I wrote this little oneshot for the Overheard in Hogwarts, Part Deux! By lilkyonkyon. Hope you enjoy, review, you know, all that stuff you're supposed to put in an author's note.
"I'm telling you, you're going to get caught." Remus said again, hurrying after his friend as they walked out of the dormitory.
"Don't worry, McGonagal won't even no we're there." James said confidentially.
"And if she does find you?" Remus asked. "At least tell me you have a back up plan." James stopped and turned to face him.
"Look, it'll be fine. If we do get caught - which we won't - then we'll just lie." Sirius nodded in agreement and slung an arm around his best friend.
"Exactly. You can lie to women. They aren't people." Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, I don't think that's how it works." he said, but James shook his head.
"No, he's right. They aren't people. Take Evans for example; she's a goddess. No where near human." Remus just rolled his eyes at the same time Sirius did. Suddenly, something occurred to him.
"Hey, where's Wormtail?" he asked, glancing around the common room.
"Down in the kitchens. He got hungry." Sirius laughed. "But when isn't he hungry?" Remus had to admit he had a point. Pete usually waited for meals until after dinner though...
"Did something happen?" he asked with a frown.
"Well, apparently he had a nightmare. I couldn't understand what he was going on about but I did hear something like, 'and there were exploding unicorn's in the background.' or at least doing whatever it is unicorns do." James laughed at the memory. Remus was confused but knew better than to ask for clarification. It would only end with more confusion.
"Don't you have a prank to pull?" Remus asked. Sirius grinned.
"That's my Moony!" he said. He lifted Remus's chin and gave him a quick kiss. James blanched.
"Didn't we agree, not in front of me?" he asked, making a face. Sirius threw an arm around Remus, still grinning.
"Remember this moment when you're snogging Evans and we tell you to stop." he said. James rolled his eyes and grabbed Sirius by the arm to pull him towards the portrait hole. Sirius waved to Remus and yelled, "Goodbye my sweet Moonykins!" Remus chuckled and went to sit in a chair by the fireplace and, as usually happened when he was alone, was bombarded by girls of various years wanting to know how he had scored Sirius Black.
"James, stop elbowing me!" Sirius hissed as they snuck into her office under the invisibility cloak.
"Then stop stepping on my toes!" he said back. They approached Professor McGonagal's office and didn't see any light under the door, meaning she must not be in. James used Alohomora on the door and they moved somewhat quietly inside and shut the door behind them. When they took off the invisibility cloak and turned around, they were shocked and displeased to see the professor standing behind them, arms crossed and mouth thinner than they had ever seen it.
"What, may I ask, are you two doing breaking into my office?" she asked coldly. James and Sirius gulped simultaneously.
"Um, we were... Looking for you." James said lamely.
"And you needed to break into my office to find me?" Neither of the boys had a response to this. McGonagal sighed. "Then why did you need to find me?"
"Uh... Homework question?" suggested Sirius.
"There was no homework tonight." she informed them. Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"Really? You always give out a pile of homework." McGonagal didn't even bother telling them off. She knew it would be no use.
"20 points from Griffindor for breaking into my office and for whatever it is you were about to do." she said as she pushed them towards the door.
"Not even a detention?" James asked.
"No detention as long as you refrain from breaking and entering any teachers office's in the future." she said. James and Sirius gave her broad grins as they were pushed out the door. They stumbled, catching themselves before falling into the wall and heard the door click shut behind them.
"So what we learned today is lying pays off!" James said as they walked back towards they're dorms.
"Exactly." Sirius confirmed, nodding. "Well, since that fell through, wanna charm the suits of armor to insult anyone who walked past?" James grinned and ran towards the first suit ahead of them.
Back in the common room, the girls still wouldn't leave poor Moony alone.
"C'mon, you say that every time but I don't think it's true!" a second year blond said. Remus sighed.
"He is gay. Otherwise he wouldn't date me, would he?"
"He could be bisexual." a brown haired girl pointed out. Remus realized this was a fair point but didn't want to consider it. He had, of course, thought about it, but the fact that Sirius could be bisexual meant that there were twice the people Sirius could decide he liked better.
"No." he said. "No, I don't think so."
"Are you sure I'm gay?" asked a voice from the portrait hole. Remus turned to see James and Sirius walking in. Sirius laughed at the look on Remus's face. "I'm only kidding Moony. Of course I am." The girls who let themselves get their hopes up looked disappointed. Sirius walked over to Remus and kissed him, inducing squealing girls and James's shouts of, "Padfoot, I said not in front of me!". James then promptly threw a nearby book at Sirius to make him pull away.
"Hey!" he said, chucking the book back, but James dodged it. Feigning anger, he turned back to Remus and said, "Where do you keep your books on revenge?" James paled; he may not have done much, but the Blacks were inbred and insane. The smallest of things could set them off. Sirius laughed and trapped James in a headlock.
In the corner, Lily Evans rolled her eyes and tried valiantly not to think about how that Potter boy really could be alright sometimes.