going?" he asked her.
"Nope!"
…
…
A/N: Might be a story. Might be drabbles. Might even be a oneshot. Dunno.