She stood in the middle of the rose pedal passage. Her mother's hand was between her wrist, slowly gripped her arm. People's eye sight focused on her, and its meaning she couldn't interpret. Her nose began to feel sore, and her eyes' orbital became red. She turned her head away from the messenger's warm breathe.
"She said she is sorry... She is who she is." The messenger's voice made her uncomfortable, "She said she is sorry."
Carmen had read many books that used heaven and hell to describe some sort of feeling, happy or pain. And she could only felt cold at the time.
It made sense. She was in Canada, it was winter. Being cold made sense.
But why didn't she felt cold before?
She could still see her lover. She was holding hands with her long lost father, they were walking away from her to drink.
"She also doesn't go to sleep until two a.m." she remember saying those words, as one of the very last words she said to her.
She was kissing her right before the wedding night. It was breaking the traditions, but the reckless lover told her to fuck the traditions. If there's a second chance, she would rather just grab the lover into her room and close to door. She wanted to lock her in that hotel room-no, no, no, she wouldn't.
Shane, her lover, was never bonded by the rules.
She could feel her grayish brown eyes watching her devotedly. She didn't have to say anything, her eyes would tell her that she loved her. Her eyes would tell a story, that she would love her forever, for the entire life, it was the real, true, secured love. They would make her feel like she could fell in love forever.
She could see herself being with her for the lifetime. At every morning's first sight, at adopting or giving birth to children, at buying a pretty house and cars, at the occasional dinner parties, and at every night's bed. She could see herself in her eyes, with a wrinkled faces, representing their precious time spent together.
She forgot that everything was only imagination.
She stood here, being the center of countless people, at the same time felt entirely alone. The light didn't exist, her mother's warm hug didn't exist, her friends' comfort didn't exist, the flowers didn't exist. And her wedding dress was laughing at her.
She already knew what happened, there was no need to question.
Whether she cheated, or she got scared, or any other possible things to happen between last night and now, there was the end of their story.
Carmen's, Shane's, ending of their real deal.
Her name didn't add on McCutcheon, and she was still Carmen de la Pica Morales.
When she returned back to L.A., she was the same person as she had never met that person of her life.
Only the heart was no longer complete.
That's simply it.