A/N: This isn't my first Animorphs fic but the first one I've posted. It's
a continuation from book 13, "The Change," from the last of the book. It's
where Tobias sees Rachel and the others for the first time in his human
morph. It's mostly fluff.
~*~**~*~*~* Sometimes It Happens ~*~**~*~*~*
"Hi, Rachel," I said in my human voice.
She stood, staring at me. Her mouth moved, but she was speechless. Uncomfortably, I fidgeted. It wasn't quite the reaction I had hoped for.
"Tobias," she whispered, her eyes traveling up and down my body, as if not believing that I was real.
I realized she was blocking the door. People were muttering stuff about awards not being given to the brightest people.
"Rachel," I said, swallowing. "Move."
Suddenly it was as if she snapped. She came at me, full blast. I resisted the urge to flap, because I no longer had wings. It would take awhile to break my hawk instincts. She threw her arms around me, pulling me tightly against her.
"What happened, Tobias?" she said, fiercely, looking up into my eyes. "I thought you . . ."
"Shh," I said, gently, smiling at her. "I'll tell you later. But I saw you get the award, Rachel."
"Idiot," she muttered, but it was full of affection. Recklessly smiling, she suddenly leaned up and kissed me.
"No way," I heard Marco suddenly. "That's not him, because that can't possibly be him."
Still holding onto Rachel, I looked up at over at Marco, who was standing with Jake. They were both gaping at me, being crushed in the frenzy to exit school.
"Hi Marco," I said tolerantly, rolling my eyes. It felt good to roll my eyes. I did it again. "Hi, Jake." Suddenly it felt good to use my human mouth. I knew what Ax must have felt when he morphed human.
"Tobias," Jake managed, coming closer, but still trying to be discreet about it. I realized that most likely Chapman was here and who knew how many other Controllers? "I don't believe it. What did you do?"
"I'll tell you later."
Rachel was still hanging onto me furiously, as if she let go, I would simply revert back to hawk. "Don't go," she said quietly, softly. "Don't go."
"I have to," I said, pushing her away kindly. My heart felt suddenly so full, so alive. I could feel my fingers, feel my toes. I ran my tongue along my teeth. I wanted to laugh and never stop. I was human again. I wanted to wrap my arms around Rachel and throw her into the air. Human! "Your mom's here, Rachel, isn't she? She'll be freaking out over you kissing some strange boy."
Marco almost gagged, but since he was close enough, Rachel took the opportunity and kindly punched him.
"C'mon, Marco," Jake said severely, grabbing Marco's arm and dragging him out. His eyes came back over us. It wasn't anger in his eyes, but it was some mixture of happiness and awe. "And Tobias, we need to talk."
I nodded to show I heard him. Human ears were nothing like raptor ears. I wanted to squint when I looked down at Rachel. But it was better. Suddenly I wanted to cry. My eyes felt watery. Suddenly I wanted to break down and have Rachel hold me and tell me everything was okay. That everything would be okay and now that I was human again, everything would be better.
But I couldn't.
"I have to go," I told her thickly, feeling something in my throat.
She smiled up at me, her eyes dazzling. "Wait outside where no one can see you," she said quietly. "I'll get away somehow."
I nodded, my throat tightening. I wanted so badly to cry, I was so overcome with emotion. Her eyes seemed to understand and she kissed me again. "Everything will be alright, Tobias. Everything's better now."
"Yes," I said, awkwardly. "I hope so."
She gripped my hand for a moment and then fought her way to her mother. I watched and then turned and left.
~*~*~*~*~*
I sat in an alcove of trees and bushes. It was very convenient. I watched as kids, kids I barely remembered, caught buses, unparked cars, or just went about mindlessly on their own business. It was sort of disturbing. I felt out of place. I looked up at the crystal blue sky. I looked down at my finger. No wings and no sky. The small digital watch I had managed to steal from Cassie's house told me I had less than an hour in morph. I needed to get going, but I had promised I would stay for Rachel.
Streaks of blonde suddenly flamed gold.
Rachel!
I couldn't help myself. I leapt from my hiding spot and bounded over to her like an oversized puppy. She caught me in her arms and we tumbled to the ground.
And suddenly the tears I had felt earlier returned. My face was buried in her long, golden hair. I started to cry.
I don't know why I cried. It felt right. I felt as if . . . something was being lifted from me. As if I was suddenly lighter. As if a thousand wounds had left me and now I was healed and wrapped in bandages. My wings were fingers and my talons were feet. I had my humanity back. But I had kept my immorality.
So maybe I cried because now I was free to choose. Or maybe because Rachel, her kisses, her sweet hair, was just too much for me. Whatever it was, I sobbed.
She didn't say a word. Only waited until I was done and then took my head in her hands, feeling it.
"You are human," she said, softly, looking into my eyes, roaming my dirty blonde, shaggy hair.
"Yes." I gulped, trying to catch my breath. I wiped the tears from my cheeks.
"Tobias." Her voice was lilting, exulted. This was the Rachel I knew. "What happened? Did the Ellimist take it back and gave you back your human form?"
I shook my head, feeling my throat tense. Slowly, exhaling softly, I finally explained everything to her, even back to the raccoon in the forest when I had first acquired it.
After I was finished, she just sat, thinking, contemplating. Her hand was gripping mine. Sun slanted through the clouds. I checked my watch. Just under twenty minutes left in morph.
"So you're still a hawk," she said, slowly, "but you can become your old self as a morph."
"That looks like the package," I said, smiling slightly. "Marco would have a smart remark to that, but fortunately, I am not Marco."
She gazed at me. It made me uncomfortable and I fidgeted.
"Tobias," she said after awhile. "So you're still a hawk?"
I winced. "It's the form I need to acquire DNA. I can't acquire DNA as a human. I have a two-hour limit as a human. I've got less than twenty minutes."
She seemed to be struggling to say something, but she kept it back. Her face was sad, but she smiled brilliantly at me. "I'm happy for you, Tobias."
I smiled back at her. "I'm happy for me too."
She glanced backward. I suddenly realized her little sisters and mom were in her car.
"You let them see us together?" I almost shrieked, stumbling back.
"I needed to see you," she said, softly, pulling me to my feet.
I smiled at her again. Count on Rachel to dare extremes for a small account.
"I need to go," I said, quietly. "My time's almost up. I'll come to your window tonight."
"Alright," she said, nodding. She leaned in and kissed me again. I was starting to like it. "See you tonight, Soaring Hawk."
I almost laughed at her. "See you tonight, Daring Eagle."
Squeezing my hand a final time, she went back to her car. I looked at my watch. Ten minutes left to demorph. It would be close, but if I ran, I could make it. I pushed off with my legs and sprinted.
My heart was full as I soared into the sky. I had my wings back. It felt good.
But I also had Rachel back.
HAVE I KEPT MY PROMISE?
The Ellimist spoke again, the same question he had asked me before.
Yes, I answered instantly.
AND ARE YOU HAPPY, TOBIAS?
It took me a few minutes to think. I felt as if he were still waiting, the whole world drawing in its breath in a gasp to wait for me.
Is this what I had wanted?
I remembered Rachel's look, the feel of her lips against mines. I remembered my fingers, wriggling, so soft, yet so, so needed and trusting. I remembered my eyes and ears, pathetic, yes, but I remembered my voice. The sounds that came from it, expressing so much emotion a hawk could never.
My wings billow with air. I remember thermals, soaring up above clouds, seeing, pleasuring. The sensation of being so far, yet so close. My eyes, wonderful; my ears that could hear a voice that was so soft. I remembered the flying, leaving the problems, soaring away.
I remembered hanging in the purple abyss, half hawk, half human.
So I am both. Forever I will be both.
And was I happy?
I felt the breath again, waiting, expectant, patiently awaiting my answer.
The world stood still.
Yes, I answered. I am happy.
~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~* Yes, I know, probably not very good but plot bunnies are devils.
~*~**~*~*~* Sometimes It Happens ~*~**~*~*~*
"Hi, Rachel," I said in my human voice.
She stood, staring at me. Her mouth moved, but she was speechless. Uncomfortably, I fidgeted. It wasn't quite the reaction I had hoped for.
"Tobias," she whispered, her eyes traveling up and down my body, as if not believing that I was real.
I realized she was blocking the door. People were muttering stuff about awards not being given to the brightest people.
"Rachel," I said, swallowing. "Move."
Suddenly it was as if she snapped. She came at me, full blast. I resisted the urge to flap, because I no longer had wings. It would take awhile to break my hawk instincts. She threw her arms around me, pulling me tightly against her.
"What happened, Tobias?" she said, fiercely, looking up into my eyes. "I thought you . . ."
"Shh," I said, gently, smiling at her. "I'll tell you later. But I saw you get the award, Rachel."
"Idiot," she muttered, but it was full of affection. Recklessly smiling, she suddenly leaned up and kissed me.
"No way," I heard Marco suddenly. "That's not him, because that can't possibly be him."
Still holding onto Rachel, I looked up at over at Marco, who was standing with Jake. They were both gaping at me, being crushed in the frenzy to exit school.
"Hi Marco," I said tolerantly, rolling my eyes. It felt good to roll my eyes. I did it again. "Hi, Jake." Suddenly it felt good to use my human mouth. I knew what Ax must have felt when he morphed human.
"Tobias," Jake managed, coming closer, but still trying to be discreet about it. I realized that most likely Chapman was here and who knew how many other Controllers? "I don't believe it. What did you do?"
"I'll tell you later."
Rachel was still hanging onto me furiously, as if she let go, I would simply revert back to hawk. "Don't go," she said quietly, softly. "Don't go."
"I have to," I said, pushing her away kindly. My heart felt suddenly so full, so alive. I could feel my fingers, feel my toes. I ran my tongue along my teeth. I wanted to laugh and never stop. I was human again. I wanted to wrap my arms around Rachel and throw her into the air. Human! "Your mom's here, Rachel, isn't she? She'll be freaking out over you kissing some strange boy."
Marco almost gagged, but since he was close enough, Rachel took the opportunity and kindly punched him.
"C'mon, Marco," Jake said severely, grabbing Marco's arm and dragging him out. His eyes came back over us. It wasn't anger in his eyes, but it was some mixture of happiness and awe. "And Tobias, we need to talk."
I nodded to show I heard him. Human ears were nothing like raptor ears. I wanted to squint when I looked down at Rachel. But it was better. Suddenly I wanted to cry. My eyes felt watery. Suddenly I wanted to break down and have Rachel hold me and tell me everything was okay. That everything would be okay and now that I was human again, everything would be better.
But I couldn't.
"I have to go," I told her thickly, feeling something in my throat.
She smiled up at me, her eyes dazzling. "Wait outside where no one can see you," she said quietly. "I'll get away somehow."
I nodded, my throat tightening. I wanted so badly to cry, I was so overcome with emotion. Her eyes seemed to understand and she kissed me again. "Everything will be alright, Tobias. Everything's better now."
"Yes," I said, awkwardly. "I hope so."
She gripped my hand for a moment and then fought her way to her mother. I watched and then turned and left.
~*~*~*~*~*
I sat in an alcove of trees and bushes. It was very convenient. I watched as kids, kids I barely remembered, caught buses, unparked cars, or just went about mindlessly on their own business. It was sort of disturbing. I felt out of place. I looked up at the crystal blue sky. I looked down at my finger. No wings and no sky. The small digital watch I had managed to steal from Cassie's house told me I had less than an hour in morph. I needed to get going, but I had promised I would stay for Rachel.
Streaks of blonde suddenly flamed gold.
Rachel!
I couldn't help myself. I leapt from my hiding spot and bounded over to her like an oversized puppy. She caught me in her arms and we tumbled to the ground.
And suddenly the tears I had felt earlier returned. My face was buried in her long, golden hair. I started to cry.
I don't know why I cried. It felt right. I felt as if . . . something was being lifted from me. As if I was suddenly lighter. As if a thousand wounds had left me and now I was healed and wrapped in bandages. My wings were fingers and my talons were feet. I had my humanity back. But I had kept my immorality.
So maybe I cried because now I was free to choose. Or maybe because Rachel, her kisses, her sweet hair, was just too much for me. Whatever it was, I sobbed.
She didn't say a word. Only waited until I was done and then took my head in her hands, feeling it.
"You are human," she said, softly, looking into my eyes, roaming my dirty blonde, shaggy hair.
"Yes." I gulped, trying to catch my breath. I wiped the tears from my cheeks.
"Tobias." Her voice was lilting, exulted. This was the Rachel I knew. "What happened? Did the Ellimist take it back and gave you back your human form?"
I shook my head, feeling my throat tense. Slowly, exhaling softly, I finally explained everything to her, even back to the raccoon in the forest when I had first acquired it.
After I was finished, she just sat, thinking, contemplating. Her hand was gripping mine. Sun slanted through the clouds. I checked my watch. Just under twenty minutes left in morph.
"So you're still a hawk," she said, slowly, "but you can become your old self as a morph."
"That looks like the package," I said, smiling slightly. "Marco would have a smart remark to that, but fortunately, I am not Marco."
She gazed at me. It made me uncomfortable and I fidgeted.
"Tobias," she said after awhile. "So you're still a hawk?"
I winced. "It's the form I need to acquire DNA. I can't acquire DNA as a human. I have a two-hour limit as a human. I've got less than twenty minutes."
She seemed to be struggling to say something, but she kept it back. Her face was sad, but she smiled brilliantly at me. "I'm happy for you, Tobias."
I smiled back at her. "I'm happy for me too."
She glanced backward. I suddenly realized her little sisters and mom were in her car.
"You let them see us together?" I almost shrieked, stumbling back.
"I needed to see you," she said, softly, pulling me to my feet.
I smiled at her again. Count on Rachel to dare extremes for a small account.
"I need to go," I said, quietly. "My time's almost up. I'll come to your window tonight."
"Alright," she said, nodding. She leaned in and kissed me again. I was starting to like it. "See you tonight, Soaring Hawk."
I almost laughed at her. "See you tonight, Daring Eagle."
Squeezing my hand a final time, she went back to her car. I looked at my watch. Ten minutes left to demorph. It would be close, but if I ran, I could make it. I pushed off with my legs and sprinted.
My heart was full as I soared into the sky. I had my wings back. It felt good.
But I also had Rachel back.
HAVE I KEPT MY PROMISE?
The Ellimist spoke again, the same question he had asked me before.
Yes, I answered instantly.
AND ARE YOU HAPPY, TOBIAS?
It took me a few minutes to think. I felt as if he were still waiting, the whole world drawing in its breath in a gasp to wait for me.
Is this what I had wanted?
I remembered Rachel's look, the feel of her lips against mines. I remembered my fingers, wriggling, so soft, yet so, so needed and trusting. I remembered my eyes and ears, pathetic, yes, but I remembered my voice. The sounds that came from it, expressing so much emotion a hawk could never.
My wings billow with air. I remember thermals, soaring up above clouds, seeing, pleasuring. The sensation of being so far, yet so close. My eyes, wonderful; my ears that could hear a voice that was so soft. I remembered the flying, leaving the problems, soaring away.
I remembered hanging in the purple abyss, half hawk, half human.
So I am both. Forever I will be both.
And was I happy?
I felt the breath again, waiting, expectant, patiently awaiting my answer.
The world stood still.
Yes, I answered. I am happy.
~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~* Yes, I know, probably not very good but plot bunnies are devils.