Uryu
Kurosaki Ichigo is an idiot. That's for sure. Not only is he an idiot, but he's an idiot that can't act to save his life. This much, Ishida Uryu knew. Now, he wasn't insulting Ichigo out of spite, or because he's a Shinigami (a fact which has nothing to do with the matter at hand). He's insulting Ichigo because his thought about the orange-haired peabrain is true. And that makes the insult more fun.
And at this moment, Uryu thought that Ichigo couldn't act for shit.
"What's wrong with you, Kurosaki? You look uglier than you usually do."
"That's precious coming from you, four eyes." Ichigo retorted, glaring at Ishida as he rubbed at his eyes. "Why are you asking, anyway? Are you concerned for me?"
Ishida scoffed. "Please. Don't flatter yourself, Kurosaki. A stampede of elephants could trample you right this moment and I won't blink an eye, let alone shed a tear for you."
"Won't you at least bury me?"
"Bury you? I might as well throw you at some farm. I'm sure your mangled body would make good fertilizer."
"Cold." Ichigo continued to rub at his eyes. This only made Ishida smirk.
"Itchy eyes?" he asked.
"Uh…yeah. My eyes are watering up and everything. Must be from the dust."
"Yeah, sure it is."
Ichigo gave Ishida a look. "What's with that tone of voice?"
Ishida adjusted his glasses. "That tone of voice is from someone who actually knows the reason behind your itchy eyes, Kurosaki."
"Do enlighten me."
"Why enlighten you, when I can show you? All I need to do is have Kuchiki-san twirl around in that new dress I made for her."
Ichigo paled at that.
Oh the joys of torture. "It's quite a lovely dress, isn't it? Exactly her size; the color accentuates her eyes; and the length is just right. Not too short, not too long. Just enough to leave you staring."
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." Ichigo grumbled, looking away, a blush creeping up his cheeks. He continued to rub at his eyes.
Ishida chuckled. "Of course you don't. But I'll tell you what I know. You're a shitty actor." He turned and walked away, quite content to leave a confused and thoroughly embarrassed Ichigo wondering how he found out.
It wasn't that hard, really.
The moment Orihime had asked Rukia to spin around in order to better appreciate her new dress, Ichigo had looked up and stared mesmerized at the petite female shingami. The dress had risen a few inches up her legs, showing off flawless, milky white skin. Unfortunately for Ichigo, Rukia had caught him staring. In a vain attempt to keep his reputation, and to keep whatever secret he wanted to keep well hidden, Ichigo rubbed at his eyes and complained of dust.
Ishida thought it was the most pathetic excuse. Kuchiki-san bought it, though.
How she couldn't see past that sad excuse for acting, Ishida did not know. But there are two things he is now sure of as he continues to walk away: one, Kurosaki Ichigo is secretly feeling something for Kuchiki Rukia. And two, Kurosaki Ichigo can't act for shit.