Disclaimer: I own a very minimal amount of chocolate. That's about it.
A/N: Looking back after writing this, this reads a lot like a how-to book on raising children... Not that I actually know anything about that or anything.
Always
Parents, whether they be first-timers or repeat offenders, always wonder the same things - Will my child be healthy? Happy? He he or she live a good life? Will they make the same mistakes that I did? It is perhaps the last that provides the source of greatest consternation.
Everybody makes mistakes; it's an unavoidable fact of life. Some mistakes are minor, but some affect the rest of our lives. Occasionally it works out for the best. Bust most of the time it blows up in our faces.
We always try to protect our children, both from the obvious threats and those that lie hidden in the shadows, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. But the fact always remains the same - we can't always save them. There are some things in life that people must experience for themselves, thing we can't shield them from. Some lessons must be learned the hard way, no matter how much it pains us to watch our loved ones suffer.
If children are not allowed to make their own mistakes, they will not learn form them. But we still can't help but worry. Will they make good friends? Will they do well in school? Then later: Will they get into a good college? Are they even going to college? Will they meet someone they can spend the rest of their lives with? Will they really be all right on their own? These are the questions that force us to look back on our own lives and the choices (and mistakes) that we ourselves made.
No one wants their children to make the same mistakes we did. We want them to get a better education, to form closer bonds, to work harder than we ever did so they will excel where we simply succeeded. We want them to practice harder, play louder, work better than we did. In a way, we live through them; we want them to do better than we ever did. But how is this fair?
It's not, that's how. What right do we have to push our progeny into doing things that they might not want to do? We have no such right, but we do it anyway. There is simply something about having that second chance through our children that urges us to act without justification.
Our children are not ourselves. They are not miniature versions of our former selves that have been put on this earth for the sole purpose of our personal redemption. No. In fact, it is quite the contrary.
While our children represent both the worst and bet of all of us, they are indeed their own person. They have the natural right to direct their own lives (with the occasional guiding hand), in which they must make their own choices - and yes, mistakes. And as much as it pains us to allow it, we must.
Now, that's not to say that we must always stand by idly. No, we must remain engaged in our children's lives, lest they head down the wrong path altogether. There are indeed times - many, in fact - in which we must intervene and aid them in their life's journey. This is certainly not without its rewards: that first smile, first words, bringing home a positive report card, acceptance to a prestigious (or not-so prestigious) school, news of engagement, wedding, children of their own. They cycle will always repeat itself and parents will always wonder the same things: Will my child be healthy? Happy? Will he or she live a good life?
Will they make the same mistakes that I did?