I dream of rain

I dream of gardens in the desert sand

I wake in pain

I dream of love as time runs though my hand

And as she turns

This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams

This fire burns

I realise that nothing's as it seems

Sweet desert rose

Each of her veils, a secret promise

This desert flower

No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this

Desert Rose

by Sting

Author's note:

I know this song is already used by some persons (in stories and in very good videos). Guess that simply proves that Sting is a great singer and that his songs (especially "Desert Rose", although I prefer "Russians", but can't find a story that would fit) are great, too.

I read a lot of stories about the Silver Millennium with them being princesses on their planets and with Usagi as Princess Serenity. To be honest I don't like those stories (with some exceptions!). They are often very unrealistic and Usagi as a shinning Princess who has to rule a whole universe? Sounds kinda scary.

But while listening to that song I got the idea what could have happened in a universe before time. The planet Uranus is a desert planet in my story and so the song simply fitted so well (especially with the Arabian words at the beginning).

I don't like Science Fiction, but I do love Fantasy books. I read "Lord of the rings" more than once and so the whole story gets the touch of a fantasy tale in the land of Arabian Nights.

Disclaimer: Haruka and Michiru were created by Takeuchi Naoko and still belong to her. However the story is mine.

If you liked or disliked the story please feel free to mail to aprileaglefreenet.de . I'll answer every letter. Really!

This story is for Adri-chan. Hope you'll like it (some scenes were inspired by your wonderful story). Don't worry about the bathroom scene, you'll see it in the next story -!

For peace and friendship (and love...)

(by April Eagle)

Prologue: Abandoned children

It was a stormy night. Thunder rolled above through a cloudy sky. All light seemed to be outcast from this world. There was only some lightening jumping from cloud to cloud in a bizarre dance. The sea was dark and wild. High waves crashed against a rocky beach. There was nothing else heard than heavy raindrops falling down on the deep water's surface and against closed windows. The building was huge. So was the entrance door. A shadow crept over the wet, slippery staircase steps. It hold under a wide cape in its strong arms a basket. Carefully the appearance put it down and knocked impatiently at the wooden door. Then it turned around and disappeared into the darkness.

"What's up so late in the night?"

The door was opened and a young woman stepped out. Her long blue hairs shimmered almost violet in the dim light as she looked around. But there was no one to be seen. She shivered and laid her arms around her waist as she discovered the basket.

"Dear?" she heard her husband's voice as she opened the basket and took a deep breath. Two dark blue eyes looked curious at her and tiny hands were stretched towards her moving strands. The thunderstorm was really bad. The worst they had during the last twenty five years. The worst she could remember herself.

"Hey, little one. Where's your mommy?" She reached into the basket and took the baby in her warm arms. The nappy wasn't closed properly and so she saw that it was a small girl. A freezing small girl. But there was no sign of the mother.

"Who brought you here?" The woman stroke thoughtfully over fluffy blonde hairs and made her decision as the baby started to laugh. She knew that she would never get any answers from the small girl but her heart already knew that she needn't any.

"Darling?" A man with a gun in his hands appeared next to her and looked around. But all he saw was darkness and never ending rain. He was born on this water planet, too, but he had never experienced such a strange, threatening thunderstorm himself.

His dark eyes grew wide as he saw the baby in his wife's arms.

"Who's that?" he asked with a quiet voice and looked again out into the night. Again he saw nothing than the wild sea and the lightening.

His wife smiled tenderly at the baby before she raised her head and gave him a quick kiss. Now her expression was suddenly very determined - and sad.

"She's now our sea princess's sister."

"But mommy..."

The little girl of five years wanted to escape but her mother was faster. She grabbed the small arm and pulled her with her along the light, white corridor of the palace.

"But mommy..."

Big tears shimmered in light blue eyes and ran down a pale face. Two plaids of blonde hairs almost touched the ground as the small girl tried to free her hand out of her mother's fist. But she wasn't strong enough. Her wide white dress was dirty at the rims and one of her shoes were missing.

"No mommy, small lady! You didn't obey and that means that you'll stay on your room for the next days - until you know what you've done!" The woman crossed determined a light hall and nodded to the guards who looked with pity at the small girl - but knew that they couldn't help her.

"But I did nothing wrong..." cried the girl and stumbled. But her mother didn't stop. So she lost her second shoe and tried not to fall down.

"Nothing wrong!" The woman suddenly stopped and the girl almost crashed into her. "Nothing wrong! You left the palace without my permission, you went down to earth and met with that nasty guy? That's nothing wrong for you then!"

The little girl shook her head and her blue eyes grew wide as the door was opened.

"But he's my friend." She stammered and more tears ran down her pale cheeks.

"That prince is not your friend, small lady! He's from earth and that's not a planet you should deal with. Those people are all mean and silly." The woman leaned over her daughter and the girl automatically winced back. "You're a princess, the future princess of the Silver Millennium. You shouldn't talk to people under your position. And especially not to him!"

"But Endymion is my..."

"Be quiet now, Serenity! You go in your room and you won't come out until you didn't change your mind!" The woman pushed her daughter into her child's room. A tidied up, clean room the small princess hated. Because here she was always alone. There were no children of her age at the palace. And she was hardly allowed to visit the princesses' of the other planets.

"But mommy..."

The girl screamed in pain as her mother slapped her right into the face. She stumbled back and finally sat down on the soft carpet she hated even more because it was white and you could see every spot on it.

"Don't you ever call me that silly name again, Serenity! And don't you ever dare to visit that damn prince again!" The small princess looked into her mother's sparkling eyes and sighed deeply.

"Hai, Queen." She whispered and crossed her arms before her chest. As the door was closed again she lowered her head and started desperately to cry.

It was the worst sandstorm the planet experienced during the past 100 years. Even the wise and very old men couldn't remember such a bad storm. The sand was thrown in the air and darkened the far away sun and the light being reflected from different moons. The desert was nothing more than a wild raging sea. A dry sea you could asphyxiate without being drown at all.

The day turned into night and the people crept into their houses under the surface. There were less buildings above. Only the huge capital city with the palace. Sand slowly covered the streets and the roofs. Crashed against thick walls and let the servants think that the world was going to end.

"Shit!"

She walked through the long corridors, but she didn't notice the torches burning at the walls. Nor did she notice nature's fight outside the strong palace walls.

"Shit!"

Again her low voice cursed and she almost run, although she knew that it was against etiquette. She was the ruler, so she wasn't allowed to run. To show nervousness. To show any fear.

It's not the right day for the birth.

She lowered her head and stroke some strands of her short blonde hairs behind her ears. She didn't even notice that her hands trembled.

It would never be the right day.

She swallowed hard as she tried to walk faster without breaking into run.

I wish he was still alive.

Her fists were clenched and the flame's lights danced over her pale face. Deep shadows laid under her eyes, betrayed that she didn't sleep properly the last night. Or that she didn't sleep at all.

How shall I help her?

She didn't know. But she knew that there had to be a way. Of helping the one who was the most important person in her life. Who was her only family in this cruel world. Who was all she had.

Shit! Shit! Shit! I have no idea how to get a child in this world. Shit! Shit...

She almost screamed as she crashed into an old man standing near the door. He was tall, even one head taller than her. And very slim. You could almost see his bones under his flesh. His face was old and his eyes told his patients that he had seen a lot in his life. A lot of joy and happiness. But also a lot of pain and despair. Too often he couldn't help any more.

Like this time.

No!

One look in his dark eyes said her more than all his words.

No...

"Is there no other possibility..." she asked and was surprised that her voice didn't sound shaky at all. Was that the shock? But her throat was sore and her stomach tried to rebel. She felt as if she would throw up her breakfast the next moment.

"I am very sorry, Haruka. But her heart has never been strong as we all know. I guess the last months had been too much for her." He took a deep breath and laid one hand on her suddenly trembling shoulder. "She won't survive this day, Haruka. I am not even sure if she's strong enough to give birth to her child. Her body's weak and her mind, too. She simply doesn't want to live any longer and gives up." He hold her back as she wanted to run over to the door. "Don't blame her, Haruka. She fought hard the last months to survive up to now. To be honest I didn't expect seeing her in labour pains. I thought she wouldn't survive the past weeks after she came to you." Now his voice was very silent. "And don't blame yourself, Haruka. It's not your fault. You did all you could - and even more."

Sure. That's why he's dead and she's dying now. Probably together with her child!

Haruka fought herself free and walked determined over to the door. She could hear her doctor's silent words and swallowed hard to fight back the tears suddenly burning in her eyes.

"I am so sorry, prince."

She opened the door and winced wildly as she heard the desperate scream evolving inside the large room. The curtains locked out the sandstorm and it was very warm inside. A fire was burning in a chimney hardly ever used before. This was a desert land and although the nights could be very cold, they seldom needed a real fire.

"Hey!"

Haruka ignored the woman as she walked towards the bed. A shadow laid under a thin blanket and gasped hard for breath.

"Hey! You aren't allowed to get in here! This is nothing for a man!" The woman tried to hold her back, but she pushed her away.

"Hey!"

Haruka turned around and her deep green eyes shone with anger as she screamed at the nurse.

"I am her fiancé! That's my child she's giving birth to. And don't tell me that this isn't my business!"

"Haruka?"

The voice was silent, almost unheard.

"But your hollowness!" whispered the nurse but kept quiet as she saw how the midwife nodded.

Haruka slowly turned around and kneeled down next to the bed. Without thinking she pulled her white turban from her head, it landed somewhere on the soft carpet. Two dark eyes looked tired at her and a small hand reached for her. The young woman hold it tight. To her shock the small one was icy, although sweat covered a pale face.

"What did I always tell you?" whispered the smaller woman and winced wildly as the pain increased again inside her body. The blanket could hardly cover her huge belly and Haruka knew that it wasn't a day too early that the child would be born. At last. After nine exciting months.

Worried green eyes looked into tired dark ones.

Those months had been too exciting for her...

"That I should be nice and think over before I shout around at innocent people." Whispered Haruka and smiled a sad smile wondering how long she could kneel here without breaking out into tears.

"Hai. Please don't let your hot temper control your feelings, Haru. And don't let this child be as wild as you are." She laughed. It sounded more like a sob. "Or at least not very wild."

"That's your part of preventing it." Declared Haruka and stroke one strand of long, black hairs out of the sweaty face, tried to dry it with a soft towel.

"No, Haru. I know that I am not strong enough to survive this birth." The smaller woman took a deep breath. It sounded strange. And very ill.

Her heart's too weak for this effort.

"Don't say such a nonsense. You'll be fine again in a week and then it'll keep you awake the whole night." Haruka squeezed the icy hand harder and felt how it got even more colder.

"You'll be the one watching over this child. You'll see it grow. Please let it live here, Haru..." again a deep breath. "Here on Uranus and not... not with my parents. They aren't able to love it. But you are, Haru. You may... may be stubborn sometimes... but... but you still know how... how to care for... for someone..." She groaned as the pain reached a level she could hardly bare any longer.

"Arigato that you... you cared for me... me and..." she took a deep breathe and lowered her head down to the huge pillow.

"No, Rumi-chan. You can't leave me simply like that!" whispered Haruka and shook her head. "Do you hear me? I won't let you go so easily. 'Cause the child needs you and I need you, too."

There was a sudden smile on a pale face. A tired face.

"You need someone, Haru... but... but that's not... not me. It's never... never been." She whispered and the smile grew wider. She turned her head and stared at the wall. But she seemed to see something the other didn't notice at all. Or someone...

"Don't worry about me... about me, Haru... Jimmy's there to... to care for me... he already waits for me... for me... and..."

"No! Rumi-chan! You'll be fine again. Don't you give up!" Haruka hold the hand tighter and suddenly her voice was shaky. "Jimmy can wait. For him it makes no difference if you go today or in 50 years. But it makes a big difference to your child. And to me..."

The pain increased even more and the pregnant woman groaned oppressed. The midwife took away the blanket and told her to press. To press for heaven's sake and let this baby be born at last. Let it be alive. Even if it would take her own life...

"Just care about..." The world only existed of pain as the young woman did what the midwife told her.

"No, Rumi-chan. You won't leave me just like that. I need you. You're the only one I've got in this bloody universe..."

"I know you've always been stubborn, Haru..." At that moment the pain was too much she could bare any longer. She screamed and within her scream there was another voice. A high voice. A child's voice making its first breath.

Haruka raised her head and looked at the naked, bloody child in old hands that held a lot of new born children in their long life.

"Congratulation, Prince of Uranus. It's a girl." Declared the midwife and wrapped the small child in a towel. Then she froze in motion and a sad expression appeared on her old face. Her dark eyes looked sad at the child's mother and suddenly tears shimmered in them. She had seen a lot of pain in her life but sometimes even she was still touched by destiny.

"I am sorry." Were her next words. Words that froze like ice in Haruka's veins. She frowned and turned her head towards the young woman. And gasped for breath. And shook her head. And held the now lifeless hand tighter in her own ones.

"No, Rumiko..." she whispered as she saw the frozen smile on a pale face. The eyes were closed. As if the young woman slept. But Haruka knew that she would never awake again.

No. I need you, Rumi-chan. You're the only person in my damn life. You've been the light in my darkness. You've been the last one who knew about the truth. Whom I could trust. Completely. Who listened to my problems and made me laugh! How shall I live without you?

Haruka lowered her head and two tears ran down her cheeks, wetted the icy hand.

Didn't you know that I loved you, Rumiko?

But she knew that the young woman couldn't hear her any longer. That every word she'd say aloud was in vain.

The door was opened somewhere and the doctor came in. Shortly he looked at the pale fiancée of his prince and shook his head in silence.

"She's a strong, little girl." Whispered the midwife and before Haruka could react a warm bundle was put into her strong arms. Automatically she let go of the icy hand and stared into tired, dark eyes.

Like her mother's eyes.

"How will her name be?"

Haruka swallowed hard as she rocked the small child in her arms and took a deep breath to fight back her tears. Tears she didn't want to cry in front of other people.

"Hotaru." She whispered and slowly came to her feet.

My daughter.

"Hotaru, Princess of Uranus." Again she swallowed as the baby settled into sleep. "Go and tell her grandparents about her birth and about their daughter's... death. And that I will raise her here on Uranus. I, her father."

The doctor nodded and bowed before her.

"I'll tell them immediately, my prince." Then he was gone. He took the nurse and the midwife with him and left Haruka alone. In silence. In loneliness.

The young woman sighed deeply as she walked over to one of the huge windows and pushed the heavy curtain aside.

"This is your home, Hotaru." She declared very quietly and squeezed the warm bundle in her arms a little bit tighter. She didn't want to turn around to look at the pale, lifeless young woman again. Her green eyes watched the sandstorm for a long time while she listened to the regular breaths of the baby.

For a moment she believed to see two lights within the storm but they were gone as fast as they appeared.

Now there's only you and me left.

Haruka swallowed hard as she saw the sign shimmering for a few seconds on the small child's forehead. A sign she had seen before. She knew its meaning and she knew that she would fight for this child if it would ever be necessary.

You took over the tradition, Hotaru.

Haruka sighed deeply and closed her eyes. The carpet fell before the window again and darkness surrounded her.

But at the same time you'll be the one breaking those stupid rules at last.

Again the young woman heard Rumiko's voice again in her head. A younger, a higher voice. But the same sad as it had always been during the past ten years.

"You've been right, Rumi-chan." Whispered Haruka although she knew that she couldn't hear her anymore. She was now in another world. Hopefully in a better world. Together with her Jimmy.

"We're all abandoned children."

The belt hit her for the last time. She had crossed her arms before her face. No one should see her scars when she wore her narrow dresses with long sleeves. Tears burned in her eyes as the pain flashed through her body and she felt a warm fluid running over her forearms.

"I dislike any contradiction on my view!" The low voice let her shiver and she lowered her head.

"But... but you know what he did to his first wives." She whispered and swallowed hard. But he didn't beat her again. She heard how he walked over to her door.

"He's even too good for a person like you, damn witch!" he declared and she couldn't fight back a desperate sob any longer.

"But..."

"No buts any longer! You're going to be his wife within the next month. And you should be grateful that someone wants you. He's a respectably earl of Pluto and..."

"But even princess Setsuna doesn't trust him any longer."

"... and you are nothing than a bloody princess. The youngest, useless daughter which caused more trouble than she's worth. And about that Pluto girl, all she's able to do is to guard this bloody time portal. She never had a man and so she doesn't know about his real qualities."

"To kill his wives is a damn good quality!" Her eyes grew wide as he slapped her right into the face and she fell down on the cold ground. There were no carpets in her room. Only a narrow bed and a desk with an old chair. The curtains were thin and you could hear the rushes of the endless seas that covered the surface of her home planet. A planet she had never been welcomed on.

"You shouldn't curse, witch." He clenched his fists and opened the door. "We all knew that it were tragic accidents. And whatever you try to do, you'll be his wife at the end of the month, Michiru. And you should be grateful!"

With a loud slam the door was closed and all that remained was silence. Silence and the quiet sobs of a desperate young woman.

"Accidents, sure." She whispered and shook her head while tears ran down her pale cheeks. "And I'll be the tragic accident number three." Slowly she came to her feet and sat down at her desk. Very carefully she pulled a crumbled letter out of a drawer and read the text again and again.

"But not with me, father . I won't obey any longer." She swore herself and sobbed again. It was a damn bad solution, but it was her only chance to survive.

What if he won't be any better than that earl?

Again she read the few lines and sighed deeply. Then she stood up and took a long blue dress from a luggage under her bed. She couldn't go to him like this. Somehow she had to bandage her wounds and to hide her scars.

Well, he can't be worse, can he?

Slowly she changed her clothes and gasped for breath as the pain flashed again through her weak body. Then she sat down at her bed and waited for everyone to go to bed.

As the night came she crept out of her room and walked very, very carefully and very, very slowly through the palace she grew up. She didn't look back at the rooms she knew so well. Nor did she look back at the waves she knew she would miss. She would never see again in her whole life.

It's a damn bad solution.

But it's my only hope for life.

"How many letters did you send?"

Haruka walked excited through the light room of her office. Her prime minister stood right behind her desk and looked determined down the copies he made. The letters left the palace and Uranus two weeks ago and it was alike to him how much his prince would rage - the princesses would get them.

"Prince Haruka, please think it over! You're 20 now. Next year you'll be 21 and you'll be king. Uranus needs a queen and strong sons to keep on with the tradition. And princess Hotaru needs a mother as well."

But I don't need a silly, always talking and never thinking wife!

For some seconds Haruka saw again Rumiko's smiling face and heard again the smaller woman's voice that not all princesses were that stupid. That not all were that blind. That there was certainly someone out there who'd love her with all consequences.

Haruka stopped believing in her words a long time ago.

"How many letters?" she asked impatiently and crossed again the light room.

"Thirty."

Haruka only closed her eyes and groaned slightly.