Tis the Season

Note from author: I wrote this a good two years ago, but since it was never put on ff.net, I figured I'd put it out before I forgot again. It's out of season, ironically, but amusing nevertheless.

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"What the hell are you taking about, Tenpou?" Kenren asked, irritated and tapping his foot impatiently while looking about the marshal's study. Funny shaped candy found in every conceivable free spot in the already cramped little room. "Tis WHAT fucking season?"

"Why, THE season," Tenpou replied cheerily over a book. His voice was muffled by the long piece of stripped candy held not-very delicately between his lips. "For them anyway. I picked these up at from earth...a holiday collection so to speak." He continued to suck and Kenren could only look on with a bit of envy.

"Hey."

"Mmh?"

"You tryin' to tell me something?"

"Now why would I do that?" He smiled. "Since when have I been indirect, Taishou?"

Another suck. Being loud about it this time.

Kenren twitched, then plunked himself down next to his preoccupied superior, staring intently into eyes that pretended not to look back, the quirk in Tenpou's lips indicating that he was highly enjoying this little game. He bit down. Kenren winced.

"Tenpou..."

"Candy cane?" Tenpou offered, sticking a freshly opened piece of candy into the mouth that uttered his name and smiling innocently as the Taishou gagged. Apparently, he pushed too hard.

"Agh!" Kenren choked out between coughs. "You're trying to kill me...you really are."

A slim brow lifted in wicked question. "The other way around perhaps? Maybe I haven't had enough lately. You've been so awfully busy."

"Vengeful little..."

"Watch it Taishou."

So this was Tenpou Gensui pouting, Kenren thought amusedly, scratching the back of his head. Maybe it has been a long time since the two did any of that...long enough to give Tenpou time to go down to earth and start his collection spree.

"Not enough what, Ten-chan?"

Two heads snapped towards the source of the voice: Goku standing at the door, looking quizzically at the new decoration.

"Well...Goku..."

"Sweet stuff, chibi." Kenren interrupted hastily. "He's been...eh...down lately."

Tenpou's eyes narrowed in warning. "Taishou...you're treading dangerous territory."

"That food?" Goku pointed to the red, green and white stick that had replaced Kenren's ever-present cigarette. He seemed to be enjoying it, so it must be food. What else would make him smile like that?

"Yep. You suck on it hard. Candy. Real good to feel good." Replied Kenren, closing his eyes, leaning back luxuriously against the bookshelf and avoiding yet another glare that said. `Not around children, Taishou.'

Tenpou supplemented the offered information with something less infused with... Kenren-ness. "Yes. It's very popular on earth, Goku. It gets people into the spirit during-"

"Into the spirit?"

Teacher mode: on. "Well...the connotation is more religious than anything else. It all started-"

"Makes kids happy, Goku." Kenren cut him off, then added mercilessly, "And adults like us even happier."

"Oh." Contemplative silence, pierced only by the jangling of chains as Goku's hand thoughtfully went up to his chin. "So...it'll make Konzen happy also...right?"

Tenpou and Kenren instantly traded glances whose intention was lost when silence retook the room.

"Ten-chan? Ken-niichan?"

"You see, kid...um...what I meant by happy was..." he struggled a moment longer then gave up. "Tenpou? You're the kid's teacher."

Tenpou took a deep breath, his euphemism-infused way of lecturing Goku put to the ultimate test. "Konzen is Konzen. You can't really predict how he would react to candy, Goku. He might think it childish or he may be appreciative of the gesture. Personally, I think it's the latter. You just have to approach him the right way."

"How's that?"

A pause as Tenpou meditated, twirling the candy in his mouth. "Kenren had the right idea."

More contemplative silence. More furtive glances. Until finally...

"Got it!"

"Do you, Goku?" Something about his tone made Tenpou uneasy, but before he could find out what was on the little itan's mind, the boy was out the door in a flash, candycane in hand, barreling towards Konzen's office and meeting said god halfway there.

Kenren and Tenpou stilled and listened.

"Konzen! Konzen! Ken-niichan wants you to suck on it! Hard."

Though they didn't hear it, they knew that the apocalypse was going to come in a golden fury. Kenren paled, candy falling from his mouth and shattering on the floor. He instinctively reached for a cigarette, "Oh fuck..." then gave a pleading look towards Tenpou for help.

His silent plea was met by a sadistic grin. "Tis the season to be giving, Taishou. I can wait."