~Keepsake Box~
This is a Shandy fic idea for the #Raydordrawermystery prompt.
Sharon Raydor sat at her desk slowly turning her chair to look through the windows of her office scanning the Murder room. It was empty just as she knew it would be at this time of night. The team had just closed a hard case and they all went home exhausted. Sharon liked this time of night, this was when she could finish paperwork in peace or just have some down time after the rough case they just had. The quiet gave her time to herself to regroup her emotions. Cases involving children always got to all of them but maybe more so her because she was a mother. She knew everyone on the team had that one type of case that was just harder to let go of and this one was hers. Taking a breath and leaning back in her chair she rubbed her hand along her forehead.
She sat there looking up at the ceiling for a few minutes then she sat up straighter and slowly pulled open her top left drawer. Sharon knew Chief Johnson had her candy stashed in the same drawer and that Brenda needed it when she was stressed. She wasn't a stress eater if anything stress caused her to eat less. Before reaching in Sharon once again looked around the outer office to make sure it was empty. This was something she didn't want anyone to see. She knew she was a private person may be too private. It was hard for her to let anyone see past what she wanted them to see. At work, all she let her fellow LAPD officers see was Captain Raydor. Though that was changing some since taking over the Major Crimes Division.
She pulled the decorated cedar box out of the drawer and set it carefully on her desk in front of her. Just taking a moment to stare at it before opening it. Sharon ran her hands over the top, even the box itself held memories for her. The feel of it on her fingertips and the smell as she took a deep breath, smiling, she loved the smell of cedar it brought back memories. Her mother had given her the hand-craved Keepsake box when as a wedding gift when she and Jack got married. Telling her it was to hold her special memories. When she opened it beside her mother before walking down the aisle to her new life, there was one single picture inside; it was a very young Sharon smiling up at her mom. She could still hear her mom's voice saying honey, this is a special memory to keep with you while you create new ones. Sharon knew she needed to call her parents looking at her watch it was too late now but tomorrow, she would call them tomorrow.
Opening the box Sharon moved a few things around to get to the older pictures on the bottom. Her back stiffened as she pulled out the first item she herself added to the box it was her wedding picture. It wasn't an ideal marriage but she had had so many hopes and dreams when she first got married. Through her early married life, she had added a few things in the box, a seashell from a trip to the beach, a ribbon that she used to put in Emily's hair, a note from Ricky when he was little telling her to catch the bad guy and I love you, mommy. There wasn't much in her box of Jack those memories were in her head and she didn't need to reminisce them Sharon knew she would never forget.
What she really used the Keepsake box for was when she got transferred to IA. It was the first time she officially had a desk of her own and learned quickly that having pictures of her family displayed on it wasn't going to work. Police officers that were meeting her at her desk didn't need to know or shouldn't have information about her personal life it was a lesson she learned the hard way. When Rusty first came to stay with her and he cruelly asked: "someone married you?" It wasn't the first time she had heard that comment. Sharon knew she wasn't going to be well liked being in IA but that's not what she was here for she was here for her family. She moved to IA after finding out she was pregnant with Emily. It was safer and the hours let her be home more since Jack started being homeless.
Knowing she could bring the box home now it wasn't needed as much at work. These last few years running Major Crimes weren't as hard on her as her old position was but she liked to be able to have that time to go through it maybe remember what she used to have. She knew she couldn't live in the past it wasn't healthy to constantly think about the what if's in her life but she always did it anyway. Sharon would try not to but would end up playing the what if game. Her biggest what if was, what if she actually did go to law school her life would be so much different now. She had no illusion that Jack would have stayed with her. She didn't do much what if's about her life with Jack anymore. She had done all she could to try and keep them together she had given that man too many chances and too many what if while they were together.
Back when she decided on joining the force it was to bring in a paycheck but still fulfill her need to help people. Basically, deep down in her soul, that's all she was ever wanted to do. Even her time in IA was about helping the other police officers. She was sure they didn't see it that way but she was fine with that. She took out the shell, the ribbon, the letter and pictures to spread them on her desk. She finally found the picture she was looking for. It was her in uniform the day she graduated from the Academy, her parents had taken it. Jack was too busy studying for the Bar exam for all she knew now he was probably in one. She was naive about jack back then, actually, she was naive about so many things.
Sharon leaned forward and put her elbows on the desk, holding the picture in front of her, she smiled. She was so proud that day, ready to help the world but still innocent of how it all really worked. What if she didn't become a cop? Her life would be so different, granted she wouldn't be disliked by so many people but that was something she could live with because she helped a lot too. If she had never become a police officer was her next big what if in live. She would have never meet Rusty and she wouldn't have him as a son. That worried her all the time, what he would be doing with his life if they hadn't ever met? If she wasn't a Captain on the LAPD she wouldn't have this great group of detectives in her life and whom she now considered her friends even if she wasn't sure her team thought the same of her sometimes. Most of all she wouldn't have a certain Lieutenant in her life. It was a big what if but was it a what if they had never met wouldn't her life be easier. Sure she wouldn't have known Andy and she wouldn't be in her current dilemma. Was she willing to admit she wanted to be more than just friends with her Lieutenant? Was she willing to risk what she worked so hard for? What if Andy wasn't attracted to her the way she was to him? Sharon had known Andy a long time and she knew the type of girls and yes she meant girls he typically dated. She was definitely not his type but they had fun together and Andy seemed to be the one asking her to friendly non-date dinners and stuff. So that must mean he liked her enough to spend more time with her out of work.
Setting the picture of her younger self aside she picked up one of her favorite things that she kept in her keepsake box. Out of everything she had in there this was probably the one thing she most wanted to keep secret. Sharon once again did a quick scan of the dark Murder Room to make sure it was still empty. At ease that no one was around she held up the tie and let it slide through her fingers, the purple silk made her smile. Sharon smoothed it along her cheek and she caught the scent of the tie. The rich fragrance of the cedar box had taken over most of it but she could still pick up a trace of the cologne from the man that once wore it. This tie made her feel a little guilty, she really should have returned it to its owner way back then. The problem was they weren't on speaking terms after he stormed out of her office. So technically it wasn't her fault she knew he wouldn't want to see her for a long time.
The tie was left in her office when she was in IA and reprimanding a then Sergeant Flynn. They were arguing, well it was like usual she listened while he blew off his hot-temper at her. Andy had been pacing her office as he vented his anger at her, he had taken his jacket off already and as he was pacing and yelling more he loosened his tie and a few buttons of his shirt. Sharon let Andy have his rant this wasn't their first run in and she knew he meant no harm he just had to let it out. Sharon also knew that he was most angry with himself because Andy knew he had screwed up and this last mistake could be the final straw for him.
Sharon understood that all the LAPD figured she thought that her job was to get officers fired. That it was far from the truth she took pride in getting bad cops off the force but she also did everything she could to keep the good ones on it. Andy was good at his job he just had a problem and when she said, "it's the badge or the bottle," Andy stormed over to her desk. Sharon actually caught herself from wanting to push her chair away from him as he approached her angrily but she refused to show any weakness. As he stopped next to her desk and glared down at her Andy yanked off his tie in frustration and slammed it on her desk, well if you can slam a tie but he did a good job of it. Refusing to back down she continued making eye contact with him, Sharon could feel the heat of his glare run through her. Andy slowly leaned down close to her and hissed, "you really are the Wicked Witch aren't you" with that he grabbed his jacket off the chair and stormed out of her office.
Sharon figured if he wanted the tie back he could come get it but after that day she hadn't seen Andy again, for years in fact. She heard from his boss that Andy had completed the mandatory classes she issued for him, sobered up and was regularly going to AA. It seemed he was staying out of trouble either to keep his badge or to never see her again, either way, she was happy for him. That was how she ended up with his tie. She certainly couldn't bring home another man's tie she was a married woman even albeit unhappily married. So she ended up keeping it in her Keepsake box and it went with her to all the different desks she had over the years even through the move from Parker Center to their new LAPD offices. The box was her grounded point through each promotion and to where it currently rested in her Major Crimes desk. Sharon had added a few things to the Keepsake box over the last couple years, there was now a picture of Rusty with Emily and Ricky, all three were smiling. She had added the two Nutcracker programs, but in the last few years, this was the first time she had taken Andy's tie out. Sharon caressed her fingers over the tie again closing her eyes, she could picture Andy wearing it as she slid her hand down his chest.
"Sharon, what are you still doing here?" Andy said as he swung her office door open causing her to jump and opened her eyes, Sharon was startled and acted like she was caught doing something wrong. She quickly dropped his tie on her lap and scooted her chair in closer to her desk hoping he hadn't seen what she was holding. Of all the people to walk in on her, it had to be Lt. Flynn.
Taking a deep breath to calm her heart rate. Sharon felt silly for acting like a kid getting caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Trying to act casual she placed her arms on her desk and entwined her finger mostly to stop them from fidgeting. Finally feeling settled she looked up and made eye contact with Andy she noticed he was leaning against the door jam with his hands in his pockets. "I was down at the bar with Louie watching him drink when I realized I left my phone in my desk. I wouldn't want to miss a call from the boss if we catch a new case. You know she can be pretty tough," Andy said with his lopsided smile that always caused her stomach to do somersaults. When she still didn't say anything he continued "so I ask again Captain, what are you were still doing here this late?"
She panicked and looked down at her desk, which now had pictures and items scattered over it. She was looking for her pen and the file she was supposed to be working on. Finding the missing pen and noticing the file buried under her keepsake items she quickly slid it out from underneath them placing the file on top trying to cover up most of the items and innocently said "paperwork."
"Um, uh yeah, looks like it?" Andy walked into her office a couple steps "look, Sharon, I know this was a rough case for everyone but it must have been harder for a mother that cares for her children to see what a selfish, cruel and horrible person is capable of doing to their own children." Andy glanced from Sharon then down to her desk and he could make out a few of the pictures sticking out from under the file, he figured they were of Emily and Ricky he even saw one of her and Jack, they had looked young and happy. Andy knew she wanted to be alone with her thoughts so he quietly told her, "you know as I said before, I'm here if you need me."
As Andy turned to leave Sharon quickly started putting the pictures and items back in her keepsake box and closed it. "Andy" she called out to him before he got too far away. He came back into her office walked right up beside her and leaned against her desk. He noticed her desk was cleaned off all except the file she said she was working on and a wood box. "I just want to say thank you. Really Andy, thank you for all that you do for me...I mean for the team." She leaned back in her chair to put some space between them. The way his dark eyes seem to see right into her made it hard for her to think clearly.
She let out a hum when Andy leaned down closer to her and in a whisper he asked her, "Sharon, is that my tie on your lap?"
"Hmm, what?" Completely forgetting it was still there, that's how distracted she got when Andy was around her. When it finally registered what he said her hmmm turned into a groan.
She watched memorized as Andy slowly and purposely got even closer to her, reaching his hand out he picked up the tie that was lying in her lap. Sharon could have sworn his hand stayed there longer than necessary and that she could feel the warmth of his hand being so close to her center. Sharon quickly pushed her chair back from her desk with her feet to disconnect the heat she was feeling but it didn't work she could still feel it pulsing through her. Andy held up the tie he successfully took off her lap before she jumped away from him. Andy asked again "Sharon, is this my tie? I thought I lost it years ago."
"Um... I... um... well... I." She couldn't believe she was studdering trying to come up with an answer.
Andy thought he had never seen anything more adorable than Darth Raydor flustered and stumbling over her words. "I had always assumed I left it in some bar."
Sharon finally found her words and in a quiet voice, she reminded him of the day he left it in her office. "Andy, I meant to return it to you, really. I was going to give it to you the next time you were in my office but you seem to stay out of trouble for years after that. I assumed you were being good so you didn't have to see the Wicked Witch again," she said that last part with a smile knowing he started that one. The name calling never really got to her and she had been called much worse.
"I stayed out of trouble because I was afraid if I had to see you again it meant my job. I'll never forget that day, it was the day you changed my life." Andy reached down, placed his hand on hers and pulled her up to stand in front of him. "After I calmed down, I always regretted the way I yelled at you and for calling you that nickname I can't imagine what idiot came up such a horrible name for you. I was too embarrassed to go back and apologize so I'm doing it now it may be years too late but Sharon I am truly sorry for all the times I yelled at you." Looking into her bright green eyes Andy thought he had seen a glimpse of a tear forming in them. "You never deserved any of it. I was just mad at myself and took it out on you. I don't know why you let me get away with that. Anyone else probably would have decked me but thank you for everything you did. Sharon you basically gave me an ultimatum in your office and that day I choose the badge over the bottle. I haven't had a drink since."
Sharon tried to swallow the lump building in her throat so she could speak without breaking down. Letting out a breath she said, "Andy I understand and you don't have to apologize but don't think for a minute that I didn't consider punching you. Though I would end up being a hothead just like you." Laughing a bit at that, she then held on a little tighter to his hands, "Andy it was you that changed your life around you and only you. Now I might have pissed you off enough to push you in the right direction but you did all the work." Sharon smiled up at Andy as he laughed too.
Andy kept a hold of her hands he didn't want to let go or to give her a chance to put space between them, "it's beautiful."
Assuming he was talking about the Keepsake box on the desk beside them both Sharon answered "thank you, my mother gave it to me when..."
"Not the box though it is beautiful. No Sharon, I meant you and your smile." She looked down at her shoes not sure if she could handle all the desire she could see burning in Andy's eyes. "Maybe, it's time I give you an ultimatum huh?" With a finger under her chin, he tilted her head back up holding her there as he said, "Sharon it's been long enough, don't you think? I would like to help you create new memories to add to your box. If you'd let me."
Letting herself go Sharon smiled at Andy and because it was getting too hard to hold back her need for him. Sharon's voice came out low and husky "I would really like that Andy...but...um...can I keep this tie? It's always been one of my favorites."
She had him worried for a second there with the but part at the end. Laughing, Andy placed the tie over her head and pulled her close to him "sure, you can keep the tie but..." he was doing what she did to him "but only if I get come visit it and get to see you wearing just my tie." Seeing the shock his words put on Sharon's face Andy quickly tugged on the tie to bring her closer still. When they were body against body Andy kissed her passionately he wanted her to feel how much he wanted her and how much he cared for her. Andy let go of the tie so he could run his hands through her hair.
When Sharon stepped back, Andy was hoping it was to catch her breath not to disappoint him. In a breathless voice, she whispered "well, I do like purple and I have always wanted to try it on" then she pulled on the tie he was currently wearing and kissed him with more deep intensity than their first kiss. After needing air they separated, Sharon tried to seem calm as she reached over to her desk and put the Keepsake box back into her drawer, minus the tie which was still around her neck. Taking one of Andy's hands, Sharon looked into his dark brown eyes and she could see the fire for her in them, she was sure it matched the burning for him in hers and she softly said as she tugged him towards her office door "and I think I'd like to try it on...tonight."
A/N: Hope you liked my take on the #Raydordrawermystery! Ok, now back to work on my other Shandy fic, RNFAA, Really Not Fine At All! So, I can update soon! No, really;)