-1Are You Going To Change?
"We'll talk about it after school."
The words echoed in Sakura's head over and over. She couldn't believe what she had seen. Tori, her brother, her big brother who had always seemed like the most boyish boy in the whole world, kissing Julian, his best friend. It had been early, around three or four in the morning, and she had just been on her way back to bed from the bathroom. Her brother, a Freshman in college, was so lucky because he got to stay out late. He had just been coming in from being out with a group of friends. He laughed to Julian, who had come inside with him, and whispered, "Shut up, Dude! You're gonna wake up my dad and little sister!"
Sakura, from behind the wall where the hallway met the living room, rolled her eyes at the comment. Eleven years old was far too old to be called little sister anymore. She was a preteen, thank you very much. She smiled dreamily at Julian, her crush, who was dressed in a nice collar shirt and denims. A big contrast from her brother in his ratty old T-shirt and faded jeans. The two sat on the couch-more like collapsed, since boys never just sat anywhere, and began talking quietly about the party they had just been to, and school, and work, and cars, and beer, and all of the other things they always talked about. Sakura secretly always hoped she'd catch something juicy, but these weren't Li's sisters, who always had somebody to gossip about. This was her smelly old brother who never thought further ahead then his next meal.
"I think it was a cool party," Julian finally sighed, nodding. "I had fun."
Tori nodded too, and massaged his forehead. "I can't believe I have that Trig test tomorrow." He stood up, stretched, disgustingly popping every muscle imaginable, and dusted his hands off on his unwashed jeans. "So, I'll meet up with you after tomorrow?"
Julian stood up too. "Yah, and good luck with that."
Sakura watched, cocking her head slightly, as the two suddenly moved closer, Julian's arms wrapping around Tori's waist, and their lips met. She squinted slightly, thinking for a moment maybe it was just too dark to see what was really happening. However, she knew what was really happening, and she couldn't believe it. Never, in her eleven years of life, would she have expected this. From Julian, maybe because Madison told her sweet guys like were just too good to be true, but Tori? Her own brother? Her brother who used to have the biggest crush on Katie Green, the pizza girl? Her brother who still picked her up and slammed her down on the couch like a wrestler, even in front of her friends? Her brother who left so much burger wrappers and empty soda bottles in his room that it was impossible to see floor?
They finally broke apart, smiled a little, and Julian left. Sakura then watched as her brother sauntered into the kitchen, his hand down the back of his jeans scratching his rear, and fill a glass of water from the sink. Sakura looked down at the floor, up at the ceiling, her bedroom, her father's bedroom, and finally, Tori-who had just come into the hallway.
"You on Guard Duty or something?" Her older brother asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.
"I was going back to bed..."Sakura looked away from him. "Tori, were you and Julian just...I mean, well, I thought I saw..." she was stopped when Tori rumpled her hair and roughly pulled her against him with his free arm.
"We'll talk about it after school, Squirt," he told her. With that, he headed for his room, closed the door, and Sakura was left alone to sort all of this out.
When Sakura got home, she headed straight for her room and changed into some cotton shorts and a T-shirt. She then threw on her sneakers and started for the front door. She decided she did not want to talk with her brother about this. It didn't really happen. Her brother was not...she couldn't even bring herself to think of the word. Not that she hated people like that. It was just that Tori wasn't one of them. He was Tori. He was such a boy. It was strange.
As she opened the front door from the inside, so did Tori from the outside. They stared at each other, and then Tori stepped in, and in his monotone droll said, "Beep beep." It was a joke that went back as far as Sakura could remember. When she was very young, still in diapers even, she and Tori used to stand on opposite ends of the bedroom doors. They would yank them open at the same time and then say, "BEEP BEEP!" and hurry past each other.
"Where are you headed?" Tori asked, setting a grocery bag down on the kitchen table. He retrieved a bottle of Rootbeer from the bag and began chugging it down.
"I was thinking of going to Madison's for a little while, " Sakura shrugged. "She's got that new High School Musial movie and we were thinking of watching it." She held her breath, waiting for her brother to suddenly proclaim his new love of the movie. After all, isn't that what...those kind of people liked? Musicals? However, her brother only continued to unload groceries.
"Sakura, I wanna talk to you about what you saw last night," he said, finally looking at her. "I know you were watching us." He walked over to the couch and fell back onto it and stared at Sakura. She reluctantly sat beside him.
"So are you and Julian...?" She looked down at her lap. "You know...that way?"
"Gay?" Tori replied. "Yah, Sakura." When Sakura said nothing, Tori added, "We've been together for a while now. Since last year at least."
"But..." Sakura shook her head, confused. "How come I never noticed? How come you never told me? Have you told anybody?" She suddenly thought about something. "Have you told Dad?"
Tori nodded, unamused. "Dad's perfectly okay with it. He likes Julian a lot, anyway. I haven't told you because I was just waiting for you to get a little bit older, that's all." He looked at her. "As for noticing, I would never run around macking with somebody in public, even if it was a girl. That's just weird."
His little sister looked up at him. "Does this mean you're going to change?" She wouldn't mind seeing him and Julian kiss or hold hands, but she would certainly mind a few other things.
"What do you mean 'change'?" Tori inquired. He wasn't angry or anything. He knew Sakura was still little.
"I mean, are you going to start talking all funny and calling people 'Sweetie' and stuff?" Sakura frowned at the thought as she spoke. "Are you going to start dressing really weird? You know, like...like they do on TV?"
Tori tried to hide his grin that he knew was coming. He loved Sakura to death, and sometimes she was just so naive it was too adorable for him to take. He shook his head, crinkling his nose. "Not all gay people act like the 'Queer-Eye' guys," he explained. "Just because I like a guy doesn't mean I'm going to start acting like a girl, if that's what you mean." He looked at her. "Is that what you mean?"
Sakura nodded. "I like you being...well, you. I like you being messy and turning off the bathroom light from the outside when I'm in the shower and then banging on the door really loud, and calling me names..." she realized she was blushing. She'd always thought these were things she hated, but after thinking Tori was going to change, well, they seemed different now.
"I'm glad you're not upset with me," Tori told her, patting her leg. "I could handle Dad not accepting it, but not you."
Sakura was confused. "Why me? I'd be a lot more upset if Dad didn't like it then if you didn't like it."
"Dad's cool and everything," Tori explained. "But it's just not the same, Squirt." He sighed and stood up. "Anyway, it's your night to cook dinner, but why don't we go out tonight instead? Dad'll be home late anyway, so he probably didn't plan to be home for dinner."
Sakura smiled and stood up. "Oh! Could we go to Joe's Crab Shack?! I love it there!"
Tori stood up too and winced. "There goes my whole paycheck, but okay. Whatever you want." He grinned as Sakura turned to walk away, and then he grabbed her around the waist, picking her up, upside down. Sakura squealed and laughed, pounding on his arms. Like a wrestler, Tori threw her down onto the couch, and as she turned over to crawl away, still laughing, her brother grabbed her by the ankles and drug her back, scooping her up and carrying her all over the house, pretending like he was going to drop her.
He was still the same old ratty big brother he always had been, and always would be.
The End